I went into the big red unguarded command tent to see Ajihad and his daughter and Eragon and Arya and some guy huddled around the middle table. Saphira's head poked through a flap in the back.

I tried my best at being courteous and said, "Hi. Watcha doin'?"

They all looked up. "Took you a while," Eragon muttered. His face was still a bit red.

"Yeah. That was because I was too busy watching Angela be angry at you. That was interesting. Say, your cheek is still red. Does it still hurt?"

He jumped. "You- you saw that?" he asked nervously. Darn it, I should've taped him getting slapped and put it on Youtube. Where were all the video cameras when I needed them? Oh well, too late.

"Yeah. But seriously, get on with it."

Ajihad interrupted us. "We need you to kill someone." He sounded extremely tired for some reason, which was probably why he was being so blunt all of a sudden.

"Don't you have any trained assassins anywhere?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Assassination is a dirty tactic; we never thought we would use it," the random guy explained. "It was Pigeon who suggested it."

"So, let me get this straight: you want an untrained talkative fifteen-year old girl to infiltrate a camp of around a hundred thousand trained soldiers and kill someone who I'm guessing is extremely important? And you want that untrained talkative fifteen-year old girl to get past all of the soldiers and all of the magicians? Oh, and you're doing this on the recommendation of another fifteen-year old who also just got here?"

Ajihad shifted uncomfortably. "Yes."

"Fabulous!" I said. "Who do you want me to kill? The boss? Galby? Shruikan? The whole army?"

"The general," Arya said quietly.

"Ah, fudge. Isn't he the guy at the very top?"

"Yes," Eragon muttered.

"Great. You suck, you know that? Do you know how bad that camp is gonna smell? Seriously, this place smells bad enough, and that camp has about three times as many people as this one! Geez, if somebody doesn't kill me, the smell will." In truth, I actually was a bit scared (miracle!), but it probably wouldn't be too bad.

"Do you need anything for the... job?" asked Ajihad, still sounding and looking about as tired as anyone could. He looked like a dead panda.

I considered it for a moment, then said, "You got any frying pans?"

They all stared. What do you want a frying pan for? Saphira asked in disbelief.

"Eh, no reason really. I just need it for something I don't have planned."

I sensed regret coming off the minds of all five of them. Ha, they probably wished they had picked someone else. Idiots. They should know the consequences of picking me to do anything.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" the random guy asked worriedly.

"Nope," I said cheerfully, grinning. "Not a clue."

I don't blame them for being worried.

Pigeon, bruised and sore, had just left the training square, his bow and quiver slung over his back and his spear in his hand. He somehow managed to knock on the command tent's flap and somebody inside said, "Come in." He pulled back the flap and went in.

The people inside looked worried, even Saphira. Pigeon took a wild guess and asked, "Dusk?"

Ajihad sighed. "Yes." He seemed to be a lot more tired usual. He gestured at the man, the elf, and the woman. "Jormundur, this is Pigeon. Pigeon, this is Jormundur, and this is Nasuada. I do not think you have been introduced yet. The elf is Arya."

"Err, hi," said Pigeon uncertainly. "How was it with Dusk?"

"She took a frying pan and that dagger of hers. Nothing else." Eragon glared at the walls of the tent, fingering the hilt of his sword.

"She'll manage," Pigeon answered, although he was a bit worried inside. He tried to push the feeling away unsuccessfully. Then he got distracted and looked at Eragon, then down at the Rider's red lightsaber. Oh, no wait, that's Star Wars, my bad.

Eragon glanced over at Pigeon. "What is it?"

"You're going to be riding Saphira, right?"

"Yes, why?"

"Then why are you going to use a sword?"

"What's wrong with a sword?"

Pigeon sighed, then turned to Saphira. "Do you mind if we try an experiment?"

Saphira looked at him for a moment, then asked, What do you have in mind?

"Can Eragon sit on your back and try something? Just for a moment, you won't even need the saddle."

Yes.

They all walked outside and Eragon climbed onto Saphira, who hadn't even bothered to stand up. "What now?" the Rider asked once he was seated.

"See if you can hit me from up there with your sword," said Pigeon, standing next to Saphira and looking up, his arms crossed.

Eragon tried. He swung his sword at Pigeon and missed by about half a mile.

