"Fuck you!" the Commander roared before using her biotics to rip one of the data feed monitors off of the wall, eventually throwing it at Liara. The asari scrambled quickly to put up a barrier to defend against the attack. It came up mere milliseconds before the monitor could contact with her. Once the monitor hit her barrier it exploded and the various pieces dropped to the floor, smoldering. The crash woke a few of the crew up down the hall, one of which was Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams.
A second monitor went flying at Liara though it too hit the barrier and fell uselessly to the floor. Before a third could be thrown, Ashley barged into the room.
Williams was only wearing a pair of sweats and her PT shirt that bore the Alliance logo. She had zero protection against the angry biotic Spectre. But that had never stopped Ashley before. She quickly took in the situation, eyes darting between human and asari. She didn't bother asking what was going on, she could do that later.
By the time Shepard had realized her attack had brought attention to her fight with Liara it was too late. Ashley barreled hard into Shepard's side, knocking the first human Spectre off of her feet and to the floor. The Mass Effect field disappeared from Shepard's body as the air was knocked out of her lungs.
"Ashley!" both Liara and Shepard called out but with different tones to their voice; Liara's held fear while Shepard's held confusion and anger. The second human Spectre had her commanding officer properly pinned to the metal floor of the XO quarters.
"Have you completely lost it, Skipper?" Ashley demanded. If she had had the wherewithal to grab her pistol it would be pointed at the other human.
"Ashley, get the fuck off of me!" Shepard demanded without answering the question. Despite being biotically and cybernetically enhanced she found herself unable to throw the Lieutenant Commander off of her. A pang of pride hit her that she had actually been able to teach the former Gunnery Chief something after all: how to pin your opponent and keep them down.
"No! I don't give a fuck if you're still healing from your injuries, I'll be damned if I let you continue attacking Liara especially without an explanation as to why!" Ashley barked, tightening her grip on the Commander. It was then that Shepard realized her entire body was on fire from the pain of being knocked around and pinned to the hard metal floor. However, another pang of pride hit her when she realized that Ashley had brushed aside her distrust of aliens, or at least one in particular.
"I was handling myself, Lieutenant Commander," the asari finally spoke up, her voice back to its usual softness. Liara could tell that at least some part of Shepard's personality had rubbed off on Ashley: the complete inability to stand by and watch as someone was in trouble.
"One of you tell me what the fuck is going on," Ashley said, sitting on her Commanding Officer's back and keeping her arms pinned behind her.
"The Commander and I... had a disagreement. The leftover stress from the war caused the Commander to get a little angry with me," Liara said, trying to pick her words as carefully as possible since Williams didn't have an inkling about Liara and Shepard. Ashley looked from the asari to the Commander lying under her as she tried to process the situation like she'd been taught all the way back in Basic and further taught by the Commander.
"No. There's more to it than that. I know Shepard. She wouldn't lose her temper like this over a simple disagreement," Ashley said, finally arriving at a conclusion with the information she had been given. Well, nobody had claimed Ashley was stupid. The Moron Jarhead stereotype was extremely wrong when it came to most Marines one could come across.
"Maybe if you got the fuck off of me I could explain without wondering if you re-broke one of my ribs!" Shepard snarled, jerking in the LC's grasp. Liara bit her lower lip, worry creasing her features. She had never imagined this would happen. She also didn't want to make the situation even worse (as if it could get that way) by revealing her relationship with the Commander.
Liara squinted in thought then sighed, rubbing the back of her head.
"The Commander and I... fought with each other about my behavior since I learned she was alive and... about how she was dealing with being alive after taking out the Reapers. She didn't like my attitude and got angry," Liara said, a little pleased she'd been able to explain it even further without revealing why her distant behavior hurt the Commander that much more.
"And you're sure that's all?" Ashley asked. She was sure if she hadn't and there was more to it then the Commander would chew her out for failing to get to the bottom of things and how she'd 'been taught better than that'.
"Yes," Liara said, lying through her teeth.
"Are you happy now, Williams? Get the fucking hell off of me!" Shepard barked from under the Lieutenant Commander. Ashley was slightly startled by Shepard suddenly speaking up but her grip on the Commander's arms didn't falter, which she was proud of.
