Smaller updates start now!

KALYN

woah Jessica, glaring flaw right off the bat

it's not Jake, it's Rose's made up character

the one that people presumed was like UU, and then Hussie cosplayed as UU and that character

now they're showing that character in the shackles

I'm thinking it's like maybe the same character has these two personas, it's possible

not totally sure though, since I haven't read it fully yet, but that was the first impression I got from this picture

hell, what was the character's name...

Calmasis

Calmasis is in the shackles

you can tell because right before that fucking page is when Jake and Dirk are talking about Rose's book series

I can't think of anything that 2.890.1 could represent numerically.

it doesn't make sense as a date or anything

wonder if it's some conversion or someshit, some code we have to crack, or if it's just totally random.

with homestuck you never know, but given the symbolic context of this particular pesterlog, I'm inclined to believe the former.

I kind of love Dirk's and Jake's friendship compared to Dave's and John's

we've talked before about how Dave and John like to rip on each other a lot, even if they praise each other when they're not talking to each other

but Dirk and Jake are like... they tease each other, sure, like Dirk totally tells Jake straight up what movies are shit

KALYN

but there's still things like:

"GT: I can be dumb as a bag of penny candy sometimes.

TT: Sometimes.

TT: Other times you're on point, like a bag of the nickel shit."

KALYN

I dunno, it's just sweet to me

probably because Dirk's had to grow up much faster than Dave. And same with Jake and John actually, even if Jake still seems rather immature. But they still had those traumatizing experiences and are totally alone where they are, so I think they appreciate their friends more. And make an effort to show that in small ways.

KALYN

yay psychology?

I love dissecting characters, you have no idea

I also love Dirk/Jake, but hey. I play into the fanservice, and Huss definitely understands supply/demand.

Hm, Emily?

What is this something sweet you can do?

JESSICA

lol, right, yeah. that character thing. I saw green and a pistol and thought "JAKE! It must be Jake since, you know, it's dark green, which is Jake's color. Yeeeeeeah"

I agree with Dirk and Jake's relationship, and I particularly loved that candy bit.

…

MORGAN

First of all, I think Kalyn said this already, but my impression with that Calmasis character picture thing was like... are UU and uu the same person? Or is Calmasis completely separate from them, and like... actually have some sort of control over this character? Or is Calmasis completely metaphorical (because, after all, Rose's book was an allegory)

MORGAN

Also, in this picture, Cal ... just realized that nickname... and how it relates to Lil Cal, hopy shit, you guys, does this mean something?

JESSICA

D: Didn't even think that! (but then, I always forget that character even has a name .)

MORGAN

anyway, I was gonna say how he has gray skin, but like legit, and not like Hussie scribbles. Which is where I got this idea that that is UU/uu, and they're the same character

JESSICA

Yeah. Didn't we also say somewhere that UU and uu might be the same person?

MORGAN

also, I found the possibility of a connection to LE interesting...

maybe? probably

I just feel like this could potentially affirm it a bit more

JESSICA

yeah

EMILY

just took the most amazing shower

MORGAN

yesterday, i got up at 6:30 and showered, and then slept for another two hours before my class

it was the best. after shower naps are the best.

EMILY

hahaha

btdubs i totally had the UU and uu are the same person theory

and they went gamzee crazy

MORGAN

yeah... I'm thinking if we all came to that possibility independently, then maybe there's some merit to it

JESSICA

Ahaha, have any of you seen Dante's tumblr posts? particularly the ones containing Tavros?

Hey! Tailorbird used one of my asks as well "What are you going to do now? " A deep question, yes?

I don't know why I keep getting excited when they answer my questions, it's not like they have a ton. although it did take TheTailorbird a while to answer that one

EMILY

i thought of another thing we have to do

eat at council bluffs german resteraunt

MORGAN

oh hey about that whole UU/uu could be the same person and that person is Calmasis thing: One of the defining traits of Calmasis' character is that he/she is androgynous and it's never explicitly stated whether he/she is a boy or a girl. So, yeah, could be that dual persona thing.

MORGAN

(kalyn now btw)

EMILY

k

MORGAN

I'm gonna go back to when that "character" was introduced and see what's written about him/her

MORGAN

"It features the androgynous young apprentice, Calmasis, who throughout the series plays the roles of antihero and chief antagonist. S/he convinces fellow disciples to rebel against Zazzerpan's vaunted Complacency, and one by one hunts down each wizard. All twelve are killed but the Predicant Scholar himself, forcing a showdown."

