This chapter is dedicated to DulcineaIsis who had the unfortunate task of hand holding me through a crisis of creativity and managed to talk me down from the ledge and to HeartDeNijs who manages to inspire me to write even when I've been in a creative void. Both are the awesomest of the awesome.

March 6, 2012

Punk stared out the window of John's rental as they made their way to John's parent's house. His knee was bouncing up and down and he was biting his nails. He had never been one to make a very good impression on people's parents. Hell, he didn't even need to open his mouth to give them a bad opinion of him. These were John's parents, the people that had raised his boyfriend and made him the person he was today. There was no way that this could go well. His worries were confirmed when John stopped in front of a house with 4 cars in the driveway and more lining the street.

"I thought this was just supposed to be us and your parents?"

"It seems my brothers decided to call in sick today."

"Didn't they have enough fun at my expense last night?" Punk questioned out loud but in his mind was the graphic threat of his own death that had been issued the night before. They exited the car and Punk grabbed John's hand and held it tightly in his own.

"Are you nervous or something?"

"Me, nervous, ha!"

"You are, that's so cute," John leaned over and kissed him and Punk heard the door open and immediately pulled away. There was no getting that moment back. The first thing John's mother had seen of him was him making out with her son on her doorstep.

"Johnny!" John's mom came forward and wrapped John in a hug and kissed him on the cheek. "You must be Phil," and John's Mom hugged him and kissed him on the cheek as well. "You are the popular one. The whole family showed up bright and early this morning even though none of them had been invited. I had to send your Dad out to buy enough food to feed an army. I know they're not here to see Johnny," and John's Mom led them into the living room.

"Johnny, huh?"

"You even start with that and you'll open yourself up to all kinds of endearments, darling."

Punk entered the living room and his eyes widened comically and his mouth dropped open. This wasn't just John's brothers; it was their wives and their small children. He found himself passed around by the wives while their husbands stared him down behind their backs. He was going to end up buried in the backyard, he just knew it.

"The provisions are here can I get a hand?" John's Dad walked past with bags of groceries blocking his view of the living room. Punk watched in shock as John's previously intimidating brothers were fixed with piercing looks from their wives and they all stood up and immediately went outside to help bring in the groceries. Apparently the only thing Cena men feared were their wives. Punk had never had the opportunity to order John around to do menial things he didn't want to do but it was good to know that he was susceptible just the same.

Punk felt a hand settle on his shoulder and turned to face John's Dad.

"So, how about we go into my den and I'll lecture you about preserving my son's virtue while I clean a gun?"

"Dad, you don't own a gun," John said with exasperation.

"Well, they do it on TV all the time."

"And how does that usually work out for them?"

"Their teenage daughters usually end up pregnant."

"What have you been watching?"

"Your mother loves her Lifetime for Women. I've learned if I want to continue to have use of my hands its best not to try to go for the remote."

Punk watched as the Cena wives made a space in the middle of them on the couch and waved him over. He realized his fear had been misplaced. It was the wives he should have really been afraid of.

"So how did you and John get together?"

Punk looked at John in panic. What was he going to say? I beat your brother for his Championship and then invited him over for sex through the use of a greeting card?

"Oh, you know, we work together, it just kind of happened naturally."

"Phil, just from first glance I think there probably wasn't anything natural about it. How about telling us the truth?"

"John busted into my hotel room in the middle of the night and started kissing me without any warning whatsoever. I thought he was there to kick my ass."

"John made the first move? How uncharacteristic of him. You must have…hidden depths."

Punk recognized the hungry looks on their faces. They wanted the dirty details. They were like Melina x 3.

"Do you even watch the show? Because if you did you would know that Phil here isn't hiding very much."

"Excuse me, ladies," and Punk walked across the room to where John's brothers were standing. He had to get out of there before he started spewing details of his and John's sex life through whatever enhanced interrogation techniques they might try to submit him to. He turned around and the women were all staring at him and whispering. He didn't care if John's brothers wanted to mangle his body with garden implements, he was far safer across the room with them.

