Homestuck Therapy Chapter 27: New Mediums! Skype and flowcharts!, a homestuck fanfic

This is barely relevant. It's also a Skype conversation. Yup.

Jessica

you seen the latest homestuck?

just one page, but interesting

mostly for the cliff hanger *cough*

Kalyn

okay I'll read it

crackpair heaven, lol

I now ship AR/Roxy

ARoxy

Jessica

haha

makes sense ^^

Kalyn

Wonder what AR's "plans" consist of. Although I'm guessing it has to do with Roxy actually, and sort of like freeing up Jake? Maybe? Dunno.

There's still Jane.

Jessica

yeah

Kalyn

And they're gonna talk about the "Jake thing" ZOMG

Jessica

i know!

Kalyn

Should I copy/paste this into HT too?

Jessica

why not?

Kalyn

Ugh, too many mediums...

okay...

...

Kalyn

I got the best idea

Jessica

Kalyn

bluetooth

I live in close proximity with many other people, many of whom have devices with bluetooth.

Jessica

aaaaand?

hack their phones?

Kalyn

sort of lol

well I see my neighbor's computer, and I can send files to it

multiple files actually

I could spam the shit out of it with over 8 and a half hours of kpop

all at once

the only downside is my computer has my name, so it'd be too obvious

I even renamed my phone to try it, but unfortunately you have to "pair" the devices first with a mobile

so he probably denied it

Jessica

haha

why do you want to do this? XD

Kalyn

it just occurred to me as a thing that could happen

I could be SUCH A TROLL

Jessica

hahaha

Kalyn

I can also listen to their itunes if I feel like it...

Jessica

lol

that's really not good!

is it because you share wifi then?

Kalyn

I've seen his itunes. There's a shit ton of disney.

Jessica

hahahahaha

Kalyn

maybe? we're all in the same network

it could also just be proximity though

macs are weird like that.

did I tell you about my mac's psychic powers/

Jessica

Kalyn

I was just going through it and I found all these old files from as far back as freshman year, but I only got this laptop last June

mom thought maybe from email, but I deleted any emails I had from then, I did a whole purge

there's no way it could've picked them up from our old laptops because they were gutted

and it has nothing to do with it just "finding" the files and documents from just my name and picking them out of cyberspace, because some of them didn't even have my name attached

it's a huge fucking mystery how they got there

I never put them on any flashdrive or anything

it's just bizarre

Jessica

wow

residual energy from your house?

Kalyn

lol

isn't it just the strangest thing?

Jessica

yes

Kalyn

I found these documents just a couple days ago

Jessica

huh

Kalyn

I deleted most of them (I left one from creative writing that I liked lol)

Jessica

yeah

lol, unless it is going to go absolutely nowhere, i tend not to delete stuff

hey! speaking of documents, i've got a story that you might like to read

i kept forgetting to ask you, but i have it in my googel docs

wanna read it?

Kalyn

sure

Jessica

where should i send it to?

Kalyn

but I stil haven't written my profile...

just send me the linnk? or something

Jessica

fanfiction critics again?

Kalyn

doesn't matter

Jessica

ok, i'll see if it will work

hell, for all i care you can log into my account if you want to type on it

Kalyn

lol you can also invite me...I think

but I seriously need to write some shit I'm sorry I've been procrastinating for way too long

Jessica

i can

Kalyn

this isn't helping anything, I promise I'll read it

Jessica

pff, it's fine,

get yo' work dun!

Kalyn

ah! I'm not a flake!

Jessica

hahaha

i'm worse about that

Kalyn

okay...

see you!

Jessica

love you!

Kalyn

hey.

Jessica

gah!

Kalyn

hey.

Jessica

what?

Kalyn

hey.

Jessica

*glare*

Kalyn

you're talking to Emily right?

she just commented that it was difficult.

Jessica

yeeees... *glances suspiciusly*

Kalyn

wanna combine?

Jessica

what?

what's difficult?

talkingg all at once?

Kalyn

yes

Jessica

WIMP!

Kalyn

lol

Jessica

i think i wouldn't mind combining herr

And then we did. And skype-based technological shenanigans ensued.

