A/N: I'm thrilled you're loving this story so far. Thank you so much for all the kind words! If you have anything you'd like to see, feel free to tell me. Maybe I can add that in at some point. As for this chapter, I only had parts of it written tbh because I wanted to fast-forward the story a bit, but I felt like it was important to kinda wrap up the talk before I continue. I just wanted them to have some peace. For now.
"I love it when you call me your husband," Dom whispered after a long while of not saying anything, smiling to himself. "I mean, I love being your husband," he added, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "Nothing you do will ever change that, Let, I promise."
Letty smiled against the warmth of his skin and breathed in his scent. Dom had the same natural smell about him that he had had when they had first hooked up. It still evoked the same response but tenfold. It was like an aphrodisiac she could hardly resist. It filled her, rich and masculine, clean and sexy. And then sometimes, it made her feel protected and comforted so much so that she just wanted to bask in his manly scent like one basked in rays of sunlight, simply just taking it in and enjoying the way it indulged her senses.
"We're pretty messed up," Letty muttered, shifting in his arms so she could see his face.
It seemed like all of Dom's anger was gone. His eyes still had tears in them, but the more time she had to study his face the more she got the impression as though he was in fact rather happy than sad. Letty figured it had to be because they had stopped arguing, at least for the moment. All that fighting was exhausting. Feeling Dom's hands around her back, holding him, was much better. It was exactly what they should do for the rest of the day – be close to each other. No more fights, no screaming.
"We've been through worse," Dom noted, releasing one arm to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear.
"You think?"
They had been through a lot, but Letty couldn't think of anything as bad as this. Sure, he had spent two years in prison while she had tried coping with the fact that she was in love with him, she had almost died and then lost her memory, but everything seemed like a walk in the park compared to the mess they had gotten themselves into now. They were supposed to be happily married and this didn't seem like a happy marriage to her. The only thing that really made Letty believe it could be was the absolute certainty that they loved each other.
But when? When could they be really happy? Was this the start? Had they – with all of that fighting – just taken the first step towards a happier future for them? Dom looked at her firmly for an instant, and that firm look appeared to fuel all her hopes. Maybe they had. Even if she didn't agree with him and thought this was the worst kind of messed up they had ever been, it sure as hell didn't mean they weren't able to overcome this. With only one look of his, he made her feel like they could really get through anything.
"Letty, you have no idea how much it means to me that I get to do this. Fight with you... cry with you... or because of you," Dom argued. "I'd rather be fucked up with you than alone."
He had always hated being alone. And now life had taught him that there was nothing worse than having to be without her. He was glad that time was over. The simple fact of having his wife back with him was more important than all their issues and he had to let her know that. He rather fought for this relationship than not having one at all. Dom couldn't imagine Letty to feel any different. She had made it very clear that she'd be fighting for them for as long as he would, and he would be in this forever. Nothing could ever make him stop fighting.
"We might not be doing so good, but at least we're together," he said as he put his hands to the sides of Letty's face. Cupping her cheeks, Dom gave her a weak, reassuring smile. "And I'm sorry I judged you," he apologized to her. "I just–" He sighed deeply.
It was still very hard for him to process that she had had an abortion without him even knowing she had been pregnant. He knew he shouldn't have flipped out on her like that, but this had really hit him close to heart. It made him incredibly sad that she'd been carrying his child and had felt so lost without him that she had taken such a drastic step. Another thing on the long list of things he had to forgive himself. And he really needed to forgive her too, because she didn't deserve to be blamed for this when he surely had done worse.
"I know you want a baby, Dom," Letty told him when his mouth remained closed. Her voice was low, not angry.
"No," he managed to get out. "I mean yes, I–" His arms fell down, holding her at the waist now, his eyes fixating the ground. Dom heaved another sigh.
True, he did want to have a baby, but he didn't want Letty to think that he wanted a child more than he wanted them to be happy. That was his main priority – to work out all their issues so they could live a happy life. And if Letty didn't want kids, or if they chose to not have any or were unable to conceive children for whatever reason then at least they had been happily married. All he really wanted, and she had to know that, was to make her happy, because if she was happy then so was he.
