March 27, 2012

"Get up. Time for WrestleMania week to begin," John said. Punk opened his eyes and John leaned in to give him a soft kiss.

"I don't care how many kisses you try to bribe me with but I am not looking forward to all the media crazy. I just want to wrestle."

"You are the WWE Champion. You wear the belt you get the responsibilities that go along with it."

"That's the first valid argument I've heard for Jericho taking my belt."

"All we have to do today is the press conference."

"I'm overcome with joy at the thought."

They gathered their things and made their way to the airport with a small group of the Raw roster. The GM clusterfuck required a large contingent of the Raw roster to be at the Smackdown taping that night.

"Not to sound entitled or anything but why aren't we taking the jet?" Punk said as they made their way through security.

"I'm sure the Rock, his entourage and his colossal ego is taking up all the seats."

"I know I've told anyone who will listen that the Rock doesn't deserve to be in the main event but now that he's been back on a regular basis I can't deny that I just want to see the back of him," Punk said while taking off his shoes and going through the scanner.

"Yeah, good luck with that when he's going to be dropping in occasionally for the lead up to the next WrestleMania."

"What in the hell are you talking about?"

"You didn't see the press conference?"

"I've been busy being persecuted by Jericho."

"The Rock's going to be involved in some way at the next WrestleMania."

"We're going to have to go through all this again?" Punk whined, as he was pulling on his shoes and gathering his things. Punk looked up when John went through the scanner and it started beeping.

"Sir, do you have anything in your pockets?"

"Uh, no. Nothing metal anywhere on me."

"Try again, sir."

The scanner beeped again.

"I'm going to have to ask you to step over there behind the privacy curtain for a body search."

Punk waited impatiently for John to finally come out. He emerged with a female TSA agent who was staring directly at Punk with a wide smile on her face.

"What did you do to her; she's smiling so much I think she's going to sprain a muscle. Did you let her feel you up or something?"

"It wasn't a big thing. It turned out that I had some change in my pocket that I forgot about."

They finally boarded the plane and took their seats in the front row of first class with the rest of the roster filling up the compartment. Punk lifted the arm rest and lifted John's arm to wrap around his shoulders and laid his head on John's chest.

"Wake me when we get there."

Punk slept through the entire flight and after they deplaned John hurried them to catch their ride to the hotel. They entered their room and John opened his suitcase and retrieved his suit.

"We only have 15 minutes before we have to leave for the press conference."

"Unless you've become extremely high maintenance without me noticing I think we're fine."

John started pulling on his clothes but noticed that Punk wasn't moving from his spot reclining against the headboard.

"We really need to hurry, start changing."

"I'm not changing."

"I'm pretty sure this thing has a dress code."

"They didn't hire me for my debonair fashion sense so they can take what they get."

"I hesitate to ask but you did bring a suit for the Hall of Fame induction?"

"Yeah, it's in my bag," Punk said, moving to his suitcase and pulling out a crumpled mess of black fabric.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"What?"

"The hotel probably has dry cleaning. We'll take care of it when we get back. If you're not wearing a suit neither am I, and John pulled his jorts and t-shirt back on.

John and Punk arrived at the hotel and walked backstage meeting Hunter who was directing traffic, trying to get the event to go well while also keeping certain camps as far away from each other as possible. He looked up at them and zeroed in on John and Punk.

"What the hell is wrong with you two? Did you not get the message that there was a dress code?"

"Must have missed that one," Punk said with a laugh.

"Do you even own a suit?"

"I do, it just happens to be incapacitated at the moment."

"I'm tempted not to even let you go out there."

"Works for me."

"Knowing you, you probably intentionally dressed this way to get out of the press conference. I know this dress down idea was probably Punk's doing so I'm not even going to say a thing to you John."

When it was Punk's turn to go out he walked onto the stage in his Colt of Personality t-shirt and baggy jeans. John knew it was only going to go downhill from there when the first question Punk got was to take off his shirt. Punk continued on, throwing out a profanity or two and getting in his requisite insult of Laurinaitis.