Mostly that I had each of them join the conversation I was having with the other, so there were two windows (and I caught them by surprise with both of them), and also (and I think this has to do with who was part of the original conversations and who did the inviting) we had fun editing each others' messages and our own and making it impossible to accurately document the entire conversation. I was the only one able to edit everyone's messages though, Emily could edit hers and Jessica's, and Jessica could only edit her own. Therefore I was the dungeon master. Oh yeahhh. And you can bet I abused that power relentlessly. :]

And below is some of the chaos that happens when you have three people trying to talk on skype at the same time!

Emily

i wanna give a famous person a fist bump...

Kalyn

hah

I'm gonna find a famous person to fist bump

and then take a video of it

and send it to you

Emily

sad...

bitch

Kalyn

lol

ILU

...

Jessica

ok, i'm going back to my My Little Pony thing

see ya : D

Emily

Jessica

yes : D

Emily

fine, kalyn and i will flirt

Jessica

it's going to be beautiful

you should read it when it's done

both of you

and Morgan too

Emily

k-kalyn?

Jessica

Shhh, it's ok

Kalyn

actually I'm currently updating Homestuck Therapy because suddenly I can log into fanfiction

Jessica

it's just us now

damn it!

Kalyn

only dreams now!

Emily

we're gonna flirt

Jessica

sigh

fine

bye

Emily

byeeeeeeeeee

come here sexy kalyn

Jessica

have your blasphemous flirtations

see if i care

Emily

;)

Jessica

yeah, here i am

not caring

Kalyn

always behind the winky face

Jessica

not even a tiddly bit

Emily

h'ok

Kalyn

...

Jessica

lol

Kalyn

tiddly.

Jessica

yup

Emily

fun word

Jessica

tittly?

Emily

sounds sexual

Kalyn

oh yes.

Jessica

lol

Emily

come over here sexy kalyn and we're gonna have a tiddly

Jessica

uuuuuuuhhhhh *Gamzee face in Highblood Pressure*

Kalyn

hehehehehe

I'm bolding our names!

Jessica

you naughty girl you

i think?

Kalyn

um no?

Emily

HOLY SHIT YOU CRAZY

Kalyn

more work goes into HT than you think!

Emily

oh...

sorry

Jessica

No, I believe it

Jessica

that's why I wouldn't do it XD

Emily

BUT PEOPLE CARE!

Jessica

i know

i still wouldn't...

although i appreciate the work that goes into it!

i'm just really fucking lazy

Emily

YAY KALYN

Jessica

oh my god, didn't even get through the second episode

i gotta take a break

Emily

muahahahahaha

Jessica

i'm surprised at how much i can type on pastel colored ponies!

Emily

KALYN I'M WATCHING

GIVING IT A GANDER

Kalyn

hahaha pastel colored ponies...

yay!

love Music Mondays! Simon and Martina are the shit!

Emily

YAY

Kalyn

So did you not find the subliminal messaging? Or did you already know about it?

Emily

I'M ONLY A LITTLE MORE THAN A MINUTE IN

Kalyn

yeah I was wondering if you saw it in the picture

guess not...

Jessica

what?

MLP?

Kalyn

what?

what's wrong?

Jessica

sigh, what are you talking about?

i am confused, as always

Kalyn

oh haha latest macro

Jessica

oh, ok

oh, ok, the "fuck me blind" thing?

Kalyn

yup haha

Jessica

lol

Emily

IZ funnah

Jessica

brb

more homestuck, you read it yet?

Kalyn

pretty sure

Jessica

i'm on the first page currently

Kalyn

it ends with the "I've already chosen these two characters" thing yes?

Jessica

ummm...

the entire update?

i don't know, dirk tries to leave his room though

does that ring a bell?

ohp, yup

Emily

HAVEN' READ

HOLY SHIT

K READ

Jessica

okey

Emily

are we just noticing that there's an update or are we conversing about it?

Jessica

uh... dunno

do you have anything to say about it?

Emily

oh...not really

Jessica

lol

well, i liked how UU stopped "cheering" Bro rather than "trolling"

just thought that was interesting...

Emily

oh yeah

Jessica

and now that I think about it, does it seem as though there might only be two trolls in her session?

Emily

i don't even remember that snap's chef hat stuff...

