Wow, it's been a while. Jessica is answering me again, which is awesome! And this time I think we have a solid theory about one of the mysteries that we mentioned wayyy back in the beginning of this whole thing! -sigh- Not much else to say on the matter. I've been rereading the webcomic, and all of this is like a memory refresher, but some of it is really helpful. It just blew my mind how something at the very beginning of the story will pertain directly to something that we just saw in recent updates. It's crazy how much AH has clearly been planning this whole thing. Anyway, if people are still reading this, here's some stream-of-consciousness.
KALYN
Hey. So. I'm rereading Homestuck since my classes haven't started yet and it hasn't updated yet. It. Is. Enlightening.
I'll mention the more important things (that I can remember) that haven't already been alluded to in past conversations.
First, Rose. Toward the beginning, John is in the Medium, she has yet to begin playing with Dave. She goes to a laboratory where there is a timer counting down to its "unestablishment" and a hub that was conveniently unlocked for her to use for her laptop.
Inside this lab everything is green. Except for a tea set that she comes across, and further inside the lab is a pink bed and dresser and other girly things. It looks like a little girls room inside the lab.
Remember that?
Take a moment to remember.
KALYN
mspaintadventures(dot)com/?s=6&p=002805 Here's the link, just in case.
KALYN
Now. Think back to very recent updates. We were just about to get out of that obnoxious Doc Scratch green-skinned narrative. Scratch is on a vessel, and of course the interior is green. We meet Aradia's ancestor, and we see the room that Scratch gave her, as if she was his own spoiled daughter. Remember how that room looked? There was a bed and a tea set.
I don't feel like finding the link for this one, but I'm sure it won't be difficult to track down.
I suppose it would make sense that Doc Scratch was working most directly through Rose, which is why he spoke to her directly rather often. He admired her, in a way, and I think he left that hub unlocked just for her. She was his primary tool in instigating the whole game.
KALYN
There are other small links between Rose and Aradia's ancestor. Like when Rose is caught in Strife with Mom and she sticks her needles into an electrical outlet (the power's out at the time) and it says "Empty Suicide Threat!" and then when Aradia's ancestor is all pissed off at Scratch and she sticks her hair needles into an outlet and it says "Actual Suicide Threat!"
KALYN
Also, never addressed again is John's peanut allergy. I totally forgot about that. And how Dave, when you first meet him and don't really know his character all that well, tends to freak out a little bit and seem very uncool. But then once he's entered the medium and stuff we promptly forget about how uncool he once was and he is suddenly our favorite character. I forgot he was an amateur photographer.
KALYN
Oh, hey, remember that hideous game trophy that Jade hates that was in the way of that transportalizer in her house? Looked like a giant green worm with a white sheet over its head. Yeah, that's Typheus, John's denizen. So apparently it's already been slain there. I think Jade's grandpa took that thing home along with her dead dream self, somehow back in time and stuff. Yeah...
KALYN
It also appears Jade's grandpa has slain at least one large enemy from each of the medium worlds. And, for some reason, the fireplace is half gold (Prospit) and half purple (Derse). Can't imagine why...probably the whole adventurer thing, he's been to both worlds and brought back a piece of each.
KALYN
I don't know if this has already been clearly established, but judging by the appearifier Rose discovered in that lab and the fact that it was fixed on Jaspers from a moment in the past and would not move from that target, I think Jaspers was part of the genetic code for Bec. Rose at least made a mutated paradox clone fetus of Jaspers.
KALYN
She made the clone from a specific moment just before he disappeared, and then he was appearified away (but not by her), and then Jaspers washed up dead later. It's like...he was taken away because he had then served some purpose and was no longer needed, ie: she got his slimey paradox genetic material.
The question remains: Who appearified Jasper?
If not Bec, then at least that Mutant kitten she found.
KALYN
And wow I totally missed that pink horseshoe icon the first time I read this with the whole sequence when Rose is riding Maplehoof and there are flashes of poorly-drawn pictures of her and Maplehoof, and then one of a cowboy John leaning up against his own noble steed (the pogo ride)
I can now understand any western genre Homestuck fanfiction.
KALYN
Jade has a contraption of her grandpa's in her room that she tinkers with but has never gotten to work, unlike all her other gadgets. It's Jack Noir's fourth wall, which was stolen long ago. Most likely by Jade's grandpa, since he has about a thousand other souvenirs from this adventurous game.
We see John's sleeping dream self for the first time, and there is that freaking clown imp doll that Gamzee stuck in there.
Everything is so planned out. Wow.
During John's Christmas of item combining, he tries to combine a hammer and the Problem Sleuth game, but it's crazy expensive and he can't make whatever that combination yields. "Yet." I wonder if we'll find out later...