"See?" Pigeon said. "A sword is too short. What you need is a long spear, or you could throw magic or shoot arrows, although to use a long spear from Saphira's back while she's in the air will force you to learn a completely new fighting style with a weapon that's worlds apart from your sword in a few days at most, which isn't possible. Even if you did learn, you would need to be able to attack someone but not pierce one of Saphira's wings by accident." Pidgeon paused for moment, thinking. "Never mind," he said finally. "You'll be fine." He then turned back to the others as Eragon slid off Saphira. "Do you have any really long spears?"

Jormundur looked skeptical, but said, "We might. I think we do, in fact. Yes, we do have one."

Oh, well, that's convenient, thought Pigeon. I guess we'll be all right after all.

"What if someone cuts the spear in half?" Eragon asked.

"Most, if not all, of the enemies will have spears, and spears aren't designed for cutting through wood," Pigeon answered. "If somebody has a sword and they cut the pointy metal part off, you can still hit people with the pole. I think the monks from some country or other did perfectly fine with wooden sticks."

"What happens if my opponent kills me while I'm trying to figure out how to use a pole?"

"They won't even be able to reach you. It's Saphira you should be worried about, actually. If the enemy is smart, they'll go for her instead of you. You'll have to watch your wings and eyes," he added to Saphira. "And you can't be flying, either, since you don't have any ranged attacks, so you'll have to have a guard watching your back and sides."

"I can arrange that," said Nasuada.

"No, Nasuada, stay here. Jormundur, you can gather the guard."

"Yes, Ajihad," he said, and strode off.

"We will go over the plan again," said Ajihad, and the rest of them followed him back into the command tent, except for Saphira, who stuck her head in again.

I already knew that sneaking into such a big camp with nobody noticing was impossible, so I wasn't going to sneak into such a big camp with nobody noticing. Oh, people were going to notice alright, definitely.

"Shoo, birds, go away. What're you doing here anyways? There's no food," I said to a vulture that was circling me. The vulture seemed to realize this as well and flew away. The other birds also suddenly realized that they were flying above the smoky, hazy, poisonous field for absolutely no reason other than because black birds and birds of prey often circle soon-to-be battlefields in cliché places despite there being no food anywhere near. They flew off too. The sky cleared amazingly quickly, except a few birds-of-prey stopped to eat some of the slower birds first before leaving.

I looked down at Galby's camp. They looked like black dots from where I was. Hopefully, they could see me. I dived. I really had no idea what I was going to do. Still, if all else failed, I could just run and stay in the background until one side won. After all, I had never sworn loyalty to the stupid Varden; I could do whatever I wanted. Except for Creepy. Damn Creepy.

I dived. And I dived some more. And some more. And then I was right above the camp, and all of the archers seemed to have attended the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy, because they all missed. It was kinda pathetic. It was also how I could tell which of the archers were cannon fodder; the ones that shot arrows I actually had to dodge were the real people.

"Huh. What was I going to do with a frying pan again? Oh, that's right. It was to annoy Eragon."

I landed practically in the dead center of the enemy camp. Almost immediately, I was surrounded by a quite a bunch of soldiers, all of them with spears or arrows aimed at me. It almost looked like the whole army had their weapons pointed at me.

"Hi," I said way too cheerfully, "how're you doing? Really, I should be saying something along the lines of 'Take me to your leader' right now, but that's the most cliche'd thing ever, and this place is bad enough without me adding even more Sueism and clicheness to it. So instead of saying 'Take me to your leader', I think I'll just say 'Where's your boss?'"

The soldiers who had heard me stared. The ones who could see the frying pan also stared. It was rather creepy, really, with about three hundred people staring at me.

Three people pushed through the crowd to the front. One guy was obviously the big boss, the other was Murtagh, and the last one was some chick who looked like she was even more of a Mary Sue than I was, but who probably wasn't. Tagging along behind them was a red dragon, who was about as tall as a person.

I'm Talos, the dragon announced loudly. A few soldiers covered their ears instead of blocking their minds like they were supposed to. The others stopped staring at me and glared at Talos instead.

Murtagh winced. "Alright, we get it, you're Talos, you can stop reminding us."

I was talking to that, Talos said, nodding towards me.

"That has a name, you know," I commented, "and a gender too."

"Oh, yes, General, Nuanen, that's Dusk. I think she works for the Varden," said Murtagh.

"That's debatable, actually," I said. "Let me ask my boss something first, 'kay? Yeah, thanks." I found Creepy somewhere around the ruins on Bone Guard and said, Hi. It's me.

Go on, she said.

Huh?

You want to join Galbatorix, am I correct?

How'd you know?

I give you permission.

