Chapter 2 - Memories Awakened
Eternity's Struggle

Eternity's Struggle, the sequel to A Glimpse of Eternity, is a complication of short stories, letters and life-snapshots that are sprinkled throughout the events of Mass Effect 2 following both Commander Kiara Shepard and Kaidan Alenko. While they're in chronological order, its not the complete storyline of the whole of Shepard's missions as she prepares, then faces, the Collectors. There will be SPOILERS. Please read the Eternity Series - Disclaimer for more general information.

Disclaimer: I own only the parts of the individual personality of Commander Kiara Shepard I have developed inspired by the Commander Shepard in the gameplay. I do not own, nor hold any rights, to any of the characters, dialogue, storylines or any part in or of the "Mass Effect" game series. I want to thank Drew Karpyshyn and his staff of amazing writers, animators and voice actors. These are for fan enjoyment only and no money had been made on these stories.

Darkness, deep and endless, surrounded him.

He could feel a floor beneath his feet but around him, the blackness kept him locked in its grasp.

Where was he? What was he doing in this place?

A sound cut through the darkness, its tones trailing in as if from far away. His ears strained to hear it. Something in the sound stirring his emotions inside him. What was that sound? Why did it seem so familiar?

Slowly the sound grew closer. It was laughter, sweet and musical. It warmed him and pulled at him as it grew louder, seeming to get closer and closer to him. He reached out into the darkness for the bearer of that laugh. It was beyond familiar. It was sound his heart knew too well.

It was her laugh.

As if rendered by his thoughts of her, she walked out of the shadows as if she'd been a part of them. Eyes the color of emeralds, brilliant and luminous, were framed in strong yet delicate features and dark full eyelashes. Raven black hair cascaded down soft tanned skin that encased a well-toned form with feminine curves. Well-fitted Alliance fatigues clung to her waist while a white t-shirt hugged her curves, drawn tight over her a full bosom. He knew every inch of the body intimately. It was a woman's body but also a warrior's.

His warrior's.

His heart soared at the sight of her and the warm, tender smile that played on her full lips naturally shaded in a pink so dark it nearly shone red. He knew those lips - their taste and feel to the way they could form the sweetest pillow talk or inspire courage in the face of defeat. A tightness descended in his chest at the bittersweet sight of her, knowing now that this was a dream. It could only ever be a dream.

She was dead.

As if sensing his thoughts, she walked closer to him, her bare feet making no sound on the surface they stood on. Her eyes searched his with a softness to them, holding nothing but love in their depths. He let out a breath of desperate relief as she set her hand against his cheek. He expected it cool to the touch but it was warm, the sensation seeping into him and balming his soul. He leaned into the hand on his cheek, bringing his own to rest over it.

She stepped forward closer, this mirage of memories. He wanted to believe she was real. Her touch felt real. Her warmth seeped into him as if she were really standing there. Even the scent of lilacs wafted around them, ensnaring his senses and pulling him into everything that was the woman before him. How could he feel her so acutely if she were not?

He reached forward, his hand connecting with her waist as he rested his hand there. She felt as real and as solid as she ever had before. "I've missed you," he said, his words soft but heavy with the ache of her loss. When she'd stepped from the shadows, his heart had hurt anew but the longer he stood there with her before him, lost in the sensations and memories she brought him, the pain seemed to lessen.

She said nothing but her smile brightened at his words, the loving softness within her eyes unwavering as she looked at him. Her thumb grazed his cheek as she slowly began to lean towards him, her lips parting slightly as she reached out for his kiss. Unable to stop himself, he leaned forward to meet her, her breath playing over his lips as they drew closer.

Suddenly, she stilled as her eyes went wide in terror. A breath later, she was jerked violently from his embrace and dragged back into the darkness. He reached for her, running after her as he cried out her name.

Only it wasn't his voice that left his lips. It was Joker's voice, broken and desperate, screaming over the comm as the worst moment of his life replayed before his eyes.

"Shepard!"

Kaidan jerked awake, breathing hard, a sheen of sweat clinging to his bare chest. His brain struggled to grasp his surroundings, trying to make sense of what way was up and which was down. Joker's scream echoed in his head as his vision cleared from being in such a deep sleep, taking in the surroundings of his quarters.

