Hi! I'm a little bit late with this chapter, sorry! Just a reminder also that I've gone back through all the chapters and they should (hopefully) all have the proper formatting now and be easier to read. Sorry about that again =A=
Also, trigger warning for a character having a (short) panic attack in the last third of this chapter? I don't know how accurate I've portrayed it, but take care if it's a concern for you!
Chapter 18
It seems that Bonnie doesn't have a set plan in mind when they finally venture outside, just simple determination to ensure that her brother spends a decent amount of time out of his workshop. Clemont has to admit, the change of pace is fairly nice. There's a small part of him that frets at wasting so much time outside when he could be repairing Ash, but Clemont squashes that part down ruthlessly whenever it tries to rear its head. He knows he's been worrying his father and sister with how badly he's been taking care of himself lately – the relief on his father's face when Bonnie had been detailing the outing to him over breakfast had lit the fire of guilt burning in his gut – and given Ash's reaction when he merely had a cold, he knows that Ash would also be concerned if he was here to see it too. There's no deadline to fixing Ash, aside from his own desire to have his best friend back on his feet again; Clemont is sure that the robot would be absolutely okay with him taking a day off, if it means he isn't overworking himself.
So he follows Bonnie around as she leads him down various streets and points out various things in the shop windows; sits back and enjoys the sun on his face as Bonnie splashes around in the park's fountain with Pikachu; yelps in surprise when Pikachu decides to shake himself dry and ends up splashing Clemont with what feels like half the fountain. He gives in to Bonnie's pleading eyes and buys the two of them ice-cream. Bonnie shares hers with Pikachu – perched on top of her head this time – as they make their way down another tree-lined street.
He pauses by a shop that proclaims itself the best for all a Pokémon Trainer's needs, looking at the items spread out in the window display. On their walk around the city, Clemont has overheard the disappointment of more than a few Trainers who have come to challenge his Gym and found it closed. At the very least, none of them are angry remarks; after all, there's not much anyone can do about the roof of the Gym collapsing. Still, Clemont finds himself mentally apologising whenever he passes such a conversation. Clemont has only been down to the Gym once since his father had given him Ash's hat back. The visit had been short, just to check on the damage – and thank the reconstruction crew – and the entire time, Clemont hadn't been able to rid himself of the sick feeling in his stomach. The thought of the Gym reopening still makes him apprehensive. What kind of Gym Leader can't even stand the sight of his own Gym? Clemont thinks glumly. How am I supposed to provide a challenge for Trainers who come to battle me?
The shop window offers no answers. Maybe I'm just too stressed out at the moment, he muses, staring at his reflection. It's easy to see why his family is worried about him – his skin is a pallor several shades lighter than normal and the dark circles under his eyes look almost permanent at this point. Things might be better when I don't have to worry about Ash anymore. Although, from experience, even then Clemont will still be worrying about his robot and his penchant for getting into trouble. He hasn't forgotten Ash's desire to become a Pokémon Trainer, either. It hadn't come up again after that day in the rain and their argument, but that doesn't mean that Ash has dropped the idea. As much as Clemont wants to support Ash in achieving his dream, he's still not sure what he thinks about it. There's still a tangled ball of worry and fear in his gut whenever he considers Ash setting off around Kalos on his own. Yet Clemont isn't so much of a mess at the moment that he's missed the fact that he's been improving Ash's design here and there almost unconsciously whilst fixing it, making it stronger, sturdier, lighter – in short, making an upgrade well suited to someone trekking across the countryside. It's not just the hardware side of things either; he's caught himself boosting programs and increasing efficiency in the code, not to mention writing entirely new scripts, in the short time he's been working on cleaning up all of the software as well.
Clemont sighs. I can't even get my act together to decide if I want him to be able to go or not .
A tug on his sleeve draws his attention downwards to Bonnie, who is looking between the shop window and him. "Clemont, what's up? Did you see something that you want?" She stands on tip-toe, pressing her face to the glass to get a better look at the things on display. Pikachu peers through the glass as well from his vantage point on her head.
"Ah, no, I was just thinking…" he replies sheepishly. Now wasn't the time to get caught up in negative thoughts! "Did you want something?"
"Pika, pikachu pi pika!" Pikachu answers before Bonnie can open her mouth, waving an arm. Sparing Pikachu a glance, Bonnie translates: "There's a garden further down the street. I think Pikachu wants to goes there?"
"Pika!" Pikachu nods when Clemont looks to him for confirmation.
"Then of course we can go there," Clemont says with a smile. "Why don't you two lead the way?"
Bonnie cheers, skipping ahead and pausing every so often to make sure her brother is keeping up with his more sedate pace. A garden, huh? Clemont muses as he walks. He blinks, a sudden thought blooming, and he glances around to check what part of the city they're walking through at the moment. I think we're in the right place, I wonder if this is –?
"Oh!" Bonnie says, coming to a halt. "Clemont, isn't this the flower garden we first saw Pikachu in?"
"Yes, I think so," he replies, looking around at the riot of colourful flowers on display. They'd come at it from a different direction this time, but he's pretty sure that that patch of blue flowers that he can see in the distance is where they first met the small Pokémon still riding on Bonnie's head.
"Is this where you live, Pikachu?" Bonnie asks, eyes wide. "It's so pretty!.. Ah, Pikachu!"
Pikachu leaps down from his perch, racing down the grassy pathway as Bonnie calls out after him. Clemont has a sudden stab of worry – is Pikachu leaving? – when Pikachu stops and waves to them from further up the path. "Pipika! Pipikachu!"
