The next time she woke up she jumped when she saw Ashley staring at her, almost lost in thought.
"What is it, LC?" Shepard asked, rubbing her neck. She glanced around but didn't find any sign of Liara. Must've gone to get something to eat... don't blame her.
Her words seemed to jerk Ashley out of her reverie. She offered a crisp salute out of pure second nature.
"Sorry, sir. I was just thinking... is this how it felt for you to look at me when I was laid up in the hospital?" asked Ashley.
"Probably. What's it feel like?"
"Hurts... I can't stand just sitting by and not being able to help."
"Yeah, that's about how it felt for me. What was worse was being told I was hindering things by constantly checking in. Like they thought I was keeping you from healing just by standing there. If Chakwas hadn't been there, I probably would've lost it."
"Nahh. Y'never had it, Commander," Ashley said, a grin spreading on her face.
"Oh ha ha. I get it. Insult the Commander time," Shepard said, smirking back.
"Oh, I was not expecting you to be awake. I'm afraid I didn't get you anything to eat," Liara's voice broke through the playful banter.
"I'm not all that hungry anyways, Liara," Shepard said gently.
"Shit, I am! Whatcha get and please tell me it's something humans can stand," Ashley cut in.
"It should be quite palatable to humans, actually. It's simply bread and oatmeal along with a few fried eggs," Liara explained, setting the silver tray down on the roll-away table near Shepard's bed.
"What kind of eggs?" Ashley asked slowly, gaze on the tray as if it might attack her.
"Looks like chicken," Shepard said from her spot.
" Everything looks like chicken. Garrus looks like a chicken," Ashley answered, folding her arms across her chest, still eying the eggs with apprehension.
Shepard laughed softly then groaned and grabbed at her middle.
"Ugh, don't make me laugh just yet," Shepard said.
"They are chicken, yes," Liara said.
"Awesome. I'll have a couple. You can keep the uh... oatmeal and bread," Ashley said.
Shepard glanced down at her arms which were still heavily bandaged.
"Where's my omni-tool?" she asked.
"We took it off of you a couple weeks ago. Do you require it for something?" Liara answered, pushing a few eggs onto a spare plate for Ashley.
"Just bored. Was going to check the extranet," Shepard said, shrugging her shoulders.
"You can use mine," Ashley said, removing a band from her arm.
"Thanks," Shepard said, sliding it gingerly on her own then calling it up.
While Liara and Ashley ate, Shepard checked up on things in the galaxy.
"When I get out of here I think I'm gonna visit Palaven," Shepard mused.
"You're not going to help Zaeed or Jack with the colonies?" Liara asked.
"Not right away. If they need me, they can ask. But the turians didn't forget Earth, so I'm not going to forget Palaven," Shepard said. Plus... I have to show I'm not self-absorbed and see how Garrus is... how he's dealing with everything and being away from Tali...
"Don't forget you also have the krogan to deal with. And we have to figure out who will be the new Human Councilor. If there's even going to be a Council again. Not to mention we have to figure out the root of the Cerberus problem. And we thought once the Reapers were done for we'd get a break," Ashley said sarcastically before digging in to her eggs.
"I also have to drop by Earth for a bit. I'm sure Hackett will want to see me fit as a fiddle and in person sooner rather than later," Shepard pointed out.
"Do you even remember how to put on your dress blues?" Ashley teased, since for the past few months Shepard had either worn her armor, her N7 hoodie, or hospital clothes.
"Hey! Hey! When I had the meeting with the Primarch and the Dalatrass and Wrex I wore my dress blues," Shepard argued, poking out her lower lip in a slight pout.
I helped you put them on, Shepard. So no, you don't remember how... Liara thought. She didn't voice the words, as it might cause Ashley to grill them about why Liara would help the Commander get dressed. Which we'd either have to lie or tell the truth... and I don't think Shepard wants to lie to her second-in-command.
" That hardly counts," Ashley said. "You wore them for like five minutes, I'm told. Then you took them right back off."
And when was the last time you wore dress blues, Lieutenant Commander? Liara thought but didn't say, for her lover's sake. She surprised herself with the venom that was in her mental voice.
"Fair point, LC. Fair point," Shepard conceded.
It was silence while everyone did their own thing; Ashley and Liara finished eating breakfast while Shepard continued surfing through the extranet.
"How are we feeling?" asked a doctor as she made her way into the room. Shepard noticed she wore a similar labcoat she had seen Liara in many times before.
"I want out of here. I'm goin' stir-crazy," Shepard said.
"I can relate to that," Ashley remarked after swallowing her last bite of eggs.
"Unfortunately we don't quite feel comfortable in letting you go just yet. Especially since you just got here. Of course, we can't legally hold you here so you can sign out AMA if you really feel like you need out," the doctor said.
"Er... AMA?" Shepard asked, unfamiliar with the term.
"Against Medical Advice," Liara piped up from her spot in the corner. She took another bite of her oatmeal.
"Well, that depends... am I going to die if I leave now?" Shepard asked.
"Nothing that drastic. Your healing might be even slower if you leave but you certainly won't perish," the doctor answered.