KALYN
Apparently I missed this the first time, because Morgan already knew, but the Midnight Crew and the Felt are all on Alternia (presumably far in the future. probably 413 years in the future.) and I guess they were like the Wanderers for the trolls or something. I knew Karkat had some connection to Spades Slick (I assumed it was Jack Noir though...wait, it totally was. yeah.) but I didn't think about it being like the Wanderers for the kids. Anyway, this rambling isn't going anywhere at the moment, so...
KALYN
TG: i should probably text him soon
TG: see whats up
TG: because
TG: i love him
TT: I know.
KALYN
3
I know it's overdone and read into a lot. But I don't care.
KALYN
How the hell did Jade's grandpa even get into the medium? He was dead when they started playing the game. I don't know exactly when he died, but I think his timeline goes from the medium and then to earth to raise Jade, and he dies sometime during her childhood. Because he already has the monster trophies from the medium and they're at Jade's house. Also her dead dream self.
Like I get the whole story like he was raised by Betty Crocker with John's Nana and then he left to go explore and adventurize, presumably in the medium. Just...how did he get there?
KALYN
Who was Rose's exile? Was it WQ? Because the text was really flowery and seemed all pretentious-sounding and we never saw her speaking directly to Rose.
Rose, according to Jaspersprite, must "learn how to play the rain" when she wakes up. Like a song...that makes letters...
Seems like it alludes to the codes she wrote on the walls, which we know for sure went into Bec's genetic makeup.
Why does Noir get all pissy at everyone in the universe instead of just the Black Queen? She was the one he really hated.
...Did the ring corrupt him?
lol LotR reference.
And I just watched that anniversary video, and I don't think it's the denizens that the guardians are fighting, because the kids have icon pictures of the denizens for their web browsers. I think their fighting just really large foes in each world in the video.
Also, I was put under the impression that Jade's grandpa was the one who killed and took home Typheus.
KALYN
Here's something to confuse your organization: the kids that each exile spoke to was dependent upon the 413-year-old meteor sites that they each came upon. Here: the meteor that struck John's house had a mechanical apple tree with an apple-like station 413 years after the impact (remember that was John's freebie item to get him in the medium?), and this site was the one that PM found. She talks to Jade, and Jade was John's client player. WV came upon a wine bottle place where the cork was the station that he found the screens controlling John in, and this was the site of Rose's house before the meteor struck and she obviously had a wine bottle to smash. John was her server player.
KALYN
Dave's item was an egg, and WQ came in an egg to the spot where all the exiles met. I speculated earlier that WQ was Rose's exile, which follows the pattern. This would make AR Dave's exile, but I don't remember them ever corresponding. It does make a bit of sense though, since AR was hiding out in the ruins right by Jade's house.
KALYN
The point is that they each have those screens that allow them to interact with and partially control the kids that they can (and none of the others) because that is where whoever was able to control that kid (as a server player) before had resided. Then a meteor struck and, like fucking Narnia, whatever special item was born there grew up to be a huge mechanical version of itself with the server-player-like screens and escape pods. So there.
I hope you don't feel obligated to have opinions on all of this. Just a nice response would be great, something so I know I'm not just talking to air.
Because all of this drabble has an inevitable destination.
KALYN
Following all the logic thus far, and given that Spades Slick was Karkat's sort of exile advisor, then wherever the Felt hideout was (where Slick found the screen to talk to Karkat) was wherever Karkat's server player had lived. I don't remember who that was, but I'm sure I'll get some memory refresher, and maybe it'll shed some light on the Felt, or not, depending. It would just be interesting to know.
…
I just fucking realized that a lot of the things I said here were explained in the first recap, which I am rereading right now. They just make more sense to me now.
Rose would "need to learn to play the rain to produce the musical analogue of a genetic code to reintroduce life into the ocean." Did that happen? I don't remember if it did or not. I associate her more with the abominations on the edge of the universe now.
...it's weird to me that Cal has a dream self. Do you think there's significance in that beyond him being a creepy ass puppet who can talk to some people?
Although I guess it makes some sense that Dave's dream self was already awake when you see that what's scrawled on his walls is stuff that he already had an interest in, nothing mysterious or that he had a deep-seeded hatred for. It's just Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.
KALYN
Hey I don't know if I said this before, but I know I talked to Morgan about it last night. Whenever John and Dave are talking to each other, they rag on each other a lot. Like they make fun of what each other likes. (Except for their birthday letters to each other, they were pretty sweet.) And when John talks about Dave (to anybody or even just to himself) he always calls him a jackass or something along those lines (and usually more descriptive). When Dave talked to Rose about John, all he really had to say was "I love him," to which Rose responded, "I know."