Clemont lets out a sigh of relief. "Come on, I think Pikachu wants us to follow him," he tells her, holding out a hand. The two of them follow Pikachu through the winding paths between the flowers, until one such path opens onto a small glade, soft grass beneath their feet and surrounded by gently swaying flowers.
"Wow," Bonnie breathes, spinning around to look at it all. "Clemont, look! Those pink flowers are so pretty!"
In the middle of the open space, Pikachu sets his paws by his mouth and calls out a few times, drawing the siblings' combined attention. "What's Pikachu doing?" Bonnie whispers to her brother.
Clemont adjusts his glasses, nonplussed. "I think –" he starts, before rustling cuts him off. A small head pokes out of a clump of flowers across the other side, before the small, white Pokémon cautiously floats out from safety, clinging to its own flower.
"It's a Flabébé!" Bonnie whispers, as the new arrival give a pleased cry and rushes towards Pikachu, swirling around the electric Pokémon and chattering happily. Pikachu seems just as glad to see the Flabébé, his own responses cheerful.
"– I think that these must be Pikachu's friends from the garden," Clemont finishes, watching as several other Pokémon cautiously creep out of the flowerbeds until Pikachu is surrounded by a mismatched group of Pokémon, all greeting Pikachu with happiness. A Furret rushes in and around and around Pikachu, swaddling the electric Pokémon like a furry blanket until Pikachu laughs and escapes. As expected, there are mostly Grass- and Bug-type Pokémon – a Budew shyly comes up to bump against Pikachu's cheek; Pikachu grins and pats it back in a gesture that is eerily reminiscent of Ash – but Clemont can see a Skiddo hiding further back near some trees and there's an Electrike happily wagging its tail, sparks flying between it and Pikachu.
"They seem really happy to see Pikachu," Bonnie comments.
"Well, he is their friend," Clemont reasons, before frowning. "Actually… the last time they would have seen Pikachu was just after they battled Team Rocket the first time. Pikachu was injured; they must be glad to see that he's okay now." The sound of their conversation attracts the group of Pokémon's attention; Clemont startles back a bit when he looks up and finds them all staring his way. "Uh… hi?" he says nervously.
"Hi!" Bonnie calls, apparently unaffected by the stares as she waves happily. "It's nice to meet you, Pikachu's friends!" His sister has nerves of steel.
The group looks torn between fighting and fleeing; Clemont backs up a pace, pulling Bonnie with him, just in case they feel too threatened. He remembers how Pikachu had originally hated anyone trying to come near him when they had first met.
However, Pikachu comes to their rescue. The electric-type jumps in-between the two groups and faces his Pokémon friends, delivering an impassioned speech with much arm-waving. Much to Clemont's relief, the Pokémon seem to be listening to whatever Pikachu is telling them. When the speech is finally done, Pikachu steps back. The first Pokémon to approach them cautiously is the same Budew as before; it hops up to Bonnie, who crouches down to the same level.
"Be careful," Clemont cautions. "They might be like how Pikachu was at first."
Bonnie nods, and holds out a hand to Budew. The Grass Pokémon eyes it warily for a few moments, before coming forward and bopping its head against her palm. Bonnie giggles, gently rubbing Budew's leaves. "Hi, Budew!"
Budew chirps a reply, which seems to be a signal for all the other Pokémon to come over and inspect them. A giggling Bonnie is immediately buried under a pile of Bidoof and Furret, as Flabébé hovers above.
"Bonnie!" Clemont yelps, startled. He reaches out to help her but she is already sitting up with a laugh, Furret draped around her neck like a stole. There's a nudge against his shoe; when he looks down, an Oddish and the Electrike are waiting there. The Electrike nudges his shoes again.
"Hello," Clemont says, the grass making a comfortable seat when he follows Bonnie's example and sits down. He cautiously reaches out to the Electrike, patting it gently. As the electric Pokémon croons approval, the Oddish beside it starts to bounce up and down eagerly. Clemont laughs, patting the impatient Oddish with his other hand. "Alright, alright, you too." Other Pokémon crowd around them, eager for attention. "They're so friendly towards us now," he comments to Bonnie. "I was worried for a moment there."
Bonnie reaches out to stroke a Whirlipede's shell. "Maybe Pikachu told them that we're friends of his and Ash's!" she suggests, glancing up at Pikachu, who has reclaimed his position on her head. The electric Pokémon waves cheerfully. "I mean, those two did save all the garden Pokémon, didn't they?"
"That's certainly true…" Clemont is distracted as the Furret decides to wind itself around his waist. He giggles at the sensation, obligingly scratching Furret behind the ears.
They spend the whole afternoon playing with the garden Pokémon – or rather, Bonnie plays with them, having much more energy to spare, while Clemont sits and watches, usually accompanied by a few Pokémon demanding pats.
He remembers after a while that he brought his own Pokémon along with him on today's outing; they certainly deserve to have some playtime as well, so he calls them out of their Pokéballs. The garden Pokémon are wary at first, but quickly warm up to the newcomers as they had their masters and soon his Pokémon are happily joining in with Bonnie and the garden Pokémon's games.
At some point, the warm sunshine and the peace of the afternoon conspire to let Clemont drift off to sleep. When Bonnie catches sight of him curled up in the grass and dozing, she grins and points it out to Pikachu. Girl and Pokémon dance happily in their victory.
