Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns Twilight. I do not. I do however, own my 'gang'.

A/N: Flying solo folks.

Thank you to my reviewers.

Chapter 56

After my less than graceful exit from Taylor's apartment, I crept back to my room. Thankfully, Liz and Ryan hadn't woken up yet so I didn't have to deal with any awkward questioning... yet.

Indulging in a warm bath helped soothe my sore muscles, but did nothing to ease the turmoil in my mind. The urge to confide in someone became overwhelming and without thinking about it, I found myself, phone in hand, dialing a number that I'd come to know by heart. She was the one person who could remotely understand what I was feeling right now.

"Damn it, Bella. Your ass had better have a good reason for waking me up before ten on a Saturday." Leah grumbled, her voice was still groggy and thick with sleep.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I blurted, "I slept with Taylor."

There were three seconds of silence before Leah shouted, "Halleluiah! So you finally got rid of the dead spiders and shook the cobwebs out of your crotch, huh?"

"Dead spiders? Cobwebs, Leah? Seriously? I'm freaking out and you're making jokes."

Some of the amusement left her voice. "All right, fine. What are you freaking out about? Was the sex god awful?"

"No, actually the sex was just… incredible." I sighed and then gave my head a shake to get back on track. "That's not it. Leah, I think… I think he said he loved me."

Leah let out an amused snort. "Oh, all right. Let me just impart this piece of knowledge right here and now. If he said it when he was on top of you… it doesn't count."

"No, I think he said it after. Right before I fell asleep."

"Wait. You keep saying think. Are you even sure he said it to begin with?"

"No, I'm not a hundred percent," I admitted hesitantly.

"So what did you say after he said he loved you?"

"Nothing. I kind of fled the scene before he woke up."

"Wait a minute. Tell me you didn't leave that sexy ass man to wake up alone over something you're not even sure he said in the first place." The evident disbelief in her tone forced me to rethink my actions.

Aw hell. I didn't think about how Taylor would feel to wake up alone. The only thing on my mind was getting the hell out of there. If our situations had been reversed and I was the one waking up alone, I'd be devastated. He probably felt cheap, like I'd used him for sex or something. I'm a freaking idiot!

"Damn. I think I messed up, Leah," I confessed and felt my heart twist with guilt.

Leah was utterly unsympathetic. "No shit. What was your first clue, Sherlock?" Following my answering groan, Leah continued, "Damn, Bella. Running out before the other person wakes up is such a guy move."

"Leah–"

"And that's only something you do if the guy you slept with was ugly."

"Thanks for making me feel worse, Leah." It was no wonder Taylor hadn't told me his secret. If I couldn't handle him having… serious feelings for me, how the hell could I deal with the news that he was part creature? Jeez, Taylor was right. I am a skittish horse.

"Oh, quit your moaning. When you want sensitivity, call Emily. When you want friendly advice, call Angela. When you want the truth with a side order of bitchiness, I'm your girl."

Leah had a point. I could've easily called Angela instead of calling her. Maybe deep down on a subconscious level I knew I needed a kick in the pants. And who better than the she-wolf to fulfill that need?

"And to make matters worse, Zach caught me sneaking out of Taylor's room."

"Damn, Zach caught you doing the walk of shame. You really have the worst luck, Bella." Leah cackled gleefully at my distress.

"Don't I ever. But I don't think I imagined the whole I love you thing, Leah. I really think… he loves me."

"So, what are you gonna do?" Leah sobered, all trace of amusement now gone from her voice.

"I don't know." Whatever my next move, I would have to figure it out soon because somehow I had the feeling that Taylor would come looking for me.

After a brief pause, Leah ventured, "Do you love him too?"

"I just… I'm not ready," I croaked, stumbling and tripping over my words. It was hard to trust myself. I had a nasty habit of falling in love with men I couldn't have.

"Look, I get it. Believe me, I get it."

"You know, things were going just fine before he went and ruined everything." Why on earth did I think that Taylor wouldn't want to get serious?

"Exactly. What is it with these guys anyway? You give them all the sex a guy could want and they have to go spoil things with feelings and shit," Leah grumbled, feeling just as put out as I was. I was aware that Leah and Zach were having problems of their own. About what? I didn't know, since both of them refused to tell me what they were fighting about.

"Leah, we sound like a couple of nut jobs." I massaged my scalp, feeling a dull pain in my head. God, not another tension headache.

Taylor and Zach weren't the problem, we were. There wasn't anything wrong with wanting a real relationship. However, it looked like Taylor and Zach lucked out when they decided to get involved with a couple of girls who had issues.

"Leah, do you think we'll be like this forever?" We both knew what I was asking; if she thought we'd be crazy for the rest of our lives?

"Like what? Damaged and messed up on so many different levels?"

The bluntness in her tone made me flinch. "Yeah."

Leah gave a weary sigh before answering. "God I hope not. I don't know about you, but I'm getting real tired of being screwed up."