Which you know Rose is constantly implying Dave's a homosexual, and that can be chalked up to her sarcastic musings as a psychoanalyst.
KALYN
But then when you think about how John and Dave want to appear to each other, John never hides anything about himself. To anyone, really, except maybe Rose because she makes him feel weird with her analyses and he doesn't like her prodding his subconscious. But even then, he doesn't really try to hide anything. Dave doesn't hide anything from Rose at all, he's pretty open about how creepy he thinks puppets are and stuff to her, but to John he insists that he likes them and does everything he can to seem like he never loses his cool (when he does pretty often at the beginning of the game). To Jade Dave doesn't really say much about himself at all. He sends her music, she praises him for being cool, he agrees and tells her off when she's sleeping and talking to him.
I just find it interesting how insecure Dave is, especially compared to John, and how he feels like he needs to appear sure of himself for John.
There's a lot of transportalizing going on. Maplehoof followed Mom into a transportalizer on LoLaR, Dad followed Jade's Grandpa into a transportalizer on LoWaS, AR? followed Lil Cal into a transportalizer on Derse...
Then John and the mutant kitten transportalize into the same transportalizer that Maplehoof and Mom just disappeared through, and it leads him to the ectobiology lab in the veil.
Look at me, recapping. I bet it's either frustratingly redundant or a nice refresher course.
At this lab, he finds everything that transportalized before except for the guardians and AR?, including Sassacre's text from Jade's grandpa and a dirty hat from Dad.
And the chess piece monsters.
Wonder who made the ectobiology lab suit he finds at the scene. Has a little slimer icon on it. It must've been made for him, because it was alluded to and then the thought was laughed at, and that has been a consistent giveaway in every similar case.
Most likely one of the guardians, but I'd like to know.
Found AR?. He took Bro's rocket board (which Lil Cal was riding) and is doing stunts all over the veil. Stupid recaps. Me. Recapping. Feel free to angst at me.
Hm, another overly expensive alchemizable thing that we don't know what it is (yet?) is the combination of a broken sword and a frog-looking thing called "ruby contraband" from FutureDave.
Oh yeah, he previews it. It makes a red sword with a frog face on it.
JESSICA
Yeah, ok, let's try and cover all of this.
Dave's insecurities I always sort of suspected/knew it. Also, I have wondered if Dave was in fact gay, and had feelings for John. Although I wonder if it's going to turn out that he's homosexual, because that could prove to be a hitch in Karkat's shipping chart AND any sort of procreation they may attempt (guh, I dint think any of them really want to think about that when they're only 13). So dave may turn out to be bi, or there relationship may turn out to be like Gamz and Kar's.
JESSICA
There does seem to be a similarity between their relationships. Kar is not very sure of himself (obviously) and Gamzee is quite sure of himself.
And back to Daves sexuality, John could just be his "best bro" and Dave could live him that way. There doesn't have to be anything sexual about it.
I never really thought about Lil Cal having a dream self, nut he certainly does. He's also a time traveling wizard if you remember. He hangs out with Andrew Hussie. He's just a busy puppet!
And I don't really mind the refresher at all. I might reread it with Lizzy too, but hey! You can bring up points we've both forgot or paid no mind to the first time.
KALYN
:D
:DD
:DDDDD
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
You answered!
...
:
But yeah, I agree with all of that.
KALYN
So today on my way back to the dorm I passed by a couple of guys talking about "Drinking some mad apple juice" and how "apple juice is the shit!" and I thought of Dave.
KALYN
Okay. John is in the ectobiology lab and finds a machine with four monitors fixed on various points on earth at certain times. First one we see is the Betty Crocker factory. "Whoever was in this lab last must have calibrated the machine." This was the guardians. I like how they seem to be aware of what is going on and are playing their part to complete the paradox.
I guess it was fixed on John's grandma, who just happened to be at that factory, but still. A meteor landed there, and then John paradoxified his grandma.
Twas Jade's meteor. I think the rest of them we already know and stuff. And also how she got that bunny she's holding in the next monitor.
Rose's meteor lands in a lake and it says "no aquatic life would survive." Coincidence that her denizen is the reason there is no aquatic life on her world in the medium?
How the hell did Jade's grandpa get that fucking space ship? It's like...a pirate ship! But in space!
I love how as soon as the Striders are fucking born, they're doing extreme stuff. Bro broke one of the slime tubes and just climbed into it, and Dave's climbing up to the tubes to do something similar.