"I am never letting him do another one of these again," Hunter said, clearly exasperated with Punk's performance.

Punk's clothing again was brought up on his way off the stage when he was offered $100 to take off his shirt and Punk seemed to be seriously considering it. Punk looked briefly to the side of the stage and an angry Hunter was motioning emphatically to get off the stage.

"You're a complete ass, do you know that? John, I have no idea how you put up with him on a daily basis."

"I wonder that sometimes myself but he's my ass and I have to tolerate the crazy, even if he's offering to strip down during a press conference which he knows he's going to pay for later."

Punk just stuck his tongue out at John.

"You're too classy for words Punk, really," Hunter said with annoyance.

March 28, 2012

The morning started off with a tortuous meeting that morning that should have been a simple rah rah WrestleMania meeting but actually turned out to be a meeting about Twitter hash tagging that included a power point presentation with Vince at the helm and Stephanie and Hunter standing close by. Punk thought there was something seriously wrong with the world if this was considered a matter of high importance. Punk immediately sent out a tweet that used every single hash tag that was on the screen, and by the looks of his Twitter feed many of his colleagues had the same thoughts about the moronacy of the meeting.

He and John were about to leave when Hunter called them over to the front of the room and held them there until the room had completely cleared out and then Hunter and Stephanie both stepped away and left them with Vince.

"Stephanie and Hunter shared some interesting information with me on the plane ride here. They didn't want me to be shocked at what I might see, that being you two all over each other. I have to admit that they were probably overstating the situation because I watched you during the meeting and neither of you did anything to betray what is actually going on between you two. It has to stay that way. You're allowed a certain amount of freedom in the backstage area but all it takes is one disaffected co-worker and it's going to be all over the dirt sheets. I'm actually surprised that you two haven't been outted. Things will not go well for you two should this get out. It's not a threat; I'm just stating the obvious. John Cena and CM Punk? I would never have put my money on that one. John, do you mind if I speak to Punk alone please."

John stepped away and Vince leaned against the table behind him and was silent for a few moments.

"I really hate to say this but I just wanted to tell you what a good job you're doing as Champion. I certainly didn't think you could possibly handle it but the crowd adores you and you're actually entertaining to watch as opposed to some former Champions who shall not be named. I live for the mocking of Laurinaitis. He does his job well but I find myself more often than not wanting to slap the taste out of his mouth but I guess I can leave that up to you. I know we haven't gotten along in the past so that's why I brought a peace offering."

Vince reached under the table and pulled out a small cooler. Punk opened it up, removed the dry ice on top to find ice cream bars with his likeness on the package.

"Don't get too excited, these were a special order, but I wanted to say thanks and figured this was the best way to say that," and Vince walked away with Stephanie and Hunter in tow.

Punk and John went their separate ways for they say and when Punk returned from his shift at Axxess he found John lying face down on the bed.

"Rough day?"

"I know I'm supposed to be the go to guy for these types of things but if I never have to do another interview it will be too soon. I'm just repeating the same things over and over."

"And just think we have 2 more days of this. Maybe you should adopt my philosophy and start taking bids to take off your clothes."

"About that…"

"Wasn't it hilarious?"

"To you maybe. Hunter looked like he was 30 seconds away from an aneurism and you know I'm not best pleased when you're being treated like a sex object but unfortunately I couldn't go into the crowd and strong arm a female reporter. Try not to sell your body for money again I beg you."

"You'll never guess what happened at Axxess."

"You made a fan cry with your razor sharp wit."

"There were tears but they were tears of joy. There was a marriage proposal right in front of my table. It was pretty cool. I am able to inspire matrimony all around me," Punk said nonchalantly to see if he could get a reaction from John from the statement but John didn't even blink. Maybe Punk was living in some sort of fantasy land where he and John were going to one day tie the knot. What if everyone was wrong and John just wanted him to be his live-in boyfriend for the rest of their lives. Punk knew he should just bite the bullet and propose himself but he was too afraid or rejection, too afraid that John would just tell him flat out 'No.'