I am too.

"Thanks for the snark, Leah." Beyond my door, I could hear Liz and Ryan having breakfast in the kitchen.

Leah went back to her crabby self. "Yeah, whatever. But if you ever call me this early on a Saturday again to tell me about your Joey loves Pacey, Dawson's Creek bullshit, I will–"

"Yeah, yeah. Kick my ass and whatnot," I interrupted rudely and Leah grumbled something that sounded like another threat before hanging up. I sat staring at the phone in my hand.

Holy crap, Taylor Reed loves me.

The pain in my head intensified when I stood and journeyed to the medicine cabinet in search of some relief. I picked up the bottle of prescription migraine pills before setting it back down with an exasperated sigh. Those pills were as ineffective as they were costly. Since Tylenol was the only thing that ever offered any kind of relief, I reached for that instead.

I hastily threw on a robe then went in search of something to eat, before those pills had a chance to eat away at the lining of my stomach.

It took all of my courage not to run back to my room, when I walked into the kitchen and discovered that Taylor was among the three people sitting at the breakfast table. I suppose I should have been grateful that Zach, after waking up early to embarrass me, had decided to go back to bed instead of joining us. Definitely didn't need him around, wriggling his eyebrows and dropping innuendos.

Feigning impassivity, I murmured a greeting and then went about the business of gathering my breakfast. I could feel eyes on me as I claimed the seat next to Ryan. The tension of the room was thick with everyone seeming to be on edge. Liz kept throwing furtive glances between Taylor and me, observing our lack of interaction, while Ryan did his best to ignore what was going on around him. He attacked his breakfast with that single-minded purpose in mind. He seemed determined to stay out of the palpable tension that was brewing in the room.

One would think that with the active night I'd had, I would've been famished. However, with my stomach in knots, I couldn't handle anything more than a piece of toast and a few sips of coffee. For all the good eating did me. My toast tasted like sawdust in my mouth, and yet I forced it down anyway. In between bites, Taylor would occasionally glance at me, but like the chicken I was, I was too embarrassed to look at him. He was probably mad at me and he had every right to be.

I knew that I owed him an explanation for leaving the way I did. Though, I hadn't made up my mind about what to say to him. Whenever I did decided to talk to Taylor, it wouldn't be in front of an audience.

I raised my cup to my mouth and almost choked when Liz inquired, "Are you feeling better, Izzy?"

"Yes, I'm fine now." I'd almost forgotten about the little lie Taylor told so we could have an excuse to skip last night's after party.

"I checked in on you last night, but you must have been at Taylor's," Liz commented with a deliberate slowness that told me she was probing.

Oh crap. She knows.

My mouth went dry and to my horror, I began to feel that little telltale blush crawl up my neck. Taking a moment to gather my composure, I sipped my coffee before replying, "Yes, I slept at Taylor's last night." I gazed at her coolly, silently daring her to just come out and say what she was thinking.

Through narrowed eyes, Liz stared back at me, though just as she was about to speak up, Ryan interrupted her. "Eat up, Liz. Don't forget you're coming down to the youth league with me today."

Somehow, I guessed that their trip had more to do with getting Liz out of the apartment for the day, than it did with Ryan having to check things out at the club.

Clearly, Liz thought this too because she opened her mouth again, only this time it was to protest. One look at a serious–faced Ryan and she closed her mouth with an indignant huff. Without any further questions, I quickly finished breakfast and then retreated to my room, where I spent much of the time chewing my fingernails.

It wasn't long before I heard Liz and Ryan leave the apartment and I assumed Taylor went back to his place. Sighing with a mixture of disappointment and relief, I uncurled myself from the chair by my window and then shrugged out of my robe. I went to the dresser and pulled out some clothes, tossing them on the bed.

During my self-imposed solitude, I'd come up with a plan. I was going to find Taylor, and tell him the truth about how I wasn't good at feeling things. That it would probably take a little longer than he would like, but I was willing to try. We were going to talk things out; I just had to find him first.

Standing in front of the mirror, I ran my tongue over my lips, observing their swollen redness. My entire body felt fevered and ultra sensitive to the touch. I found myself blushing as I recalled the way I responded to each of his commands. If nothing else, I'd been the perfect student to his lessons, eager, flexible and a quick learner. Everything about Taylor; his touch, his taste, even his very scent was intoxicating. It wasn't just about the toe-curling sex. When he bit me I never felt so connected to anyone in my life. It was both wonderful and scary at the same time. I wanted normal, but it was beginning to seem like normal did not want me. What other reason could I come up with for my constantly forming attachments to supernatural men?

My gaze wandered away from my face to my neck and I froze. Now frowning, I tilted my head to the side, tentatively brushing my fingers over the place where Taylor had bitten me. The teeth marks didn't resemble that of a human, but looked closer to how I'd originally imagined a vampire's bite would appear. That was before Edward explained to me that real vampires didn't have fangs. In place of crescent shaped wounds, there were two red puncture marks where his teeth had broken my skin.