JESSICA
I keep thinking of buckets and trolls. It's a problem, hahaha. It seems like the guardians always knew, and they have been training the kids since they were little. It's sort of like the troll society, only miniaturized, you know?
KALYN
EB: you can tell me i look like a silly little paradox clone fresh out of my slime tube and this is just all a big nurseytime recess jamboree.
EB: that would burn me good!
CG: OK THAT IS PRETTY GOOD.
CG: BUT I CAN'T USE IT, BECAUSE YOU SAID IT, AND THEN LATER, I.E. RIGHT NOW, YOU WOULD GET THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING YOU WERE THE ONE TO COME UP WITH THAT BURN.
CG: SEE, YOU ARE DEALING WITH A PRO, YOU CAN'T OUT TROLL ME SO JUST FORGET ABOUT IT AND STOP TRYING.
EB: (hehehehehehehehehehehe)
John does that (hehehe) thing after he just pranked someone. Did Karkat end up using this? I just read it a few days ago and I don't remember...D:
JESSICA
i...
i haven't a clue
i don't think he ever uses it that
do you remember him using it?
KALYN
It would have been when John's riding the red rocket to his doom...I don't remember him using it though
JESSICA
the red rocket to his doom? because he definitely did that
well, almost. he was flying out into the middle of space on a red rocket-skate board
KALYN
Well here's the bit just preceding that copy/pasted section up there:
EB: and then after that you can keep going backwards and then make fun of me riding my little red rocket.
JESSICA
hmmm...
i don't know, i'm too tired to think too much
sorry
KALYN
mspaintadventures(dot)com/?s=6&p=003806
Why do you think that carapace is in that tube there?
JESSICA
other than because it is being created?
if you remember, that is how they were making the soldiers, so maybe he was just another soldier?
KALYN
oh okay. forgot that ness then.
JESSICA
not to say that there couldn't be something important to do with him. rarely does something not connect in more than one way. Blah, sentence structure not my friend x.X
KALYN
No no, I got that. Syntax makes little difference to me in sentence comprehension. XD
JESSICA
hahaha
KALYN
Hmmm...Jade's grandpa landed on a dog named HALLEY and Colonel Sanders (or Sassacre, whateverthefuck-he looks like Mark Twain!) is all upset and says he would rather die than lose the dog. And then Jade's grandpa shoots him.
But anyway, I wonder if the dog has anything to do with anything, since it was given a name.
JESSICA
other than Halley's comet?
KALYN
...is that in this comic? I mean I don't see why not, but...
JESSICA
I don't know if it is supposed to be anything other than an allusion to the famous Halley's comet
KALYN
Just as I suspected (or remembered, probably)...
She was used for Bec's genetic sequence.
Oh and Jade's grandpa pronounces the dog's name "Harley"
JESSICA
yeah
which is where their last name came from
KALYN
yep
and when he leaves for adventure at the ripe age of thirteen, the dog is then called "his guardian"
KALYN
TG: man dont remind me about that
TG: so embarrassing
GC: 1TS OK 1 WONT T3LL JOHN 4BOUT 1T
GC: 1 KNOW TH4TS WH4T YOUR3 WORR13D 4BOUT
TG: ok cool
KALYN
again with this sort of thing
JESSICA
i forgot about that
KALYN
GC: YOU SHOULDNT B3 SC4R3D
TG: why would i be scared
GC: D4V3 PL34S3
GC: YOU 4R3 CRY1NG L1K3 4 L1TTL3 BOY
GC: 1TS 1S H4PP3N1NG R1GHT H3R3 1N FRONT OF MY NOS3
GC: YOUR T34RS T4ST3 D3L1C1OUS
KALYN
This is probably actually happening. She seems to be pretty straight with him all the time.
JESSICA
yeah, but he played it off as being caused by onions
KALYN
...Not in this conversation.
She just said they taste like a troll delicacy called cotton candy, and he said they have cotton candy "dumpass"
JESSICA
well, in that conversation it hadn't happened yet
KALYN
lolwhut
JESSICA
teehee
forgot about that XD
KALYN
Let me just take a moment to say: Bro is such a BAMF. Riding a meteor and then squaring off with Bec Noir right away and surviving? GOD I LOVE STRIDERS!
JESSICA
KALYN
I like how WV is the only one left in the crowd that Noir completely fucking mutilated, and then he finds that stuffed clown and rips its head off. (BTW, I meant Jack Noir before. He wasn't Bec Noir yet.)
JESSICA
"Noir completely fucking mutilated"?
what?
KALYN
Yeah he goes berserk after he gets that ring and just starts killing the entire crowd. WV is the only one left standing because a chess monster steps in at the last minute. But WV was the one who had united both sides against Jack to begin with.
