A/N: Managed to overcome my writer's block and post another update. It took me ages. So sorry.
I feel like your guys' expectations are huuuge with this convo they're gonna have and it has made me become a bit nervous about posting stuff, but I love that you're so invested in this. Thank you! Fingers crossed my writing will live up to that.
I decided to split this chapter, so their talk will now be 3 chapters long, probably even 4. I don't know yet. But the next one is almost completely finished, so I'll definitely update sooner :) Wanted to show both an emotional Dom and Letty and as long as you can see them (re)acting that way I succeeded in staying in character. If it's too far off... My bad!
Flashback starts and ends in italics.
P.s. Your reviews make my day. Seriously. Thank you so much! Xxx
"Hey, have you seen Letty?" Dom asked, as he entered the kitchen, making Mia jump.
"Geez, Dom," she shrieked, turning around to face him. "Next time let me know you're coming to avoid this mess," Mia pointed to the floor where the plates she'd had piled up on her arm before were now nothing more than shards of broken china. "She's upstairs. She wanted to help put up the crib for my little girl," she smiled at him.
She still had a long way to go, but Mia couldn't wait for Jack's baby sister to arrive. And her son couldn't wait either. Every day he asked when she would get here, his small face lightening up in the greatest way. It warmed her heart. Mia knew Jack's excitement about the new baby could quickly turn into jealousy as soon as it was born, so she enjoyed seeing him like that as much as she could.
"Isn't that a little early? I mean you're not due for what? Another eight months," Dom laughed.
"That's what I told her, but she just wanted to do it." Mia grinned. "I guess she just wanted to have something to do. Can't be easy remembering everything. She probably needed some distraction, because her mind's going crazy. You know how much she hates that... when she can't stop thinking," she assumed, half-guessing, half-knowing.
"Well, let me help you clean up the mess then," Dom said. "Sorry about that by the way," he apologized, walking towards his sister, but she put one hand on his chest to stop him from going any further.
"Nah, I'm fine. I can still bend down, ya know? I'm not that pregnant yet. No need to step in. You should go talk to her," Mia urged him. These two definitely need to talk, she thought. The sooner the better.
"Why? Did something happen?" Dom's voice filled with worry.
"Just talk to her, Dom," Mia smiled at her brother. "One more minute down here with me and I will forget what our parents taught us and beat the eff outta you for not telling me that that's your wife up there," she added, hitting his shoulder.
"You guys really need to stop hitting me," Dom complained, laughing, as he rubbed his upper arm.
He didn't have to say anything else for Mia to know who the other person had been. Just yesterday, Brian had mentioned to her that Dom deserved some punishment for being 'such a sneaky bastard,' as Brian had put it, not inviting them to or even telling them about the wedding. Now her boyfriend had obviously given her brother what he thought he deserved.
"If you need me, I'll be upstairs," Dom mentioned, smiling at her, and kissed his sister's forehead before he left the scene.
The person he was going to see now had every right to hurt him for the things he had done to her, but somehow she seemed to have no interest in doing that at all. It was not like he had forgotten about their little argument, but Letty made him happy just by being there. He really didn't want any more fights or tears. He just wanted to talk. And kiss. He wanted to kiss her so bad.
"I'm still gonna kick your ass, Dom," Mia shouted after him, letting Dom know that she wouldn't forget what big secret he had kept from her. He was a sneaky bastard indeed, but she loved him anyway – and maybe even exactly because of that.
"Damn, you stupid thing, why won't you work," Letty hissed, hammering at the wooden crib a few times with one hand to blow off steam.
"Need help?" Dom's voice caused Letty to jump, and the hex key she held in her other hand fell down on the ground with a loud bang.
Dom smirked. That was the second time in just a few minutes that he had managed to startle someone by accident. "Sorry," he apologized. Closing the door behind him, he entered the room. "So, what's wrong?" he asked, approaching her. "Anything I can help you with?"
Letty looked at him, as she tried to smile. She was really happy to see him, but at the same time worried, because she didn't know what would happen next. Would they talk about Elena? She knew they had to. Would he mention last night? They probably had to talk about that too. Should she tell him about her conversation with Mia? Where had Dom been anyway?