Oh. Okay. Thanks.

There was a pause, then Creepy said, Galbatorix has agreed. He says that as long as you do not cause trouble, he will accept you.

Wow, you talked to him? Eh, thanks, I guess. "Hi, yeah, I don't work for the Varden, actually."

"Weren't you with Eragon, though?" asked Murtagh.

"No, actually. Eragon's a moron. By the way, you guys want this random frying pan? No? Whatever. Here, catch." I threw it over my shoulder. Some guy evidently didn't manage to catch it, because there was a loud bonk, as well as a "Hey!"

The general guy really didn't seem to care, because he just said, "You're betraying the terrorists?"

I shrugged. "Pretty much. Oh, and Galby- Gabriel- Gandrayda- Mr. G's already agreed."

"Do you mean His Majesty the King Galbatorix?" the Mary Sue asked. For tradition's sake, I'll describe her voice in excruciating detail. It was like a nightingale, except it wasn't, and it was like a harp, except it had less of that pizzicato sound, and it was like a river of molten pink chocolate, despite the fact that that would probably look pretty disgusting and it doesn't exist and you can't really see or smell a voice anyways, and it was like a summer breeze, except without the wooshing noise, and it was like a forest stream, except without the gurgling and bubbling and crayfish and fish pee, and- alright, I'll stop. The purple's getting to me anyway.

"Yeah, him. You can ask him if you want."

I'm Talos, the dragon declared. Again. The entire army jumped. It looked like they were doing the wave.

"Yes, we get it," Murtagh said exasperatedly. "Now shut up."

Murtagh was on his back immediately with Talos sitting on top of him . The general guy looked like he was pretending not to see what was happening, and Mary Sue took a step towards them, thought better of it, and turned away. I just watched. It was kind of cool to see a Rider get attacked by his dragon. I wish I could've seen Saphira do that to Eragon. It would've been hilarious.

I wasn't too sure why the dragon was broadcasting to everyone, but he was, so I didn't have to butt in on their conversation to know what they were saying.

Did you just tell me what to do? Talos snarled.

"No, I was merely suggesting that-"

What, exactly? Were you suggesting that I be quiet? That I shut up?

"No," Murtagh squeaked.

Don't lie to me. That is exactly what you meant. You don't tell me what to do, Murtagh. You never tell me what to do. I decide what I do, not a human. A human will not tell a dragon what to do. I will obey myself and King Shruikan only. Do you understand?

"Yes."

Talos puffed a bunch of smoke into Murtagh's face. Then apologize.

"I- I'm sorry, Talos," he said, sounding like he'd rather be anywhere but there. Quite a bunch of random soldiers coughed simultaneously. It sounded suspiciously like they were laughing.

I accept your apology. Talos stepped off of Murtagh and started licking his foot, picking out the dirt between the claws and scales.

Murtagh didn't get up, and the general started talking as if nothing had just happened. "I have contacted His Majesty, and he has confirmed what... Dusk said. You are dismissed, all of you."

The soldiers all wandered off, talking. I caught the phrases "Wish I could stand up to my wife like that" and "Talos is my new idol" and "Tell that to my grandchildren if I survive".

Mr. General grabbed my shoulder and pushed me over to a conveniently located empty tent. "I'm keeping an eye on you," he said. "If you could turn traitor to the terrorists so easily, then I wouldn't put it past you to turn against us as well. Which is why I'm putting you under Talos' supervision. If you try anything, Talos will kill you."

"I thought Talos said he wouldn't listen to a human?"

"He wouldn't normally, but Shruikan ordered him to listen to me. He doesn't trust you any more than I do."

"Huh. I guess I shouldn't have expected him to like me after I got away from him out of pure luck."

"That might be part of it," Mr. General agreed. "But the point is, I don't trust you not to turn on us. Do not try anything, and you'll be fine."

"Thanks for the warning, Mr. Person Who I Don't Know the Name Of. Yeah. So, what do I do now?"

"Make sure Talos knows where you are and what you are doing at all times."

"Really? That's easy."

"Don't get on anyone's nerves either," he said. Then, as an afterthought, he added, "That includes mine."

"Dangit."

Nuanen didn't like this new Sue at all. Two Sues couldn't be together without the spotlight always being on one, and when Nuanen and Dusk were together, whoever was in charge of the point of view took all of the attention. Dusk had gotten it last time, but this time, it was her turn.