At the news, Shepard slid out of the bed.
"Shepard!" Liara said, putting her bowl down and getting to her feet.
"I'm fine. I'm pretty sure I can walk. I can stand on my own two feet. I need to get to Palaven. The galaxy isn't going to wait on me. I found that out before when I was dead for two years. I united the galaxy, but we're not done working together yet," Shepard said, though she wasn't exactly steady on her feet.
Even though she knew Shepard hadn't meant anything by it, a glimmer of hurt could be seen in Liara's eyes. Ashley clenched her jaw as well at the words. They were both guilty of trying to make their lives work when Shepard 'died'.
"I really wouldn't recommend trying to walk right now..." the doctor said but it was too late. Shepard tested her ability to walk but found her legs not wanting to cooperate. Her knees stiffened and she nearly crumpled to the floor.
Quickly, both Ashley and Liara moved forward to catch her.
"If you're not going to at least stay here in bed you should use a cane," Liara pleaded with the Commander.
"Commander Shepard doesn't use canes."
"Commander Shepard will use a cane if Commander Shepard wants to walk without using us as crutches!" Ashley said.
"But..." Shepard began to protest.
"No ifs, ands, or buts about it, Shepard," Ashley said, grunting under the strain. Shepard was slightly heavier thanks to the modifications given to her by Cerberus.
The doctor disappeared from the room for a second before returning. She held up the requested cane, which by all accounts looked like a normal cane set up for a human's hand. It was made of metal; what kind Shepard didn't know. She cringed mentally before reaching out and taking it. Eventually she was steady once more without Ashley and Liara's help.
"I look like a moron," Shepard lamented.
"You look like you're injured; which you are. Suck it up, Commander," Ashley said.
"Fine. But if Garrus makes fun of me..." Shepard didn't finish her threat.
"Yes, yes. I'm sure the big chicken will make fun of his favorite Commander," Ashley said, nodding sagely.
"And here is the paperwork, so to speak," the doctor said, holding out a datapad. Shepard leaned up against the wall then took the datapad before signing her name. She then handed it back.
"All right. You're free to go, Commander. Don't be afraid to come back if you need to," the doctor said after checking the signature to make sure the Commander had signed in the correct place.
"Right," Shepard said. She didn't voice the fact that she felt she had seen enough of Illium's most illustrious hospital for a lifetime (or two). She limped her way out of the room, pausing for a second when she saw how long the hallway was. She pushed on, however.
By the time she made it back to the spaceport where the Normandy was docked, her legs felt like they were on fire. Ashley and Liara could see Shepard's face set in a semi-permanent grimace from the pain but neither made mention of it to the Commander.
"Hey, Joker," Shepard said as she limped inside.
"Hey Comm- What the hell? What are you doing here?" Joker said, swiveling around in his chair. His gaze was drawn to the cane the woman held. "Hah, was wondering when you'd find a stick to beat people with!"
"Fits perfectly in my hand and you'll find out how much it hurts here in a second if you don't hush," Shepard said, highly self-conscious over the use of the walking implement.
"Right. Anyways... what's up? Shouldn't you still be in bed?" Joker asked.
"Oi, if you can get around so can I. I need you to set a course for Palaven," Shepard said, somewhat defensively.
"I guess you took it to heart when I told Ash to tell you not to get fat on hospital food. Setting course now, Commander. By the way, how does it feel trying to walk when your body doesn't want to?" Joker asked, spinning back around in his seat to input the coordinates for Palaven.
"Well, I would say you have no idea how much it hurts, but I'm pretty sure you do. Let's just say... I hope I never have to deal with this again," Shepard answered.
"Yeah, no kidding. Anyways, course set. You should go check on Miranda. She was mumbling to herself when she got back from making a trip to an information broker, looked pretty upset," Joker said.
"Right," Shepard said, nodding.
Ashley had gone off to the armory to check on their supplies. Liara met Shepard at the elevator.
"I really wish you had listened to the doctor. Your body needs to heal. It isn't ready to go all across the galaxy," Liara said, stepping in to the lift with the Commander.
"My body hasn't been ready for a lot of things but I've forced it to press on. What's one more thing?" Shepard said, shrugging. She rested both hands on the cane, leaning on it.
"As you humans say, the straw that breaks the camel's back," Liara said.
"Horse shit. I was temporarily paralyzed in one leg back in basic and I still managed to get to camp even though my body protested every step of the way. This is nothing. I'm not paralyzed. I can do this," Shepard said, glancing over at the asari.
"All right. But I can't promise I won't bring you right back to Illium if something happens later on and you get injured again. I hope you understand," Liara said, chewing on her lower lip.
"I wouldn't expect anything different from you," Shepard said. She leaned over to gently kiss Liara's cheek. "I love you. I know you're only trying to help and protect me. But less mother hen and more supporting girlfriend, please."
Liara frowned slightly at Shepard's words before nodding. She knew what it was like to be stifled by people who cared about you. She had always told herself she'd never go down that road with someone she loved, be it partner or child.
"All right," she finally said before the doors slid open to the Crew Deck.