It looked like fang marks. Did Taylor have fangs?

What the hell?

"Hey."

I started at the sound of Taylor's voice, and spun around to find him leaning against the door frame with an unfathomable expression on his face.

My mouth felt so dry that I had to lick my lips before replying, "Hey. I thought you'd left."

"I didn't." A dangerous curl appeared at the corner of his mouth then disappeared.

"Where were you this morning?" Taylor drew closer at a controlled pace, his green eyes roamed my frame; no doubt absorbing the view of me in my underwear.

"I… I had a thing." There was a breathless sort of nervousness in my voice.

A wry twist of his mouth expressed his disbelief.

"A thing? What thing?" Still, Taylor moved toward me with an easy pace of a predator that knew he had his prey exactly where he wanted it.

"I… I–I," I stuttered mindlessly as he trapped me against the wall with his body. Although he was close enough to touch, he chose to hold back, teasing me with his proximity.

"What thing?" His voice sounded slightly ragged as he leaned in to nuzzle my ear.

The doubts floating around in my head began to lessen, fears dissipating right along with them. I tried to put up some sort of resistance, but Taylor was just too good making me forget my fears.

Strong hands settled on my waist, travelling over the curve of my hips to grasp my ass and yank me flush against his hard body. My hands automatically went to his chest, feeling his firm muscles tense beneath them. I swallowed thickly, when I encountered his growing hardness pressing against the curve of my stomach.

An irrepressible shudder went through me when he lowered his head to the curve of my neck. My hands slid around his neck with one of them finding its way into his hair. My toes curled when he sensually laved his tongue over the mark. His mark.

I made one last grab for some semblance of control. We needed to talk. I had a plan... things to say. "I think–"

He took my lips in a slow, long kiss.

"You think too much," he groaned against my mouth.

And just like that, all of my questions and confusion from earlier faded away, and I was left with a feeling I wasn't sure I'd ever truly experienced before, peace.

With dizzying anticipation, I turned off my mind, allowing him to pull me toward the bed.

Daytime sex was far more detailed than nighttime sex. There weren't any shadows and we didn't have the concealment of night to hide behind. Not that Taylor made any attempts to hide at all. He seemed perfectly relaxed in his nude state, merely content to let everything just hang out. While I had to constantly quell the urge to grab for the covers. This was definitely a new level of intimacy for me.

Later, I was lying in bed, drifting in and out of sleep while Taylor's fingers danced across the bare flesh of my back. I shivered with delight at the light touch of his talented hands. Every now and again, Taylor would lean in and brush his soft lips against my shoulder, his dark tresses tickling my skin. We hadn't spoken a word to each other all day, choosing instead to communicate through a series of heated caresses and languid kisses.

The contented silence was filled with the achingly melodious sound of his humming. I released a sigh of contentment, and felt his lips curve into an answering smile. I felt so safe and secured, that I couldn't help but wonder if I had ever truly felt that way with anyone else before. What a fool I was to think that I could walk–run–away from this.

Eventually, memories of my melodramatic exit began to drive away my buzz and I found myself plagued by feelings of guilt.

I propped myself up on my elbows, tracing the pattern on the pillowcase with my finger. "Taylor… about what happened this morning. I–"

"Freaked out?" I felt Taylor pull back, his warm palm resting flat against my back.

"Well… yeah." That was one way of putting it.

"Because I told you… how I felt?" I was so frigging grateful he didn't say it again, because I wasn't ready to hear it.

"So I didn't imagine that?"

"No." His fingers traveled along my spine and down to my hip.

"Oh… well, you see…" I trailed off not knowing how I was going to finish my sentence. How the hell was I going to tell Taylor that I wasn't ready to say I love you back to him, without hurting his feelings?

Firm hands grasped my shoulders before he rolled me over to face him.

"Look, I just wanted to let you know how I feel, that this isn't just a casual thing for me. I wasn't expecting you to say it back. Although…" he paused with a small, playful smile. "It would've been nice to hear. I've spent enough time with you to know not to try and pressure you. If anyone tries to push you into something you're not ready for, you dig in your heels and refuse to budge. It's how you're programmed. You could never let anyone rush you."

Words failed me as I stared up at him.

Surprised, would be the word used to describe what I was feeling. All these years I thought that Taylor stared at me because he thought I was cute or something. But in reality he'd been studying me, learning what made my crazy ass tick. Although, I couldn't help but feel flattered he would put so much time and effort into figuring me out, a part of me was conflicted.

On one hand, a girl liked to maintain a little mystery with the man in her life. And yet on the other, it was nice to have someone understand, without my needing to explain, that I wasn't ready to just close my eyes and jump. With Edward, I went from hello to I love you in just a matter of days. And just hours after breaking off our engagement, I was about to jump into another serious relationship with Jacob. I had a past history of just rushing into relationships and intended to learn from my mistakes. I wanted – no, needed for things to be different this time.