It's much later in the afternoon when Clemont's eyes flutter open blearily. There's a moment of confusion as he wakes – his pillow feels much too spongy to be right and the world around him is too crisp and clear to be his usual morning vision – but memory returns in a rush and has him jolting up in panic. "Bonnie?!"
"Over here!" Bonnie calls. He spots her sitting nearby, making flower chains for the Pokémon sitting around her watching intently. Clemont sighs loudly in relief, hand against his chest as he tries to will his heart to stop pounding frantically. Murmurs of protest and confusion surround him; Clemont looks down, to find himself in the middle of a pile of sleeping Pokémon.
"Huh?!"
"They saw you sleeping and wanted to keep you company," Bonnie explains, weaving flowers together. "Lucky~"
"Oh…" Clemont replies, nonplussed. He glances down at the Pokémon around (and in Furret's case, on) him. "…Sorry for startling you all awake," he apologises. Sleepy murmurs assure him that no-one is angry about their sudden awakening. He glances up at the sky. "It's getting late," he tells Bonnie. "We should probably start heading home."
"Aw," she pouts, but leans forward and gifts her current project to a waiting Budew, who blushes happily and chirps a thank you. Bonnie laughs and pats it on its leaves, before brushing grass and leaves off her skirt. Clemont apologises again to the Pokémon surrounding him as he carefully extracts himself from their midst. His Pokémon return to their Pokéballs.
They wave goodbye to the Pokémon amidst a chorus of farewells. For one heart-stopping moment, Clemont thinks that maybe Pikachu intends to stay in the garden with his other friends – he is, after all, still a wild Pokémon and it seems like this used to be his home. Before he can work up too much of a panic, Pikachu waves one last time to his friends and then comes bounding towards them, leaping onto Bonnie's head.
"You didn't want to stay with your friends, Pikachu?" Bonnie asks, curious, as they begin the trek back to Prism Tower. She's once again skipping ahead of her brother.
Pikachu shakes his head. "Pikapi pikachu."
Clemont nods in understanding. He should have guessed that Pikachu wouldn't want to leave while Ash was still not awake. With a start, he realises that he hasn't worried about fixing Ash almost the entire afternoon. His nap seems to have worked wonders as well; he feels much more refreshed than he did before. I guess Bonnie was right, a change of pace and some fresh air did do me some good , he chuckles to himself. "Thanks, Bonnie."
"Huh? For what?" she asks, spinning around to face him and walking backwards. He keeps an eye on the path ahead of her just in case.
"For today. You were right, it helped a lot." He beams at her.
She stops. Her entire expression brightens, eyes wide and sparkling. "Really?!" At his nod, she spins around with a cheer, before spinning back to face him. "Ah, I mean, of course!" she says, affecting a confident, diffident voice. "I said I'd look after you this time around, after all!"
"And you did," he tells her, grinning as the diffidence drops into a wide smile. "Thanks, Bonnie, I appreciate it."
"No worries!"
"Pipika!"
.
.
.
His good mood persists through his return to the workshop, where he surveys the mess with a critical eye. "Right, it's about time I clean this place up a bit," he tells Pikachu. "I probably won't be getting anything else done tonight, anyway."
So he rolls up his sleeves and gets to work, storing away tools in their proper places or leaving them on the bench if he knows that he'll still need them; rolling up old blueprints and other notes and storing them away in the various cupboards that line the room; even cleaning up his computer desk, so that the books are ordered and stacked neatly and the several abandoned mugs are returned to the kitchen sink to await washing. Pikachu also helps him clean things up by putting away small objects or wiping up spilled drops of oil, or holding things for Clemont as he tries to reorganise the contents of some boxes so that things fit.
Finally, the room is much cleaner and much more organised. Clemont wipes his forehead with a sleeve. "That's better," he comments. "Thanks Pikachu." He looks down at his now filthy clothes; Pikachu isn't in much better condition. "Guess we'd better go get cleaned up before dinner," he comments to the Pokémon sheepishly. Pikachu snorts and climbs onto his shoulder; a bit more grime won't make much difference at this point.
.
.
.
After dinner, he doesn't set foot in the workshop straight away. He's had most of the day off already, he may as well make sure he gets one good night of sleep. He helps his father wash the dinner dishes and helps his sister get ready for bed. He reads Bonnie a bedtime story as well, giving her a kiss goodnight when he is finished. She giggles and smooches his cheek in return. He changes into his own pyjamas; brushes his teeth. Only then does he venture back towards his workshop.
Pikachu grumbles in his ear as he pushes open the door. "Don't worry, I'm not going to work on anything, I'm just saying good night to Ash," Clemont reassures him. "Besides, I'm in my pyjamas now, I can't work." That's a fair stretch of the truth – Clemont has woken up in the middle of the night to work on inventions, and done it in his pyjamas to boot – but true to his word this time, he stays away from computer and tools, taking a seat next to Ash.
