Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns Twilight. I do not. I do however, own my 'gang'.

A/N: Also thanks to my awesome Beta, Blueboarderchick.

Thank you to my reviewers.

I must warn you guys that you might be pissed at Jacob at the end of this chapter. I want you to read this chapter carefully.

Take in what is said and what is not said.

The move to the Bella only section is only temporary. I will move it back to J/B after her return home.

Chapter 19

Oh God. I was officially freaking out as I sat in my car, parked outside of Remy's Alley, which was a popular hangout for college kids. Dillon and I made plans to meet inside after I insisted he not pick me up. That would make it seem like it was a date when it wasn't. Plus having my car would give me an easy escape route. The last thing I wanted to do was to get stuck in a car with Dillon if our lunch went bad. I chose Remy's Ally because of its laid back atmosphere. If it was up to Dillon we would be eating at some expensive restaurant somewhere.

I glanced in my rearview mirror, for what seemed like the hundredth time, to check my appearance. My face was doing a great imitation of a tomato. Opening the car door, I stepped out hoping to get some fresh air and calm my nerves. Glancing down at my outfit, I was wearing dark wash jeans, a faux-wrap V-neck tunic and my hair was in a breezy ponytail.

Walking up to the door, I took a deep breath to calm myself then I opened the door and went in. Inside Remy's, the décor had an upscale feel to it with a lot of college related signs on the walls. As I looked around for Dillon, I spotted him sitting alone in a booth. He was wearing jeans and a blue polo shirt that really brought out his eyes. His face lit up when he saw me and he waved me over.

I slipped into the seat across from him. "Hey, sorry I'm late."

"I was worried you weren't coming." He grinned and I rolled my eyes. Dillon knew damn well I would show up.

"A deal's a deal, Dillon." I picked up my menu.

"So is that the only reason you came today?" I glanced up to see him looking at me intently.

I blushed and mumbled, "Sort of." I really didn't want to hurt his feelings but if it weren't for the favor he did Ryan, we wouldn't be having lunch together. When his face looked disappointed I added quickly, "It's not the only reason. But to be fair I told you upfront that I wasn't ready to date."

He smiled and picked up his menu, "Well, I guess we'll just use this as an opportunity to get to know each other. By the way, you look beautiful." The guy sure could turn on the charm. I had to give him that.

I mumbled thanks and hid my blush behind my menu.

After the waitress left with our order we talked about our families. Dillon told me about his home in Bel Air. His father was a plastic surgeon and his mother was a socialite. I'd suspected he had a bit of preppy streak in him but for the most part he seemed pretty laid back and confident. I talked about Renee, Charlie and Phil. My life probably seemed pretty boring after I left out all the supernatural stuff.

"Hey, I forgot to thank you for helping Ryan out." I ventured.

"It didn't do any good though. I heard he declined membership this morning." He sipped his beer.

"Well, it was a nice thing for you to do." He really didn't have to go out of his way to talk to his brothers for me.

"You do know I only did that because you asked, right? I didn't do it for Ryan." By the tone of his voice I sensed that Ryan's dislike of him went both ways. I decided to change the subject.

"Dean Cooper sure scared the crap out of us last night." I laughed.

His face lit up in surprise. "You were there?"

"Yeah, but only until Dean Cooper started shooting at us. We spent the rest of the night running from his dog." The waitress arrived with our food and we dove in.

Dillon looked thoroughly impressed. "Wow. You really have a wild streak. I can't wait to see it for myself." He flashed a smile that I would've been dazzled by if he was a vampire.

As we ate, conversation flowed easily. He told me some stories about frat life that made me break out in fits of giggles. He had a sarcastic sense of humor that was refreshing. When we were finished with lunch, he walked me out to my car.

Standing on the passenger side of my car I turned to say goodbye to Dillon. "Thanks for lunch, Dillon. It was nice." I fiddled with my keys nervously.

"See, it wasn't so bad and I can promise you an even better time on our first real date. So what'd you say?" His lips curled into a smile and I couldn't help but smile back. He really was cute. Maybe when I was ready to date, I would date him.

"Still not interested in dating but I'll let you know when. Okay?" I laughed.

"Okay." He lean in and gave me a hug that lasted a tad bit too long then kissed me on the cheek.