"You look frightened," one of John's brothers said with a resigned tone.

"Don't worry; we wear that look every day of our lives."

"Come on, I want you to meet Sean. He had his treatment the day before yesterday and he's still a little weak," John said. They walked down the hallway and into a bedroom where John's brother was propped up by pillows reading "Watchmen."

"So you're the one that's holding my brother hostage."

"It's more like I can't be trusted to be by myself. You read comics?"

"I know I'm a little old for them."

"Are you kidding, you're never too old. It's all I read. Ever read Ed Brubaker's stuff?"

"No, but I've heard the name."

"He's excellent, you should check it out."

Punk looked back at John and could tell that he wanted some time with his brother. "It was nice to meet you," and Punk headed back to the living room.

Punk felt a tug on his hand and looked down to see one of the kids.

"Come play with us."

Punk let himself be led to an empty patch of carpet and saw that the kids were seated around a toy ring with a pile of action figures next to it.

"This one is you," and Punk was given an old action figure of his that was decorated haphazardly with markers.

"It's time for a match!"

Punk put his action figure in the ring and saw that he was being taken on by four different John Cena action figures. Poor, plastic CM Punk never stood a chance.

"Uncle John rules!"

"Yes he does." Punk looked up to find John staring at him with a soft smile on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing.

Punk ended up seated between John and his mother at the table. Regardless of all the crazy he had encountered in the Cena family with everyone seated around the table you could tell that they all actually liked each other. Punk wasn't used to such a loving family unit and it made him a little sad because of all the things that he had missed growing up. After breakfast had ended he and John needed to head to the airport to catch their flight. John's family waved goodbye and John's parents walked them to the door. John's Dad slapped him on the back and John's mother drew him in for a hug and whispered in his ear.

"Make an honest man of my son…soon," and Punk's mother stepped back with a sly smile on her face.

Once he and John entered the privacy of the rental car John turned to him and kissed him fiercely. Punk pushed him back.

"Your family is probably watching from the window."

"I don't care. They loved you. See, you had nothing to be worried about. You're officially a member of the Cena clan now."

Punk looked at John and waited for it to dawn on him exactly what he had said but John didn't seem to notice it. He would only be officially a member of the Cena clan when John put a ring on his finger and he realized that's exactly what he wanted.

March 12, 2012

Monday Night Raw

"Please God tell me that I'm seeing things and you are not seriously getting ready to go out there like that," Punk said when he caught sight of John's clothing when he walked into the locker room after a useless conversation with a road agent in which he found out he was not scheduled for a match which meant that he could be summoned at any moment to face anyone on the roster than Clown Shoes saw fit. Punk felt like his eyes were burning when he took in the throwback jersey, the backwards hat and the padlock necklace. Punk walked closer to John so that they wouldn't be overheard.

"I'll give you anything you want, do anything you want, if you change into your normal attire."

"As promising as that proposition sounds I do have to go out there and rap."

"I don't care what you're going out there to do. I promise I'll never mock your monthly t-shirt redesigns again. I did not sign up to date the Doctor of Thuganomics."

"You know you love me."

"I love you, not your clothes. If you somehow manage to knock yourself out with that padlock I'm going to laugh my ass off."

Punk took a seat next to Kofi in the monitor bay to watch John possibly make an ass out of himself. Kofi didn't have a match but was there for possible backup in the case of any Laurinaitis/Long hostilities. Punk wanted to tell Kofi that he was crazy to get mixed up in all that mess but he understood the overwhelming urge to be involved in any amount of lunacy just to get to wrestle under the bright lights of WrestleMania. He himself had once dressed like a gangster and stood on the side of John's car. It wasn't his finest moment but it was WrestleMania all the same.

The signature cut on and John's old music cued up. He really was going all out with this, he hoped, temporary personality shift. The first thing that hit him when John came through the curtain was how young John looked, even though quite a few years had passed since John had adopted this particular persona. While Punk had to admit that John had his moments out there tearing the Rock apart through rhyme he noticed that it only lasted for a few minutes while he knew that Rock would probably be out there for half the show. Punk watched the hallway and John didn't keep walking toward the locker room to change but took the seat next to him in all his faux gangster glory.