Jessica

she said that her "coplayer" but...

what?

Emily

i'm now reading homestuck therapy

Jessica

i haven't read that in ages

actually, not since we were typing it XD

Kalyn

do I have to copy/paste THIS now too?

Emily

not if you don't want to...

Jessica

it's not much!

Emily

I'LL DO IT?

Kalyn

lol I'm actually editing the Skype conversation from last time right now, soo...

I could just...move it...

Emily

oh...ok...

Kalyn

even though it really isn't that much at all.

so I think I'll just not.

oh but you did bring up something interesting.

Emily

h'ok

Kalyn

damn you.

Emily

WHO?

Kalyn

Jessica

Jessica

: D

Emily

what?

Kalyn

...

The idea that UU might be in a session with just two players.

I don't think it's necessarily true, but it's still a theory.

Jessica

yeah, it was just something i threw out

Emily

oh right...

Kalyn

Although UU hasn't even entered the medium yet.

Emily

i think if the beta trolls had a shit ton of trolls, then there will also be a shit ton of alpha trolls

Kalyn

The trolls all thought they would have 6 people on two teams

Emily

OR THOUGHT

THOUGHT

what if, just like the beta trolls, there are teams, and there are only them on that team?

Jessica

(Karkat and co. are the alpha trolls, aren't they?)

Kalyn

yes

sort of

theirs wasn't a game so much as a virus, right?

Emily

FUCK, CAN WE BE MORE SPECIFIC ON WHO ARE THE BETAS/ALPHAS?

Jessica

the young trolls after the scratch

Kalyn

Betas=original session

so the ancestors of the trolls we know and the original kids

Emily

well, that's what i've been saying

wait

Kalyn

Alphas=the session post-scratch

Emily

so wait, how are the trolls alpha?

Jessica

they are the second try for that universe

Kalyn

just because it's the same name we're giving to the kids, it operates the same way

Jessica

the second try for the kids universe play "Sburb Alpha"

Emily

oh...

well fuck, i've been using beta for both of them

Kalyn

yes. the Beta version of a game is the test-run for it.

Jessica

damn it! you beat me to it!

Kalyn

where they see if it has any bugs by letting some testers play it.

Jessica

and John and co, and the ancestors and co. were "test runs" so to speak

Kalyn

yes

Emily

well i know

Kalyn

so they're the Betas.

Emily

i get the kids as betas

i'm just..fuck...

Kalyn

Post-Scratch sessions are Alphas, so the trolls we know (since their session was after the scratch) and the new kids.

Emily

i'll just either accept i don't get it, or refuse to change my ways

Jessica

lol

you don't have to understand why, just know that Karkat and co. are the alpha trolls and Jane and co. are the Alpha kids

Kalyn

Just remember that there was a session before the trolls we know. It was when trollian society was peaceful, before their session was scratched and Doc Scratch's influence came upon Alternia and turned trollians into a war civilization so that they would be able to beat the game this time.

And switched the roles of players and ancestors.'

Emily

wait...we know this?

Jessica

both of the alpha's had outside interference (just thought of this)

Emily

fuck

Kalyn

yep

Emily

FUUUUUUUCK

Jessica

it was during Doc Scratch's preening

pretty sure

Emily

oh...

fuuuuuuuuck

Kalyn

Remember Scratch's long winded tales of the ancestors?

Emily

not really

Kalyn

He briefly explained that they were the players of the first session before it was scratched and the roles were switched.

Jessica

lol, Emily, here is your homework: Reread Doc Scratch's ramblings XD

Kalyn

yes

Emily

oooooooooooooooookkk

Emily

when i'm done reading homestuck therapy

btdubs, are any of ya'll on facebook?

Jessica

yeah, you'll see a lot of this there too

Kalyn

yes

Emily

Jessica

btw, emily, i think the reason why we remember it better is because we were reading it while it was updating at that point, while you were behind enough that you wanted to get done

so, it's understandable

Emily

cause i was gonna put one of my theories i've had for a while...

yeah

Kalyn

put it here,

I'm gonna copy/paste it all in one go

Emily

but fuck, i kinda remember where i was when i was reading that

Kalyn

it's a lot easier on skype

Emily

i told jessica about this

Jessica

oh?