"I just want you to get used to the idea." His green eyes were dark and burning with emotion as he gazed back at me.

Taylor was utilizing the same technique someone might use on a wild, traumatized animal, in an attempt to gain its trust. He was making slow, measured movements as not to startle me. Soon he would have me domesticated enough to eat from his hand. My pathetic thoughts made me grimace. I was like a dog that had become accustomed to getting kicked, but still hoping that things would turn out differently this time around.

Deep inside, I wondered if I was being unfair to Taylor. Would I ever be ready to say it back? Was I too damaged?

"But while we're on the topic, how do you feel about us?" His expression became guarded, unreadable.

My heart somersaulted in my chest but before I could utter a word, the sound of heavy footsteps stomping down the hallway broke the silence.

My bedroom door burst open and Liz barged in shouting, "Aha! I knew it!"

"Jeez, Liz! What the hell?" Taylor and I found ourselves scrambling to cover up our nakedness with pillows.

"I knew it! I just knew something was going on between you two!" Liz continued, pointing an accusatory finger at us. Behind her, Ryan poked his head through the door and mouthed sorry at us before disappearing again. Clearly his plan to give Taylor and me some privacy had failed.

Liz zeroed in on me, holding a pillow to my chest. Through narrowed eyes, she fixed me with a glare that said she meant business. "Bitch, I wanna talk to you."

With that said Liz turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"You should really start locking your door." Taylor sat up, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Somehow, I don't even think that would keep Liz out of my room." I reached for my robe and tugged it on. "I better go talk to her before she barges back in here again," I laughed weakly and felt Taylor's eyes boring into my back as I left the room.

Liz had every right to be pissed at me for lying to her. Although a part of me wondered if Liz's anger stemmed from her not being so happy about the idea of her brother and me becoming an item.

In the living room, I came upon the scene of Liz pacing back and forth. She waited for me to sit down before unleashing the full force of her anger.

"I can't believe this. I thought we were friends, Izzy." She stopped pacing long enough to fix me with a scowl.

"We are friends, Liz. I just–"

"So how long have you two been sneaking around behind my back?"

"Actually last night was the first time we…" I trailed off feeling heat creeping up my neck.

Liz wasn't buying it. "Oh, no. Don't even try that with me. I've been picking up some weird vibes from you two ever since the whole Vermont thing."

"I'm telling you the truth, Liz. Taylor and I didn't sleep together until last night. But you're right; we've been sort of hanging out since we kissed in the cave."

All the anger seemed to drain out of Liz as she dropped down on the cushion next to me. "You know what, Izzy? This hurts. I've been rooting for you and my brother to get together for so long. And when it finally happens, you don't even tell me. I thought we were closer than that, but I guess I was wrong." Liz sniffed and looked away.

Aw hell, now I've hurt her feelings, I thought with a pang of guilt.

"Liz, the reason I kept it a secret is because… I've done all of this before."

"Done what?" Liz turned to look at me with a frown creasing her forehead.

"Done the whole…" dating a guy with supernatural issues. "…dating my best friend's brother thing and a lot of things got screwed up."

"I don't understand." Her frown deepened.

"You remember when I told you guys about how Edward and I broke up the first time?" Liz nodded. "Well, I didn't tell you everything. We had this misunderstanding…" if you could call Jasper trying to rip my throat out a misunderstanding. "… and Edward broke things off and left. He didn't just disappear on me. He convinced his entire family to move away and told Alice she couldn't have contact with me anymore."

Liz lifted a rebellious eyebrow. "And she listened?"

"Yeah, she did. They all did. And this went on for months until…" I went after him. "…he came back."

Comprehension dawned on her face. "So you're afraid that if things don't work out with my brother that everyone would just up and abandon you?"

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"Okay, first thing… Edward Cullen's an ass. The second thing…" Liz clenched her fist then punched me in the arm.

"Ow!" I cried, clutching the throbbing spot where she hit me. I finally confessed my deepest fears and get punched in the arm for it. "What was that for?"

"That's for being an idiot. Do I look like Alice Cullen to you?" Liz's face went hard, her anger simmering just below the surface.

"You know what? I liked you better when you were hurt." Hurt Liz never punched me in the arm.

"Do you honestly think we would do that to you? That I would do something like that because my brother told me to?" Liz demanded, becoming more and more agitated with each spoken word. I was getting a little bit worried. Liz's mood swings were scary, and I didn't want to get punched in the arm again.

I felt my own temper flare in response. Nothing about this had exactly been easy for me either. "Jeez, Liz. Could you seriously blame me for thinking that? It's like I'm cursed or something. Every time I get serious with a guy, I get the rug pulled out from under me. And then I wind up two steps away from the nuthouse. So you'll have to forgive me if I'm not exactly shouting my business from the rooftops."

