I'm sorry for my absence! I went on vacation, and although I had plenty of time to write, I couldn't find a good enough connection to post! I'm sorry, but trust me, I'm making it up to you.

I'VE SWITCHED TO 3RD PERSON POV. Sorry, but I'm better at writing 3rd than 1st

Also, Leo said he ran away from six foster homes, but I included a few extras that he was taken out of, so he went to eleven foster homes and was taken out of five for one reason or another.

IMPORTANT: THIS STORY IS GOING TO HAVE SOME GRAPHIC PARTS TO IT. I WILL TRY TO WARN YOU, AND I'M GOING TO SAY THAT THE FIRST FLASHBACK IN THIS CHAPTER IS VERY GRAPHIC IN TERMS OF MENTAL ABUSE AND BULLYING. READ THE FIRST AND THIRD FLASHBACK AT YOUR OWN RISK

WARNINGS: VERBAL ABUSE, MENTIONS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE AND VERY VAGUE IMPLIED SEXUAL ABUSE, LANGUAGE, BULLYING

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful

The day I chose not to eat

What I do know is how I've changed my life forever

I know I should know better

-"Courage" by Superchick

*2008- Leo's age: 11*

"For Pete's sake, you fat pig! Stop eating, or you won't be able to please your master when you go whoring!"

Leo gulped and placed the bread back on his plate, pushing the full plate away, despite his growling stomach.

His seven foster siblings and his foster father laughed, cruelly, and Leo wanted so badly to stand and run to his 'room', but he had to sit here until everyone was done.

This was his fourth foster home. He had seven siblings, each one worse than the last. The mother was only there on the weekends, and the father hated Leo more than anything on the planet.

Leo lived in the garage with nothing except a ratty old blanket, and all of his things, including the rest of his clothes, had been confiscated and hidden. He was treated like a slave, pushed around, and was the official punching bag, not to mention the food. They never let him eat; he'd been there for ten days, and they didn't let him eat until yesterday. And now, today...

"Slut!" Malcom, the eldest, shouted in his ear. "Freak!"

"Fat ass," Katherine agreed.

"Stop it!" Leo cried, cupping his hands over his ears. "Please!"

"Pathetic," Malcom laughed.

"Ugly!" Luna cheered, giggling and clapping her hands. She was only one year old, so she must've been copying Katherine.

"Stupid," the father taunted.

"NO, STOP!" Leo screamed.

Malcom smirked. "You want to eat so badly, eat, fatty!" He laughed and tried to force feed Leo a piece of bread.

"No!" Leo cried, actually starting to feel hot tears drip down his face.

Leo spat it out and said, "I-I don't even want to eat anymore."

The father sneered. "That's my good boy."

He went to brush his hand through Leo's hair, mockingly, but Leo raced to the garage, shutting the door behind him.

That was the first day he pushed food away, deliberately, and it wasn't the last.

The father offered him food for several days after, but Leo refused to eat. He'd rather starve to death than have to sit at that table again with insults being shouted in both ears.

*2009- Leo's age: 12*

He was 'sick' (a nondescriptive word to describe his mental illness and the collection of symptoms). He didn't have an eating disorder (yet), but after being abused by his foster father, he was more traumatized than ever. PTSD resulted in a lack of appetite, among other symptoms.

Therefore, Leo couldn't eat. He wanted to, but he couldn't. Anything he forced down his throat, he ejected moments later.

"Leo, you need to eat," the nurse said with pitying eyes.

Leo shook his head, silent.

"Leo, please. You're sick enough. You need to put something in your body, or you'll get even worse."

Leo shook his head again.

"Leo, if you don't eat, I'm afraid we'll have to put you on the feeding tube," she mumbled, reluctantly.

Leo picked up his sandwich and forced it into his mouth, choking down a single bite. He glared at the woman, as if to say 'happy?'

She smiled and nodded before going to check on other patients.

You don't deserve food, Leo thought.

Leo stood and walked over to the bathroom, where he pulled apart the sandwich and dropped it into the toilet water. Only two bites were left on the tray to make it more convincing for the nurse, and he flushed the toilet.

Leo placed the tray on the bed side table and tried to sleep, praying for a nightmare free slumber.

He didn't get his wish.

*2010- Leo's age: 13*

"Hey, Valdez! Where's your mom?"

"Oh, that's right! He doesn't have one!"

The group of boys and girls laughed and pointed as Leo walked past them. It was parent night, and their parents were too busy speaking with one another to notice their kids.

Leo's foster mother was there, but she was also going to a meeting regarding her biological children, Kristen and Diana. He would be next.

Suddenly, a hand pinched at Leo's waist, gathering the small amount of fat there was between their fingers.

"Hey! What the hell?" Leo squawked.