Emily

i think, that jake and roxy are gonna have a thing

Kalyn

I thought it would be Jake and Jane

Jessica

oh... *embarrassed because she doesn't remember that*

pff, i'm pulling for Dirk and Jake

Kalyn

Although on the way there I wouldn't be surprised if all of the kids got their chance with Jake.

Emily

cause in the KIDS BETA session, dad and mom had a thing

Kalyn

oh, well yeah. How is Dad connected to Jake though?

Dad is a universal constant.

Jessica

a guy from that side of the family?

Emily

huh?

Kalyn

what?

Jessica

lol, i like to think of them all as a large incestual family

Emily

awwwwkwwwward

Kalyn

whut.

Emily

but sexy

Jessica

even though, really, the j's aren't related to the blondies (need better name)

Kalyn

okay but Emily. Explain.

Emily

well,

i dunno

Jessica

it's just how i imagine them

how i rationalize this

*shrug* no real reason

Kalyn

Jessica, what are you talking about?

Emily

first off, so, jake=jade and jane=john

ya know?

Jessica

yeeeeaaaah...

Kalyn

sure, they're the ancestors that they actually know they're related to in each session.

Emily

even though we think of it the other way

Jessica

(i'll explain, don't worry, kalyn)

Emily

BUT dirk=dave and roxy=rose?

Kalyn

sure

Jessica

yeeeeeaaaaah...

Emily

first off, why the fuck is that, it messes with my mind

Kalyn

(but I also made the case that based on chumhandles, it could be the other way around)

Emily

it's one reason why this fucks me up

Jessica

oh, the girl=guy then girl=girl and guy=guy thing?

Kalyn

Except...no wait, haha, John and Jade have different chumhandles than their own "relatives" so...damn.

holes.

Jessica

truuuuue

Emily

cause you could either go with it 2 ways=the incorrect way, where jake=john so roxy and jake will have a thing

Kalyn

Either way, you could make a better case to saying Jade=Jane and John=Jake and Dirk=Rose and Roxy=Dave

Jessica

yeah

Emily

OR you could do it the correct way where jane=john and roxy and jane have a thing

Jessica

hahah, bwhat?

Emily

gah, it makes sense in my head

Jessica

ok, i see where you're goin

Kalyn

I'm confused. How come both of these make Roxy and someone have a thing?

Jessica

well, i see where you are in your rationalization

Emily

since in the beta session rose's mom and john's dad had a thing

Jessica

(see, that's the part i don't see tying in, lol)

Kalyn

okay well Dad isn't related to ANY of them

Emily

HOW? THAT'S HOW I'M TYING ALL THIS IN!

Jessica

yeah he is, he's related to John and Jane

lol

Kalyn

Roxy is totally attracted to Jane's Dad, which is the same Dad John had

yeah, but he wasn't part of the whole...NO HE ISN'T

Jessica

yes he is! ... ok, not to Jane

Kalyn

There was no birth giving with his semen!

Emily

BLAHAHAHAHHA

sexy?

Jessica

well, he could have been sewing his wild oats for a while...

we don't know this for a fact

Kalyn

Jessica

*cough*

creepy...

Kalyn

THEY CAME IN ON METEORS

Jessica

lol

buuuut!

Kalyn

Jessica

he ISS related to Grandpa John!

Emily

I'M NOT BASING THIS AS IF THEY HAD KIDS OR NOT

Jessica

and Grandma Jane!

Kalyn

...hmmmmmmm

Jessica

he is their child!

Emily

ROSE'S MOM AND JOHN'S DAD LIKED EACH OTHER

Kalyn

true. That is strange.

Jessica

in both universes

Emily

THEY ARE NOW THE KIDS

Kalyn

How both Nana and Poppop were able to produce the same exact offspring.

Jessica

no... no they're not... only Rose's mom is a kid...

Emily

ERGO, (tee hee) ROXY, AND WHO EVER THE FUCK WE ARE HAVING JOHN'S DAD BE HAVE A THING

Jessica

well, yeah! we're ignoring genetics here!

Kalyn

uhh, John's Dad is still...Dad.

Jessica

at least 32 characters were created via ectobiology

Kalyn

Unless you're talking Colonel Sassacre here, which I think would be a more solid theory than Jake or Jane.