It'd just been a dream.

He sighed as he bowed his head, bringing a hand up to run over his face. It'd been almost a year since he'd dreamt of her so vividly. Heartache renewed its hold over him at the loss of her. When she had died, so had most of him. For two years he struggled to continue moving forward. He no longer felt like the shell he used to feel but he was still different from the man he once was. He was harder now, more serious and determined to a level that earned him a number of nicknames amongst those he served with.

It was only since he'd began working with his students that Councilor Anderson had put him in charge of had the hollowness he'd felt after her death began to fade. A trace of the numbness was still there, deep in his heart, and he suspected it always would be. It was the part of his heart, of his soul, that held his love for Kiara Shepard and it was the part that had died along with her.

Reaching up, he rubbed his neck and let out a deep sigh. Why, all of a sudden, did she have to reappear? He was trying to move on and push past her death. He had thought he finally had but then the dream had came.

He scoffed. Dream? More like a nightmare.

Kaidan tossed off the sheets and stood up. He knew more sleep was lost to him and after that nightmare, he was fine not going back to bed. He padded over to his desk and sat down in front of his console, his sweatpants bagging around his legs yet clinging low on his hips. He opened his messages and saw one from Anderson.

Subject: **ENCRYPTED TRANSMISSION**
From: Admiral David Anderson

To: Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko

Commander Alenko,

There's been another attack on one of our colonies out in the Terminus system. We received troubling intel that gives us reason to suspect the terrorist organization, Cerberus, is somehow involved.

Something's not right about all of this. Between the intel and the rumors that Commander Shepard was spotted on the Omega station in the Sahrabarik system of the Omega Nebula cluster, I want to get to the bottom of this. I don't think Shepard is still alive. We both know she died when the Normandy was destroyed but her body was never recovered. We suspect Cerberus may have had something to do with that and it may well be a part of these reports we've been hearing. They're involved in this somehow and if they're behind the attacks on the colonies, we need to know.

The intel suggests that Horizon might be the next colony to be attacked. I've spoken with Alliance Command and we'd like you to go there and investigate the matter covertly. Officially, we'll be sending you to help get the GARDIAN laser turrets online and functioning. Colonists in the Terminus system don't care for the Alliance so you'll have your work cut out for you.

Get to the bottom of what's going on and do whatever you can to protect Horizon. If Cerberus is involved, we need to know.

Good luck, Commander.

Signed,
Admiral David Anderson

Kaidan stared at the message, an anger rising up in him quickly. After everything he'd seen Cerberus do, he shouldn't have been surprised at the lengths they would go to further their agendas. What the hell were they trying to do that they needed to bring up and use the memory of Shepard to achieve?

For a brief moment, his mind flickered to the possibility that Shepard might actually be alive but he shook that thought from his head quickly. No, she'd died. If she'd been alive, she'd have come back. Even if she could've walked away from him, he knew she couldn't have walked away from the Alliance. The Alliance was her life.

No, Commander Shepard died two years ago.

And now Cerberus had the gall to dredge up her memory and pervert it to their uses. It enraged him as he felt his skin prickling with his biotic energy. When he realized it was glowing and swirling around his hands, he forced himself to take a deep breath. He tried to calm the anger down. He wouldn't lose control. He couldn't.

The tingling subsided with the glowing but his anger remained. He knew it wasn't going anywhere, settling instead deep in his gut where it would lay in wait and smolder, readying itself for the chance to unleash on Cerberus. Her death was still too raw, too painful, especially after the nightmare he'd just had, and he vowed he would get to the bottom of whatever was going on. She deserved to rest in peace.

Kaidan let out a heavy sigh as rubbed his temple, the telltale ache preceding his migraines building in the background. Great, he thought, just what I need right now.

Standing up, he grabbed the cocktail of medicine the doc at HQ prescribed for him, hoping it would head off the migraine before it set in. They'd gotten significantly less over the last two years but when they did come, they were worse than ever.

Once the meds were taken, he wandered back over to his bed and sat on the edge as the pain in his head continued to escalate. The last thing he remembered before the haze of pain completely encompassed him was his head hitting the pillow.