"I did everything the way I was supposed to," Letty started to answer his question, as she turned back to the crib, "but you should be able to rock it and it just doesn't move properly." She hit the piece of furniture once more with her fist. "I'm like the worst aunt ever. Can't even put this stupid crib together." And again. "Fuck this!"
Watching her every move, seeing the expression on her face, Dom came to realize that it wasn't so much the crib Letty was so frustrated with. That baby bed seemed more like something she just projected her anger onto, because there had been no one else around, she could aim her frustration at. Until now.
"Letty... Did you actually read the manual?" Dom spoke softly, somewhat cautious not to make her madder than she already was, while he sat down next to her on the floor. He was concerned about her well-being, but he knew, her behavior didn't necessarily mean that something was seriously wrong with her, as Letty's mood could change quickly. She blew hot and cold just like stormy weather sometimes. She was feisty one minute, sweet the next.
"I don't do manuals, Dom," Letty scoffed, "I just go for it."
Dom had to grin at her comment and was glad that she didn't immediately bite his head off, given the mood she was in. "Mind if I check," he mumbled, taking a quick look at that little piece of paper that explained everything – badly, he had to admit. "Well, I think–" Even reading it, he wasn't exactly sure how it was done. Fixing cars was a lot easier.
"I think you just need to put this right here and that thing needs to go there, add a little more pressure here so it fits," Dom told her, adjusting the pieces of the crib accordingly, "and you're good to go. See?" Giving it a gentle push with his hand, the crib swayed back and forth. He gazed at Letty, smiling to himself.
Here they were, building a crib for their niece. It was hard for him not to think about doing this for one of their own someday. Sometime in the future they would get to have their baby sleeping in one of those. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Letty wanted kids, just a weak one in his heart that made him feel uncertain for the time being about what she really thought.
Staring at the crib, Letty couldn't help but think of the past while also thinking about the future. If things had been different, this could've been their baby's bed. But life didn't always turn out the way one wanted. Still, the question remained. Would they ever be parents? Was she ready to be a mother now? Having lost her memories had definitely made her look at her life in another way.
When they had been doing their jobs, basically all she'd cared about had been the adrenaline rush that set her heart on fire. She had known it was dangerous and she hadn't minded, because she had been so used to it – and because she'd had Dom by her side. But while she'd been back with the family, trying to figure out who she was, she had taken one step at a time and actually lived a rather quite life until the madness with Deckard Shaw happened.
She still felt like settling down for good wasn't something she could get used to so easily, but talking to Mia, and seeing Dom with Jack in the video Brian had recorded, had sparked something in her. It made her feel like taking things slow every once in a while was actually not such a bad thing. It wasn't as boring as she had always imagined it to be.
And she had spent so much time trying to get her memories back that all she cared about right now was her relationship with Dom, her marriage. She wanted to make up for all the time they had lost because she hadn't been able to remember one thing about it.
They needed to do this; needed to take things slow for a change, and whatever happened during this time, there would be no risk that wasn't worth taking or anything that wasn't worth fighting for. She had Dom to stick by her; that was the only thing Letty needed to be sure of – that he was here now and here to stay.
The brunette noticed Dom staring at her. It made her slightly uncomfortable and so she got up from the floor and walked over to Mia's bed to sit down. She turned her head to Dom, watching him as he watched her. "Thank you for leaving a note," she said quietly, but loud enough so that her words could reach him. "It meant a lot."
Dom lowered his head, briefly thinking back to the time he had left her without a word, leaving behind only the necklace and a pile of money. "I'm sorry for not being there," he then offered an apology for today and, standing up, walked over to Letty. "I didn't mean to scare you," he said, sitting down next to her, "I was just thinking that–"
"No it's okay. It– I didn't mind," Letty assured him. "It was– Thank you... for giving me some space. And I'm really sorry about last–"
"Don't worry about it," Dom quickly intervened when she mentioned last night, and smiled. "I still got to fall asleep and wake up next to you, that's really all I care about."