Nuanen had chosen her name herself. It meant "beautiful" in the language of the elves, and it suited her, for she was beautiful, more so than that idiotic Dusk. With every step Dusk took, it became even more obvious that she was an ugly witch in disguise. Nuanen, however, could never be compared to those warty green witches, for it would be blasphemy to even think of doing so.

Once everyone dispersed, Nuanen didn't head back to her own tent, which was a beautiful soft lilac color that went with her gorgeous wings. Instead, she tried to cast her mind out, but failed. Controlling her mind was the one thing she was only mediocre at. She excelled at flying, magic, learning languages, math, playing instruments, swordplay, singing, dressing up, charming people, writing, military strategy, and pretty much everything except sending out her mind. She wasn't very good at physical combat, either, which she found odd. It was rather annoying, really. Why couldn't she be good at everything?

Deciding that Talos wouldn't be so hard to find anyways, she looked about her and saw a scaly red tail poking out from behind a nearby tent. She walked over to find Talos curled up on the ground, with one eye open and watching Dusk and with the other closed. Dusk was watching people beating each other up on the sparring field, her eyes half closed.

Talos looked up when Nuanen approached, and he gave a little purr that didn't really sound like a cat. Nuanen smiled back.

"Can we talk for a moment?" Nuanen asked, pretending to watch Talos but in reality looking at Dusk. One aspect of Sue magic was that people couldn't overhear her conversations unless it was convenient for her for them to do so. She hoped that it worked on other Sues as well.

Dusk glanced over at Nuanen, shrugged, and turned back to the field. It doesn't work on me, you know, she said, and even in their minds, she sounded ugly, like that evil person in Snow White. But I'll go somewhere else if you want.

Please do, said Nuanen in a voice that was much more beautiful than any nightingale could ever hope to be.

As Dusk strolled off, Talos made to go after her, but Nuanen said, in a beautifully delicate and yet strong voice, "Wait!"

Talos turned. King Shruikan ordered me to watch her, he said, seemingly torn between running after Dusk and staying with Nuanen.

Nuanen gave him a charming smile. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind you taking your eyes off of her for just a moment."

Alright, said Talos. Two soldiers on their way to the training field glanced over at the two of them, but said nothing. That was one thing that was strange about Talos: whenever he spoke, his voice would carry the exact same distance as if he had been speaking aloud. Talos had said it was on purpose, that if he didn't act like an intelligent being, then he wouldn't be treated like one. Nuanen had to admit, it did make some sense.

"Talos, you will be watching Dusk during the battle, am I correct?" Nuanen questioned, her voice conjuring up images of the dew that adorned the leaves and grasses on a cool spring morning. She knew she was correct already, but it sounded politer to ask.

Yes, of course, Talos said. Galbatorix, the king, Marc, and Dolk all don't trust her not to turn on us.

"The commander is on the other side of the camp," Nuanen said, gazing at him curiously. Her eyes were now an absolutely beautiful purple that went perfectly with her wings. They—her eyes, that was—would change colors occasionally, although nobody except her knew why.

Talos shrugged. Nuanen thought she caught a flash of bright orange at the back of his throat when he yawned, but decided that it was probably just a trick of the light.

"What I wanted to ask you is, what will Murtagh do without you there to help him?" She sounded as beautiful as she looked.

He will manage, said Talos.

She sounded like the sweet chiming of bells as she said, "Yes, of course, but I was wondering, what if something happened to him?"

I have known him and you for less than a week. If he dies, then so be it. He and I are friends, nothing more.

"I always did think that the Rider-dragon relationship would be slightly more...potent, and that the two of you would care for each other more," Nuanen said, the slight bit of confusion in her voice only adding to her beauty.

So does everyone. We dragons have ancestral memories, Nuanen, and I had known before that the two-leggeds think of our noble race as a dumb beast of burden. We are on the same level as oxes to them. It was why I decided to speak as I do now, to let your race know that I am not simply a horse to be ridden. However, sometimes I look back on the memories passed down to me from the time of the Riders. It is sickening.

We are powerful creatures, and I have discovered that the pact formed by the elves and dragons is not simply slanted in the elves' favor, but nowhere does it benefit dragons at all. We can fly, we possess magic, we can breathe fire, and we would not have needed your language had we not bonded with the elves and humans. A lone dragon is stronger than a lone elf, and even more so when it comes to humans. Why, then, did we agree to this? I have come to the conclusion that the dragons in that time were tricked, possibly by magical means, to contribute their power to that spell.