"It's alright, you know. You can tell me," Letty said quietly. "I'm not gonna flip out on you or run off... Your grip's too tight anyway."
"Oh, I'm sorry." Dom quickly pulled his arms away, so they weren't in touch with her body anymore, and raised his head, looking at her as if he wanted to apologize.
"Dom, I was just kidding." Surprised by his reaction, Letty tried to stay calm, telling herself that they would stop acting like they were walking on eggshells or hot coals around each other soon. "You can– Give me–" Curling her fingers around his wrists where they manacled together and held his hands firmly, she slowly guided his arms back to her hips. "They're fine where they were," she smiled at him, happily noticing how his grip tightened and his hands slowly moved behind her back. She was locked in his embrace again.
"Why do I get so nervous around you," Dom wondered, and only realized that he had said it aloud when Letty released a small chuckle. He could feel his cheeks turn red with embarrassment.
"I guess you're scared to do the wrong thing... or say it?" At least that was how she felt. Everything seemed so fragile between them right now that she was seriously worried one little thing, one small word, could tear them apart even more. She knew this feeling would pass, she just didn't know when. She had never thought of it like that, and it hurt having to admit it, but being around him had been a lot easier when she couldn't remember anything about herself or about him.
"I really am," Dom confessed, lapsing into a helpless chuckle, but there was no real mirth in it. He seemed desperate, desperate about not knowing how to cope with their difficult situation. "Aren't you?"
Letty nodded, as she put one hand on his cheek and caressed the soft skin with her thumb. She was just as scared as he was, but it helped to know that they both didn't want to let their fear of failure get in the way of this healing process they had just initiated with their honest conversations and those fights. It was important to keep being that honest, if they wanted to succeed. Even if they had to fight their way through and get into more arguments to heal, she was convinced it would only make them stronger.
"God, you look beautiful," Dom sighed when his eyes met hers.
"Stop that," Letty chuckled lightly, bending forward to bury her face in his shirt.
"Why," Dom asked, kissing the side of her head as she leaned it against his chest, breathing calmly.
"Because," Letty pulled back to look at him, "this is supposed to be a serious talk and you saying things like that makes–"
"You feel embarrassed?" Finally, Dom managed to show that he wasn't as sad as he appeared to be. He flashed her a grin that she was happy to receive. He could tell.
"It's distracting," she argued. "And a lie." Letty slowly rubbed her sore eyes and blinked several times. Her eyes burned, and she thought she was going to be sick for a moment. Thank God this seemed to have an end now. No more tears. "My eyes hurt from all the crying. I'm sure I look like shit." He was right, though. She did feel embarrassed sometimes to hear him say how much he admired her looks, but she would never really want him to stop. After all, she was a woman, and she certainly loved being adored by her man – by a man that had taken half a lifetime before he even acknowledged her existence; really acknowledged, like she had wanted him to.
"You do not," Dom laughed softly. "And even if you did," he put his lips to the side of her neck, smothering it with light tender kisses, "you'd still look beautiful to me." He kissed her cheek. Twice. And again. It just felt so good to him to do that after all the fighting between them. "But to answer your question–"
"I didn't ask one," Letty remarked, feeling her whole body react to Dom's actions, craving more. She tried to focus, but his warm breath against her skin, the light touch of his lips on her cheek, seemed to baffle her senses. She was grateful that what had happened between them earlier couldn't keep him from still being that affectionate towards her.
"But to answer your question," Dom repeated, "Yes," he stepped back, looking at her. "I would love to have a baby... your baby." For a second, he appeared a bit shy in admitting that. He tried to hide it with a weak smile. "And I really wish you hadn't– But– Letty, if you're not ready for it– If you'll never be ready– If you don't want kids, it's–it's okay." Dom took her face in both hands, smiling through gritted teeth.
Letty couldn't help but to find it somewhat adorable how nervous he was, visibly afraid to say the wrong thing and piss her off. He really didn't want to hurt her and yet he wanted her to know that the baby she had aborted back then was the baby he wished to have now. Was he still disappointed in her, still felt betrayed? That's what she couldn't tell, but no matter if he was or wasn't, he seemed to want finding his peace with it.