My reluctance to call Taylor my boyfriend stemmed from my fear of commitment. Acknowledging Taylor as my boyfriend–admitting that we were together–would make out relationship all the more real. More real than anything had been for me in a long time and real was scary. So freaking unbelievably scary.

Apparently, my outburst had dampened Liz's temper somewhat because her voice was noticeably calmer the next time she spoke. "My brother and me… we're not the Cullens, Izzy. But since you're so worried about history repeating itself, let me promise you something. If, and that's a huge if, things don't work out and my brother completely loses his mind, and demands that I not talk to you again, I'll… respectfully decline." By the amused yet wry curve of her lips, I imagined that her courteous rejection would be something along the lines of punching Taylor in the face.

"But somehow I don't think it'll ever come to that," Liz smiled, her recent distemper completely forgotten. I couldn't help but marvel at her ability to abruptly change moods.

"Are you a psychic now?" I teased, deciding to take advantage of her good mood.

"I don't have to be psychic, Izzy. I'm just a firm believer in the saying third time's the charm." She smiled confidently.

Oh, so she was expecting Taylor and me to get married and have a million babies. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes.

Suddenly Liz threw her arms around me and squeezed. "I'm just so happy for you, Izzy."

"Jeez, Liz. Taylor and I only slept together. He didn't get down on one knee," I managed to wheeze out.

"I think…" Liz pulled away then paused to consider her next words. "I think that, after all this time, you're finally starting to believe that you deserve to be happy."

Maybe I was starting to believe again. Jacob was happy with Carmen. Hell, even stuck in his ways Edward was getting back out there again. Surely, after a crazed red-head vampire, an army of newborns and a vampire mafia I was entitled to some happiness, right? When I added the recent drama with me getting attacked by a psycho, falling off a cliff and battling a wolf, it was starting to look like the universe really owed me. With all the shitty things that had happened to me in the past, there needed to be some kind of balance. There had to be something that made it all worthwhile.

My inner musings were interrupted once I observed the mischievous glint in Liz's eyes. Oh no. Here it comes.

"So, how was the sex–" Liz broke off abruptly as it finally occurred to her what she was about to ask. "Ewwww!" She cringed with a disgusted shudder.

I couldn't help but laugh at her expression, and feel a little relieved that Liz wouldn't be delving into my sex life. If she did, she'd have to prepare herself for a lot of talk about her brother's sexual prowess. As kinky as Liz was, she wasn't prepared to cross the naked brother line.

Too bad I wouldn't have that advantage where Angela was concerned. She'd pump me for every bit of information she could get. Especially since she and Trent weren't sleeping together yet. And it wasn't for her lack of trying either. Many a night I'd found myself on the phone, listening to Angela complain about how Trent won't give her any.

"This is so unfair! You finally sleep with someone and I'm too grossed out to hear about it." Liz complained with annoyance mounting in her voice. "This sucks. I tell you stuff about my sex life all the time."

"Yeah, you do. No matter how many times I ask you not to." I swear if I had to hear about how Ryan liked to suck on her toes or how he liked to have his nipples pinched… Damn, I really need to get me some sexually inhibited friends.

"So, are you and my brother like in a relationship now, or what?"

"We were sort of in the middle of that discussion when you busted in on us."

"Oh. Well, don't let me stop you. Go have your conversation," Liz spoke hurriedly and began shoving me toward the hallway.

As I walked past the kitchen, I saw Ryan set some bread down on the table, and paused long enough to warn him. "Um, you might wanna disinfect that table before you make your sandwich."

Ryan snatched the bread off the table with a horrified look on his face, and I had to clamp my lips together to keep from laughing. Poor thing. At his reaction, I decided against extending my warning to include the counter tops and continued on my way. What can I say? The tiled floor in the kitchen had been too cold for Taylor and me.

Now wearing his jeans and T-shirt, Taylor lifted his head, regarding my entrance with anxiety etched into his features.

"What does this mean for us? What happens now?" A nervous energy surrounded us, making it a battle to ignore the furious pounding of my heart. Oddly enough, knowing that Taylor didn't have all the answers, gave me the courage to lay my cards out on the table. It was time to stop running.

"So here's the thing, Taylor. There are things in my past that I will probably never be able to talk about. Talking about commitment and the future scares the crap out of me because every time I want to be with someone, it ends. Badly. And I'm freaking out because I… I want to be with you. But you should know that I'm a mess. I'm a flat out crazy mess. But if you're sure… then okay." I ended with a choked sob. The underlying emotion in my confession left me feeling more vulnerable and exposed than I had in a long time.

All right, so maybe it wasn't just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her material. But I'd never been particularly eloquent when it came to talking about feelings, and I didn't think that was going to change anytime soon. I was broken and damaged, but if Taylor could find it in his heart to want me anyway, then I was his. For as long as fate would allow.

Taylor's long legs ate up the distance between us as he moved to stand in front of me. "You mean it? We're a real couple?"

"Yeah."

"And no more sneaking around?"

"Okay."

"And when I wake up in the morning, you'll still be there?"