Letty put one hand on his cheek, stroking it with her thumb, as a weak smile got hold of her lips. "You're so sweet… and I was so mean..."
"It's fine. Really," Dom responded, nestling his cheek against her hand. "I just can't stand to see you cry, and I hate not knowing the reason is all."
"Dom, I'm– I just have a lot to take in right now. You don't know–" Letty sighed. She didn't want him to feel like she was pushing him away, shutting him out. That was the last thing she wanted to do. "You know, all of this… it's still hard even though I remember."
Dom nodded. He knew that. He knew how hard it must be for her to finally be able to remember everything that made her who she was; everything that had happened between them. And it was okay, if she needed to be alone every now and then. He just didn't want her to feel like she had to figure it all out by herself.
"But I'm here for you," he told her, his eyes making sure she understood that. "And whatever it is, you can tell me, Let. We're married." He needed a minute to let the words sink in. He would never get used to that thought of being married to her. Never. "You don't have to go through that alone. Not anymore. I'm here," he promised. "And I mean it this time, okay? No more running off."
With that affectionate look on his face and the sweet sound of his voice, there was no way Letty could've resisted the urge to kiss him, so she leaned forward and pressed her lips onto his. It was a loving kiss that lasted for almost a minute. She had her eyes closed and cupped his other cheek in the process, holding his face in both her hands now. Dom did the same with hers.
"I love you," she whispered, making Dom chuckle.
"What's so funny?" Letty muttered a little confused, eyeing him.
"Nothing, it's just– Well, you know, you didn't used to say it much." He smiled weakly, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. "I always knew, but you hardly ever said it back."
"But I always loved hearing you say it," she disclosed, and Dom started to grin broadly when he saw a little smirk on her lips – a reaction he had been dying to see since the last time he spoke to her.
"Remember the first time you said it?" she asked him and when he nodded, Letty couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry for being such a bitch back then," she apologized, pecking him on the lips, and rested her hands at the sides of his neck. "It was really sweet, I just couldn't–"
"Fucking do that?" Dom finished her sentence, laughing. It was a blessing to be able to laugh with her about something she had reminded him of. Not long ago, it had always been him, who had tried to make her remember things.
"You remember the words too? Oh God, I must've scarred you for life," she giggled, as she buried her face in the crook of his neck.
"Not that much to remember, is there? You were pretty clear," Dom laughed.
It had been about four months since Dom got locked away at Lompoc and Letty had only now managed to go see him. She couldn't stand the thought of having to look him in the eye and tell him about Mia and how everything at home seemed to fall apart without him there. She didn't want to disappoint him. She really tried to keep things together, but it was so hard. And so incredibly painful, too.
She had always been interested in him, but pretended it was nothing really serious. Then he had started hitting on her and she couldn't really figure out if he meant it the way it seemed, so she had kept him at a distance. They had eventually ended up becoming more than friends, friends with benefits, and she had like it, but admitting to herself that she had indeed fallen in love with him had never really happened until the moment those handcuffs had clicked and she knew he would be gone for a very long time.
It had actually been heartbreaking to see him get taken away from her. She could still feel the pain. Even four months later, it felt like her heart was still hurting, still breaking in her chest. The pain was too real. And she knew he had asked of her not to come visit him in prison, but she needed to see him. She needed to see what he looked like. She needed to know how he felt; if he was okay, even if it hurt.
Letty could hardly keep still in her seat. It felt like she had been waiting hours to finally see him. When the door opened and Dom appeared, she couldn't help but smile. He sat down in front of her and Letty hated the fact that there was a barrier between them. She wanted to hug him, feel his strong arms around her. She missed his touch so much.
She studied his face, realizing quickly how broken Dom was underneath his cool exterior. He put up a brave front, but he was exhausted and sad about being in here and away from his family. Letty could see that clearly, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, and she hoped it wouldn't get any worse, because it felt terrible to know how much he suffered.
"No offense, but you look like shit," she saluted him with a cheeky grin, trying to ignore the fact that Dom didn't look okay.