JESSICA
yeah….
KALYN
and PM is a total badass. She offed HB and stole his walkie-talkie to get Noir and the package for John, then she found John and just shoved it to him and walked away angrily. She's awesome.
JESSICA
I know, I love her so much! She deserves to be the new monarch
KALYN
Totally.
Okay I'm at the part with Jade's penpal's letter.
Still a bit ambiguous as to who it is.
But it's written in green.
And if it's anyone we know, then it was written at a time before they met John (obviously)...
JESSICA
but a different shade from Jade's
KALYN
I thought maybe it could have been Nepeta for a second, but it totally isn't her style of speaking.
It sounds like a guy.
JESSICA
yeah, i think he even said that he was a guy
maybe
but i always thought it was a guy
KALYN
It actually...it sounds a lot like John...
Except whoever it is wants to wrestle with John when they meet...
JESSICA
yeah, no matter what it's a guy
yup
KALYN
"Okay i had to do quite a lot of arm twisting to get her to go along with helping me make such an oddball present for you and so well in advance. But i had my arm sort of twisted myself to get this going in the first place."
Ambiguous...
Okay, either it's someone who is totally from the future, or someone...no, I'm almost sure they're from the future.
This could actually maybe be John from the future...
JESSICA
yeah, i've all ready figured he was
wait
not the john
but that this person is from the future
KALYN
Yeah, this person doesn't sound exactly like anyone that we've met (or anyone who we've met who talked)...
Really lively
kind of excitable
But not exactly like John or like Dave or any of the trolls
I mean, who says "fisticuffs"?
JESSICA
...
i would if i had a reason to
but i rarely do
KALYN
OH MY GOD I THINK I JUST GOT AN IDEA
JESSICA
v.v
?
KALYN
Just hold on for one second
Okay. Think about this.
Green text, like Jade's
And I was talking about this before
but
Okay, just wait for it.
This'll blow your mind.
We don't know where Jade's grandpa went when he turned 13.
But somewhere between then and SBURB, he managed to go adventuring and acquire a fucking space fleet.
JESSICA
holy crap!
KALYN
He's been everywhere, and his timeline never made total sense to me.
And he knows Jade. He trusts her. His SHIP is called JADE
JESSICA
so you think he's now in the future?
or he was in the future?
KALYN
HE COULD BE FUCKING ANYWHERE.
JESSICA
:O
mind blown!
KALYN
HE'S JADES GRANDPA!
JESSICA
holy moly!
KALYN
And how I just said he sounds like John?
He's practically his biological father!
JESSICA
they're related
yeah!
james just said he suspected that too
ok
i'm off to bed
KALYN
K! Tell James...mleh!
But yeah, it makes more and more sense when I think about it.
But about his ship being called Jade, I'm pretty sure he went adventuring, then into the medium, then went back in time and found baby Jade, because he died when she was very young. So this would make some sense, and also explain why he would know so much about this stuff.
JESSICA
It would. The only hitch naysayers would have is his age. He and Nanna were getting on in years by the time the little rascals came along. However, your theory is amazing. My mind is blown. I can't wait for the reveal
Also, James has never told me this theory before, so either he's been keeping it under wraps, or he only thought of it recently as well.
KALYN
That hitch is explained by me saying that he found Jade AFTER his adventure in the medium, and maybe rode a meteor back in time to earth. Or, he has a fucking space fleet, so that could easily take him through one of the gateways during the reckoning. After he turns 13, he meets Jade and befriends her (through time shenanigans), grows older, goes into the medium with his space fleet (named after his penpal), brings Jade's dead dream self and all of his trophies (including Typheus!) back to earth through one of the gates, gets baby Jade from the meteor, raises her, dies during her childhood, is stuffed. Tada!
KALYN
See I'm at the part where John just woke up and and got that cyborg rabbit, which scared of Noir. Then Grandpa landed his battleship on the ground (dropping off Mom and Dad) and then collected Jade's dead dream self. I'm guessing he was able to get out of the medium during the reckoning and back to earth so he could avoid the BecNoir-caused fate that all the other guardians faced.
Alright! Recap number two! I seem to retain all of this a lot better when I space it out a bit instead of trying to read it all nonstop at once...
But hey, at least I think we solved a mystery that we've been pondering since we started this thing!
I'm curious to know how many people had already come to this conclusion. If it's a lot, I wouldn't be surprised because I'm often slow on the uptake, but if anyone hadn't thought of this yet and see the merit in this theory, then that would just be awesome. I'm pretty proud for coming to any sort of sensible conclusion on the matter (finally) no matter what, so go ahead and call me a dumbass, because I already know that! XD