Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly or Serenity.

Prompt #15: Shepherd - She found his God book full of fallacies among the dead, but for some reason, River couldn't bear to throw it away.

Words: 841

The Preacher-Man and I never really understood one another.

But he understood more about what I was.

I didn't like reading his mind. There's too much dark, too much hurt, too much pain lurking in the depths of his holy brain. He hides it under the Preacher mask, but it weren't gone completely.

His God-book helped him. I saw him reading it whenever we had idle time. It calmed his dark and soothed his hurt as he read it. I tried reading it once, but the false facts hurt my brain. Even when I tried to fix it, the nonsense truths made no sense.

He said it was about faith. "Faith is what humanity clings to, River. Everyone has faith in something, whether it's in God or something more tangible."

I had no faith anymore. Last time I had faith, my brain got peeled and poked and prodded and broken.

So no, I never understood the Preacher-Man. He tried to understand me, but I didn't let him. He didn't need more hurt in his head.

When we touched down on Haven to see everything burning, I felt his mind reaching out to me. It wasn't so dark anymore, but bright. Bright with pain and blood.

Little one, don't let them come. They can't see this.

I didn't listen. Mal, Zoe, and Jayne took their guns and took point to protect us. Kaylee and Wash and I followed behind. I watched Kaylee as her shiny happiness crumbled when she saw the little dead boy. I watched Wash shudder as he smelled blood and death in the hot wind.

Little one, get them out of here.

Tell me where you are, Preacher-Man. I stared at a burning swing, concentrating on the licking flames instead of the blood-soaked sand at my feet. Lemme help.

Can't. He'll find you.

I blink once. Operative, I said, picking the word from his mind. Fellow breaker, just like you.

Weren't never like him. Not as lost. Found God and returned to the light. His mind stuttered, white peace strobing through the pain and black. Gotta keep them safe, River. This man will hunt you to the ends of the 'verse, and he won't spare them. In his mind, they ain't innocent.

I heard Cap'n speaking through the pain and withdrew. What Cap'n had to say to Preacher-Man was between them alone.

We blasted off Haven, our home bloodied up and body-strewn to resemble the like of a Reaver raider. None of us were happy with the change. Serenity meant peace, yet we flew inside a harbinger of death.

I clutched the little charred Bible in my dress pocket. I'd picked it up amid the ash and flame on Haven. Salvation in the middle of Perdition, like Preacher-Man used to think it brought him. Couldn't make myself throw it away, so it stayed on me.

Once we broke through the ring of Reavers, I slipped away to read the God-book. I flipped through all the Old and New parts, through Prophets and Kings and Letters, through clear to Revelations. Hoping I'd find a revelation in there was like hoping to find my sanity on Miranda, but for once, I dared to have hope.

Leave it to me to open to the part talking about the end of the 'verse. Dragons wearing crowns, archangels blowing trumpets and callin' down floods and earthquakes. I frown and flip a few pages futher, searching for the Preacher's so-called salvation.

Then I was at the end. I almost closed it, but I noticed something written on the back cover. Written in Shepherd Book's own hand. Curious, I brought it closer to squint at the spidery writing.

At the top of the page was a serial number. A serial number that, once I patched it through an encrypted wave through to the Cortex, led to a dead file from the Unification War. A file on an officer named Derrial Book.

What I found there explained everything about our Shepherd.

We buried the Preacher-Man next to Wash and Mr. Universe. We tacked our last hopes and wishes to the rocket, hoping our honored dead would read them once it hit heaven. Zoe stared at Wash's image with tears in her eyes, hands clasped white-knuckled at her belly.

I waited to be last. I didn't want anyone to see what I wanted to send up. I don't think the Preacher wanted anyone to know, anyway.

With steady fingers I taped his secret to the rocket. Soon it'd be back with him, where it belonged.

Revelations 1:18 - I am he that liveth, and was dead; and behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.

Henry Evans is dead.

I am Derrial Book.

May God forgive me for what I have done.

This one was really difficult. Shepherd Book was always one of those characters we didn't get a full picture on, and it really sucked trying to do this.

Review please!