"Geesh, how many calories did you eat today?" Jordan sneered. "10, 000? 20,000?"

"Shut up," Leo growled. He actually hadn't eaten anything.

"That's a yes. I mean, look at this, guys!" He shouted over his shoulder before pinching Leo's cheek. "Damn, chipmunk."

"Stop it," Leo demanded.

Then, there were hands pinching his skin, gathering the small amount of fat on Leo's bones, calling him names, laughing.

"Stop!" He cried.

Voices rang in his ears. The bullies, the foster siblings from his fourth foster home, his foster parents, Aunt Rosa's. Everyone who had ever insulted him.

Leo ran to the bathroom, shoving parents and students out of his way, until he skidded in front of the sink.

He stared at his face in the mirror, his red eyes, his runny nose, his chipmunk cheeks.

When he woke up this morning, he didn't see himself as fat. Now, though...

Tell someone something so many times, and they may start to believe it...

*2011- Leo's age: 14*

Leo's foster parents were worried about him, he was losing too much weight, they said, which he didn't believe for a single second.

They hospitalized him at Blue Crown, an eating disorder center. Apparently, he had anorexia, which Leo didn't understand. He ate because he didn't deserve it; he wanted to be thinner, but that wasn't the main reason why he was doing this.

After all, eating disorders were for teenage girls wanting to be thinner, right?

No. Leo learned here that that was far from the truth. He met mostly teenage girls, but there was a handful of boys, and although this hospital was for children, some of them had moms or grandmothers with eating disorders. It could be passed down in families, just like alcoholism or depression.

Leo wondered if one of his parents had an eating disorder when they were his age, or maybe even his grandparents.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

Leo learned a lot of things in that hospital, but it didn't make him want to get better. He ate what people put in front of him but then, he purged out the window in his room, and his roommates didn't stop him or even mention it.

Leo got friends to sneak in pounds and paperweights that he stuck in his belt and taped to his stomach. He also chugged three water bottles and wore three layers of clothes and jewelry under his clothes to make him heavier.

He was out of the hospital in three months, and no one ever knew. Leo continued purging until he moved foster homes, and he went back to starving. Whenever someone got suspicious, Leo would eat and purge.

It was a perfect system in his mind.

Leo blearily blinks his eyes open, and he sees Piper leaning over him. The back of her hand is pressed against his forehead.

"Piper," he mutters. "What are you doing?"

"You passed out," she says. "Leo, have you been eating?"

"Of course I have," Leo mumbles, still incredibly drowsy. "Why?"

"You're just really thin," Piper says, and he feels her hands pressing against his stomach, where he knows his ribs are showing through his paper thin skin.

"Yeah," Leo says. "I've been sick, and being on the run all the time, I can't put on weight. It just comes right back off."

Piper sits back, her face contemplating. "Alright... eat," she says without a trace of Charmspeak in her voice.

She places a tray of tomato soup (90 calories) and a piece of bread (65 calories) on his lap. There's a bottle of water, as well.

Leo shrugs, easily pretending that the sight of food doesn't cause a lump to form in his throat as anxiety courses through his veins.

Leo eats every last bite of it and hands the tray to Piper, his eyes daring her to challenge him.

"Now, if you're done analyzing my eating habits, may I get back to work?" Leo asks.

Piper sighs. "I'll cut you loose, but promise me you'll take it easy for the next few days."

Leo nods. "I promise, Pipes."

She smiles. "Alright. Go ahead, Repair Boy."

"Whoo!" Leo throws off the sheets and stands, ignoring the slight dizziness. At least it was better than it had been.

"Take it easy!" Piper shouts as he races from the room.

"Yeah, Pipes!" Leo yells back.

"I'm serious!"

"Yada, yada, yada!"

"Oh, gods," Piper mumbles, and Leo knew the fainting incident was forgotten.

Leo sprints towards his room and skids to a stop when he sees Frank waiting for him.

"Frank, what's up?" He asks.

"I just wanted to ask how you are," Frank says.

Leo shrugs. "I'm fine."

But he isn't. His stomach churns as the food and the calories and the fat settles, and if he doesn't get it up soon, he won't be able to do so.

"Oh. Erm, okay," Frank states.

"Well... I have work to do. Just some standard stuff, like making sure we don't crash into an ice berg," Leo assures him.

Frank frowns. "Where would we crash into an ice berg?"

"You never know."

"True that," Frank admitts. "Take it easy, though," he states before walking back down the hall.

Leo bursts into his cabin, turns on his drill, and the tomato soup and bread come up just like it went down into the plastic bag Leo pulls from his tool belt.

Just like magic.

And now, as long as he eats in front of the crew, they won't know.

They can't know.

More chapters to come very soon!