Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or Twilight

Genre

: Romance/Angst/Hurt

Pairing

: Edward/Kagome?

Summary

: They expected Kagome Higurashi to be some decrepit old woman but when she looks no more then seventeen years old, what are the Cullens to think? Horrors of Kagome's past are intricately intertwined with the Volturi and yet she has agreed to help this family due to past relations with Carlisle. Cruelty runs through her veins and she has done great terrors in the name of something good, some even for Carlisle, so what is this family to do when faced with the monster that is Kagome?

Love of the Dead
Chapter Two: Lies in the Past [Reconstructed]

"If I was your vampire, death waits for no one. Hold my hands across your face, because I think Our time has come." - Marilyn Manson

x . . . . x

"Dear, Carlisle, did you not tell them who they were meeting?" she asked, amusement clear in her voice.

"Oh god." was the soft murmur that came over and over as Carlisle covered his face with his hands. There were tears falling from his eyes, tinted pink with blood, and for a moment, Kagome felt regret. Regret for telling him now, regret for not telling him sooner, regret for causing him pain. Her lips were set into a frown as all the amusement that she held was wiped away by an invisible hand. Beside her, Shippo gripped her hand in his, offering his silent support.

"Carlisle?" Esme asked softly, her horror a tangible thing on the air as she stared at her husband, her mate. She had no idea what the woman before her was talking about but the one she loved was in obvious pain and the vampires were all easily disturbed by the image of Carlisle falling to pieces before their very eyes. Carlisle wasn't overly emotional and never had they seen such a breakdown as the one they were witnessing. Rosalie looked at the small, Japanese female and anger coursed through her swiftly.

"How dare you?" she hissed angrily. Jealousy reared it's ugly head within her more than righteous anger at causing Carlisle pain. Jealousy for the fact that the woman was obviously still human and immortal while she herself had to give up her life to attain her immortality. Oblivious to the change in atmosphere. "If you cannot do it, don't lie about such a thing as sacrificing newborns!" Kagome narrowed her eyes at the blond haired female and stiffened.

"I am not lying. Years ago, I took the life of a child for a friend. I took that life to ease the guilt he carried within him, to ease his pain, and his want." These people thought her a monster so let them believe what they wished. She wouldn't tell them the truth because they would not believe it if it bit them on the ass. It didn't matter what they thought, they were guests, merely family to a friend and their opinions and the like didn't matter in the slightest.

"How could you?" Carlisle nearly sobbed as he looked at her. Kagome felt an old pain rear it's ugly head at her. She met his eyes and for a brief moment, sadness filled those eyes before falling away and leaving only coldness in those oceanic depths. Her jaw set, eyes hard, Kagome allowed a gentle smile to flow onto her face though those eyes didn't change in the slightest.

"Because you asked me to, Carlisle. Because you got on your knees and you begged me to save the life of a girl that you brought into our world and didn't want to damn." she whispered softly, and Kagome was abruptly tossed into her memories as she remembered, she remembered things she wanted to forget.

"Please... please, Kagome!"

The scent of sickness clung to the child.

She lifted her arm...

"God! PLEASE! Not my child!"

A child wailed in the distance.

The wailing soon ceased.

She banished the clips of her memories from her mind, not wanting to relive the whole experience. She would tell him one day, the circumstances of the death, but not now, not now so lost in his grief that he would think she made it all up to make him feel better. She looked at the man and she felt her poor heart stutter in her chest. She would not allow her emotions to get the better of her, not now, when he was obviously in so much pain. She wanted to cry with him, she wanted to scream, but she came to terms with what she had done many, many years ago.

"I don't understand." Edward said softly into the quiet that was filled with Carlisle's sobs. "What girl?" he asked, and Esme looked to her 'son' and wondered the same thing. Kagome arched an ebony brow and looked at the vampire that was still sobbing like a child. He had so many skeletons within his closet that she didn't know what to do. Obviously, he had kept the details of his past under lock and key. She shook her head and wondered why he would come here at the risk of everything he previously was being revealed.

"You are so very clueless, vampires." Shippo spoke from beside Kagome. He shook his head and stood from the floor. He leaned down, pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and straightened. "It seems like it'll be a very long night, Kagome. I'll cancel our dinner reservations and let the others know we won't be able to make it." Kagome nodded her head and the kitsune dashed upstairs, pulling out a sleek black phone as he took the stairs two at a time.

"It isn't my story." Kagome murmured softly as she looked at Edward and the human, Bella, huddled in his arms.

"Tell them, Kagome. Just tell them." Carlisle whispered as he composed himself. Kagome never hesitated in starting their story.