"I-I will! So long as you promise not to hit me when you get free," Ashley said, wincing at the stammer at the beginning. Shepard rolled her eyes.
"I'm not going to hit you, Williams. You were well within your rights to do what you did," Shepard said as calmly as she could. It was Shepard's leadership style to let her crew decide the best course of action and to speak up when they thought their Commander was doing something foolish or wrong.
Ashley released her hold on the Commander and scrambled to her feet. She took a few steps away from Shepard just out of precaution. However, once Shepard had fully risen to her feet it was clear to Ash that there wasn't going to be a counter attack. Shepard was holding her middle and everyone else in the room could see that her breathing was labored.
Oh shit... maybe I did re-break one of her ribs... Ashley thought to herself, ice dropping into her stomach.
Defeated, the Commander turned to the door in order to leave; she had nothing more to say to Liara that she hadn't said already. Other than, of course, a goodbye. But she wasn't a fan of platitudes. It wasn't a good- anything for their relationship to end.
She took a step to leave the room but her entire body stiffened and every fiber of her being screamed at her. She gave a gasp of pain before starting to collapse to the floor.
In a flash Liara was at Shepard's side and was grasping where she could to keep the Commander upright with the least possible amount of pain. Ashley stepped forward too in order to help her commanding officer stay on her feet.
"Shepard!" they both said, concern in their voices and etched onto their faces.
"Get off of me!" Shepard growled out, mostly to Liara. "You've done enough helping for one day."
"We have to get you to the med bay," Liara insisted, ignoring the Commander's words.
"I'm fine. Just let go," Shepard said.
"No," Liara said, shaking her head.
"I said get off! " Shepard yelled. A mass effect field appeared around her form before erupting outward, throwing both women off of her. Liara and Ashley landed on opposite sides of the room from each other at the same time that Shepard fell face forward into the floor of the ship. She gasped with pain again as she planted her hands on the metal plating then struggled to push herself up to her feet.
"Well, nothing's wrong with your God damn biotics," Ashley mumbled from her spot off to Shepard's right.
Shepard kept her arm around her middle as she limped out of the room. She was vaguely reminded of the fact that she had been in a similar state when she was trying to get to the beam back on Earth to get to the Citadel.
Barely a couple of feet from the door to the XO's quarters and Shepard collapsed. She coughed hard, bringing up blood on the fourth or fifth cough.
By that time Vega had heard all of the commotion and went out to investigate. While not as quick to the draw as Ashley, to his credit he got there in time to help Shepard up off of the floor and partially carry her to the med-bay. He didn't ask questions other than the default 'will she be okay?' directed at Doctor Chakwas. When he'd been reassured that the Commander would indeed be okay after a proper amount of rest and use of bone mesh along with the usual Medi-Gel, he retreated from the med-bay to let the Doctor work.
Shepard was out cold for a couple of days, more than enough time for Joker to get them to Illium. While not exactly the choice Liara would have made, she did have more than enough pull on the planet to get Shepard the care she needed that was above and beyond Doctor Chakwas' abilities.
"Ideally, the Commander should have stayed bedridden for at least two more months after the operations to put her back together after she destroyed the Reapers," one of the doctors said to Liara, Ash, and Doctor Chakwas. Vega had disappeared a few hours previously; to where nobody knew. Joker had stayed on the ship.
"She insisted we leave Mars because of the constant feeds from Earth. We thought she'd be fine on the ship so long as she didn't exert herself," Liara said, folding her arms across her chest.
"Which she obviously ended up doing. We've done what we can and she should make a full recovery. The only problem is we don't know when she will be fully recovered," the doctor said, turning her attention to a data pad in her hand.
"Money's no object nor resources if you-" Liara began.
"It isn't a matter of either one. It depends on her body. She was brought back from this kind of state before. We just have to see if it will take another two years for her body to stitch itself back together," the doctor said.
"So you're saying there's absolutely no way of knowing when she'll be 100 percent? We just have to sit and wait and hope it doesn't take two years or more. Damn, Skipper," Ashley said, her eyes looking through a window at her commanding officer lying vulnerable on a hospital bed.
"Sadly that is the case. I'll leave you three to have some privacy with her," the doctor said before turning and heading off.
"I should actually go and check on Mr. Moreau and make sure he's doing okay," Chakwas said after clearing her throat.
