Okay I really know I'm awful for this really, really late update but I had serious writers-block and I'm still not sure how I got this one done (actually not listening to your professor talk and writing works just fine) but I hope you are still with me on this one. I want to thank you guys so much for all the reviews, alerts and favorites. Special thanks goes out to Alex! Thank you for reading and giving me constructive help and encouraging me to write on! :)
Disclaimer: Don't own anything Glee related.
She woke up to the smell of coffee. Sunlight was shining through the window warming her pale face. She got up yawning. After a quick shower she got dressed and made her way into the kitchen. Danny was sitting at the table sipping his coffee and reading the newspaper. She supposed he was waiting for her to get up. He did promise her a talk.
Slowly Brittany got in the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. She felt his eyes on her and decided to sit at the table opposite of him. He put the newspaper away and looked her in the eye.
"Okay first of all I don't know everything. I can only tell you as much as people told me or I could gather from police files I had access to. You know being your psychiatrist and all." The blonde nodded.
"Tell me everything you know Danny." Her eyes were focused on him. He couldn't read her as much as he wanted to at that moment. Her blue eyes were stormy and held so many feelings. Determination, fear, relief and something he couldn't put his finger on.
He had thought much about this moment since Brittany confronted him two weeks ago. At first he thought he couldn't tell her everything. Too afraid that the information was too much for her to handle at the moment. Now sitting across from her he knew he had to tell her. Of course there was a chance of a serious break down but he had to take it. He couldn't risk that she got better and somehow acquires this information from some other source. It would not only destroy all the trust they build up these past months but would risk everything she had achieved until then. He had to hope that she could deal with what he was about to tell her. He took a deep breath.
"Okay what do you want me to tell you first?" The blondes mind started racing. Pictures flashed in front of her. She saw the limp bodies of her fellow dancers in front of her. Mike trying to save her and Kyle with madness in his eyes she had never seen before in another human being.
Every fiber of her being told her to ask what happened to Kyle. It was a survival instinct that told her to get more information about the whereabouts of the man who tortured body and soul. Still there was another part of her that wanted to know what happened to the rest of her friends. To Mike. Every time she thought about the people there who witnessed everything the shame started to surface again. This however did not change the fact that they were his friends and somewhere she still felt responsible for what happened to them.
"What happened to the others?" it was a quick decision. It was croaked out due to the lump that involuntarily built up in her throat.
"From what I found out after he raped you he shot Mike. Luckily the police arrived fast enough to catch him." Suddenly all air was pushed out of her lungs and Brittany gasped for air. A look at the face of the girl before him made Danny realize what implication his last statement held.
"He is alive Brittany. Oh my god I'm sorry. I should have clarified that. He was shot but luckily someone called the police after they heard someone shooting so they came in time to get him to the hospital and tend to his wounds. Unfortunately the dancer he shot at the beginning where dead before the paramedics got to them. I'm sorry. " His eyes were still trained on the blonde in front of him. He tried to gauge her reaction and see any signs of her breaking down.
Her eyes glistened with unshead tears and her mouth morphed into a sad smile. He was surprised to say the least. She took this information rather well.
"I'm so glad the rest got away." whispered Brittany more to herself than to Danny. "Are you okay?" it wasn't really about her general well being. It asked for more. Can you go on? Do you feel this is too much? It was Danny's way of giving her the chance to back out. Or rather his try to make her. He really hoped he could keep the rest to himself for a bit longer. Give the blue-eyed dance a little bit more time to heal. "No Danny. You promised you would tell me everything today. I won't back down on this one!" she stopped her mini rant for a second. When she spoke again her voice lost it's sharp edge and she said softly "Please. I need to know." It sounded almost pleading. That's when Danny realized what he missed earlier. That something in the blonde's eyes. She was pleading with him to tell her everything but more than ever she was pleading for him to help her get a little bit closure on the topic. That's what her eyes craved. Closure. Leaving all of it behind her and pick up her life again. She wanted to leave the old her behind. Like a caterpillar wants to get into his cocoon to be able to morph into a butterfly and leave his own self behind and soar into new heights. He understood and he felt for her. "You won't like what I'm going to say next," said Danny, "you have to promise me to stay calm okay? Never forget that you are save now."