"Nice seeing you, too," he laughed, shaking his head at Letty's teasing welcome. He had missed her more than she would ever know, but although he was extremely happy she was here now, he remembered what he had told her before he got put behind bars. "I asked you not to come, though. Why do you never listen to me, Let?"
"Because I'm free to make my own decisions and I chose to come here, so if you want me gone, just say so, Dominic," Letty snapped at him, "but don't expect me to follow orders." She was a bit taken aback by the sound of his voice. Dom almost sounded like he was mad at her for ignoring his wishes and showing up here. Hadn't he missed her at all?
"What happened to your face," Dom asked, curiously but also slightly worried. He didn't want to fight with her now. Fine, she hadn't listened to him, but he couldn't act like he wasn't happy to see her. And besides, he had known right away that she would eventually turn up at Lompoc. After all, this was Letty. She had a mind of her own.
"Oh, that!" Letty smirked, her mood changing quickly. She was thankful that Dom hadn't in fact sent her away. Moving one hand over her cheek, which still wore some scratches, she explained, "Got into a fight. Some guy delivered a right hook to my face, I punched him back, now I have this ugly thing to remember him by for a while."
She raised her other hand, holding it close against the pane, so Dom could see her knuckles. "And this," she added. "Broke two of them, but the doc said it's nothing serious. It looks really bad, though, doesn't it?" she laughed.
Dom saw the bruises, the different colors her injuries had caused the skin on her knuckles to turn into. It looked like she had thrown a really hard punch. Hell, it looked like it still hurt a lot. He caught himself wanting to plant a kiss on those wounds, to make it feel better, but he couldn't and that made him incredibly sad.
"Do me a favor," he sighed. "For once in your life control your temper and don't let anyone put you into the hospital, okay?" Dom closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply. "Don't get yourself killed why I'm in here. I mean it. I'm worried enough as it is." He looked at her sincerely and the expression on Letty's face changed in an instant.
She was glad he hadn't ask why she had even gotten into a fight with that guy – then she would've had to tell him it was because of what was going on with Mia – but she suddenly felt so miserable, she just couldn't hide it anymore. Not being able to be close to him was even harder than she had imagined before coming here.
She loved him and she still had to wait years to get him back and be able to tell him that and be with him – or maybe not. She didn't know exactly how he felt. This friends-with-benefits thing had been going on so long it almost felt like they were officially together. But they weren't. She wanted them to be, yet she knew she could never be with him for as long as he was in jail, because that just hurt too much. It fucking hurt. She wasn't made for this. She hated this place. She hated the fact that he had gotten himself into this mess, and she kind of hated him for making her feel this way.
Why couldn't Dom just be a guy she liked to have sex with? And why couldn't she just find another guy to keep herself busy with in bed? Why did she want this couple thing at all? Why couldn't it just be about sex? Why did it have to be him? Why had she fallen in love with him? Well, she kinda knew why she had, but why him? Why now?
"Come home," Letty whispered loud enough for Dom to hear, "Please, come home," and put her hand on the glass. She missed him so much it physically hurt her. It was like she couldn't breathe in here knowing she would have to leave this place without him.
In a second, Dom had his arm up in the air, his hand pressed against the same spot on the pane where hers did. That glass barrier was the only thing keeping him from moving over to her and embracing Letty in a tight hug; making her feel what he felt for her. God, why had he done this to himself? To them?
She needed to know how he felt and for the moment he didn't care how she felt about him. It didn't matter. He just needed to put this out there; to admit what kept him awake at night all this time; that it were thoughts of her that warmed his heart in that cold cell he slept in.
Letty looked at their hands, trying not to cry. She felt stupid for even thinking that, but the almost-touch she shared with him this second felt more intense than everything his touch had ever made her feel when it had caressed her skin. It was an energy that captured her, making her get lost in the moment so much that she forgot about everyone else in that room.
"I need to tell you something," Dom started talking, fixating his gaze on her when she looked up to him and away from their hands.