I got in my car and waved at him as I drove away. All in all, it wasn't the terrible experience I feared it would've been. Dillon was nice enough without being too pushy. When I got back to the apartment I was bombarded with questions from my friends.

"How did it go?" Liz inquired.

"How was your lunch at Chez Boring?" Taylor grumbled moodily. Ever since he found out about my lunch with Dillon he'd been in a pissy mood.

"Did you kiss him?" Leave it to pervert Zach.

"Did he touch you, Izzy? Because if he did, Dillon Buchanon and I are gonna have a misunderstanding." This burst of testosterone came from Ryan as he cracked his knuckles.

I threw my keys on the side table and sat down on the couch in between Liz and Ryan. "Relax. We had lunch at Remy's. No, I did not kiss him and he did not touch me. Well… not like that. I didn't have a terrible time."

"So are you going to date him now?" Liz grinned hopefully.

"No. But it was nice getting to know him a little." I decided to leave it at that. I wasn't ready to make any romantic steps just yet.

About month after the whole fraternity business I got the call I'd been dreading. And it didn't even come from the person I'd been expecting it to. The gang and I were watching Comedy Central one night when my cell rang.

I was too lazy to get up from my position next to Taylor. "Liz, could you get that for me please?"

Liz grabbed the phone from the couch and passed it to me. "Here you go."

I flipped the phone open and answered without looking at the number first. "Hello." I answered.

I'd been expecting Leah's call but it wasn't her on the on the end. "You lied to me." At that moment I felt my heart stop because it wasn't Leah's voice. It was Jacob's. This only meant one thing. Leah slipped up in her thoughts while she was phased and now Jacob knew everything. I could felt the blood drain from my face.

Finding my voice, I stuttered, "I-I didn't lie." By this time I'd drawn the attention of everyone with the tone of my voice. I couldn't have this conversation in front of them.

I had to get the hell out of there. Dashing out of the room, I narrowly missed stepping on Zach as he lay on the floor. I stumbled into my room and sat dumbly on my bed in the darkness.

"Bullshit, Bella. You said you left because you didn't want to be like your mom. Now I find out from Leah… fucking Leah of all people that you left me because of imprinting! You lied to me!" He bellowed into the phone and I cringed. I'd never heard him so angry before. I barely recognized his voice. He sounded so harsh and cold.

"Would you have let me go if I'd told you the truth?" I demanded.

"You know I damn well wouldn't have let you go. You're there a few months and already some maniac tries to kill you and you didn't even call me. I could have kept you safe." He grumbled.

"I don't need you to keep me safe, Jacob. I can take care of myself," I spat angrily. He made it sound like I was a feeble invalid and I resented the hell out of it.

"You still ended up in the hospital. How the hell do you call that taking care of yourself?" He growled sarcastically.

"Because I fucking survived, that's how." I couldn't believe he was acting that way. I thought he'd be proud of me. "You're just upset that you didn't get to play hero. You always liked saving the damsel in distress, didn't you?" My voice was bitter and mean. It hurt so damn much to know that he didn't believe in me. That he liked his Bells weak and defenseless.

I heard a crash over the phone as he smashed something. "How the hell can you say that to me? Don't you dare make this about me. This is about you and your fucking lies!" He snarled. Hearing the violence in his tone, I wondered again why he sounded so different.

"God! What was I supposed to do, Jake? Stay and let you break my heart? Break both our hearts? I couldn't do that to myself, not after what I went through with Edward. I would've lost my mind." I tried to make him understand.

"That's the thing about lies, Bella. How can I believe what you just said? How do I know you're not over there with the leech right now?" he growled.

Around the hurt in my chest, I answered, "If you really think that then you really don't know me at all." I shut my eyes. This is a nightmare. After all the times I'd dreamed about hearing his voice, I never expected it to be like this.

"You don't know what you've done, Bella. Things might have been different if you'd stayed." He said sadly and I felt as if there was some hidden meaning to his words. Like there was something I was missing. "I'm done, Bella. I'm through chasing after you. I don't care what you do anymore." He stated firmly.

Suddenly it me like a ton of bricks as I finally realized why he sounded the way he did. Why he could say those spiteful things to me. Needing to hear it from him, I asked, "Have you imprinted, Jacob?" The phone shook in my hand.