The phone rang and the young Latina lying on the couch shot up to get it. Every time the phone was ringing she hoped desperately to hear Brittany's voice on the other end of the phone.
"Hello? Who is this?" "Santana this is Danny. I need you to come to my place. Britt needs your help I..." She hung up before he even got to tell her what was wrong. She grabbed her jacket the keys and sprinted out of the door. She contemplated calling Quinn but decided against it. Perhaps it was nothing and she didn't want her friend to feel on edge the whole time. She tried to hail a cab but seeing that the world seemed to have conspired against her and no cab was stopping at her frantic waves she decided to run over to Danny's. She sprinted through the streets, every worst case scenario of what could have happened or what Brittany might say to her was going through her head. After 30 minutes of rushing through the streets she came to a stop in front of the apartment building. She rang the bell and Danny buzzed her in immediately. Instead of waiting for the elevator she took the seemingly endless flights up the the sixth floor in record time and stood breathing hard in front of Danny's apartment door. She stepped out of the house in gray sweatpants and had pulled her jacket over a black tank top. Her hair was disheveled from running around and a thin layer of sweat covered her whole body. Santana nervously raised her fist and knocked on the door. She was greeted by Danny. Before the man could ask her in she stormed in the apartment looking for Brittany. Throughout her rush in the city she had been afraid the blonde wanted to tell her that she needed to get away and they couldn't see each other anymore. But now in the apartment she realized her worst fear was to see the blonde broken again. To see that therapy was not working. Sure her heart would break if her blue eyed girlfriend broke it off but it would be even worse if Brittany was unhappy and broken. As if her heart broke into a millions of small shards that stuck in her guts and made her feel as if all her organs were on fire. She loved her enough to let her go if that is what she needed to do. But until then she would love her and give everything she could to help her get better and happy again. It was sappy but the truth.
"What happened? Is Britt okay?" she shot her questions like a machine gun. "Calm down Santana. Wait did you run the whole way here?" Danny was to observant to miss her state. Though he wondered it was a twenty minute drive here and he was sure he called her only thirty minutes ago. "Yeah I couldn't get a cab in time. So spill it where is she? Or better what happened?" Santana was getting restless and her legs were killing her. She had pushed herself more than once over the limit while running here.
"When she came here she had a condition. I had to promised her that I would tell her everything that happened after she passed out in the studio. And well I have to tell her about kyle as well." Santana looked curious at him. "Why should that be a problem?", she asked "He got what he deserved thirty years in jail." Danny was now playing with the hem of his shirt. "What are you not telling me Danny? More precisely what have you told Britt?"
"I told her the truth." "Which is?" "His lawyers have filed an appeal against the decision at first instance. They try to get him out stating he was non compos mentis or certifiably insane to get him into a mental facility. If he is clever enough and he behaves in there he can get out of there in about four years on good conduct." Santana was stunned. They wanted to let this monster roam these streets again? That he was mad should be no secret since he killed several people and raped her girlfriend. Her blood was boiling at this point. But she knew she couldn't let her rage take over. Danny had told Brittany what he had just told her which meant the blonde must be in bad shape.
"Where is she?" said Santana and looked at Danny. He looked relived that she caught on and was offering her help. Not that he ever thought she wouldn't. He pointed to the guest bedroom Brittany had locked herself into. The brunette made her way over and gently knocked on the door. When she tried the handle and found the door locked she tried to coax the blonde out of the room "Britt please open up. Come on Britt Britt." Danny looked at her trying to coax her out but failed just like he had. For a minute he thought about breaking down the door but knew that would be a bad idea. Brittany had taken refuge in her personal and private place. She was here for a violation of her most personal space so he knew he couldn't just do that to her. He was now counting on Santana to find a better solution. He was worried because Brittany didn't get to really address her new fear of being touched so he hoped Santana would be able to get through to her without it.