Nuanen smiled and nodded politely. She didn't really care. She just wanted Talos to hurry up and answer the question already.

After some experimentation, I've also discovered that the bond between dragon and Rider is only slightly different than a link between the dragon or maybe a fly, or the dragon and a cat. It does not stretch over long distances, and either of us can cut ourselves off from the other temporarily. The only differences are the gedwey ignasia, the fact that Murtagh is now immortal and proficient at magic (both of which are because of me), and the link is permanent. I have nothing to thank him for, besides allowing me to escape from my egg, something which would have happened naturally had my father not given my egg up to the Riders of old.

Murtagh is a normal friend, and nothing more. The bond between dragon and Rider does not automatically mean that I love him. He must prove himself to me if he wants to be a dragon's close friend.

"Oh..." said Nuanen beautifully. "Then you will not be helping Murtagh?"

No. I said that he will manage without me. If he cannot, then he does not deserve a dragon. I refuse to be bonded to someone who cannot care for himself, even in the midst of battle. If he dies, then it proves that he was nothing better than a common soldier. If he survives, then he will have proven himself worthy of me.

"You... have really high standards, don't you?" She didn't mean it as a compliment, but she said it so tactfully that Talos didn't even notice it.

I am a dragon. Do you expect me to have low standards?

"No," Nuanen said wonderfully, "of course not."

Talos glanced over to make sure that Dusk hadn't run off, then returned his attention back to Nuanen. Why did you ask whether I would help Murtagh in the battle?

Nuanen, though slightly surprised by this question, concealed it perfectly and answered, "No reason, really." She didn't say the real reason, but Talos seemed satisfied with her answer anyway and turned back to Dusk.

Nuanen, with that done, retreated to her tent and began to brush her long, luxurious, raven black hair and to tie it into a neat braid. She didn't like braids very much at all, but, Sue or not, floor-length hair in a fight was quite annoying, unless you were spinning around in a circle very very quickly so as to slap people with your hair, and that wasn't attractive (or effective) in the least. After finishing with her hair, she proceeded to find a quiet, clean little pool just outside the camp and in the surrounding forest, even though that same forest hadn't been there even an hour ago. She took a bath, the pretty little birds chirping and flying around her and the cute little squirrels scampering all about her as she did so. Afterward, she went back to her tent, redid her makeup, dabbed on a bit of nail polish, and got out her armor (noticing but not caring that the moment she had left the forest, the entire place had conveniently vanished).

The armor, despite being being made completely of solid steel plates, was as light as a feather, and it was tinted a light amethyst purple that went perfectly with her eyes and wings and clothes. (Nuanen did like purple, she really did, and it was quite obvious when one looked at her, and at her narration.) The armor also happened to accentuate her body, somehow making her even more beautiful, which everyone knew wasn't possible. It even had chain-mail that protected her beautiful membranous wings, the latter of which cast a purple glow on the ground when the sun shone through them. The chain-mail did nothing to impede her superb flying abilities, due to her having enchanted it herself to make it suitable for flight, and her magical abilities were renowned in Uru'baen, being second only to King Galbatorix himself, but only when he didn't have Shruikan or the Eldunari backing him. Intricate swirls and patterns decorated the armor. It didn't have the curling red flame that marked soldiers of the Empire, but everyone in the army knew who she was, and therefore she didn't even need the bright red that would contrast horribly with her purple. Instead, emblazoned on the chest plate was a cute cartoon wing that was outlined in dark violet. Her helmet revealed only her eyes (it looked better that way), while her mouth and nose were covered with a piece of chain-mail that had been enchanted to as to allow her to speak through it without having her voice muffled and to let her breathe, and the rest of her head was covered in plate. All in all, her armor was the most beautiful suit of armor in Alagaesia, and no-one could say differently, for it wasn't an opinion.

She put it all on by herself, easing her wings through the slits in the back and using magic to help herself put on the chain-mail, seeing as she couldn't reach. She should think about getting herself a pet later, to help her with these things. She would prefer a magical creature. Maybe the green egg would hatch for her? No, that was a silly idea. Green didn't go well with purple, everyone knew that. Beside, dragons were horribly arrogant and demanding, as far as she could tell with Talos. She couldn't have a pet that wouldn't obey her unquestioningly.

Oh well, she could think about getting a pet for herself later. A horse, possibly, or a purple bird, if she could find one. She knew she could if she actually wanted one badly enough. She would think about it.

For now, however, she had other things to do. Specifically, looking for Murtagh.