There was something about his face that made Letty lose touch with the glass. She didn't know what it was that she could see in his eyes that suddenly made her feel so uncomfortable, but something just wasn't right in the way he looked at her. She couldn't even remember a time when Dom had ever looked at her like that.
Dom was a bit surprised about seeing her lowering her arm so fast, like her mood swung round again, but he didn't let her reaction confuse him for too much longer than it should and so he continued to say what he needed her to hear.
"The thing is, I have plenty of time to think here and it made me realize... I miss you," he declared, trying to smile at her. It ended up being a lopsided sneer. Letty eyed him suggestively with a raised brow, thinking she knew exactly what he meant.
"No, not like that," Dom stated firmly. "Not just the sex... I really miss you. Everything about you... and it's making me believe that I– No, I know that I–" He paused. Would his words change anything? Change everything? "I love you," he went on, his voice as sincere as it could be. "I'm in love with you, Letty. I'm serious. I love you and I want–"
"What the fuck, Dom?" Letty sprung to her feet, knocking over the chair in the process. "You can't tell me that now. Do you even know how hard–" She didn't continue, just looked at him and shook her head. Closing her eyes for a moment she tried to fight the tears. "I can't fucking do this. I'm sorry," she then stated and quickly left the room.
Outside, Letty leaned her back against the wall, breathing in and out, again and again. She felt as though she had what people called a panic attack. It was almost impossible for her to calm her breath. Her body collapsed hard on the floor; so hard indeed that she hurt herself a little, but she didn't care. Burying her face in her arms, Letty started sobbing.
She tried to get comfort out of the thought that Dom wouldn't be in Lompoc forever. Some day he would get out and then she would have the courage to look him in the eye and tell him. But she didn't feel like she could do this right now. She didn't feel like she was strong enough to be with Dom – who she couldn't actually be with, because he was locked up in a cell. It hurt too much. She hoped he knew that was the only reason why she had rejected him like that. It wasn't because she didn't love him back.
"Would you please make sure she's okay?" Dom asked the officer, who put the chair back up that Letty had knocked over. "I will go back as soon as I know she's alright." He resisted the guards from taking him back immediately by standing still on the ground as though someone had put his feet in cement.
"Please go check on her. I can't– I need to know she's okay," Dom pleaded. He really wasn't too proud to beg. It saddened him that Letty had reacted that way, but he still thought it had been right to tell her. Maybe she needed time to let it sink in; think about it for a day – or two – and figure out what she felt for him. He hoped this wasn't the last he had seen of her.
"She's gone, Mr. Toretto," the man told him after he had gone outside, wanting to check up on the woman who had stormed through the door earlier. "I'm sorry. There's no one in the hallway." He looked back at Dom and Dom lowered his head, taking a step forward without having to be pushed by the guards. This was it, wasn't it? He had scared her away.
"Maybe I shouldn't have told you when I did, but I really needed you to know that I couldn't get through that without you," Dom reminded her of the past, looking at Letty with a crooked smile. "Even if it was just the thought of you."
"Your timing's always been the worst," Letty asserted, assuming a seriocomic tone. She returned his smile and put a strand of her hair behind her ear, thinking, before she continued, "But I guess, even if you had chosen a different time to tell me, I still would've freaked out because, you know… being in love with you never gets– It'll always scare the shit outta me, Dom," she admitted shyly.
She turned her gaze away from him, shifted around on the bed, conspicuously nervous, one hand tightly encompassing the other. She clenched her fingers, not realizing how tensed her actions made her entire body appear. Her face was taut with trepidation.
Letty had learned to rope in her emotions but the fire still burned, even if the flame burned subdued. If only she were angry, then it was easy for her to just say whatever was going on in her mind. But if something really pulled at her heartstrings, she could hardly find any words to voice her feelings. To be hard and have walls up came more natural to her than showing raw emotion, showing vulnerability.
She didn't want to be vulnerable and loving someone as much as she loved Dom did make her extremely vulnerable, because it meant she had so much to lose. She hated that. Dom knew it; every single one of their friends knew it. Letty loathed having to depend on someone, but she really was dependent on Dom to stay alive and be with her for the rest of her life.