"Dom, I–"
"Really, it's okay," he butted in. "I just want you... us... to be happy. I don't care if it's with a kid or not."
"But you do care," Letty's voice sounded frustrated, almost like she was in despair of not being able to share his sentiments. "You just told me."
She sighed deeply. Just minutes ago she had been sure they could handle a baby, because she was ready for it now – now that she was back with Dom – but the more she thought about it, the more it started to freak her out. What if she just thought she was ready to be a mom when she really wasn't? What if they were going to have a baby and she freaked out so much their relationship would fall apart for good? She couldn't risk losing Dom over a baby. But she couldn't risk losing Dom over not having one either. What was she supposed tell him?
"Letty, listen to me," Dom started, his voice so sharp it penetrated her ear drum so forcefully that she just couldn't turn her eyes away from him, even though she wanted to. "You're the one I care about most in this world, and I'm sorry I made you doubt that when I left you." He paused, thinking. "I care about you more than I care about a baby and if you tell me that you don't wanna be a mom, then so be it. I just want you– I really want you to be happy with whatever decision you make." He stroke along her cheeks with both his thumbs. "And I want you with me. That's all I care about."
Letty looked him deep in the eyes and felt herself melting right before Dom's face. His touch, his look, his words, everything screamed 'I love you.' She knew she was probably just overthinking things. Why did she even care so much about the future? The present was too damn good to be poisoned by negative thoughts about what could happen. She needed to stop thinking and focus on what was already there. After everything they had been through, the future was theirs to create. They were back together, and right now, that was really the only thing that should matter to her. Anything else could wait.
"Can we just be married for a while and not think about babies?" Letty asked, her voice nothing more than a whisper.
"A while?" Dom raised an eyebrow, half-grinning.
"A long while," Letty corrected herself, returning his almost-grin with one of her own.
"Well, in order to make a baby, we need to have sex first anyway." Dom laughed, and even though it didn't sound like he was holding that against her, Letty still felt his words stinging her.
She knew she wasn't supposed to be scared to give herself to him, to sleep with him, but there still was the hurtful memory of the last time she had done that and she couldn't shake that feeling off – that feeling of excruciating pain when she woke up all alone after she had spent an entire night being so close to him. The last time she'd had sex with Dom was also the last time they had been together before she had lost more than just the memory of that passionate night.
"I'm working on that," she told him, trying to hide the sadness in her voice. He really had no idea how much she actually wanted him.
"I know you do," Dom said quietly, pressing his lips to her mouth. He smiled at her as he broke the kiss, stroking gently along the sides of her body. "We've got time."
"I don't need much, just–"
When she tried to explain herself, a soft chuckle vibrated deep in Dom's chest. "C'mere," he said, as he wrapped his arms around her again. Laying his chin on her head, he emitted a deep audible breath. "I've never seen you so– Shy is not the right word, maybe it's emotional, but, you know, I've never seen you so–"
"Weak?" Letty spoke against his chest, hugging him.
"You're not weak," Dom laughed. "You're just not– There's more to you than that ass-kicking, tough girl, who loves to throw a punch. I've always known, 'cause you let me see that, but I feel like what happened to you–"
"Turned me into a fucking pussy," she stated, smirking.
"Letty, will you just shut up?" Dom pinched her sides, laughing again, only much louder. "I was gonna say, it changed you. You're starting to open up more. I don't have to– You know, you've never been one to talk when it's something very close to your heart. Walls up. You like to keep your feelings to yourself, because you don't wanna seem weak. But now it's like– You trust people not to hurt you with what you tell them about you and–"
"Don't make me regret that," Letty stated firmly, moving in his arms so she could look him in the eyes. "I mean it, Dom. I've never really shut you out, but I fucking will if you-"
"And you should know that you can," Dom finished his sentence. "That was what I wanted to tell you, had you let me," he explained. "God, Let, why do you consider being emotional such a battle? You don't have to fight your feelings all the time, because you're afraid to let others see what's inside. Not everyone's gonna hurt you if you show–"
"Oh, c'mon," Letty blurted out. "Don't act like you're one to top off that champagne bottle of emotions and watch them spray all over the place. You're as bad as me, Dominic Toretto. Don't you dare pretend like you're any better." Grinning at him, she made sure he understood that this wasn't an insult. She really meant what she had said, but she had said it to tease him.