"Hey, Ash," he says quietly. "Sorry I didn't get to work on any of your code today; Bonnie came in this morning and dragged me outside…" He recounts the day to Ash briefly, Pikachu chiming in every now and then. "You would have enjoyed it," he finishes. "Maybe once I've fixed all your code and you're awake again, we can go back and you can meet all the garden Pokémon yourself. I know you like meeting new Pokémon." He falls silent, the only sounds the quiet hum of the computer and his and Pikachu's breathing. He looks towards the windows lining the room, gazing out across the sea of lights that is Lumiose City. "I still don't know what to do with the voice code," Clemont confesses, resting head in hands and elbows on knees. "Today was a good break and a nice chance to try and relax, and I'm grateful to Bonnie, but it didn't really help me figure anything out." Pikachu is silent by his knee. "But don't worry!" he scrambles to reassure robot and Pokémon both. "I'll figure something out, just you wait and see." His words are quickly followed by a yawn. Clemont stretches and gets to his feet. "Anyway, I'll get back to work tomorrow morning, first thing." He reaches out, brushing hair out of the robot's eyes. "Good night, Ash."
He turns around and makes his way to the door, stifling another yawn. However, just as his luck would have it, halfway across the room his foot tangles in a cord and Clemont goes sprawling face-first across the cold floor.
"Pipika!" Pikachu cries in alarm, bounding closer.
"Owwww," Clemont groans, struggling to his elbows and rubbing his face. Luckily, it doesn't feel like he's broken anything; it's just going to hurt a lot tomorrow. It hurts a lot right now, in fact. His fingers don't collide with his glasses during his check-over either. With a sigh, Clemont begins feeling around on the floor for his glasses. "I can't believe this, I just cleaned everything up."
"Pikapi?" There's a yellow blur nearby, offering him something. He reaches out and finds Pikachu has retrieved his glasses for him.
"Thanks, Pikachu," he says gratefully, shoving them onto his nose and pushing himself to his knees.
"Pika pipika chu pi," Pikachu scolds. Clemont sighs.
"Yes, I know, I should watch where I'm going next time. I didn't think there was anything on the floor to trip other though, I thought we packed it all away, except for the cables linking Ash to…"
'Bro! Hurry up, there's a challenger waiting!'
'Got it! I'm – '
CRAAAAASH!
Clemont cuts off, whirling around in horror. His eyes are wide. "Oh no, don't tell me I've done it again!"
He scrambles over to the platform, nearly tripping over empty air this time in his haste. Luckily, unlike last time, Ash hasn't fallen off the platform but Clemont isn't going to take any chances. He drops to his knees beside Ash, hurriedly checking for any damage he might have caused by messing with the attached cables.
Much to Clemont's immense relief, he can't find anything amiss. He exhales noisily, settling back on his heels. "Thank goodness!" he says aloud to no-one in particular as he tries to calm his racing heart. He wouldn't have been able to forgive himself if he'd gone and damaged Ash himself after all of this. The remaining nervous jitters mix with the heady rush of relief and bubble up, and Clemont finds himself giggling as Pikachu looks on with confusion. "Sorry," he says through his amusement, trying to explain. "I just – I did the same thing back when I was first making Ash – before you started living here." He looks down at his friend with a fond smile. "Ash wasn't even his name yet back then. I'd just finished programming him, and Bonnie came to get me because a challenger had come to the Gym. I tripped over some cables then, too, but at least Ash isn't injured this time."
"Pikaaa," Pikachu comments, patting Ash on the head.
"Yeah, Ash is lucky that he can't get concussions because he fell onto the floor pretty hard when that happened," Clemont says sheepishly, scratching his head and directing a mental apology Ash's way. "It was just fortunate that it didn't mess up any of his code, I think that was the day I set up the…" His hand slows to a stop, "the voice… code…"
A sudden flash of realisation has Clemont staring down at Ash in shock, his eyes wide. No. Surely it can't be that easy...?
"Pipika?" Pikachu asks in concern when he doesn't continue, tugging on his pyjama pants to get his attention. The Pokémon's ears perk up when Clemont directs a gaze bright with excitement towards him.
"I was setting up the voice code!" he exclaims triumphantly. Pikachu flinches at the sudden increase in volume, reminding Clemont that his sister – and probably his father – are fast asleep. "Sorry," Clemont says with a wince, dropping his voice back to a more discreet volume. "I was setting up the voice code!" he repeats in an excited whisper. "I knew I hadn't mixed the password up! That fall must have caused the recording program to malfunction." He frowns, tapping his chin as he thinks furiously. "But it's never been flagged as an error in any of the software checks I've done since then, so the program must have recorded something in its place. Probably something else that I said…" But what? Come on, Clemont, think! Try to remember what you and Bonnie were talking about…!
'Bro! Hurry up, there's a challenger waiting!'
'Got it! I'm –'
'Ahh! Clembot!'
'What have you made this time?'
'It's a robot to help me out with the Gym. So I can have time to do other stuff as well, since we have so many challengers…'
Clemont shakes his head, discarding every part of the conversation that he thinks of. None of it feels right, he thinks in frustration. True, it could be anything if the recorder hadn't been functioning properly, but Clemont still feels like he's missing something.
Huffing in annoyance – he's so close to an answer, he can feel it! – Clemont spies a stray lock of hair falling in Ash's eyes, dislodged by his earlier fall. He reaches out and gently brushes it back into place – and then freezes as another part of memory slots into place.
"I know what it is," he whispers in awe, a grin starting to spread on his face that only grows wider. "Oh, Pikachu! I know what the code is!"
He jumps to his feet and hurries to the computer, Pikachu hot on his heels. Although only a few seconds, it seems to take forever for the computer to boot up from sleep mode as Clemont taps impatiently on the desk. When it loads, he navigates to the file marked with a red flag with barely contained anticipation.
*ACCESS DENIED.
*VOICE CODE REQUIRED.