She remembered the accident and what it had been like holding Dom's lifeless body in her arms while she'd wanted nothing more than to feel him breathing; the relief at hearing his voice that had washed over her with such intensity that she had thought her heart had stopped and only his words made it beat again. She had never felt so vulnerable in her life and she never wanted to feel that way ever again.
Letty became aware of Dom's arm on her back, then on her shoulder. She turned her head to face him again. Dom looked at her, deeply moved, half-smiling. "I know," his baritone voice stimulated her ear drum. A warm chill ran down her spine and when Dom pulled her into his arms the tension in Letty's body eased and she relaxed into him, soft and pliant.
Dom drew in a deep breath, closing his eyes. She felt so good, so right, so… his. Just holding her close like this meant the world to him. Knowing she was finally with him again, alive and with every memory that made her who she was, still left him somewhat speechless. No one would ever understand how much he cherished that dream he was fortunate to live. How could he ever have let that go? Let her go?
Letty waited for Dom to say some more, but he kept silent. She didn't mind, as she knew he understood her and probably felt the same way. He didn't need to say anything else. There was a reason why they both had fooled around with each other before committing to a serious relationship. Having a weak spot was one thing, letting other people know about it another.
"Your sister punched me for not inviting her to the wedding... and not telling her about it," Letty raised her voice again after the silence became too much to bear. She looked at Dom, slightly grinning.
"Me, too. And Brian," Dom chuckled, stroking her arm. "You think he's having a bad influence on Mia? Should I tell him to stay the hell away from her?" Although he was anything but serious, he gave his best to act like it, a saturnine look on his face and an arched eyebrow to make a point.
"Definitely," Letty answered, as serious as Dom acted. "That boy is trouble. And he was from the very second he walked into our lives. He tore our family apart and broke your sister's heart. He doesn't deserve her." Her sharp voice and her piercing glance irritated Dom.
"Um, just to make sure... You're joking, right?" he asked confused, letting his arm fall down on the mattress. He pulled back, but already saw her body shaking with laughter. And it only took a second until Letty's laugh invaded the pavilion of his ear. "Oh, you almost had me," he laughed, slapping her lightly against the shoulder, which only caused more laughter coming out of her mouth.
He had forgotten how much he enjoyed just laughing with her about the silliest things. Most people didn't even know they did that whenever they were together – and alone – for a few hours. But they hadn't done that in a long, long time and after all this drama, it just made Dom feel more alive than ever. Yet he knew they couldn't keep this up.
Dom tried to calm himself down. It worked, but it took him a while to get control of his heavy breathing again to be able to speak his mind – and his words took Letty by surprise. "Letty, we aren't–," She had expected their conversation to turn to that direction sooner or later, but she had wished for it to wait until she was ready. Would she ever be ready for this, though?
"Okay?" she ended his sentence in the form of a question, knowing exactly where he was going with this. "Yeah... I know," she told him, now feeling like someone was choking her, as her throat felt constricted and the lump inside was slowly depriving her of her last breath; slowly killing her. "But why– Why can't we just go back to–"
"The start?" Now, it was Dom's turn to finish her sentence the same way she had finished his. It was a question, not a statement, but just like she had been, he was right too. He could see Letty nodding, right before she leaned against his shoulder and sighed. Dom dropped his cheek to rest on her head. He lay one hand on hers, hoping it would help her relax.
"You know we can't," he stated, wishing he could've given her a different answer, but everything unspoken between them was hanging above their heads ready to crush them any minute if they chose to ignore their issues. "Too much has happened and we need to talk about it... All of that." He paused for a moment, then added, "But I'm willing to go first, if that makes it easier for you."
Letty intertwined her fingers with his. She was scared; so scared about what they had to do now, and as if Dom could feel it, he squeezed her hand as a sign of encouragement. They could do this. Being brutally honest with each other was never easy, but it was always the right thing to do. He truly believed that, and so did she. One of them just needed to set the ball rolling; start somewhere.