"See ya, Doc," Ashley said softly.
"Thank you, doctor," Liara said.
Chakwas nodded to them both before heading off.
"So... this sucks," Ashley said after a pregnant pause.
"Yes," Liara said, jerked out of her reverie.
"Are you ever going to tell me the true reason the Commander went completely bonkers?" Ashley asked, turning to fully face the asari.
"I already did," Liara said calmly, her gaze tearing away from the Commander to look at Ashley.
"God, I hate it when people lie to me. I know how I acted when we met again on Mars and with the Council but I think I know my own Commanding Officer well enough to know that what you claim to be the sole reason for the Commander to go nutso isn't the whole story," Ashley said firmly.
"I am sorry, Lieutenant Commander, but what happened between us is between us. I will not betray the Commander's trust that I will keep such things quiet," Liara said.
"Yeah well obviously you did a fine job of not betraying the Commander's trust all things considered," Ashley sneered.
"You believe that the reason the Commander attacked me is down to trust?" Liara inquired.
"Very few things can make the Commander completely snap like I saw her do back on the Normandy but the whole trust thing is one of them. Considering how she grew up it shouldn't be a surprise that trust is paramount," Ashley said.
"I don't understand. The Commander told me she grew up an orphan on Earth and ran with a gang for a couple of years. What does any of that have to do with trust?" Liara asked.
"Doc, you're a fine archeologist but you're a shitty psychologist," Ashley said, shaking her head. She ran her fingers through her hair then jerked her head to a couple of chairs set up in the room. Without a word, Liara went and sat in the chair closest to the window. Ashley took the remaining seat.
"I'm not a psychologist either but I've learned a thing or two about people. When you grow up without a family and around people who have very few morals, you tend to have trust issues. You want to trust, but you know you shouldn't. So when you finally do trust somebody and they betray it, it destroys you. The Skipper never trusted the Council to get things done and that helped her bounce back from the betrayal after Bahak and becoming their scapegoat not to mention the clusterfuck with Saren. But the Commander, maybe against her better judgment, trusted us. She trusted us to back her up and catch her when she fell. More importantly, she trusted you completely. With her life. So obviously that trust had to be betrayed for her to end up like this... this shell of a woman," Ashley said.
"But... you also want me to betray that trust further by telling you what caused the argument," Liara said, puzzled.
"Not much more damage you can do at this point," Ashley shrugged.
"I... I can't tell you. If- when- she wakes up I don't want to send her right back to this state if she were to find out I told you," Liara said.
"Well, she wouldn't hear it from me but all right. I respect that. She will too when she wakes up," Ashley said.
"One can only hope," Liara said sadly, turning her gaze to her former lover.
"I'm gonna go see if there's some coffee around here. You want anything?" Ashley said after a few minutes of silence.
I want my Shepard back... Liara thought morosely.
"No, thank you. I'm fine for now," Liara said.
"All right," Ashley said. The door hissed as it opened to allow her out then hissed again as it closed behind her.
Liara sighed before putting her face in her hands. Sadness enveloped her like a very thick blanket. This was all her fault. Out of so many near-death experiences, she was the cause of this one. She had promised to protect the Commander. But she'd failed. Directly.
"Goddess," she murmured softly before sitting up. She leaned her head back to stare up at the ceiling.
"Goddesses don't exist," a voice said. It caused Liara to jump badly and smack the back of her head into the wall behind her. She recognized the voice instantly and rushed to Shepard's bedside.
"Shepard? Kate?" Liara asked. Shepard didn't say anything further and Liara suspected she had just been sleep talking. Tears filled Liara's eyes and blurred her vision. She shook her head, biting back a pathetic whimper.
"I'm so so sorry, Shepard. I didn't intend on any of this to happen. Please, you have to pull through this quickly. I got you back and I wasted my second chance. I'm so sorry," Liara said, tears trailing down her cheeks. Nothing had ever prepared her for this. Nobody had told her how much seeing your loved ones vulnerable in a hospital bed would hurt. Hesitantly she reached out then slowly took Shepard's hand in hers.
