Kurt gasped, his breathing difficult due to the hands that were currently tickling him. He, along with Wes, David, and Blaine, were having a "guy's night in." Although Blaine saw Kurt every day after school, Wes and David only saw him when he visited Dalton on the weekends. Despite a rocky start between Kurt and the two council members, they had grown to be quite good friends. Because of this, every Saturday night was devoted to a "guy's night in." They always started with a movie, but never since these nights started has a movie been viewed through the credits; hence the current tickling.
Kurt was having such a good time that he didn't notice his tee shirt (Blaine's insistence) ride up about two inches. David didn't either, until Wes subtly pointed out the curious scar tissue revealed by the lack of shirt. Immediately, both stopped tickling. Kurt stopped laughing, and Blaine stopped struggling to free him from the clutches of Wes and David.
Wes and David watched concernedly as Kurt's face shone several emotions through in quick succession: confusion, realization, fear, shame, fear again, and finally settling on ice queen.
"If you boys are done trying to stop my breathing, I think it's time for some sleep." Kurt couldn't help but put on the mask he had perfected for the bullies. He knew that Wes and David had already seen too much, but there was still a small chance that they would drop it. Very small, he amended, watching as the boys drew near. He was tense now, and he shut his eyes, hoping that the boys would get the hint.
Suddenly, he felt hands around his upper arms, and he screamed. He was no longer in Wes and David's room at Dalton. He was back in that alley, Karofsky repeating Kurt's name over and over again while slowly pulling the knife across his front, pausing after every stroke to kiss him or touch or caress him. Rough, harsh hands reached into his pants, back and front, between strokes of the knife. Kurt had repressed this memory since the attack. He couldn't stop screaming. Then he heard Blaine's voice calling him, not just his name, but calling him baby, the special pet name that Blaine reserved just for him. This snapped Kurt out of his flashback.
Kurt wouldn't even look in the direction of Wes or David, instead crawling to his boyfriend and climbing into his lap. He was so ashamed; he should be over this by now. He felt like a baby every time he had a flashback, and this time there were witnesses, making it even worse.
"I'm sorry," Kurt deadpanned, not bothering to look up to see what he was sure to be identical looks of fear and revulsion as Blaine rubbed circles onto his back. After all, only insane people freak out over a simple touch.
There was silence for a moment, before Wes spoke. "Kurt, I'm the one who should be sorry. I've never been out of the Dalton system, I didn't think. Please forgive me."
Kurt shook his head, eyes studying the bedspread. "You didn't do anything wrong. I shouldn't have freaked out like that. I don't know exactly what you saw when my shirt rode up, but you saw a bit. It brought my mind back…back to…Blaine, I'm scared." Blaine looked as confused as Wes did, so Kurt tried to figure out how to elaborate without revealing anything. "Blaine, I like having friends. I didn't stop him! I don't want things to change because I was weak and stupid!"
"It's not your fault you know." Everyone was surprised to hear David speak; he had been quiet this whole time.
"How would you know?" Kurt asked, his voice not harsh, but curious. His curiosity grew as Wes put a seemingly firm hand on David's shoulder in comfort.
"You were attacked, weren't you?. It happened to me. That's why I moved into the Dalton system in 5th grade. My teacher came after me, she…she…touched me." David took a deep breath. Blaine, who had always assumed that David started in the Dalton system in kindergarten like most students, stopped rubbing Kurt's back. David continued, "You had a flashback. Whatever happened to you, you were right back there again."
Kurt nodded. He was no longer afraid to lose friends. David knew, he'd been there, and judging by Wes's reaction, he wasn't going to hate him for the things that had happened. "The reason I came to Dalton wasn't just bullying and death threats, although that's what my dad thinks. The real reason is one particular bully. He was the worst, and when I confronted him in the locker room, he kissed me. My first kiss was stolen." Kurt paused, giving Blaine the opportunity to turn their heads into a kiss. Softly, "courage" was whispered into Kurt's ear, giving him the strength to continue. He was sexually attracted to me, and kept winking at me in the halls. When the opportunity came to report him, I did, leaving out the part about him being in Narnia. He got expelled the day before my Dad's wedding. The next day was Sunday, so I went shopping. He found me. He grabbed my arm, but I…I…I didn't want to make a scene." It hurt Kurt so much to think that this could have been avoided.
David spoke. "I did the same thing. The teacher's lounge was right next door. I thought that I could handle it." He put his hand over Kurt's, seemingly infusing strength with the touch.
Kurt breathed deeply before continuing. "He pushed me into a fence, kissing me, grabbing my butt. I struggled, but I was just too weak. He forced me to the ground; I thought he was going to rape me. Then he took a knife and started cutting me.
This was the hard part, the part that Blaine didn't know about. "Blaine, I swear I didn't lie to you when I told you about this. I just didn't remember. Promise not to hate me!"
"I promise." The answer was immediate, and filled with love.
"When he was done with a line, he would….his…hands…started touching me. I didn't want it! He said I did, but I swear I didn't! His hands were in-inside my p-pants. He told me that I loved it. My body responded to the soft touches, so different to the harsh, cold blade. I swear I didn't mean to! Blaine, I'm so wrong for you, so dirty, I'm sorry! I don't deserve y-"
At this point he was interrupted by lips, soft upon his. "It's not your fault." This time it was Blaine. "You couldn't help what was happening. I love you and you are perfect to me. Nothing that he did will make me love you less. Nothing."
Kurt embraced his boyfriend, snuggling into his neck for what must have been ten or fifteen minutes. Finally, he felt okay to finish his story. "Once he was done, he forced me to stop getting me out of trouble. Made me say it, even though I could hardly talk. Then he just left me there."
Now that Kurt had finished the story, he could look around. Wes had tears streaming down his face, not even trying to wipe them off. David just gave him a knowing look, still holding his hand. Blaine was whispering in his ear, a mantra of, "You're beautiful, you're perfect, you're beautiful, you're perfect."
Wes was the first to break the relative silence. "What did he cut into you? The way you said it, it sounded like he had a purpose."
Slowly, Kurt removed his tee shirt. Wes gasped. David looked away. Blaine just kissed Kurt's cheek as well as he could while keeping the boy on his lap.
For a split second, Kurt thought that he had made the wrong decision. But then three pairs of arms encircled him, and he realized the truth. He had friends.