"Don't think I wasn't watching you out there. You did almost knock yourself out with your padlocked accessory," Punk said with a smile.

"If you have any memory of the recent past you would remember that this padlock has made contact with quite a few heads. Unless you want to be padlocked to the bedpost tonight you'll ease up with the jokes. I think the Rock probably has that covered tonight."

"While I'm not averse to being restrained in all sorts of interesting ways I think actual chains might be pushing it. I'll try to refrain from making fun or at least I'll only do it in my head or talk very quietly so that only Kofi can hear me."

"You're impossible."

The Long vs. Laurinaitis feud again degenerated into complete foolishness. He just shook his head as Kofi ran out to make the save only to be laid out by Henry and Otunga for his troubles.

"I apologize for mocking the padlock. I should have just asked to borrow it and chain Kofi to the chair to prevent him from being part of this clusterfuck," Punk said to John, toying with the hardware around his neck. "Even if he got away at least he would have a chair with him to take to the ring."

The only upside to the shenanigans was Laurinaitis again being laid out on his ass by Long, toppling him into the announcers.

Punk started laughing after Laurinaitis announced that he would be facing the Miz with the stipulation that if the Miz beat him he would get a spot on Team Johnny.

"I'm going out there and I'm going to throw the match. Laurinaitis needs as many talentless losers on his team as possible."

"You do that and you'll have the Miz coming out every week and demanding a title match."

"No he won't. Jericho will knock him unconscious before he even gets to the curtain. Jericho couldn't bear to share the spotlight with anyone."

"Do you really want to pull a move made famous by Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan in WCW?"

"You have a point there. I guess I'll just have to go out there and kick Miz's ass though I really don't want to."

The appearance of Shawn and the Undertaker quieted the room down as it usually did when such revered veterans of the business appeared in the ring. Sure, he and Hunter were friends of a sort but he was taking on the Undertaker whose exploits were legendary. At the end of it all Hunter showed up on the ramp and briefly locked eyes with Shawn. He couldn't tell if they were allies or not.

Punk got up and made his way to the arena entrance to face Miz. It didn't take Punk long to put away Miz with the Anaconda Vise. He thought that Miz owed him a thank you letter for preventing him from being caught up in this GM mess. He was celebrating his win when Jericho showed up on the Tron.

It sounded like every other argument Jericho made until he declared him a fraud as a person. It felt like he had been punched in the stomach when Jericho announced to the entire WWE Universe that his father was an alcoholic. He just stared at the screen in shock as Jericho went on revealing some of his darkest childhood memories for everyone to hear. He shut his eyes as if that could make this all end, the Championship slipping from his fingers and landing on the mat. Punk knew Jericho was a nasty piece of work but he had never sunk to this level before, gleefully demolishing the armor Punk had armed himself with all his life. Jericho had given voice to his most deep seated nightmare. The Tron cut off and Punk had to force himself to pick up the belt from the mat. Was having the Championship worth the emotional devastation Jericho had just caused?

He walked up the ramp slowly, unsure if enduring the scrutiny of the crowd or facing the roster was worse. He cleared the curtain to find John waiting for him and Hunter standing off to the side, not even looking him in the eye.

"Jericho's not here tonight. There's a private locker room a few doors down from my office," and Hunter walked away without ever addressing Punk directly. John grabbed his hand and led him down the hallway until they reached the locker room. John locked the door behind them and Punk sank onto the bench, the Championship slipping from his grasp and clattering to the floor.

"He wasn't lying, everything he said was the truth," Punk said quietly, staring at the floor, unwilling to look John in the eye, afraid of what he might see there. "Is this fucking thing worth so much that he would rip my life apart just to have it," Punk said, kicking the belt and sending it skittering across the floor.

John got on his knees in front of Punk and sunk his fingers into Punk's hair forcing Punk to look him in the eye.