Clemont takes a deep breath, suddenly nervous. This is it, he knows this is it, but in the back of his mind, the seed of doubt remains. He leans forward, bracing his hands on the desk, and speaks clearly.
"I'm the Gym Leader, Clemont. Please bear with me from today on."
It feels like an eternity as he waits for the computer to process the data. He swallows nervously. Beside him, Pikachu is staring at the screen avidly.
The computer beeps.
*VOICE CODE OK.
*FILE ACCESS GRANTED.
*ENABLE MASTER RECOGNITION MODE? Y/N
"It… it worked? Oh my goodness, it worked!" Clemont says excitedly. "Yes!" He jumps with excitement, unable to contain his absolute glee as he spins around. "We did it, Pikachu!" he laughs, coming to a stop. Pikachu cheers, waving his arms excitedly.
They remember at the same time that they should be trying to stay quiet for the sake of the others sleeping down the hallway and cover their mouths sheepishly. After a minute of listening intensely, Clemont decides that they have managed not to disturb his family despite the noise. He beams at Pikachu as his hand drops, his eyes sparkling.
"I know I said I wouldn't do anything tonight," he whispers to Pikachu, pulling out the chair and sitting down, "but it can't hurt to quickly check it since it's working now, right?" His fingers stretch over the keys, awaiting his decision.
The dialogue box remains, white letters glowing on the screen.
*ENABLE MASTER RECOGNITION MODE? Y/N
Outside of a battle, this mode is just an extra safety precaution designed to prevent unintended changes to Ash's AI system. Since Clemont only intends to look at the file right now, not edit it, he opts not to turn it on.
*N
*MASTER RECOGNITION MODE NOT ENABLED.
The dialogue box blinks away, leaving the file behind, open at last. Clemont reaches for the mouse, excitement flaring up again. Here is one of Ash's core files, one of several that are specifically part of the learning capabilities of the AI system. Considering how often Ash makes a habit of ignoring the logic built into his default AI, this is Clemont's chance to finally understand how his friend thinks – in code form, at least. Most of the code in this file would be information and procedures that the AI system has written itself, without any input from Clemont.
"Now, let's see what's in here…" he says, eagerly scrolling through the code.
And scrolling…
And… scrolling…
His eyes dart over the screen, glee slowly fading into confusion and then dismay as he moves further down the page. He scrolls slower and slower, tendrils of dread curdling in his stomach and wrapping his heart in their icy grip. "What… what is this…?" he whispers, shoulders slumping.
The code is completely scrambled.
"This isn't – this can't be – "
This is one of Ash's core files! Clemont was expecting some damage, based on what he's seen of the other files that Team Rocket's program attacked, but nothing like this. Logically, it shouldn't have even been affected at all – after all, even Clemont has been locked out of the file until now.
"I don't – I don't understand –" he says weakly, feeling faint. The file before him is nothing like the one he originally wrote. There are whole sections that have been blacked out or turned into unintelligible gibberish; random words changed into weird symbols that might be Pokédings; literally nothing is in any coding syntax that Clemont recognises. There are sections that cut off mid-word, only to turn up further on in the file with half their variables missing.
This is part of Ash's learning AI; part of what makes his Ash, well, Ash.
And it's a complete ruin.
I can't bring Ash back if his core code is corrupted like this!
The screen blurs, but Clemont is barely conscious of the tears burning at the corners of his eyes. It's too hard to breathe; his heart clenches painfully in his chest. Clemont hunches over the keyboard, body trembling.
"Pipika!"
"I – I can't fix this," he chokes out, fingernails digging into his arms, tears sliding down his cheeks in a flood to splash against the desk and the keyboard. "I don't – it's all corrupted, I don't even know what it says, I can't fix this, how am I supposed to get Ash back if his code is like this?! "
A dim part of him is aware of Pikachu shaking at his arm in terrified concern, aware that he's starting to hyperventilate in his panic. But he can't calm down, not when a major part of Ash's code might be broken beyond repair and if this file is broken that means that his Ash is gone gone gone because most of Ash's mind was stored in that file and it's broken and he doesn't know how – to – fix – it –
Clemont doesn't notice when Pikachu abandons his attempt at comfort and darts for the door, too caught up in his panic and his struggle to breathe. He doesn't hear Meyer's shocked, "Clemont!" as his father follows a frantic Pikachu back into the workshop, doesn't see Pikachu gesture at him desperately, unsure of what to do. Doesn't see his father approach him hesitantly, reaching out.
"Clemont? Clemont? Can you hear me?"
The heavy, comforting weight of his father's hand on his shoulder helps to ground him somewhat. His throat is too choked up to force out words, so he nods, eyes shut. There's a note of relief in his father's voice when he speaks, although he keeps up a calm tone. "Good. That's good. You're having a panic attack, Clemont. You need to breathe properly. Come on, breathe with me, that's it. One, two, three…"
As his father counts to ten and back, Clemont struggles to match his father's pace, his breaths coming harsh and haggard. His father rubs his back, murmuring encouragement between counts; small paws latch onto one of his hands, Pikachu counting along with Meyer encouragingly. With an agonising slowness, the choked feeling fades, the panic receding bit by bit until only the nauseous dread remains, curled up in his gut.
"There we go," Meyer says approvingly, still rubbing circles against his back. "Better?" Clemont nods, keeping his eyes shut for now. "That's good. How do you feel?"