So if this was an allegory for the Condesce, then it seems like Calmasis could be the Condesce here, who hunted down all the other trolls and killed them (ancestors-isn't this what Doc Scratch said the Condesce did in a way?)

If not, then perhaps Calmasis is totally UU/uu, who decide to hunt down...the players maybe? Since most of the trolls are already dead. But that "Predicant Scholar" is, my guess, Karkat, since Predicant means it has to do with Jesusy stuff.

OR alternatively, Calmasis is UU, the twelve killed are the rest of the trolls, and the Predicant Scholar is uu, and THEY have a faceoff!

There are many different ways this could go. I'mma see if the next paragraph has more insight.

MORGAN

"The poster depicts the notorious chess match between Calmasis and Zazzerpan. Zazzerpan had a reputation for being unbeatable. He had never lost a match, even to the gods. But his apprentice was able to beat him in the wizard's duel by first becoming checkmated, and through some unprecedented enchantment, continuing to play beyond the death of the king." This actually sounds more like the Skaia thing. The kings are dead (at least from Beta). Who could Zazzerpan be though? Lord English? Does this make Calmasis the Condesce? If we figure out who Zazzerpan is supposed to be, then I think it'll be clearer who Calmasis is supposed to represent.

MORGAN

Anyone have any insight?

While I switch to my own account?

KALYN

...no?

EMILY

READING

hmmm

so...what are the current theories?

JESSICA

Ok, so, Calmasis is /both/ the antihero and antagonist. uu=antihero, UU=antagonist

My initial thought was that Zazzerpan would be LE since he's the end all main baddy. Maybe the apprentice is the Condesce?

Fuck man, this is some deep shit!

Looking at it from the view point of Skaia and that game, could the apprentice still be the condesce? She usurped Derse, so maybe she appeared to have been in checkmate but then via shenanigans was able to beat Lord English, at least for a time. Condesce did work for him, and they are on bad terms now. So, I think Zazzerpan is most likely LE, Calmasis is uu and UU.

JESSICA

In Alpha the Derse King and Queen are dead, don't forget. So, yeah, that's my theory for now.

KALYN

Ok, I'll accept it for now. I just wanted some input

see where we're going with this

I'm sure it's prophetic though, there's no way it's not, and it'll probably be glaringly obvious later if anyone rereads that page

JESSICA

FAKE OUT! Here's some more stuff!

Now, if "predicant" was just "Jesusy" I would say that it is more likely Nepeta, since she was the scholar. However, "predicant" means a preacher, so, definitely Kar or his ancestor.

It is also possible that the Predican Scholar and Calmasis are the same person, right? As in split personality disorder. UU would be the one hunting down the other trolls (the little bit of what we presume to be her was wearing basically Calmasis' clothing, right? Also, what horns did Hussie wear when he was cosplaying? Were they the super wavy ones?) The shackles also suggest that there is more than one force influencing Calmasis with UU's and uu's shackles attached to his/her ankles.

KALYN

lol

oo that's interesting

JESSICA

i gotta go now though, so any issues or whatever you have, i will get to later (and that's always promising )

KALYN

yeah I did speculate that the two facing off could be UU/uu, but I didn't really bring in the idea that they're both Calmasis into that

so that would be really interesting

aight later then

I'm good for now

KALYN

btw, for pages and comparison, this is the page with Calmasis and the description: /?s=6&p=006375

Here's Hussie as Calmasis/UU: /?s=6&p=006693

And another with the gun, for good measure: /?s=6&p=006701

and here's the picture from today's update for comparison: /?s=6&p=006761MS Paint Adventures

JESSICA

Oh yeah, all of the clues point to Calmasis being at least UU. The false cadeuces, the horns on Hussie's cosplay (which are the same horns that UU had when she was chatting at the beginning of this Act), the color of the clothes, and the two shackles (which points to uu being in on it too. And by "in on it too" I mean "also being Calmasis )

JESSICA

The fake cadeuces and her lying also make me think that UU would be the antagonistic version. She doesn't strike me as antihero material.

(for reference, Batman is an antihero)

EMILY

what about bman?

