Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

At last! This is the final chapter! I'm glad I've come to an end. It was kind of a struggle getting here, but there it is. And I believe I made the deadline too :D. Though this one's done, you guys should check out other stories I wrote!

Replacement

Slowly Snape's vision started to come back to him. He blinked a few times and saw the turtle's shocked face hovering close over him. He didn't have the strength to yell for her to get away from him.

"What…what happened?" he moaned.

"You…foolishly tried to get rid of your cat suit remember?"

"Right," Snape agreed as he suddenly remembered. "Did it work?"

At that, Monna quirked a nervous expression. "Well…not exactly."

"What?"

"I'd say, you're much more ready now to take on my job."

"WHAT!"

Snape made to push himself up to his feet, but noticed the odd contortion of his body. He looked down and gasped. His body had shrunk and was covered in black fur. He didn't have hands anymore, he had paws. Snape rolled over and found himself on all fours.

"This can't be! NO!"

He ran his paws across his face, but found that it was still human. The only thing that had altered was his body from his neck down.

"I don't believe this!" Snape cried.

"Neither do I," said Monna. "You're even uglier than before."

Snape hissed and drew up his back.

"I've got to find some way out of this."

"How? You can't even hold a wand."

Snape was ready to strike her down, but then he heard a crack. Not too far away from them was Gollin, along with Voldemort.

"Hide!" Snape hissed at Monna.

They quickly ducked into some bushes just as Gollin and Voldemort strolled near.

"I tell you," Gollin was crying in a shaky voice. "Severus has gone mad! He tried to kill me. Me! Attacking like an animal. Like a cat!"

From behind the bushes, Snape narrowed his eyes.

"Should have killed him when I had the chance," he muttered.

Voldemort was observing Gollin curiously. Then his focus shifted to the area around them.

"He's not here now Gollin," he said in his snake like voice. "But if he's as mad as you say he is, it's probably best he doesn't return to us."

"And if he does?" Gollin asked curiously.

"He'll have to be, taken care of," he answered with a sneer. At that, Gollin gave a light smile.
"Yes my lord."

Voldemort began to walk away with Gollin trailing behind like a happy little puppy.

"And, if he does come back, may I be the one to kill him?"

With the sound of another crack, they were gone. Snape and Monna came out of hiding.

"That good for nothing traitor!" Snape hissed. "Should have killed him."

"Never mind him," said Monna. "What about you? What about your master. He's out to kill you now."

"He's not my master. Not anymore."

"So you're not going back to him?"

"No," he answered with a sigh. "I can't now. My time as a traitorous death eater is over. And even if I could go back to being human and flee the country, odds are, they'd find me."

"So…what are you going to do?"

Snape twitched his tail as he thought long and hard. After several minutes, he sighed.

Hermione sat upon her log, thinking about what had just occurred. She had just experienced what Snape had gone through. She just could not believe that she had died, and that Snape was somehow able to bring her back to life. She brushed a finger to her lip, certain there had been a kiss between them, but at the same time she wasn't sure.

"I suppose I'd better do as he said. I'll find Harry and Ron and…Oh, what'll happen now?"

She heard the padding of something walking up to her. She turned and gasped as she saw the strange human headed cat heading her way with a turtle next to him.

"Exactly what I was wondering Miss Granger. At least about myself."

"Oh my! What happened to you?"

"His own foolishness," Monna explained. "He tried to get rid of the cat ears and everything else. This is the result."

"Oh my," Hermione cried as she gazed down at the even more cat like Snape. She could hardly believe that he was almost all cat now, except for his head. "Would you like me to try and undo it professor?"

"As much as I'd hate to risk asking you for help, I'd have to say no."

"What?"

"As freakish as I look, I'm afraid it will be too much of a risk if anyone, least of all you tried to change me back. I could lose my head! My human head. Regardless of how bad it looks on this cat body, I prefer to keep some part of me that's human. "

"I understand."

"Besides, I'm a wanted man, by the Dark Lord and aurors."

"So what will you do now?" Hermione asked tentatively.

"Well, I suppose that's where you come in," Snape sighed. His tail swished back and forth in anger and humiliation.

"Me?"

"Yes you. Monna has told me she can no longer do the job, being as she's no longer a cat. Obviously I can no longer be a professor, death eater or wizard,…so I suppose, I'll have to be a guardian."

"A…guardian?"

"Your guardian Miss Granger. Monna's job was to be an annoying conscious to wizards, however, you yourself is annoying enough that you don't really need me."

Hermione frowned, but a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

"Well, whether that's true or not, I'd never turn down the opportunity to help a feline in distress."

She reached down and pulled Snape into her arms.

"Unhand me you insufferable Know-it-all or else I will—"

"What? Take points? Sign me up for detention?" she chided. Snape made to struggle, but Hermione quickly settled him by massaging him along his back. He tried hard to fight against her soothing touch, but in the end, he ended up purring and falling into a relaxed state.

"I'll take good care of you," Hermione whispered.

"I don't need you to take care of me. All I need you to do is..provide me with a saucer of warm milk."

"I think that can be arranged."

Hermione made her way towards the castle with Snape in her arms. Their conflict had been resolved. Monna watched them go, feeling left out and forgotten.

"Of all the nerve," she said angrily. "How does he expect to learn to be a guardian without me. Hey! Wait for me you—"

Monna was interrupted as she suddenly found herself being lifted into the air. She was turned around and found herself facing a grinning Gollin.

"Well, if I can't get rid of that mad Snape character, I can at least get rid of his turtle."

"No…wait no!" Monna shouted. But Gollin wasn't listening. He carried her along with him.

In the days that passed, Voldemort had finally been defeated by Harry Potter. Hermione had received a new secret protector who she was taking good care of, even though he wasn't fully acting like a protector. He was more like the professor he had been at Hogwarts, always criticizing her. Neither Ron nor Harry divulged the secret of what had happened to Snape. He'd become Monna's replacement.

As for Monna, she had become a delicious turtle soup for Gollin. The only reminder that she had ever been around, was her gray shell which had been nailed to the wall in Gollin's home.

The End.

Alls well that ends well. Snape became somewhat a cat, and Monna became lunch. I was ready to get rid of that cat. She was annoying me. I'm glad I'm done with this challenge. It went in such a wild direction that I just….well…I took it places and now I'm glad I'm done. Still, I liked going in odd, quirky directions. I've never done that before and I think I probably will write other humiliating, uncomfortable or odd stories in the HP universe. I've always written stories for it in a serious manner. Taking a direction like this has made me interested in writing fics for HP again.

I completed the dare and used all the prompts.