Going by your logic.

Jessica

whose?

whose logic?

Emily

did you guys just read what i just said at all?

Kalyn

Emily

Jessica

Emily

or are you just ignoring me?

Kalyn

no. I said that your theory doesn't make a whole lotta sense...

Jessica

John/Jane's dad-Dad as we shall call and have always done so-is never going to be a kid

Mom became a kid

Bro became a kid

Emily

i'm not talking about the kids

Jessica

you are! Roxy!

remember?

Emily

wait

Kalyn

what? You're talking about Roxy and Jane/Jake

Jessica

because Roxy had a thing for Dad

Kalyn

yes

Jessica

in both timelines

Kalyn

yes

That's the main connection to be drawn here

Jessica

so, what's emily sayin'?

Kalyn

Dad is universally constant, and Roxy's attraction to him is as well.

Jessica

yes

so...

am i being really obtuse here?

Kalyn

Emily

that's is not what i'm talking about at all

Kalyn

Please explain then!

Emily

what does obtuse mean?

Kalyn

nevermind

Jessica

dense

stupid

Emily

...

gah, i'm gonna copy and paste what i said

Jessica

Emily

On 2/11/12, at 12:31 AM, Emily wrote:

ROSE'S MOM AND JOHN'S DAD LIKED EACH OTHER
On 2/11/12, at 12:31 AM, Emily wrote:
THEY ARE NOW THE KIDS
On 2/11/12, at 12:31 AM, Emily wrote:
ERGO, (tee hee) ROXY, AND WHO EVER THE FUCK WE ARE HAVING JOHN'S DAD BE HAVE A THING

Kalyn

Except Dad's not a kid!

Jessica

yeah...

who are we 'having John's Dad be"?

Kalyn

and in THIS universe, John is the ancestor, so his "dad" would be Colonel Sassacre

Emily

when i was talking about the "2 ways you could have it, the incorrect and the correct way" that's what i was talking about

Kalyn

but the hole is DAD WILL NEVER BE A KID he will never switch roles with anyone! He's always gonna be between Jane and John in whatever generational order!

Emily

GOD DAMNIT I CAN'T HAVE HAVE ONE PROFOUND THOUGHT WITHOUT YOU GUYS RUINING IT!

Kalyn

but I'm so confused by it!

Jessica

BECAUSE WE DON'T UNDERSTAND!

how about you type up everything you can about this and then either copy and paste it here

Kalyn

in an essay.

Jessica

then we won't interrupt you and you can get all your thoughts down

yes

with citations

in MLA

Emily

Kalyn

organized

Emily

fuck that

Jessica

noooo

we want to knoooooow

Emily

citations and MLA and all that shit

Jessica

oh, ok

i think?

Kalyn

just a thorough and organized explanation that's all I want

Jessica

me too

Emily

i've already said shit, but you guys were ignoring me

Kalyn

NO WE WEREN'T

Jessica

no, i read every word up there!

it just made no sense

Kalyn

So did I!

Emily

...

Kalyn

I couldn't see the connections you were making!

Jessica

same

just type it all out from start to finish and show all your connections

hell, make a flow chart if you want!

Emily

hahahaha

Kalyn

that could be fun haha

Jessica

i know ^^

Emily

if i feel like it tomorrow, and can remember, i will make a god damn flow chart

with pretty colors

Jessica

please write it all out too

Emily

and crazy awesome fonts and shit

Jessica

the flow chart will help though!

Emily

and it will be the most organized flow chart you will ever see

and you will be wanting me to make flow charts for your classes

and you will get high marks on your amazing flow charts

and everybody will be asking how you did them

and you will say your friend emily made them

and they will be asking me to make flow charts for them

Jessica

and then we'll get a zero because we cheated *crestfallen*

Emily

and i will have to start charging for my services

and i will get so many customers that i could retire at age 20 and live in a lavish LA home for the rest of my life wile i date joey richter and have aweome clothes and an awesome body

and not have macy walking all over me and standing on my chest

Jessica

(except he lives in Chicago, where they are more friendly to play productions)

Emily

nope

(conversation devolves into Joey Richter)

We are excitedly anticipating the flow chart.