"I know my childhood isn't exactly a secret. Anyone who was a fan of Ring of Honor or knew what to look for on the internet already knows about my Dad, but that was so long ago. I was young and angry and it felt liberating to get all that pain out into the open but I had moved beyond it, put it behind me, and here Jericho comes flaunting it in front of a million people."

"Phil, listen to me…"

"No! I will not listen to you. You don't have any clue what it's like to go through your life with memories like this haunting you. How could you? I've seen what your family is like, remember? You don't have the slightest notion what this is like for me," Punk yelled, pulling the padlock and chain from John's neck and sending it flying across the room, shattering the mirror on the wall. Punk jumped from his seat and punched what was left of the mirror until the fight was drained out of him.

"Fucking hell, Phil," John said, taking hold of Punk's hand and looking at the mess of bloody gauze that was left on his right hand. John quickly unwrapped Punk's other wrist and wrapped it around his fist to stop the bleeding. "We're going to have to go get this looked at."

"No!"

"Don't no me Philip Brooks," John said loudly, slinging the forgotten Championship belt over one shoulder and leading Punk with his good hand to the trainer's room. Punk sat on the table, John sitting next to him, curling his hand around Punk's bare knee while the trainer picked out a few shards of glass and butterflied the lacerations shut.

"We can leave. We can get our things and catch the next flight out of here to Tampa. Hunter could get us out of the house shows."

"I am not going to look weak. I am not going to let Jericho rob me of all the credibility it's taken me years to build up."

"Fine. Tape his wrists back up," John ordered the trainer who obeyed without question.

When Punk's wrists were wrapped back up John grabbed a marker and redrew the X's back over Punk's fists. They walked back to the monitor bay and just as it was just around the corner Punk stopped and took a few deep breaths and squeezed John's hand. Punk let go and waltzed into the monitor bay, taking a seat in the front row in full view of the entire roster. Punk could hear them whispering behind his back but Punk just stared straight ahead at the monitor even though he was processing none of it.

Nothing was really registering until the Rock came out. He leaned over to look at John's phone; he was going to have to sit through 20 minutes of this. Punk realized it was going to be truly unbearable when it became clear that the Rock only knew the basic fingering for a few bars of "Jailhouse Rock" that he played over and over again and all the Rock's clever barbs just ran together into a white noise.

John kept one ear on the Rock but the majority of his attention was on Punk who seemed to be somewhere trapped in his own head. John tried to get Punk's attention by filling the void with the clever commentary that Punk usually supplied.

"Did Dwayne just compare me to Vanilla Ice and the Teletubbies? What decade does he think we're living in?"

"Is he actually working from notes on that music stand? If he's that rusty doing promos what is he going to be like in the ring?"

"My Mom would never have sex with Dwayne, she has standards and I'm pretty sure he's picked up some form of VD with all the sex he brags about having."

"He doesn't have the slightest clue what the words are to "We Will Rock You," and the words are running across the screen with a little bouncing ball."

They made their way back to the locker room to get their things and headed to the hotel. Punk walked straight into the bathroom and John heard the shower cut on. He desperately wanted to join Punk in the shower to make sure he was okay but John knew Punk needed some time alone. If John pushed too hard Punk would withdraw completely as he tended to do in times of emotional stress. John stripped down to his boxers and packed away the clothes that Punk had found so hilarious earlier in the night. He dug through his things until he found the sewing kit he had taken from one of the hotels they had stayed in. He held the cardboard square in his hand for a few moments before stowing it back in his suitcase.

John took a seat on the bed and waited for Punk to come out of the bathroom. He was starting to get worried as the minutes ticked by. Punk eventually emerged with a towel wrapped around his waist and pulled on a pair of boxers from his bag. He laid on the bed with his back to John.

"Can you turn off the lamp please?"

John obeyed and plunged the room into darkness. He laid down beside Punk on the bed but did not move to touch him. He was at a loss as to what to do in this situation. Minutes passed and John's worry increased until Punk reached behind him and pulled John's arm around him, pulling John's body flush against his own. If John couldn't find the words to make this better at least he could do this.