"Terrible, "Clemont replies honestly, sniffling. His voice is rough, words scraping against his throat. In response, Meyer simply wraps his arms around him in a comforting hug. Clemont clings back, burying his face against his father's shoulder. The material of his father's tshirt is soft under his cheek, rapidly turning darker as it soaks up the tears still running down his cheeks. He sniffles.
"…Do you want to tell me what happened?" Meyer asks after a few moments, his voice still quiet and calm. Clemont is grateful that his father doesn't insist, even though it must have been rather a fright for him to follow a frantic Pokémon and find his son on the verge of a panic attack at the other end.
So he gathers his courage and his words, and tries to explain. "I can't…" His hands, fisted in his father's shirt, clench tighter. Even the mere thought of it brings fresh tears to his eyes that spill across his cheeks. "Papa, Papa, I can't fix him," he sobs, body shaking as he cries. "I can't fix him!"
Meyer makes calming noises, patting his son's back soothingly. "Ash?" he asks. Clemont nods shakily, still refusing to look up. "Of course you can fix him, Clemont," Meyer tells him. "You've been doing an amazing job so far!"
A dispirited shake of the head. "No?" his father asks, surprise evident in his voice. "…Why not?"
Clemont swallows, throat feeling tight again. He takes a few deep breathes – in, out, in, out – and pulls back slightly from his father, wiping fruitlessly at the wetness on his cheeks. "I – I finally unlocked that file I've been having trouble with…"
His voice trails away; even talking about it hurts as keenly as it had only a few minutes ago, the pain of his realisation still fresh. His father, not understanding, brightens. "But that's great news, Clemont! Well done!"
Clemont squeezes his eyes shut. "I thought so too, but –" His voice breaks. "That file… a whole chunk of Ash's code… it's completely corrupted!"
Meyer's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "You can fix that though, surely? After all, you wrote it in the first place!"
Clemont shakes his head, hair flicking wildly. "Not this part," he whispers. His father still looks confused. "Ash has a learning AI," he tries to explain, miserable. "I might have written t-the original c-code, but most of that file, the AI wrote itself as Ash – as Ash grew. Even if I can manage to rewrite what was there… he'll be missing a lot of what made him the way that he is. I don't – I don't think I could bear it, if Ash wasn't…" His voice trails off as he tries a futile attempt to scrub away his tears again, merely sniffling loudly.
There is silence for a few moments, until Clemont continues in a small voice, "…What if he doesn't remember us…?"
That is his true fear, brought to the forefront of his mind and looming ever closer ever since he'd cried as he cradled Ash's unresponsive body in his ruined Gym. The idea that his robot – his best friend – will be lost forever to him. This unexpected blow to his hopes is the final straw in a long trail of devastation; Clemont isn't sure how much energy he has left to spare, if all he's going to do is continually run into problems that tear at his heart. He wants to give up, because everything just seems so hopeless at the moment… but then, the very idea of doing that tears at his heart just as much – because he can't give up, it's Ash.
"Oh, Clemont," his father says sadly. The amount of sympathy in Meyer's voice spurs on a fresh wave of tears that wobble at the corner of Clemont's eyes, and he finds himself being pulled in for another fierce hug. "I know, of course that would hurt a lot. He's your best friend, after all – Ash means a lot to you and your sister, and I know that you both mean a lot to Ash as well." His father draws back, meeting his son's tearful gaze. "But that's why, if he doesn't remember you… you'll just have to become best friends once again!" Meyer flashes an encouraging smile at Clemont. "You can't let the fear of failure stop you, not when you've come so far. Besides, you can't give in until the very end! – isn't that what Ash always says?"
Clemont acknowledges the truth of his words with a hum. His father is right; he can't just give up now. It's easy to imagine Ash nodding sagely along with his father's words, directing an encouraging grin Clemont's way. No matter how much it hurts, he thinks, placing a hand over his heart like the pain he feels is from a tangible wound. I couldn't bear it if Ash woke up and didn't remember me, but… even worse is a world where Ash doesn't wake up at all. He sniffles, using his sleeve in a more successful attempt to wipe away the tearstains on his cheeks.
Meyer makes a thoughtful noise, drawing Clemont's attention. "Oh, I was just thinking," Meyer says in response to his questioning glance, amusement dancing in his eyes. He glances over at Ash as he continues. "You did a remarkable job when you built Ash; that boy is always managing to do things beyond what I would have thought capable." He chuckles quietly. "I wouldn't be surprised if he remembered you out of sheer stubbornness, no matter what state his programming was in."
A weak laugh escapes Clemont before he can think, startling him. "That's Ash alright…" he agrees, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a smile as he too glances the robot's way.
They quietly observe Ash for a few long moments, until Meyer breaks the silence with a sigh. "I wish I could help you," he admits, brows drawn. "But to tell you the truth, you surpassed any skill that I had with all of this," he waves a hand at the workshop, "by the time you were six, so I'm not sure there's anything I could help you with."
"It's okay, Papa –"
His father holds up a hand, forestalling him, before he fixes Clemont with a serious gaze. "But I'll say again, remember, if you need anything – even if it's just a hug! – I'm here, Clemont. I may not be able to help you much, but I can support you, at least."
It's easier to smile this time, some of his sorrow fading into the background. "Thanks, Papa, I know," he reassures his father, and takes him up on the offer straight away by throwing his arms around him. Meyer chuckles and hugs him back, full of reassurance and love and everything that Clemont loves about his father's hugs.
"Pikachu!" pipes up another voice. Clemont breaks away from the hug to look towards the desk, where a relieved Pikachu is waiting. "Pikachu pika!"