"Carlisle and I had been friends for a year or so and sometime during our second year of friendship, he met a girl. She was a nurse, working at the same hospital as Carlisle. There were no romantic interests on either side but a close friendship developed and she found out. The young woman knew that Carlisle was a vampire, she was very bright for her twenty-five years and she pieces together his puzzle. We all know that nothing get's passed the Volturi and they found out about the friendship. Carlisle had no intention on turning the girl and they told him, that they would kill her. He came to me and asked if there was anything I could do and I could, and I did. I told him the ritual was a dire thing, the consequences would be drastic and he said he didn't care, he just wanted me to save her. Save her I did."

It seemed like she wouldn't get a reprieve from her memories after all.

"They are threatening her! They are threatening me, Kagome!" Carlisle growled in anger as he looked to Kagome whom was sitting on her porch, eyes looking at his outburst in amusement. The house she currently lived in, was small, more of a cottage than anything but it was lovely, painted with cremes and whites. "You have some special powers, you know some spells, is there anything you can do?" he asked desperately, his body trembling in fear for the woman-child he had called his friend. She was only a nurse, not a threat.

"I might." Kagome said softly as she crossed her legs, the long skirt she wore effectively covering everything. Carlisle looked at her and through himself in front of her, looking down at her as though she had said, 'Santa Clause is real' and provided proof of it. "But the spell is quite a handful and has some pretty dire consequences and ingredients." Kagome warned as she looked at the vampire. The panic in his eyes struck something in her. "There might be human sacrifice."

At this point Carlisle didn't care. The life of someone he knew, or the life of a human he had never met? He chose the human he knew every time. "I don't care! I don't care." he whispered, throwing himself at her feet, whimpering ever so softly. He bowed before her, begging her. "Please... please, Kagome!" he whispered urgently. Kagome only nodded her head and walked down the stairs to her home, she stopped a little ways away from him.

"It'll be done." she whispered and she walked off. The next time Carlisle saw her, her hands were covered in blood, her eyes were hollow, and in her hands was a flask filled with crimson liquid. He never asked and she never told, he only went back to his pet human and she drank the vile tasting liquid and for a short time seemed like a vampire and passed the inspection of the Volturi. It wasn't long after that Carlisle left.

"That's pretty much what happened." Kagome murmured, turning to look at the family. "After a few months, slowly she became like a human again and that was all. Carlisle disappeared soon after that and I returned to my life."

"I was changed in 1918 and Esme was changed 1921. How could you two have met?" Edward asked, "How could we not have known you? Not known of Carlisle's life?"

"Remember, there was a year that I left home. I needed to get my things together. I still wasn't used to having others to take care of and I left to go and 'find myself' as they like to say." Carlisle uttered to the others in the room. Because of him and his selfish wants and needs, a child had been killed. His heart bled and if it had been beating it would have stopped in his chest. Kagome scowled at him.

"Get a grip, Carlisle." she growled at him. "I took the life, it was more my burden then yours. I buried my pain a long time ago so just get over it." she hissed. "You have bigger problems, all of you do. You shouldn't be so concentrated on what we did or didn't do in the past. It concerns absolutely none of you." Kagome hissed out, eyes narrowed, tired of the judgment but she understood, in a way.

If one killed a child, what else were they willing to do?

"She's right." Jasper spoke and the attention turned to him. "We all know of my past and it has just to be as bad as hers and yet you can accept everything I have done. My killing was mindless but hers, hers had some reason." he told the family and each nodded, understanding what Jasper was saying to them but Kagome was not Jasper. She was not family and Bella was not happy. What were they to do now? She was worried. She was beyond that everything. Would they change her now? Truly change her? Excitement coursed through her at spending her life with her vampire.

She couldn't help but ask, "Does this mean that you'll change me into a vampire now?" Edward glared down at her and shook his head adamantly. "But Edward- we're running out of time! Soon the Volturi will come and attack all because I am still human and you're not ready to change me! If you don't change me, I'll find someone else dammit!" she yelled angrily as she pulled away from him and stood staring down at him. Why couldn't he understand that all she wanted was to spend her life with him. Extended life.

"No, Bella! I can't!" he growled back at her. "Why can't you see that I just can't do it? I cannot bear the thought that you are just as damned as I am and that I took your life? I'll kill anyone that takes your human life, my family included, do you understand? If you have Alice or Carlisle or anyone else change you, I will kill them. I will tear apart my family because you were selfish and couldn't wait for an alternative!"

"I'm dying, Edward! Every second I am aging more and more and I will no longer be an attractive young girl. Don't you see?" she asked, on the verge of tears.