Liara had often marveled over the texture of Shepard's hands. They were rough yet often had held her gently. Shepard's hands held scars and calluses from years of military life and gang life before that. Shepard had killed people with those hands yet she'd never used either one to really hurt Liara. When they'd first explored the possibilities of a 'them', Shepard had almost seemed frightened she'd inadvertently hurt Liara with her hands. Even when she'd been absolutely furious with the asari, Shepard had not used her hands to hurt Liara in any way. She had basically threatened to when her hand had risen but had not gone through on the threat.
According to Liara, Shepard would have had every right to hit her. But Shepard was too honorable for that. She'd punched that uppity reporter a couple of times in the past but she'd never hit Liara. Looking back, Liara wished she had. Maybe things would have been different if the altercation had turned physical earlier.
"I can't tell you how sorry I am. I'm not even sure a melding could properly convey it to you. I failed you in a way I promised I never would. This is all my fault," Liara said, choking back a sob as more tears fell. She wiped them away with her palms roughly as she heard footsteps coming towards the door to the private hospital room.
"Well, they say this is coffee but it doesn't look like it to me," Ashley remarked as she entered with a disposable cup. "I mean... it's blue."
Liara turned to look at the Lieutenant Commander.
"That's because it isn't. It's Caljaki. It's similar to coffee from what I've been told but it doesn't always agree with humans," Liara explained. At the asari's words Ashley wrinkled her nose while staring down at the cup.
"Eh, what's life without taking chances?" Ashley said, shrugging. She then took a sip of the blue beverage. When the liquid hit her tongue her eyes bulged and she spat out the mouthful of drink.
"Jesus Christ!" Ashley sputtered, wiping her mouth with the back of one gloved hand.
"Similar to coffee my ass. It tastes like ass," Ashley grumbled, putting the cup down on the counter nearby. "When you said it didn't agree with humans I thought you meant it would make me sick."
"I apologize. Though, technically that is a correct assumption as well. If you can get past the taste it does have a tendency to tear a human's insides up," Liara said.
"Whatever. I guess I'll have to go to the Normandy if I want coffee," Ashley said. "Has she moved or anything at all?"
"She... made a remark about how deities don't exist but I am pretty sure she was just sleep talking," Liara said, wringing her hands together.
"Wait. The Commander's an atheist?" Ashley asked. Considering how so many of the crew had religious beliefs, she was a little surprised the Commander didn't have any. She was even more surprised that it had taken her three years to figure it out. The Commander, when Ashley had confessed about her own beliefs, had avoided giving away her own beliefs. She had simply said she wasn't going to judge anyone on their beliefs.
"I... wouldn't really jump to conclusions about that. It could just be bitterness talking," Liara said, chewing on her lower lip, something she had picked up from the Commander herself.
"You two can stop talking about me as if I'm not here," Shepard spoke up from the bed, this time she definitely was not sleep talking. Both Liara and Ashley jumped badly, not expecting Shepard to be conscious much less speaking.
"Sorry, Commander," Ashley said.
"My apologies," Liara said at the same time.
"Where the fuck am I and what happened?" Shepard asked, struggling to sit up so she could get a good look at both of them.
"I do not recommend moving at this point in time," Liara said softly, though she knew it was useless.
"I'll move if I want to," Shepard replied, finally sitting up and resting against the headboard of the bed. "Now answer my questions."
"Joker brought us to Illium. I used my contacts to get you a spot at the best hospital on the planet. As for what happened..." Liara said, though her voice trailed off before she could explain how Shepard had wound up in the state she was in.
"You went completely bonkers on the Normandy, Commander. You attacked Liara and I had to step in. I uh... was apparently a little too rough and re-broke a couple of your ribs. You also popped a few stitches during the scuffle. Doc says we shouldn't have taken you from Mars so soon. Sorry, Skipper," Ashley said, filling in for Liara.
Shepard sighed softly while rubbing the back of her neck.
"Ash, can you leave for a moment?" the Commander asked. Ashley visibly hesitated. All things considered she wasn't sure if she should.
"Is that an order?" Ashley asked, stalling.
"No, Lieutenant Commander. It's a request. For now," Shepard answered.
"All right. I'll be right outside. Should probably try scrubbing that damn uh... Caljaki stuff or whatever, off of my tongue," Ashley said. She glanced at Liara for a moment before stepping out of the door. The door hissed closed behind her.