Where the Streets Have No Name
Chapter 98
"I don't know what to do, Mom. I can't just dump him. But I can't… I can't…" Bella shook her head in frustration.
"Paul is a good kid," Renee said.
Bella was afraid of this. She knew there was a good chance Renee would go to bat for Paul.
"I know that," Bella said with irritation. "That's the problem, Mom. Paul is perfect. He is nice and sweet and kind and caring and loyal-"
"But he doesn't make you want to sneak out at night through the window, does he?" Renee asked, cutting Bella off.
"Huh?"
"Paul is nice and sweet, and you know I think very highly of him. But he is not someone you'd risk breaking your curfew for. You wouldn't throw a tantrum if I told you that you're grounded and can't see him anymore, would you? He doesn't make you want to walk through fire or swim across the Atlantic just to be with him, right?" Renee elaborated.
Bella contemplated her mother's attempt to exemplify what Paul meant to her. Renee was right.
She wouldn't.
She hadn't.
She shook her head.
"Then I think you know what you need to do," Renee said sagely as she wrecked her fingers through Bella's hair soothingly.
"But I don't want to hurt his feelings, Mom. I mean, he's been there for me when I needed him. How can I... how can I just...
"He'll be so hurt... then he'll hate me. I don't want Paul to hate me," Bella mumbled.
"Yes, quite possibly he will be hurt, and yes, he probably will be mad too. For a while. But you'll be hurting him a lot more later. If you're not honest with him now, you'll be doing him a great disservice. He deserves better, honey. You know that, don't you?"
Bella lowered her face. "I know..."
Her mother's words surprised her. She was expecting Renee to try and talk some "sense" into her. To tell her what a fool she would be to let Paul go.
Bella yawned then curled herself on the bed, putting her head in her mother's lap.
"Does it really ever happen?" Bella asked in a forlorn voice.
"What, honey?"
"Do you really ever want to do those things for someone? Walk through fire? Cross the ocean? Crazy stuff like that?"
Renee took a deep breath before answering, continuing to comb her daughter's hair with her fingers.
"Yes. You do." She sighed, memories of lost love stinging her eyes. "If you're very lucky, you meet that person whom you'll do anything for. And if you're even more lucky, that person would want to do the same for you."
"Was it like that with Dad? When you met him?" Bella persisted. Exhaustion was finally hitting her hard. But she wanted to stay awake and listen to her mother talk.
Tears brimmed in Renee's eyes. Even after nearly a year, the reminder of her loss still held the power to bring her to her knees.
"Yah...
"Yes, it was like that, honey," she spoke softly, fighting away the chokehold in her throat. "And I know it in my heart, you'll meet someone special too. You have your whole life ahead of you for that.
"Now you rest up a little while I go upstairs and put together dinner," Renee said as she lifted Bella's head gently from her lap and placed a pillow underneath. Her daughter was going to be with her only for a short while. She didn't want to blemish their limited time with grief.
"Okay," Bella murmured sleepily.
"Don't fall asleep now. I'll come and get you when the food is ready," Renee said as she made her way up the stairs, discreetly wiping her eyes.
Edward and Ella arrived home just as Renee finished with cooking. The strained look on Edward's face was something she had come to expect as an after-effect of his "visits".
Hoping the distraction of having company might snap him out of his distress, Renee went down to fetch Bella for dinner. Only to find her soundly asleep.
She gently pulled the covers over Bella's sleeping form and returned to the kitchen. The introductions would have to wait until tomorrow.
Thank you Lulabelle98, HeidiJoVT, and Dinx.