"I love you though! Old, young, fat, skinny, I love you!" he whispered vehemently. He ached to pull her into his arms but she wouldn't welcome the gesture, he knew.

Why did it all have to be so difficult?

"As touching as this is, I think I might vomit." Kagome said, amusement, dark and clear, lacing her voice. Bella glared at the female and just couldn't keep her comment to herself.

"Just because you are too corrupt to have been able to find love, don't try and pull what we feel down a peg!" she growled and Kagome howled in laughter until tears filled her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. Those tears were partially tears of twisted mirth and aching sadness. As her laughter subsided and the tears were wiped away, Kagome looked at the human and was across the room, warm throat in her hand. Edward moved to attack her but Kagome squeezed the the delicate throat.

"Now, now, Edward, if you attack me, all I have to do is squeeze..." which she did for emphasis and Bella clawed at the hand. "...and I will sap the life from her human and very breakable body." she gave a feminine, dark chuckle and looked toward Bella. "Listen, Bella. I have loved and been loved in return and it was the most wondrous thing I have ever felt. Speak of things you don't truly know or understand and this throat of your yours will be leaking blood next time. Understood?"

Bella could only gape and wonder what exactly Carlisle had gotten them all into and what kind of friends he kept.

She had been too long hanging around the 'civilized' entities of the supernatural world and was not used to this sheer and utter show of power and intimidation, two things Kagome was good at. She was not unhappy to put Bella in her proper place. Her blue eyes flickered to the blond doctor and she internally sighed. That man had gone far too soft. He let he and his family become weak and complacent with their vegetarian ways and their passive attitudes. She would just have to toughen them up. There was no point in going through any trouble to save them if they were just going to killed by another and stronger coven in the future.

She released Bella and the girl gasped, taking in as much air as her lungs could hold and Edward was right by her side, patting her back and soothing her as she nearly burst into tears. Kagome only sneered. Carlisle looked over at Kagome and she in turn looked at him. "I can not do as you have asked of me Carlisle, old friend, I just can't. I will find a way to help you though. I will do everything in power to keep you and those you love safe because you are right..." she murmured. "You are indeed my friend and it would be terrible of me to leave you out to dry."

"I don't want you to help us out of obligation, Kagome." Carlisle murmured as Kagome shrugged, tugging on her still damp hair in an almost impatient gesture.

"I have been alive for five hundred years, Carlisle. I no longer think like a normal human, nor do I think like a vampire. My primary companions have been youkai and for the most part, I think like they do. It is quite difficult for me to be open with anyone other then a select few but you can guarantee that if I didn't want to help you in the slightest I would have gotten rid of you already and would have left you to your fate, understood?" Kagome asked, tilting her head to the side.

Shippo couldn't help but hear the conversation that was currently taking place downstairs and he sighed aloud. Visions and memories danced in his mind of a time where a smiling girl stood in place of the one that scowled and sneered. Words of encouragement and love stood place instead of sarcastic and cruel remarks. Cerulean eyes filled laughter replaced the cool gaze filled with indifference. The girl with all those positives aspects used to hold him in her arms and press warm kisses to the crown of his head.

He only wished that things had not taken a turn for the worst so many years ago.

Not that Kagome was those negative parts to him but he missed having her like that in front of people. He missed the sound of her laughter when they ventured in public, the carefree smiles she would cast in his direction. He ran a hand through his short locks and paused in his reflection of the woman he had come to care for more than anyone else in this world. He stopped his internal musings as he heard her speak again.

"You are welcome to stay the night if you haven't arranged other lodgings. Take any room but my own. Towels are in the hallway closet, extra blankets there as well. Bella can help herself to refrigerator, if you need extra clothing, then just ask and we'll see what we can find. If you need to hunt then the shrine grounds are filled with wildlife." with that said, he heard her move up the stairs and make her way to the room he was currently in. She opened the door, placed a sound proof barrier around the room, and simply looked at him.

He watched slowly as the hardness around her heart faded in his presence. She picked apart the barriers and the pieces of the cold faded from her eyes revealing the true person she was. His breath caught in his throat and he opened his arms wordlessly. She made a soft sound of dismay and she cried. She sobbed and screamed her frustration into is chest. His lips pressed to the top of her head in soothing kisses as sounds that weren't human in the slightest fell from his lips in a gentle manner.

"Why can't they just go away?" she whispered, pain solid in her voice. His throat threatened close as he held her tight.

"The Volturi." he murmured, not having to ask, having been there when everything went to hell.

"I don't understand!" she cried.