March 31, 2012

John waited impatiently for Punk to emerge from the bathroom. Punk had taken his suit in there 20 minutes ago and had still not emerged. John rose from the bed and knocked on the bathroom door.

"What exactly is the hold up in there? We're going to be late for the Hall of Fame Induction ceremony."

"Then go without me, I'm not coming out of this bathroom, I look like a fool. Suits are not standard operating procedure for CM Punk."

"It's just a suit, come on we need to leave."

Punk came out of the bathroom and John's eyes widened and he could feel his breath stick in his throat.

"Hello James Bond."

"That's it. I'm going to fake an illness."

"You look beyond hot in that suit."

"Well take a mental picture because it's never going to happen again."

"I wouldn't bet on that if I were you. I'm sure there's going to be future events that will require you donning this suit again."

"Oh really?"

"Really."

"Well come on Pussy Galore. The sooner this is over the sooner I can't get out of this suit."

They arrived at the small arena that had been chosen for the ceremony. The main roster members were milling around the backstage area. It was a tradition that the higher placed wrestlers escort the widows of famous wrestlers. John was assigned Arnold Skaaland's wife. John looked for Punk in the press of people and found him with Lita who had her hand tucked into the crook of Punk's arm. This was completely unacceptable. Everyone else got gray haired old ladies to entertain and Punk was going to be spending the night with Lita of the roaming hands. He felt a hand rest on his forearm.

"Son, if you would listen to a little advice from an older person who's seen a lot more than you have in the world…"

"Yes?"

"Walk over there and stake your claim on your man. That woman looks like a trollop and it would probably better it nip this in the bud as soon as possible."

John nodded and walked over to Punk and Lita, removing Lita's hand from Punk's person.

"Listen, woman. I don't hit women but if you don't get your hands off my boyfriend I'm going to give you a black eye to match that slutty black dress you're wearing."

"I didn't know…" Lita said with a smile.

"You did damn well know, I can see it all over your face. Keep your hands to yourself before you lose them."

John walked back over to Mrs. Skaaland who patted John's hand.

"That was well done Mr. Cena. I can see your young man thought so too."

John looked back over to Punk who was staring at John with a sly grin with a petulant Lita standing next to him, her hands crossed over her chest.

John searched the room for the Rock and couldn't find him anywhere. Yokozuna was a family member of his and he still didn't show up for the ceremony? He could add being completely classless to the ever growing list of things he couldn't stand about the Rock.

The ceremony was going well until he was tapped on the shoulder by Mrs. Skaaland.

"It looks like the little hussy is back at it again."

Sure enough Lita kept making attempts to hold Punk's hand who kept slapping Lita's away.

"Son, how about I go take care of this for you. Sometimes a little chat female to female is all that's needed."

During the next break Mrs. Skaaland rose and walked down to where Punk was being molested incessantly. John couldn't tell what was said but Lita seemed shocked at whatever was coming out of the older woman's mouth. John was confused when Lita rose and Mrs. Skaaland took her seat causing Lita to take a seat next to John who stared her down in disgust.

"What did I tell you…"

"Nothing that I bothered listening to but that woman was scary. I've never been called a jezebel before."

April 1, 2012

WrestleMania

Punk and John walked into the arena and immediately clasped hands after the door shut behind them. Now that the media blitz was through all they had on their minds were their matches. There was symmetry between their matches because both were defending their hard won reputations and a loss would destroy everything that had worked so hard for. They found their way to their locker room. While shared locker rooms were the norm in the WWE, for one night only everyone involved in the pay per view were given a private locker room. WrestleMania was too much of an investment to have some melee take place backstage and disrupt the carefully planned event. Punk and John settled on the couch to watch the feed of the event, not bothering to put on their gear since both of their matches would be in the closing hour of the four hour event.

John and Punk were both shocked when Daniel lost to Sheamus in mere seconds. Punk fully believed that Daniel had gone round the bend but if he broke a friendship with every person that went a little wacky he wouldn't have many friends and Punk and Daniel's past counted for a lot. Then Randy inexplicably lost to Kane which neither John nor Punk saw coming.