Santana in the meantime proceeded to press her ear against the door to at least get a sign that the blonde was alive. When she concentrated hard on the sounds behind the door and the only other thing she could her was her heart beating against her chest she heard Brittany. More accurately Brittany's muffled sobs. That's when she knew that she wouldn't get her to open the door. She had to find another way into the room. It wasn't even a real conscious decision it was in her blood. Britt was in trouble so she had to go there to make it better. She turned to Danny "Is there a window near the one in Britt's room?" "Yeah I have a small bathroom window that's pretty much next to it." Danny answered before his mind up caught up to his mouth. "Santana don't tell me you want to climb over there." The Latina was already on her way into the bathroom. "Santana this is madness! If you slip you're dead. This is the sixth floor!" Danny shouted running after her. Santana smirked "Madness? This is Santana! Sorry Danny couldn't let the opportunity slip to say that." She was already in front of the small window. Her face was now serious again. "I don't really have a choice. Britt needs me and this is the fastest way I can get in there." "But what will you do when the window is closed?" "Well I trust B to open the window when I knock. I mean have you ever heard that when the prince was at her tower Rapunzel didn't let her hair down?" And with that she opened the window and looked around. Though the window really was narrow she would be able to climb though it. The tricky part was to find a foothold on the facade of the building. It was a pretty old building with a fancy balustrade. The Latina tried to put her foot on there but slipped time and again. She realized she wouldn't make it this way. One after another were her shoes and socks thrown into the bathroom. With her bare feed it was a lot easier to get a hold. She slowly climbed out of the window and climbed over the balustrade. The window to Brittany's room was just about three meters away but she would lie if she said the journey wasn't hard. At one point she lost her balance and for a second she thought she was a goner but she managed to catch her balance. A close call. With his head out of the window Danny tried to get her in again "Santana come in again this is too dangerous. Don't be ridiculous." "I'm not ridiculous Danny. Britt needs my help now and if I have to climb into her freaking room on the fucking sixth floor then I'm gonna do just that." She took two quick steps and made it to the other window. And of course it was locked.
Brittany heard knocking. She thought it was the door so she just let it go and continued to cry into her pillow. But the knocking continued. She soon realized it was coming from her window. Which was curious because her room was on the sixth floor. She raised her head from her pillow to look what was causing these knocking noises and almost fell out of bed when she saw dark hair and eyes behind the window. "Britt please open up the window. It's really cold up here." Brittany immediately got up to open the window. She didn't really want company right now but the thought of Santana falling sixth floors down on rock hard concrete was too scary. As soon as Santana's feet touched the safety of her room she got back to her bed and buried her head into the pillows.
Santana was catching her breath. Her heart was beating hard and really fast. The danger she was in only caught up to her now. After she composed herself and took some deep breaths she focused her attention on the blue eyed blonde currently buried in huge pillows. The room she was in was rather small. Yellowish walls, a little desk and the bed Brittany was occupying.
"Are you gonna hide there forever?" No reaction. "Listen I'm staying in this room until you talk to me." With that said the Latina sat down on the floor. Minutes or maybe some hours late? She really couldn't tell the blonde looked up from her pillow and saw Santana sitting on the floor looking at her. "Ready to talk yet? I know what's going on Britt. You can trust me if you want to talk about it and if you are worried about me touching you or anything I won't. Don't worry." Brittany knew Santana wouldn't go unless they at least talked for a bit. So reluctantly she moved herself into a sitting position. Her eyes were red and puffy and tear tracks were visible on her pale face. None the less she was breathtaking in Santana's eyes. "What do you want me to tell you? What do you want from me?" said Brittany and she sounded offended. "I want nothing I just think you really need to talk about the things going on in that pretty little head of yours. I know I will never ever be able to feel what you must be feeling at the prospect of Kyle returning in only four years and I won't pretend I do. But seeing you hear crying and locked up in a room it can't be good and best friends talk about stuff that's hard for them don't they?" Santana was trying to lighten the mood a little at least. "I'm going to be fine. I just need a second to digest this." It's a blatant lie and both of them know that the other knows. Santana can practically hear the fear and terror in her voice. "Britt I've known you for quiet some time now and I can tell when you are lying. Stop lying to me. Be honest with me. Stop being such a coward and just say what's really going on here." Santana knew Brittany and that was why she had to be harsher. Brittany had built many walls over the time she has known her and playing things down was one of the most obvious ones. Danny said that her emotions were heightened because she was for months without them so she would use this to her advantage to get the blonde to open up. She had to strike where it hurt and get her mad. And let's face it Santana is a bitch. That was home turf for her. And as always her magic worked. "What did you just say?", Brittany sounded seriously pissed off, "I can't believe you would say that to me. I thought you were with me on this. I thought you got me. Tell me Santana how would you feel if some guy came into the office shoot your colleagues and fucked you right on your desk while the others are watching? I'm peachy, just peachy. When I see him at the groceries in four years it will be a big happy reunion. All is well." Brittany was on the verge of hysterical. She was screaming and crying at the same time. "It's normal to kill people right? Why shouldn't he be locked up? Let's throw him a big party to celebrate." She was now pacing the room. "How can they even consider to let him out after four years. He is dangerous. He is a threat to people. No one will be able to sleep peaceful at night knowing that this guy is out there. How..." Santana cut in and stopped the blondes outburst. She knew it was harsh but it had to be done. "Cut the crap Brittany. Tell me who really is afraid! Tell who can't sleep at night! Who is terrified!"