"You'll support me too?" Clemont asks, smile growing stronger still. "Thank you, Pikachu." He reaches out to scratch the electric Pokémon's head; Pikachu leans into his hand, nuzzling against it with a happy whine of pleasure. "I'm sorry for scaring you before," Clemont tells the Pokémon, guilt tugging the corners of his smile down again.
Pikachu shakes his head. "Chuu! Pipika!" The Pokémon reaches out and pats Clemont's hand in a clear gesture of 'don't worry about it'. "Pika pika!"
"Better?" Meyer asks.
Clemont thinks for a moment, assessing himself. He nods. "A little bit."
"Sleep will help even more," his father points out, standing up with a groan. Pikachu yawns widely, nodding sleepy agreement. "You should go to bed. If you get some good rest, then maybe it'll be easier to see a clear way through this problem when you wake up tomorrow. Besides," he adds, hands on hips, "You won't be able to help Ash at all if you just make yourself sick again by working yourself too hard and stressing out!"
Clemont wilts a bit under the admonishment. "I know," he says, looking down. He spares a glance for Ash and his computer, the file that has caused so much grief still open on the screen. However, the intense ups and downs of his night have left him feeling too emotionally drained to feel up to doing anything, even if he had a solution to the corrupted file. Which he doesn't.
Sleep is sounding like the best course of action.
Exhaustion starts to creep in, no longer held at bay by his earlier panicking. His body feels devoid of any energy; putting one foot in front of the other is about the most he can achieve. It's a good thing I was already dressed for bed, he thinks drowsily as he climbs into bed. Pikachu leaps up onto the bed, curling up next to Clemont's pillow as his father makes sure the sheets are properly drawn over him.
"You have a good heart, Clemont," he hears his father say, a hand ruffling his hair as he drifts off to sleep. "I'm proud of you."
Despite all odds, Clemont drifts off to sleep with a small smile on his face.
/\/\/\
Clemont's eyes blink open, the world dark around him. He groans, rubbing at his face and wincing when his fuzzy mind finally registers that the gritty feel to his skin is from dried teartracks. With a sigh, he glances over at his alarm clock, squinting at the glowing numbers. It might say two in the morning. Then again, it might also be five in the morning. Clemont sighs again and gropes around for his glasses, shoving them onto his nose.
It's two in the morning.
He returns his glasses to the bedside table, flopping back down onto his pillow and staring up at his blurry, pitch-dark ceiling. Barely three hours of sleep has not been enough to make him feel refreshed; if anything, Clemont feels just as tired as ever. Toss and turn and try as though he might, however, he can't seem to fall asleep.
He looks over at the clock again. The blurs look almost identical as before.
Clemont sighs and goes back to staring at the ceiling.
Beside him, Pikachu mumbles something in his sleep, ears twitching. He listens to the quiet pattern of Pikachu's breathing, hoping that it will lull him back to sleep. After several minutes and no such luck, Clemont sighs and gives in. Looks like I'm not going back to sleep any time soon.
He scrubs at his face again, wanting to remove the evidence of last night. The memory of the corrupted file, and how it had sent his hopes crashing down, is still extremely painful. Clemont pokes at the memory, flinching away as another wave of despair threatens to well up. I can't give up, he tells himself fiercely, clenching his hands. No matter how hopeless it seems, I can't give up on Ash. I refuse to!
Even so, his panic from the previous night is based in truth: Clemont honestly has no idea what to do with this revelation or how to fix it. Parts of the file are salvageable, but the majority of it…
Had the damage been caused by Team Rocket's attempt at mind-controlling Ash? Or had it happened even earlier, maybe even a result of crashing into the floor when an unwary inventor tripped over some cables? The problem is that Clemont can't be sure. That file has been locked – by him – for almost as long as Ash has been awake. He's never succeeded in opening it before; there is no way of knowing how long it's been like that. Of course, it's far more likely that it has been caused by Team Rocket; surely even Ash couldn't function all this time with such an integral file in such a glitched-out state!
However, Clemont is willing to cling to even the slightest sliver of hope, if it means that the Ash he knows can come back unharmed. And if not, well…
…he'll just have to do as his father said and start from the beginning again. It's still better than never having Ash in his life.
Troubled, Clemont throws back the covers – gently laying them down at the last minute to avoid disturbing the Pokémon sleeping soundly beside him. He's a little envious of Pikachu as he swings his feet down and pads across the cold floor to the window, wrapping the blanket around him as he moves. He rests his arms on the sill and his forehead against the cool glass, looking out at the city far below. Lumiose is beautiful at night; it isn't called the City of Lights for nothing, after all.
As beautiful as the sight of the city is though, it doesn't make Clemont feel any more able to sleep. He sighs, breath misting against the glass. His entire body feels drained of energy, but his mind is still frustratingly awake.
Out of the corner of his eye, he spies something on his desk glinting in the moonlight. Curiosity piqued, Clemont makes his way to the desk, the blanket trailing behind him like a long robe.
'Here, you earned this.'
He stares down at the Voltage Badge resting on his palm. Ash had been so excited about everything; an excitement that has never really worn off, no matter how used to things the robot became. Clemont had been excited too; eager to see what his creation was capable of. The match they had shared had been heart-pounding fun, but confusing. Right from the very start, Ash has been ignoring his programming and acting on instincts that a mere machine shouldn't have. Ash has never been a mere machine though; even if his friend had been born human, Clemont still doubts he would have been a 'mere' anything.