"Can we just agree that we're both bad at doing this?" Dom grinned back at her.
"At least we're opening up to each other," Letty noted. "That's a start, right?"
"Yeah... we really needed that." He paused for a minute to give her, as well as himself, some time to recall everything they had talked about. His mistakes, Elena, her abortion. It was a lot to take in and Dom was sure that they needed more than just a day until they fully comprehended what it all meant for their relationship, their marriage. And they needed to continue not being afraid to talk about anything they feared could happen or anything they weren't happy with. "Seriously, Letty, this can only work if we're a hundred percent honest to each other, no matter what we are feeling." Shifting uneasily in her arms, he took a tremulous breath.
"What?" Letty asked, sensing that something was bothering him.
"Speaking of being honest, there's somewhere I have to be, but I'll be back for my birthday, I promise," he answered, clearly anxious about how she would take the news.
"What? But that's–" She tried to keep her temper, but Letty felt like him deciding to go away now was equivalent to him running away from their awkward situation and the issues they still had. What was all that talk about being together and getting through this together, if he chose to leave it all behind by going away? It was worth nothing. "But, Dom, that's like five days. Where do you wanna go for five days?"
He knew she didn't like surprises, and this certainly wasn't the right time to pack his stuff and head off to somewhere, but if he wanted this thing to work he couldn't tell her anything about it. It was hard having yet another secret to keep from her. He could only hope that in the end she would be glad not to have known about it. However, looking at Letty, he realized that he was playing with fire and there was a great chance he might get burned. But he was willing to take that risk, because he knew it would be worth it. He just knew.
"I can't tell you. I need you to trust me," he tried to allay his wife's sorrow. "Do you trust me?"
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't," Letty said without hesitation. "But I–" She took a step back and, running one hand through her hair, uttered a sigh. "But you can't keep doing this. It's–" Letty's eyes locked onto the face of her dear husband, pleading for him to understand her struggle. "You keep running away from me and as soon as I get you back you keep telling me, this is it... and then you run off again. Do you even know how exhausting that is?"
Dom quickly grabbed her hands, pulling her towards him again. "I know I'm asking a lot from you, baby. I really do," he made clear, "and I know I shouldn't... Not after everything I've done, but–" He almost had tears in his eyes when he continued, "But this is something I have to do... for us," he explained. "The last thing I wanna do right now is leave you again, but I gotta do this. Please, let me do this, Letty." Caressing the back of her hands with his thumb, he gave her a look of entreaty, effectively disarming Letty.
"This better be fucking good," she growled.
Whatever the fuck he was planning on doing that she couldn't know about, it had to be worth it. Looking at him, she felt like it was, though. And after everything they had talked about, fought about, cried about today, he wouldn't dare to leave her for something that wasn't completely mind-blowing, would he? She hoped for his sake that he wouldn't, because if he did, Dom would have to deal with a very pissed-off wife. Possible ex-wife then. He kept messing with her head and, more importantly, with her heart. She just couldn't take it anymore.
"Promise me, you'll call me," Letty asked him for something she usually wouldn't have. She could bear not seeing him for a while without talking to him, just not right now; not under these complicated circumstances where there were old wounds still stealing into their relationship every day.
"I'll get on FaceTime every single day," Dom promised, cupping her cheeks. Then he smiled. "And I'm gonna see this beautiful face and be reminded of how lucky I am to get back home to this woman every time I do." He kissed her while his thumbs stroke her sensitive skin.