"I promise."

"And we'll finally get to tell people about us?"

"Jeez, fine," I relented, acting like he was strong arming me into it, when I was actually fighting to suppress my growing smile.

There was a short pause before Taylor lifted me off my feet and spun me around. I wasn't able to hold back my giggles, holding on to his shoulders for dear life. Taylor's deep, rumbling laugh joined mine, and grew louder after we heard Ryan groan, "Oh God. You two aren't gonna have sex again, are you?"

Taylor set me back down and I sank into the warm cocoon of his embrace.

"We'll be so happy together. I'm sure of it." Warm lips gently brushed against my forehead as he spoke. And somewhere deep inside, a part of me agreed with him. We would be good together.

But there was one question still tugging at my mind. I pulled away slightly to peer at his face.

"And this?" I reached up to tenderly stroke the flesh on my neck. "What does this mean?"

"It's just a symbol of my commitment to you, that's all." His green eyes were made darker by the intensity of his emotions.

Why did I get the feeling that Taylor had just given me the watered-down version of what his mark really meant?

I still didn't know what Taylor was and to be completely honest with myself, I didn't care. For the first time in my life, I was making the decision to be happy and just go with the flow. Despite my fears for what the future would bring, I was certain of one thing. I wanted to be with Taylor and I was determined to give our relationship my all.

Angela was both smug and excited for me when I told her that Taylor and I were officially together. She was happy that I'd finally gathered up the courage to carpe Taylor's diem. However, I received a different reaction when I told Emily about Taylor. Despite her many assurances that she was happy for me, she sure didn't sound that way. Did she hope I would save myself for Jacob? Didn't she already know that his imprinting had effectively killed any chance there might have been for us? Her reaction both annoyed and confused me. I hadn't been expecting a parade, but damn, some genuine optimism would've been nice.

Emily seemed to cheer up when she revealed that she and Sam were talking about having a baby. Neither Emily nor Sam had worked up the nerve to tell Leah yet. They were waiting for the right time. But, I could easily tell Emily that there would never be a right time for that kind of news. Even though, Leah was moving on and finally allowing herself to be happy with Zach, news like that would still sting.

In the week following my discussion with Taylor, I'd gotten around to telling all of my friends about my new relationship status. I was a little nervous when it came to telling the one person I'd intentionally left for last.

"Hello?"

For a moment, I was taken aback by the manly voice that sounded nothing like my dad's.

"Um, hello?" I answered hesitantly and felt my stomach flutter.

"Bella? It's me Seth."

"Oh, Seth," I laughed nervously, feeling a ridiculous amount of relief. "I didn't recognize your voice." For a second I thought… I gave my head a brisk shake.

"Yeah, same here. How's it going?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Things are good. How are you enjoying my room?" Charlie told me that Seth had gotten rid of all of my stuff and completely redecorated the place.

Seth barked out a short laugh. "Forget it, Bella. It's my room now." He went on to add in a lowered voice. "The room's been a lot nicer ever since I got rid of that stale vampire scent."

"Speaking of which, how are things on the vampire front?"

"We still get a stray every now and again, but nothing like when you were around. You really are a supernatural magnet, Bella," Seth teased.

Oh, you have no idea, Seth.

"So, how is everyone?" It wasn't what I wanted to ask, but it was close enough.

Seth fell silent before answering. "We're doing all right, but we miss you." He paused before going on in a serious tone. "It would be nice if you came for a visit, Bella."

Not knowing what to say to that, I froze, tongue being held captive by my mouth. During our phone calls, I didn't dare ask Leah about Jacob for fear that she would – and rightfully so – tell me to get a life and to stop being pathetic. I thought I'd made peace with the possibility that we might never speak again, but Seth words made me experience a familiar pang of sadness. Did he miss me? How was that even possible? Wasn't perfect imprint love supposed to fill all voids? Maybe he missed me in a kind of friend capacity. And that was if he missed me at all. After all, Seth said we miss you not Jacob misses you. But going back to Forks…?

Whatever I might have said was lost when Seth spoke up. "Oh, Charlie just walked in. I'll let you talk to him."

"Hi, Dad," I chirped and winced at my high pitched voice. I'd almost forgotten my real reason for calling.

"Hey, kiddo. Everything okay?"

"Off course. Why wouldn't it be?" I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. I was calling about Taylor. My boyfriend.

"I don't know. You sound a little strange, that's all."

"Well, nothing's wrong. I was just calling to tell you that I'm… seeing someone." Why was I so nervous?

Because telling Charlie about Taylor would eliminate any silly thoughts about our relationship being a fling. Telling my dad about us would make things… serious.

"What's his name?" Charlie asked after a measured pause.

"It's Taylor. My roommate's brother." When Charlie didn't comment, I continued anxiously, "You've seen his picture, right?"

"Hm… The green-eyed one."

"Yeah."

"Is it… serious?" Charlie questioned with mild discomfort in his tone.