The ensuing silence spoke volumes. Then in a dead, toneless voice he said, "Goodbye, Bella." He hung up. I sat immobile on the bed staring at my moonlit window.

It was over. It was dead and buried, final nail in the coffin over. The pain in my chest was reminiscent of the days after Edward left me. Over and over in my mind I thought, he's not mine anymore. The thought was ridiculous because he was never really mine in the first place.

The agony in my chest intensified as I recalled the hurtful things he'd said. After everything we'd been through together, how could he even think I would go back to Edward? I wondered if he ever really knew me in the first place. That was probably the most heartbreaking thing out of everything. "How could he not know me?" I whispered to the darkness.

I wondered if the pain would overwhelm me and cause my battered heart to stop beating. At that moment I would've welcomed death with open arms. Curiously enough my eyes were still dry but I knew the tears weren't far away. Soon enough I would break. It was only a matter of time.

Liz's voice broke me out of my private musings. "Um… Izzy?"

I turned my head to look at her. I didn't hear her come in because I'd neglected to close the door when I came in. Everyone had probably heard my screaming match with Jacob.

She had a nervous grip on the cordless phone. "I know it's not a good time but it's your friend Leah. She's insisting she talk to you. I don't know… she sounds really upset."

I stretched out my hand and she placed the phone in it. I swallowed the lump in my throat and answered, "Hello."

Leah's voice came through the phone. She was practically hysterical. "Oh God, Bella. I'm so sorry. I tried to hide it but Jacob went through my thoughts… He made me show him everything…" She spoke hurriedly.

As her voice trailed off I tried to decipher the meaning of her words. "Leah, how can he do that? He doesn't have that power, Sam does."

"He does now, Bella. Jacob's Alpha. He took the position from Sam." She said sadly.

I didn't care about that. "Why didn't you tell me, Leah?"

She knew from my pained tone what I meant. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't know how to tell you about Carmen. I was trying to find the right time." Her voice was apologetic.

So little miss imprint had a name. Carmen. I bet she was perfect in all her Native American glory. "Oh. So that's her name. Carmen."

Leah sounded afraid. "Bella, I don't know when I'll be able to talk to you again or if ever. Jacob was angry, so angry. I don't-."

Whatever Leah was about to say to me was cut off by Jacob's roaring voice. "LEAH, YOU GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!" Jacob commanded in what I assumed to be his Alpha voice.

Leah sobbed and I felt afraid for her. Her voice was strained as she tried in vain to fight Jacob's order. "Bella… I'm sorry… I can't fight it." The phone went dead, just like my heart.

As my hand fell into my lap, I heard a noise. Glancing down, I saw Jacob's charm bracelet on the floor. It had broken off my wrist. Well, isn't that ironic.

Where do you go with your broken heart in tow?

What do you with the left over you?

And how do you know when to let go?

Where does the good go?

Where does the good go?

I laughed at the sadness of my situation. It was an empty, hollow sound. My laughter turned into sobs as I felt the cracks in my heart.

Jacob didn't know me. Crack.

Jacob imprinted. Crack.

I'd lost Leah as a friend. Crack.

The tears were brimming in my eyes. I felt the bed sink next to me and I turned, confused to see Liz's sympathetic gaze staring back at me.

I gasped, "Get out, Liz." My heart was breaking and I didn't want anyone to witness my misery.

Liz wrapped her arms around me a tight hug as if she was trying to hold me together. "I'm not going to let you go through this alone, Izzy."

My voice cracked, "Please go. I…want to be… alone." The only thing worse than feeling this way was feeling this way in front of others.

I tried to push her off but it was no use. Her grasp was iron-like and unyielding. Then I gave up trying to fight both Liz and the searing pain in my chest. Her body shook with the force of my sobs and hot tears ran down my cheeks. Liz was the only thing keeping me from drowning in a sea of agony. The remainder of my heart broke as I realized, it was over. Really over.

A/N: This chapter was sad to write. The lyrics belongs to the song 'Where does the good go' by Tegan and Sara.

Coming up in the next chapter Bella goes a little nuts and gets a kick in the pants.

You know what you need to do if you want your chapter early, Review!