When Letty felt his lips on hers, she just gave in. She really was sick of arguing, so she preferred to trust him rather than initiating another fight. She put her arms round his neck and as her fingers touched his cheeks, she felt them get wet. He was obviously crying silently. She didn't know why and she didn't need to know, but the fact that he did just made her feel like he really wanted this to work as much as she did. They were both deeply touched by the issues threatening to break their relationship.
"Are you leaving right now?" Letty wondered after their lips parted. "Does Mia know?"
"She knows, and no, I won't leave until tomorrow," Dom replied with a smile. "So whatever you wanna do today, I'm in."
Letty had never been one to plan ahead and just spent every day with whatever spontaneous thing came to her mind, but now that she knew Dom would leave soon, she really wanted today to be different. It had to be somewhat meaningful. Nothing super romantic or cheesy but something they both enjoyed doing, something fun. And there was usually one thing she knew for a fact he loved getting a real kick out of. They both did.
"There's something going down on Prairie Avenue tonight," she said, and a smirk lit up her face. "I know your sister wouldn't want us to, cops and all, but–"
Dom started grinning broadly as it became clear to him what she was referring to and, man, did he love the idea! "But Mr. and Mrs. Alpha need to let people know they're still in the game," he noted.
Ruffling her hair, he gave a small chuckle. Of course Mia wouldn't like to see them do something illegal again after they had just managed to finally clear their names, but to stir up trouble in the world of street racing with her as a married couple, almost like the old days, was a very exciting thought. He hadn't taken part in a quarter mile race in forever. In fact, it had been so long ago that Dom felt like people had forgotten about who used to rule the streets of Los Angeles. This was their moment to race back to fame.
When Dom put his hand on her head and ruffled her hair, Letty laughed and gently pushed his hand away and adjusted her hair. He ruffled it again. She adjusted it. Before he ruffled once more she backed away. "Stop it," she grumbled, feigning annoyance as she adjusted her hair one last time. Inside, she couldn't help smiling at Dom's playfulness, his fit of excitement. And she shared his excitement. That street race was the best thing she could do right now to distract herself from everything she had to struggle with these days, because for those few minutes, she was free.
"What if you lose?" Dom asked, still letting his anticipation show by that wide smirk on his face. "Do I have to spent the night sleeping on the floor?"
"Oh, please, are you kidding me," Letty retorted, teasingly rolling her eyes at him. "You know that's not gonna happen, 'cause Mrs. Alpha is gonna show the boys out there that she's still the one with the balls in this thing." She pointed at him then to her to make him understand that with 'this thing' she meant their relationship. As she walked past him, Letty hit Dom lightly against the chest and glanced up at him. "So don't cry all night when I roast your cute little ass... Mr. Alpha."
Dom was quick on the comeback, throwing his arms around her to keep her from getting out of reach. He tickled her in all the places he knew she was ticklish – good for him there were a lot – and held her tightly in his grip as she yelled at him to stop and tried to free herself from his embrace. He enjoyed this moment more than anything. After all the fighting that had been going on between them, to laugh with her meant the world to him.
"Let go of me," Letty screamed, laughing so much she could hardly breathe and had to gasp for air.
"No way," Dom laughed.
And then it was like someone had suddenly flipped a switch as they both calmed down until it was so quiet they could hear Mia working in the kitchen downstairs. With Letty in his arms, her back pressed against his front, Dom rested his chin on her right shoulder. Closing his eyes, he sighed. Letty slipped her fingers around his arms and leaned her head against his, eyes closed too. They kept quiet for a minute until she decided to break the silence and open her mouth.
"You mean it, don't you?" she whispered, her chest rising and falling as she heaved a small sigh of relief, grateful for the peaceful atmosphere in a room that had been filled with so much anger before. Her grip around his arms tightened as though she feared he would move away from her.
"More than anything," he mumbled, touching her cheek with his lips. "There's no way I ever let you go again." Dom pulled her even closer, leaving no doubt that he really meant what he said. "Ride... or die... remember?"
Like I said, I wanted to do a little time jump until Dom gets back. Should I stick to that or do you want to read their goodbye and then maybe have another small chapter while Dom is away? Let me know in the reviews or PM me :) Have a great weekend! Xo