He was ashamed to say that he was glad when she had these moments of weakness. He was happy knowing that she wasn't this immovable force and actually had weakness like everyone else. He was happy because when she broke, when she fell apart, underneath her cracked facade so weak and soft like porcelain, he found solace in the Kagome he loved and cherished. When she broke she was still that fifteen year old girl that risked her life to save his when he was just a kit and nothing more.

"I know." Shippo whispered as she pulled away from him slightly and then he leaned down and caught her lips in a searing kiss.

He loved it when Kagome broke because then he could bury himself within the soft folds of her purity and taint her with his very being, his very essence, and for a moment he could wash their sins against the world away with her name on his lips, and his but a cry a to the heavens from her mouth.

There... they knew no pain.

Downstairs, the family Cullen and one Little Ms. Swan, all looked at one another in shock. Emmett was the first to break the confused silence, "I am debating on whether I like her or not." he grumbled and Alice took her mate's arm fretfully. She feared very little in this world and the fact she feared a human female was a little more than frightening. Jasper held Alice comfortingly but she was currently trembling like a leaf, her Fae like features twisted with apprehension.

"Carlisle," Esme began softly. "Are we safe with this woman? She's killed a child for God's sake." she hissed softly, her own fear taking hold of her. Carlisle blinked as he looked at every single member of his family, his gaze straying on Edward the longest.

"Darling... here in Kagome's presence is safer than any place in the world. She may have her own minor moral skirmishes but if she gives her word she will help us, then her honor binds her to do so." he murmured. "You have no idea the lengths she will go to in order to make sure we are all safe. If she cannot perform the spell then she will do everything and anything else she can to make sure all is well, even if it were to mean that Bella remain human and she be a nothing more than a body guard for the rest of Bella's days."

Edward looked at his adopted father and shook his head. Bella was still quite shaken and he looked down at her, his gaze soft. She was an obligation, he had brought her into his world when he should have turned and fled the opposite direction. She was his remaining heart, he hadn't thought he had one. She was human, and he could only love her more for that aspect.

Why couldn't the girl understand?

He loved her as she was but she couldn't remain as she was because of the Volturi and now they were stuck with a possibly insane woman that obviously wouldn't mind their deaths, even if it came from her own hand. He just couldn't understand why Bella couldn't be happy as she was. When he cared for as she was, why did it matter that not everything was perfect? Just because they loved each other, didn't that mean it was enough? Or was he just a hopeless romantic? Were all his ideals on love really going to be ruined?

"I don't want a bodyguard for the rest of my days, Carlisle!" Bella cried in frustration as she pulled away from Edward, her rock, and stood facing down the blond vampire. They would never understand her plight! They would forever remain unchanged and be together while she grew old and she died. Didn't they understand? "I want to defend myself and stay with you all forever! Is that too much to ask?" she whispered and they smiled at her. They actually had the gall to smile at her!

"Yes, Bella, it is too much to ask." whispered Esme as she looked at the one girl she thought she'd be adding to her family.

"You have no idea how young you sound." Rosalie practically spat at the girl, brushing her long, blond locks away from her face. " 'stay with you all forever', she says. She has No idea of what she asks." she muttered as she stood and looked at the slightly wet girl and with that she turned away and moved further into the house. Emmett looked at his family and gave a small shrug and followed after her, calling her name as he tried to calm her down and get her to apologize to the young girl that now had a mask of fierce anger sketched onto her face.

"Don't smile at me! Don't call me young!" she hissed in an angry whisper as her eyes, large and doe like, filled with tears of anger and sadness. She curled into herself as she sobbed, stressed beyond all reasonable belief. It was all too much, she just couldn't take it anymore. She was only human and she was falling apart at the seems where she continuously sowed herself up where a piece fell due to the fact she was loosing herself. Loosing herself in her responsibilities, in her love, in her life.

Bella only sobbed and Edward looked at Carlisle as though this were all his fault they were in this position.

Carlisle looked into those angry eyes and shook his head and wordlessly thought the same thing back at him, changing a few words, casuing his sons eyes to widen.

'No, Edward, this is your fault.'

Edward knew it to be true and allowed Carlisle's harsh mental reply to go by without consequence.

If Edward had fled in the beginning the Bella would not be feeling this self loathing and he wouldn't be causing her pain.

His own self loathing welled within him swiftly.

It made him sick.

.

.

.

'Gome Yuki:: I can't seem to help the Shippo - x - Kagome... ever. So yeah, the strain of being human is causing Bella to be a little broken and stressed.
Sasuke:: The strain of seeing Carlisle is causing Kagome to break.
Youko:: She isn't evil but she isn't all that good either.
Alucard:: You can expect the next chapter to have a little more insight and more to the chapter about the plot.
'Gome Yuki:: Read and review! Thanks guys :)