Cody Rhodes and Big Show were next up and while Punk didn't really have a vested interest in the match he did notice a show wide trend.

"Is it just me or does there seem to be a ton of robes at this event? Did Ric Flair go into the fashion design business and we weren't told?" Punk thought out loud.

"It's the showcase of the immortals and you notice what people are wearing?"

"When my mind isn't fully occupied it goes to strange places."

"Maybe I could help you out with that," and John pulled Punk into his lap and they proceeded to make out like overeager teenagers. Just when things were starting to get good and John had Punk grinding his hips against his, Punk slid off his lap.

"Hey, get back here!" John exclaimed.

"Sorry, don't want to miss this."

John looked up at the monitor as Triple H's music played through the arena.

"What monstrosity is Hunter using for his entrance? It looks like Satan's bounce house. I almost expected a return to the pelts and crown after that. Who convinced him that was a good idea? They had to twist my arm for me to even use pyro."

They watched as the Undertaker took around 4 minutes to reach the ring. While the Undertaker usually took a few minutes this eclipsed it by far. The match took an immediate turn for the brutal and bloodthirsty when the bell rang. John and Punk watched in silent amazement at the spectacle that was Hunter vs. Undertaker.

Hunter came out on the losing side of the effort but that didn't really matter when you had just put on a 5 star match with match of the year written all over it.

"That was seriously epic," Punk said in awe. "I know I said I was going to steal the show but there is no way in hell that I can top that."

"I'm right there with you."

The GM clusterfuck was up next and Punk had a bad feeling about the outcome of the match. Punk was relieved when the individual entrances were skipped and the teams came out as a group. If they came in one by one chances are the entrances would have taken longer than the match itself. Kofi, Truth and Booker T were the only people Punk had any respect for on Team Teddy. Khali could barely do anything that could be considered wrestling, Santino was more of a joke than anything else and he hoped that Ryder would get the shit kicked out of him. Punk hated to admit it but Laurinaitis had the far superior team. Punk burst out laughing when he saw Laurinaitis.

"What the hell is Clown Shoes wearing? It looks like he's about to baptize someone in a lake or initiate someone into a cult."

Punk was proved right about the outcome of the match, besides just descending into total anarchy, Miz managed to hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Ryder after some inexplicable participation from Eve. Laurinaitis now had full control of Raw and Smackdown and Punk had no doubt he was in for some very tough nights in his future. Even Eve kicking Ryder in the balls wasn't enough to chase away the apprehensive feeling that came over him.

Punk pulled on his gear, kissing John softly before heading for the door, stopping in the doorway and pulling the plug to the monitor out of the wall.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

"You shouldn't watch."

"Why the hell not?"

"It's going to get nasty out there. Jericho didn't do all the things he's done to walk into WrestleMania and take me on honestly. The last thing you need to see before your match with the Rock is me getting screwed out of the title."

John rose to his feet and stood close to Punk, plugging the monitor back in.

"You're going to win, I know it," John said, holding Punk close.

"You know best," and Punk slipped out of the room.

A few seconds later the door opened again and Punk leaned in just far enough so his head was visible, "Actually, I know best."

Punk had barely made it a few feet from his dressing room when he the victorious Laurinaitis faction passed him in the hallway. It was too much to ask for Laurinaitis just to pass him by and keep walking. He was at WrestleMania to take on Jericho not to have any sort of conversation with Clown Shoes. He tried his very best to restrain himself but it was all for nothing when Laurinaitis decided to fuck around with his match minutes before it was about to start. Laurinaitis added the stipulation that if he was disqualified the title would change hands. Punk was never one for getting himself intentionally disqualified but with an opponent like Jericho and all the shit he had rained down on him leading to WrestleMania he would have to restrain himself which wouldn't be easy. He was incensed and wished he could get some sort of control over himself but it was a useless task. When he reached the gorilla position he could tell that Jericho had already been informed of the stipulation due to the manic gleam in Jericho's eyes.