He knows now where he needs to be.
His fingers close around the badge gently. The floor is already turning his bare feet numb but he doesn't stop for his slippers as he walks out of the room, gripping the blanket close around him with his other hand. As he leaves, Pikachu's ears twitch; the Pokémon raises his head blearily in time to see Clemont slip out the door. Pikachu stretches and leaps down from the bed, catching up to Clemont quickly.
"Sorry," Clemont whispers, contrite. "I didn't mean to wake you."
Pikachu shakes his head and climbs up his pyjamas to settle on his shoulder. The small Pokémon nuzzles against his cheek, wordlessly offering his support and love. Clemont's answering smile is small but genuine. The smile disappears when his feet lead him to the closed door of his workshop. For a moment he stares at the door, the apprehension gripping his insides a sharp déjà vu. He takes a deep breath, fingering the edges of the Voltage Badge still clutched in his hand, and pushes open the door.
The moon is full tonight; the windows lining the workshop allow moonlight to spill into the room and burnish everything silver. Clemont doesn't turn on the light, instead making his way towards the centre of the workshop by moonlight and memory. Just as well I cleaned up in here yesterday.
Ash looks almost ethereal in the moonlight, skin glowing and hair dark as the silver light sinks into it. Clemont kneels down beside Ash's still figure, blanket settling around his heels. Pikachu jumps down to sit beside them both.
For a long time, Clemont simply stares at the still face of his best friend. It's all too easy to imagine that Ash is alive, and human, and simply sleeping – but he is too still. Even without needing to breathe, Ash is always in motion. Was always in motion.
And will be again, Clemont thinks fiercely, fingers clenching. I won't give up, Ash.
The room suddenly seems too silent, too still. "I'm sorry," he whispers, reaching out to brush Ash's fringe away from his eyes. The robot's hat rests beside him, now clean of grime and dust. Clemont suspects his father may have had something to do with that. "I'm sorry that this happened, and I'm sorry I'm not good enough yet to fix you properly. I figured out the voice code but… your file is corrupt, Ash. It's so filled with glitches and errors I don't even know where to start. I don't even know what it used to say, beyond the starting point I gave it. I don't… I have absolutely no idea how to fix it, and I'm sorry. But I'll do my best to make sure you wake up as you."
"I'm still scared," he confesses. "This whole time, I've been afraid. Of seeing you broken, of seeing what those thieves did to your code…. that you won't wake up again, or that you'll wake up and have forgotten us, or even that you'll wake up completely different." Clemont takes a deep breath, thumbing the corner of the badge still in his hand. "That fight we had, the day out in the rain… the truth is… I was scared then too. I hadn't realised just how strongly you wanted to achieve your dream. I didn't want you to go on a Pokémon journey across Kalos because it's so dangerous out there for you, but…" Clemont slumps in misery. "It ended up being just as dangerous for you to stay here too."
He opens his hand, looking down at the Voltage Badge gleaming innocently in the moonlight. He lets go of the blanket, shivering as the cool night air hits him, and reaches for one of Ash's hands. Ever so gently, Clemont places the symbol of their Gym, the badge that Ash himself had awarded Clemont, in the robot's palm and closes Ash's fingers around it. "Well," he says, determination steeling his words and his spine, "I've made my decision now. About all of this." He cracks a small smile. "But if you want to know what my decision is… you'll have to wake up and hear it from me properly." His grin widens as he imagines Ash pouting at him. ' That's no fair, Clemont!'
Clemont falls silent again, still holding onto Ash's hand. Pikachu stays beside him, a silent sentinel in the hush of the night. "There's – there's something that I should have told you, a long time ago," Clemont says eventually, swallowing against the sudden lump in his throat. "I think… I think maybe you knew already, without me needing to say it, though. I hope you did, anyway."
He closes his eyes and breathes evenly (in-out-in-out), trying to calm the tight feeling in his chest. "You are my greatest invention," he tells the robot, voice solemn and choked with unspoken emotion, "and my best friend."
"I need you," Clemont takes a deep breath, shuddering, "to be okay."
He leans down, resting his forehead against Ash's. The robot's skin is unnaturally cool without the various heating elements running. "Ash, you always manage to do the impossible… so could you do the impossible one more time for me, please? Please wake up properly."
Clemont pulls back slightly, hesitating, and then leans down to brush his lips against Ash's forehead in a good night kiss. "Good night, Ash."
He pulls back all the way this time and has to stifle a yawn that threatens to crack his jaw. Finally, finally he feels tired enough to get some rest. He glances at the door, yawning again, but with the speed he can feel himself being pulled under, he'll be lucky to even make the door with his fading strength.
Instead, he scoots over until he can lay down on the platform beside Ash, drawing the blanket over his shoulders. His glasses go above his head, beside Ash's hat. Pikachu waits until he settles before climbing onto Ash and curling up to sleep on the robot's chest. There's no pillow, but it won't be the first time Clemont has fallen asleep in uncomfortable circumstances. Being here, close to Ash, offers a peace that his bedroom cannot.
"G'night Ash, g'night Pikachu," he mumbles, barely hearing Pikachu's murmured reply before he fades off to sleep.
I'm sorryyyyyyyy -flees-
Poor Clemont D: Bet y'all didn't think I'd make things even worse mwahaha
It can only go up from here though! And on that note, only two more chapters to go! We're so close to the end!
As always, thank you very much for reading! :D