Where the Streets Have No Name
Chapter 101
Her breath hitched in her throat.
Edward Cullen's face held the sorrows and anguish of a thousand lives. Every edge and line told the tale of heartbreak and lost hope.
His was the face of a drowning man.
He was drowning in moonlight.
He was drowning in a room full of oxygen.
He was drowning in an ocean of bleak solitude.
The wetness on his cheek reflected by the elusive light betrayed his silent tears.
Bella had to forcibly hold herself in place so she didn't do something hugely inappropriate, like rushing to his side or pull him into her arms.
But she wanted to. So very badly.
She wanted to comfort him, tell him everything was going to be alright, kiss him silly, make him smile, even if only for a moment.
She understood the futility of her yearning, but felt helpless against the sheer force of it.
There was nothing she could do for this broken man. Maybe there were arms that could assuage his hurt. Perhaps there were lips that could kiss away his pain.
But not hers. Never hers.
Even considering such possibilities were blasphemous. He was a grieving spouse who was mourning his wife's absence. Wanting to share his sorrow or comfort him was beyond preposterous.
He was her mother's employer. There could never be anything other than civil politeness between them, if anything at all. She didn't know him, and he didn't know her. Decorum dictated that there ought not be a need for more either.
Yet she couldn't bring herself to retreat from her spot. She stood there, conflicted and torn, until she felt the sting in her own eyes of treacherous tears.
She cursed herself for being so incredibly silly. And because it meant she now had no recourse but to leave the premises. If she didn't, her sniffles sure would betray her presence. She had enough presence of mind to know the awkwardness that would ensue if she got caught outside of Ella's nursery.
She took one last look, then quietly- and unwillingly - tiptoed her way back to her quarters in the basement.
As she navigated her way through the dark house, her mother's words flashed through her mind.
To want to walk through fire.
Swim across the ocean.
Break all rules.
Traverse the impossible.
Risk everything.
For that special someone.
Just a few hours ago she had wondered whether such compulsions could ever be more than fairytale.
She had her answer now. And the knowledge terrified her.
Surely this was not what her mother had in mind when she alluded to the possibility.
She crawled into her bed, gripping the edges of the blanket tightly. There was little hope of finding sleep and she was in no condition to go looking.
With distance - however little the two floors between them provided - came some clarity and she wondered what had possessed her so thoroughly just minutes ago.
It had to be the bewitching hour and the unreal atmosphere that she found herself in that triggered such strong emotions from her, she reasoned.
She was already troubled by her inner turmoil and her mind simply wanted to provide her with a distraction.
The lullaby he hummed was connected to countless pleasant memories tied to a happy childhood.
The unfamiliar surroundings and the dark corners of the large house reinforced her disorientation.
All factors combined, her imagination ran away from her and she suffered a moment of a complete break with reality.
Surely no mortal man could look as alluring as she recalled him to be. Her mind had concocted all those unearthly attributes and ascribed them to him to fulfil some crazy fantasy she didn't even know was hiding in some obscure corner of her brain.
She would officially meet Edward Cullen in the morning. The daylight would drive away whatever spell the moon had cast the night before.
She had to believe that.
Holding onto that hope, she waited for dawn to break.
Thank you Lulabelle98, HeidiJoVT, and Dinx.
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