Oh god. That was code for are you sleeping together?

Despite the warmth in my cheeks, I managed to confess, "Yeah. I think it is." Oh boy was it ever.

There was a profound silence before Charlie spoke up. "I want to meet him."

I really didn't need Charlie coming up to Hanover just so he could wave a shotgun in Taylor's face. Zach was still traumatized.

"Dad–"

"It's not up for discussion, Bella. I'd like to meet this young man of yours." Charlie spoke in a firm tone.

Crap! "When were you thinking of visiting?" I asked, silently wondering if they would let Charlie through airport security with a weapon.

"I was thinking I'd get to meet him when you come home for spring break." Charlie spoke carefully as if he was navigating through a field of landmines.

In past conversations, Charlie had never broached the topic of my coming home, although I'd always sensed he wanted to ask. I'd left Forks so Jacob would be free to move on with his imprint, and I had managed to find happiness with Taylor. I discovered that relationships didn't always have to be about choosing life or death. I'd learned how to take care of myself, and how to make a life without the supernatural… for the most part. Although there wasn't a logical reason for me to stay away from Forks, I still found myself hesitating. Things were going great between Taylor and me and I didn't want anything to mess that up. Don't ask me how I knew, but something told me that going back to Forks would dig up a whole lot of trouble.

I did miss my dad and I was a little curious to see what Seth had done with my room. But I didn't know how to explain that, once again, my issues were keeping me from being a good daughter. In the end, I didn't have to make up an excuse because thankfully Renee had already provided me with one.

"Sorry, Dad. But I already promised mom that I would spend spring break in Florida with her." I hoped the relief I felt didn't reveal itself in my voice. Renee was really looking forward to meeting Taylor.

"Oh, that's too bad." Charlie sounded genuinely disappointed. "Maybe you'll come this summer then?"

"Yeah, maybe," I murmured, my tone noncommittal.

Charlie put on his police hat and began to question me about Taylor. What was his last name? Where was Taylor from? What did his father do for a living? Did Taylor have a criminal record? Would I mind if he ran a background check? When he awkwardly moved onto the topic of drugstore contraception, I changed the topic, and stopped him dead in his tracks.

"So when are you going to propose to Sue?"

"Propose! I– We haven't–but it's–"

As I listened to Charlie stammer and trip over his words, I began to wonder if my fear of commitment was a family trait I'd inherited from my father.

It was nice being a regular girl with a normal – sort of – boyfriend. Of course, I was still afraid, and with good reason. I was happy, but trying not to be too happy at the same time. A part of me was expecting the happiness police to come busting in and ruin things.

Still, I had to constantly remind myself that I wasn't the same girl I used to be and Taylor wasn't Edward or Jacob. I didn't have to give up everything to be with him, and he didn't have a perfect soul mate he was destined for. Liz, Ryan, Zach and Taylor were my family. It was different from how the Cullens became family because of Edward or the way the pack became family because of Jacob. Our closeness had developed long before Taylor and I got together. I'd managed to carve out and create a place for myself during school pranks, penis discussions, wrestling matches, vacations and food mishaps.

Before I hung up from talking with Charlie, I promised (with much more enthusiasm) that I would come home for the summer and bring Taylor with me. If my father wanted to meet the man in my life then fine. I wouldn't let old fears stand in the way, not anymore. Finally, it was time to move on.

Little did I know, come summer, I wouldn't be in any condition to travel anywhere. And months later, Charlie would be forced to visit Hanover under unbelievably tragic circumstances.

The ceremony hadn't begun but already I could sense the magic in the air.

I stood outside the closed doors, waiting anxiously for the music to start. Unable to stop myself, I raised the bouquet to my face and inhaled the fragrant scent of Sahara roses blended with gardenias. I ran my hand over my satin dress, fussing with the skirt. But there was no need to do that, everything was perfect.

Today was our wedding day.

The wedding march began to play, the doors swung open and my grip tightened on my bouquet. It was my cue. I drew in a deep breath and began to walk down the aisle. Sunlight filtered through the stained glass of the church, bathing its interior with an almost magical glow. White roses hung from the edges of each pew, which were currently occupied by my guests. Friends and family, everyone I knew was here today.

My heart pounded away in my chest as I placed one foot in front of the other, following the rhythm of the music.

Being the object of everyone's attention was a little unsettling, but all my anxiety faded away when I saw him waiting for me at the altar. I smiled at him, feeling a surge of happiness flood my entire being. We'd been through hell and back to get to this moment. He was my destiny and the love of my life.

He gently took my hand in his and the priest began the ceremony.

Suddenly, the light in the church began to dim, and was dying fast as I turned look at the window behind me. My hands went to grab for him and felt air.

I turned around but no one was there. In fact, there was no one in the church. I was alone.

My heart sank, feelings of dread growing. I tried to speak but no sound would come out of my mouth.