He entered the arena after Jericho and staring Jericho down Punk knew that if he couldn't fight the stipulation he could work around it. He smirked at Jericho and the match began as the technical display of maneuvers that he expected started off the match. It didn't last long when Punk saw his opening and trapped Jericho in the corner, throwing kicks and punches and backing off right before the official could disqualify him. He went to charge Jericho again when he stood up and slapped Punk across the face before cowering back into his corner. Punk turned his back, trying to get his emotions under control and just when Punk thought he had calmed down Jericho responded with two more slaps and retreated back to the corner again. Punk followed him there and with what Punk defined as herculean effort he backed off before he was disqualified. He was playing Jericho's game, getting more and more angry with Jericho dishing out slaps, maligning his family and basically taunting Punk to disqualify himself. Punk lost his temper and made a misstep and found himself on the receiving end of a suplex to the floor. After that it was Jericho trying to further injure his back, softening Punk up for the Walls of Jericho.

As the match finally became a back and forth of offense it dawned on Punk that he and Jericho had more in common than just calling themselves best in the world. They seemed to be working from the same repertoire of moves. He hit Jericho with the GTS but he was too hurt to cover him immediately and Jericho draped his foot on the ropes. Punk rallied again and set Jericho up for a hurricanrana. He performed the move perfectly but somehow, and Punk really had no idea how, but he ended up in the Walls of Jericho. He was in excruciating pain but he somehow managed to reverse the move that led to a series of close pinning combinations traded between them. Punk maneuvered Jericho into the Anaconda Vise. Jericho resorted to hair pulling and knees to the back of his skull, getting partially loose from the move but Punk kept finding ways to lock it back in, changing the hold each time to negate whatever Jericho had used to disrupt the hold. Punk finally locked in the Vise, far away from any offense Jericho might muster. Punk could hardly believe it when Jericho tapped. He collapsed next to Jericho and then the strangest thing happened. He felt a hand lightly scratch at his sweat dampened hair. If it had been anyone else doing the scratching Punk would almost call it affectionate, like Jericho was congratulating him on a hard fought match but that couldn't be the motivation, could it? Jericho seceded the ring to him and Punk celebrated, enjoying his WrestleMania moment.

John was waiting for Punk as he cleared the curtain. Punk dropped his hard won belt and threw his arms around John's neck; kissing him like there was no tomorrow even though they were in full view of quite a few people.

"What in the blue hell!"

Both men broke the kiss and turned around. Jericho was standing a few feet from Punk holding the Championship belt and the Rock was a little further back staring in shock at what he had just seen. Jericho rolled his eyes at the Rock.

"If you ever spoke to anyone beyond your entourage you would have known all about them. I had only been back for half an hour when I got the whole tragicomic tale. We're all thankful you're blind to anything that doesn't involve you because there are only so many gay jokes that we can handle," Jericho said disdainfully, turning to face Punk.

"Turn around."

"Why? So you can bash me over the head with my own belt."

"John can see everything I'm doing, just turn around."

Punk reluctantly turned around, Jericho settling the belt around Punk's waist and snapping it into place. Punk turned to face Jericho, wary of what Jericho was up to.

"You were the better man…tonight. I'll see you at Raw," and Jericho said, ruffling Punk's hair like he did in the ring and turned on his heel and walked down the hall.

"Jericho seemed almost like a human being there for a second, but if there's any more illicit hair stroking I'm going to steal his precious jacket and stomp on it until I break every gaudy light," John said with a tint of suspicion in his voice.

"Don't expect it to last," Punk turned to John and kissed him one last time. "Have fun out there, kick ass."

Punk turned around to face the Rock.

"Will you stop gawking at us, you look like a fool. By the way, John's lady parts…" Punk said as he walked to where the Rock was standing. He leaned up to whisper something in the Rock's ear and John could swear that he saw the man blush. Punk turned and waved at John and walked down the hallway back to their locker room.

AN: The WrestleMania chapter turned out to be massive so I'm splitting it up into two parts. Reviews shall bring forth the 2nd part. Enjoy!