"Wha .. What do you mean who? I just told you. You know people." Santana laughed in a high pitched mocking tone. "Come on. We both know what's really going on here. It's YOU that is terrified. It's You that couldn't sleep at night. Just admit it!" Silence filled the room. Santana watched Brittany slowly deflate. All fight seemed to leave her body. Her knees wobbled dangerously so she dot down on the floor. Her shoulders started to twitch and violent sobs shook through her body. Everything Santana said was true. She knew it wasn't even decided yet and still four years away but just the thought of him being free to do something to her again made her paralyzed with fear. She has just started recovering. It was so hard and she knew she could never do it again. She couldn't go though any of that again. She knew for sure that she would break forever if that happened. And it scared her more than anything else. Santana slowly scooted a bit closer to her girlfriend and tried to comfort her. "Shh Britt it's okay. He is not going to hurt you anymore. I mean this whole thing is not even through court yet. I bet Quinn could get us someone to fight against this appeal." the brunette said "even if he comes out he won't be allowed near you. And if he even as much as gets in a one mile radius of you I swear to got I will kill him. If that's what you need to feel safe again I'll do it. I will do anything I can to keep you safe. And believe me Quinn will be there and Danny will be there. We will all be there for you." The sobbing didn't cease but for a second Brittany looked up and their eyes locked. Santana could see a whirlwind of emotions but in that second she swore she could see something like a "Thank You. I love you." in there. Before she could even think about it, the situation was over and her girlfriend was still on the floor crying. Santana knew she told Brittany she wouldn't touch her but this was too much. She had to comfort her somehow. She wanted to hold her in her arms and ever let her go. Instead she sat somehow near her and linked their pinkies. She felt the blondes hand stiffen at the contact. Immediately Santana was afraid she had overstepped and wanted to pull away her pinky but a strong pale finger held her in place. So they sat in the room pinkies linked until Brittany had cried herself into exhaustion and sleep. When Santana was sure the blonde wouldn't wake up she carefully scooped her up in her arms, lay her down on the bed, tucked her in and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Santana tip toed out of the room and into the kitchen where Danny was already waiting for her.
"How is she?"
"She's asleep. What the hell have you been doing? I thought she wanted to stay here to get better? What about therapy? I mean I see her for the first time in fifteen days and she is crying herself to sleep." the Latina gritted through her teeth. She was so angry. Angry at the lawyers that even contemplated getting this guy out earlier. Angry at Danny because he didn't prevent Brittany's break down. But most of all she was angry at herself. Angry that all she could do is watch. She was as helpless as a new born and all she could do for months now was watching Brittany struggle and it hurt.
"Calm down Santana. She was doing just fine. She has been in therapy for fourteen days and we made great progress in such a short amount of time. I just told you before about our deal and today I had to stick to it and it didn't go well I know. But I couldn't lie to her. Think about what would have happened if she found out later on?" Santana felt a shiver running through her body thinking of an unsuspecting Brittany seeing Kyle running around at the park. "Give her some time. I will try everything in my power to help her." Santana glared at him.