"I will be in my office," Liara said needlessly before heading out. Shepard stood just outside of the elevator, watching Liara walk away. She smiled a little to herself before making her way to the lounge. She peeked in but didn't see a sign of Miranda. She tried the observation deck next. No Miranda. She then made her way to the crew sleeping quarters as a last ditch effort. She tilted her head when she found the former Cerberus operative asleep at the table situated in the corner of the room.
With a soft smile on her face, the Commander moved forward towards the woman. She stopped dead when, supposedly in her sleep, Miranda withdrew her pistol from her side and pointed it at the Commander.
"That's the second time someone has done that in the past week! Miranda, it's me," Shepard said.
"So it is," the Australian remarked, putting the pistol away.
"Don't tell me you're mad at me too," Shepard said, exhaling a breath she didn't know she was holding.
"If I was, you'd know," Miranda said, sitting up fully then turning slightly to face the Commander.
Shepard frowned but then went to take the seat opposite the woman.
"Joker said you were talking to yourself when you came back on board. Something happen on Illium you wish to share with the class?" Shepard asked, resting her cane up against the wall behind her.
"Nothing too terribly important. Just trying to track down more information about our former employer. He wasn't just studying husks and Reaper tech, y'know," Miranda said, picking up the datapad she had put down when she fell asleep.
"Yeah, pretty sure that wasn't his only focus. What did you find out?" Shepard asked, leaning her elbows on the table.
"As I said, nothing too terribly important. He seemed to be investing in the usual things you'd expect someone like him to invest in during a war. Medicine, weaponry, that sort of thing. None of which helps us in figuring out why Cerberus seems to be acting rogue now that he's dead. I haven't found a single scrap of information as to what he told them to do in case he was killed," Miranda said then shook her head helplessly. She scratched at the base of her throat.
"Medicine? Like... Lazarus Project type medicine research?" Shepard asked.
"Somewhat. Admittedly, the stuff he was investing in could be used to help people with less than stellar use of their bodies. Such as yourself or Mr. Moreau. However, it was and still is all highly experimental," Miranda answered.
"Why, Ms. Lawson you almost make it seem like what you did to me wasn't highly experimental," Shepard said, leaning back and widening her eyes a little bit in mock surprise.
"Touché, Shepard," Miranda said.
"Besides medicine, what's this about weaponry? Anything we can use?" Shepard asked.
"We could, if we had the data. But hell, Shepard, I don't even know what the weapons are or if they're any better than what you already have. At this point I don't think such information is worth it. The only thing I'm focusing in on is what plans the Illusive Man had and what instructions he gave to the rest of Cerberus in case of his demise. The way he structured things... well, normally cells could not act on their own very well without him constantly checking in. Something changed. I intend to figure out what that something is."
"No kidding... We'll figure it out. You keep going at it. And... try not to fall asleep at the table too much. It's murder on your back," Shepard said.
"Personal experience, Shepard?"
"Let's just say before you and I met I often found myself falling asleep at my desk while chasing Saren."
"Ah, yes. Luckily you took to falling asleep in bed a lot more when we were going after the Collectors," Miranda said. Shepard tilted her head a little to the side.
"Were you spying on me, Miranda?"
"Spying? No. Well, maybe. Depending on your definition. The Illusive Man asked me to keep an eye on you, including your sleep cycles. He wanted to make sure you did actually sleep like a normal human being should be doing. You needed to be in top form and to do that you needed proper sleep."
"Right. And now it has come full circle with me making sure you're sleeping like a normal human being," Shepard said, folding her arms across her chest before leaning back.
"Ah, but remember, Shepard, I'm not normal."
"No one on this ship is normal or average. But you know what I meant. I need you sleeping well and regularly if we're going to figure out what Cerberus is up to and put a stop to it."
"Very well, Shepard. You made your point. I will respect your orders."
"That wasn't an order, Miranda. It was a request, from a friend who cares about you. We've been through too much together for you to get laid up by lack of sleep."
She considers me a friend? Why didn't I pick that up before? Miranda thought.
"You're too kind, Commander. But don't worry about me. I can run for days without fatigue affecting my performance," Miranda said, trying to stifle any warm feelings she might have over the thought that she had Shepard as a friend.
"Don't care. Get some real rest. Please," Shepard said. Hazel eyes were filled with true concern for the former Cerberus operative. Miranda had always known the Commander was fiercely protective of her crew and her ship. It was just... odd to know that the Commander counted her under crew.
"Of course, Shepard," Miranda finally relented.
"Thanks. I'll leave you to it. Remember: Sleep," Shepard said, getting to her feet.
She turned to head out the door when she felt a hand on her wrist. She paused then glanced over at Miranda.
"I just wanted to say... thank you. Not a lot of people can truthfully say that Commander Shepard is their friend," Miranda said.
"Don't thank me. I've lost a few friends along the way so I hardly think it's a wise career move to be my friend," Shepard said. Miranda stifled the smile that wanted to form on her face. And just like that the Commander had hidden behind her mask.
"As you wish, Commander," Miranda said, a bit of her amusement leaking into her voice. She released the Commander's wrist.