EMILY

my tooth hurtz

JESSICA

Bman is also an antihero. Actually, he is more of an antihero than the normal batman

EMILY

yay!

can't wait until i get this fucking root canal so my tooth can stop hurting

…

EMILY

NEW homestuck

quite hilarious

"Who the fuck ever heard of an alien juggalo? To me this is about as stupid as the crackpot theories get."

JESSICA

wah! Gonna read nao

i wonder what Hussie thinks of Guy Fieri

EMILY

haha

i thought that part was funny

but the next one is funnier

…

JESSICA

I LOVE the George Washington bit, lol

…

KALYN

man

EMILY

yeah

i appreciated that though

KALYN

it's one thing to make out with Dante Basco's corpse, but to make Guy Fieri out to be the third anti christ, that could be crossing some lines there Hussie.

EMILY

the fail that is

ah

hahaha

next one is better

JESSICA

Yeah...I like Guy Fieri...He's a cool dude...

KALYN

I mean... what if Guy Fieri suddenly decides to pick up Homestuck? What's gonna happen then?

EMILY

can one of you do me a favor and text my phone saying "where's my droid?"

JESSICA

done

EMILY

tanks

JESSICA

And, yeah, Kalyn, you're right. I don't think this will blow over quite the same way.

EMILY

it would be under my shit

good thing i have this stupid app

JESSICA

Especially if people send him or his people that picture of him like they did with Dante

…

EMILY

sorry i had to leave there

macy shoved her tongue in my mouth

had to go brush my teeth

and...cry

JESSICA

o.O

EMILY

yea...

JESSICA

:(

EMILY

yea...

mouth rape...

JESSICA

bluh

EMILY

and unfortunately my rape whistle is on my dresser...

JESSICA

...

EMILY

(i really do have one)

HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW HAVE I NEVER TOLD YOU GUYS THIS

so

in my theatre class we had to perform scenes written by people in the class, i was the director for one

and in it pretty much guy friend, chick friend, guy friends comes on to chick friend, chick shoots him down

JESSICA

no, i'm pretty sure i knew you had one, it just seems like an entirely inappropriate reason to use it

uuuuuuuuuuh

EMILY

so, we preformed the whole scene, then prof makes it forum, where you start the scene and people can shout stop and fill in for a character and try to change the scene

couple people go, then professor says he's gonna fill in

as the chick

already freaking hilarious, he's a almost 70 yr old guy

does the thing, dude has to put his arm around him and pretend to try and kiss him

JESSICA

bahahahahahahaha

KALYN

lemme guess: no one stopped the scene?

EMILY

tons of funny shit is said including by the prof "look, i know i'm an attractive young woman, but this isn't going to work out"

fuckin hilarious

EMILY

i was almost crying i was laughing so hard

JESSICA

lol

EMILY

so funny

JESSICA

they were adding to it, if you remember

EMILY

just...just great

KALYN

?

JESSICA

beautiful!

KALYN

that's wonderful

EMILY

yes

sorry

back to what ya'll were doing

…

KALYN

ok I'm really tired, I have a lot to do tomorrow, I'm going to bed

love ya'll

EMILY

k

i still appreciate sweet tooth just...so much

JESSICA

sleep well, hope you figure things out

love you!

EMILY

LURG

SHIT

FUCK

JESSICA

that's quite the reaction

EMILY

yes

JESSICA

what were you reacting to?

EMILY

the lurg and missing her

JESSICA

oh, k...i think

EMILY

yeah

...

KALYN

ok so Homestuck oh my god Dave is such a bamf

and... that's all there really is to say on the matter

KALYN

"TT: The few witnesses would report seeing only a man with a sword on a shitty skateboard, gently rising into the night sky.

TT: No one ever saw him again."

Wait, so he just disappeared? Where's the proof that the Condesce killed him then? I mean, surely he's not alive at this point, but I wonder...

KALYN

like Jane at least was in the game before this point for sure, so it kinda makes me wonder if Dave could have made it into the medium somehow.

Damn I am fucking loving these updates though

so

epic

JESSICA

He could have gotten in somehow, but he would either have to enter with Jake or the same way Jake did in the beta universe (which, who the hell knows how he did that?) or, now that I think about it, he could have gotten in the same way the Condesce did. Unless LE has some way to transport people in. Either way, Dave has two choices: Enter with Jake or enter the way Jake did in the Beta universe.