"Well apparently your therapy didn't help at all. She came to you because she wanted to stop being just broken. An now look at her just where she started. And while have long got the message that you think I don't care how she is doing I have to tell you something sunshine I DO care about her. It would be really nice to just perhaps phone me and tell me that she is doing okay. I mean you can call me when you need help but you can't call me sometime else. That's just golden. I mean I'm just stupid Santana I can come and try to save the day and then I can rot at home until you need me again. Of course I'm totally cool with it." If sarcasm was a language the brunette was fluent in it. She was furious and needed and outlet for all these feelings. It wasn't that she was pissed that he called her to help. She was pissed that he couldn't call her just to give her an update on how she was doing. He should know that she would be going crazy in her apartment until she got some news. Danny was shocked to say the least. He was so engrossed in his therapy session with Brittany as well as his other patients that it never thought about contacting Santana himself. He knew he forbid the blonde to do so which didn't mean he could give her a quick update. Looking at the Latina standing in front of him he felt guilty. He knew what it was like to to wait. The fear for the worst creeping up when you are at your weakest. Without thinking he got up, moved to Santana and pulled her against his chest. At first Santana was fighting against him and thrashing about but she soon ceased all her attempts to get out of his embrace. Instead she let him hug her. Her hands grabbed his shirt and her head leaned against his chest while she was silently crying.
"I'm sorry Santana. You are right I should have called you. But she's getting there. I know it may seem like nothing has changed but you have to believe me if I say she really opened up and we made real progress. I'm confident she will make it in time. Just give her more time. And don't be mad at her for not contacting you. I kind of banned her from doing so. And before you scream at me hear me out." Santana already looked up from his chest, mouth half open and a list of her finest Spanish expletives at the tip of her tongue. Though this time she chose to shut her mouth and let him finish. Her head again leaning against his broad chest.
"I didn't want Brittany to worry about you and your relationship. She should focus on herself not on the fact that therapy might or might not put strain on your relationship. Don't you think so too?" he asked her and when he felt her nod he continued, "I thought you would get what I intended."
Santana started to pull away from the hug. She dried the last of her tears with the sleeve of her jacket. "How long do you need for me to be out of the picture?" her voice was hoarse from all the crying. "Santana you don't have to be out of the picture I just wanted her to be able to talk about everything without any distractions. I wanted her to be stable before she thought about anything else." Santana rolled her eyes.
"I'm not stupid I got that much. So how much time do you think will she need before she can go back to her daily life?" Until she can come home. Danny was fascinated by this small Latina before him. Time and time again she was there whenever she was called doing almost anything for Brittany. She put up with everything that was asked of her just as long as she thought it would help her girlfriend. Even if it hurt her in the process. He was pretty sure if he could convincingly convey her that her moving was best for Brittany she would pack and leave the same night. Just so that the blue eyed blonde can be happy again. Sure she was small but she carried true greatness and loyalty within her. Never had he seen someone so willing to sacrifice their everything for another person.
"Give her about two months. I know this might seem like a long time but I want to take baby steps and really work with her. I don't to just paint over her wounds. Paint crumbles and leaves one lost again. I want to try to mend what's broken or at least make her be able to live with the things she can't get back no matter how hard she tries." Santana gave him a small smile and a nod. She knew Brittany was in good hands. Without another word she grabbed a piece of paper and a pen lying around and wrote something down. She slowly tip toed into Brittany's room again to watch her sleep for a minute. She looked as if she slept peaceful. The brunette put the the note she had written next to the sleeping blonde and gave her a soft kiss on the head before she turned around and walked out of the room.
Brittany woke up with a start. The last thing she remembers is Santana coming in from the window, them fighting and her breaking down on the floor. She only remembers getting really tired and closing her eyes. Santana must have carried her over while she was sleeping. The blonde lays back on her pillow only to feel something against the side of her face. It's a piece of paper. She immediately recognizes Santana's handwriting.
Take your time. I'm waiting at home. Always. - S
A/N: Okay this is my comeback. I'm not too sure about this one but I kind of had to get something out there. Feel free to review or send a PM! :)