The scene changed and I found myself standing in the forest with a giant hourglass looming before me. My once beautiful ivory dress was now covered in blood. Tears stung my eyes.

No! Today was supposed to be perfect.

If I could only get rid of the blood then today could still be perfect. Hysteria bubbled up inside me, and I began to frantically dab at my dress in a futile effort to remove the crimson stains.

I froze when a twig snapped behind me.

My heart surged, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I felt a stab of fear as the dense foliage rustled behind me.

A gust of warm breath blew against the back of my neck, and I sensed the presence of something standing behind me. Something potentially terrifying.

Time is running out.

The inhuman voice came from inside my head and my stomach clenched in horror.

My instincts screamed at me to run, to not turn around. But my body refused to obey either request. Unable to stop myself, my eyes were lured to the side, head craning to look at–

I jerked awake at an unexpected thud, and found myself staring up at the ceiling in the living room. I sat up scanning the room for the source of the noise, and discovered a book lying on the floor. It must have slipped from my lap when I fell asleep.

A mild tremor shook my hand as I touched my sweaty forehead.

What a nightmare.

The setting sun cast an eerie glow about the room, prompting me to turn on all the lights. Liz and Ryan were out picking up takeout for movie night, so I was alone in the apartment. Remnants of my nightmare were still with me when I stepped in to the shower.

I closed my eyes, letting the cool water calm my pounding heart. The dream left me with an uneasy feeling in my gut. I'd grown used to having the hourglass dream, but the wedding and the last part with the presence standing behind me was definitely new. Just thinking about it was enough to make me shudder. Then there was that whole wedding scene where I was marrying…

I frowned in confusion as I paused to recall my groom. I couldn't remember who I was marrying. It was probably just as well.

A bloodied wedding dress, a disappearing groom, and a dark, ominous shadow… If this was the universe's way of warning me off of marriage, then message received. I had absolutely zero interest in getting married.

The dream seemed so real though… Another shudder passed through me and I pushed it away, determined to turn my thoughts toward my plans for the night.

I proceeded down the hall to Taylor's apartment, my heartbeat accelerated as I neared his door. I was going to see my boyfriend. It was ridiculous, the flood of emotion I felt at that thought. Try as I might, I couldn't prevent a stupid grin from appearing on my face. Except for us sharing a bed every night, there really hadn't been much of a change in our relationship. Things were still the same and yet different… better. We'd always been affectionate and were already used to going off on our own together. We were still us, still Izzy and Taylor.

The door swung open, and I came upon Zach sitting on the couch watching TV. By his smirk, I could tell that he wasn't at all surprised by my appearance. "Back for more, I see."

Redness engulfed my cheeks as I shot back, "Oh shut up."

An irritating grin was my only reply as I continued on my way.

Standing in his doorway, I opened my mouth to greet him, only to let the words die in my throat. Taylor sat cross-legged on the floor with his back facing the door, meditating. I stood still, admiring the intricate lines of his tattoo that flowed along the lean muscles of his back. He was so deep in meditation that he'd failed to notice my appearance.

An evil grin lit up my face. A rare opportunity had presented itself, one I refused to pass up. How many chances would I get to sneak up on Taylor? This would be payback for all those time he startled the hell out of me.

Slowly, carefully, I began to tiptoe my way across the carpet, willing myself to be as quiet as possible. A part of me almost expected him to somehow sense me and turn around to ruin my plans. But my presence remained undetected as I crept closer and closer.

Standing mere inches away from him, I could smell the fresh scent of soap wafting off his body. I was close enough to observe his slick hair, still wet from the shower. And yet, he still didn't know I was there. I sank my teeth into my bottom lip to hold back my giggles. This was going to be so good.

Leaning forward slightly, I reached down to grab his shoulder, the classic boo! building in my throat.

Taylor started violently beneath my touch. Then out of nowhere, I was hit by an invisible force, and sent flying across the room like a ragdoll. Intense pain ripped through my body when I crashed into the wall. A multitude of agony tore through my head as I crumpled to the ground. The world around me faded, and I slipped into unconsciousness to the sound of Taylor screaming.

A/N: I started this chapter with the intention that it would be no more than 5000 words. And well... you can see I failed miserably. Damn chapter is over 8000. Sigh... maybe I'll get the next chapter. Seems like I'm incapable of writing a small chapter. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

Only four more college chapters left then Bella returns home.

Can't wait. Jacob Black is cussing up a storm in my head. He's definitely not happy with me.

Back to the story:

Leah is always a riot to write.

The marks on Bella's neck was... weird.

What do you think about the confrontation between Liz and Bella?

Will Ryan ever be able to eat his sandwich in peace?

Charlie wants to meet Taylor... we'll see.

What do you think Seth meant, telling Bella she should come home?

What was up with Emily's disappointing reaction to Bella's got a man news?

What was the deal with the freaky ass dream?

Bella was finally happy and now she's hurt.

Why was Taylor screaming?

A/N: Review and receive your teasers people!