She's shaken, more than she'd like to admit. She presses her fingers to her temples, trying to stifle the headache she can feel coming on.
I never thought Corrin would do something this reckless... Not that I have any right to scold her about it,she thinks, pressing a palm to her stomach. She's beginning to show, just the slightest bit, though her winter attire manages to hide it better than her usual dresses.
"Azura? You okay?"
She's jilted back to her surroundings at the sound of Elise's voice. The youngest princess is sitting on the windowsill of her room, an open book in her hands, but her almost amethyst brown eyes are staring right at Azura, concerned.
"I'm fine," Azura lies, feigning a smile. "Just tired."
"You should rest," Leo says immediately. He's been working silently for the past hour at Elise's tea table, poring over a series of complicated magical tomes.
"All I've been doing is resting," she points out; even now she's seated in Elise's most plush chair, drinking a cup of coffee. "It's far too early to go to bed." The sun is still filtering brightly through the window, despite the fact that it's been setting earlier and earlier each day.
Leo huffs.
"Xander and Kaze will worry if you push yourself too hard," he says awkwardly. Elise giggles.
"What, and you're not worried, Leo?" she asks, a mischievous grin on her face.
"O-Of course I am," he says hastily, but Azura can see the blush he's trying to hide and she smiles.
"Thank you for your concern," she says warmly. "But I really am alright. I'll head back to my room when Kaze's shift is finished."
Leo nods, avoiding his sisters' gazes, while Elise gets up and comes to sit at Azura's feet.
"Is it scary?" she asks, looking up at her older sister with burning curiosity.
"Being married?" Azura asks in return, unsure what Elise wants to know.
"No, silly! Being pregnant with my niece!"
Azura bursts into laughter.
"You don't know it will be a girl," she chuckles, fondly putting a hand to her swelling belly. "It could be your nephew."
Elise frowns petulantly.
"But I want a niece," she complains. Leo makes a frustrated sound.
"The world doesn't revolve around your whims, Elise," he says firmly. "Besides, you already learned all about this stuff, you know a child's gender can't be chosen."
"Doesn't mean I can't hope," Elise clicks her tongue. "Well?" she asks, turning her attention back to Azura.
"Well what?"
"Is it scary?"
Azura ponders the question for a moment.
"Mm, sometimes..." she says quietly. But it isn't her own well being she's thinking about. It's Corrin's.
For some reason, her throat feels dry.
She was breathtaking, her cheeks flushed with effort, her dark hair clinging to her shoulders, her skin soft and white in comparison. Laslow couldn't help recalling the stories his mother had told him growing up, the ones about unearthly creatures bewitching humans with their beauty and stealing them away. He was certain that if Corrin were to steal him away, he wouldn't put up an ounce of resistance.
"You're beautiful, princess," he muttered, pressing his lips to the nape of her neck. She shivered under his touch, turning to hide her blushing face in his shoulder.
"Stop saying that," she said quietly, her body pressed against his. It was an oddly innocent gesture, and it made him want to hold her close and never let go.
"It's the truth," he said as he placed his hands around her waist, his fingers gently rubbing circles against her hipbones.
"It isn't," she insisted, looking up at him crossly. He kissed her.
"It is to me," he replied once they broke apart. Her face was red, but her eyes were soft and gentle. This had been different from the last time; there had been tenderness and consideration. She'd remained, for the most part, in her human form, though there had been a brief moment near the end when her claws flashed against the sheets. Laslow had tried to treasure her, tried to make her feel as loved and safe as possible, and while she was at a loss for how to do the same for him, she'd tried. She really had, and that meant the world to him.
She shifted in his arms, pressing her cheek against his chest.
"Laslow... are you afraid?" she asked, her voice echoing slightly in her room. He hesitated for a moment, his nose buried in her sweet-smelling hair.
"Yes," he admitted.
"Because of the child...?"
"That too... but it isn't the only thing," he said, closing his eyes. "I... I know what it's like to lose everything; I'm terrified of having to relive that pain... that loneliness. And, honestly? I never wanted to have a child... at least, not until now. It's... not exactly a pleasant topic for me."
He could hear the curiosity in her silence, but she was too polite to ask. He gave a soft laugh.
"You want to know, princess?"
"...If you don't mind sharing."
"Normally, I would. But... anything for you," he said, pressing another kiss to the top of her head. "You know, don't you? That I'm not Nohrian by birth?"
"Yes, you came from another country, far away."
"I did. With Selena and Odin. All three of us were born and raised in that country, though it no longer exists."
She gave a small start. "What happened to it?" she asked.
"It was destroyed in a terrible war," he said, closing his eyes and swallowing down the painful memories. "My parents... all of our parents... they died to protect us and our country. Us kids were left on our own, and we had to learn to survive. It was... difficult. I vowed a long time ago to never bring children into a world like that, a world torn by war. I couldn't understand why our parents didn't feel that way."
Corrin was silent for a moment.
"Laslow... You only asked me what I wanted..." she said, looking up at him with concern. "But you didn't tell me what you want..."
He smiled sadly at her, running his fingers down her spine.
"I want it," he said. "I didn't know what to feel at first, but..." His thumb caressed her cheek gently. "I'm happy, Corrin. Really. I said I couldn't understand my parents' decision to give birth to me, but now I think I do. Even if we're at war... we shouldn't stop living. It's what makes us human."
She looked away.
"I'm only part human," she said resentfully. "And... it's possible the child will be... be like me."
"So?" he asked pointedly, pulling her close. "I don't care. I love you, princess, and I love the dragon in you as much as I love the wonderful girl lying in my arms right now. Besides, no one loves life as much as you do, human or not," he said, his hands clasped around her waist. "You love fiercely, full of fire: gentle and warm one moment and burning the next. It's... captivating."
"...You're far too flowery, Laslow."
"Perhaps..." he chuckled. "But does it really matter? I want to be here, and I want to start a family with you. Didn't you ask me to stay?"
"Mm..." Her arms tightened around his torso. "I know it's wrong... but I want you here."
He drunk in her words, his heart aching with bittersweet intensity.
"I'll stay for as long as you want me," he swore. "No matter what."
He felt her fingers dig into his back slightly.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "You deserve better than this... I'm so sorry..."
He sighed, stroking her hair. "Don't be," he said softly. "I chose this. I want this. I'll protect you both, I promise."
She made an odd noise, something between a purr and a contented hum, and he knew her dragon's instincts had been satisfied, even if her human heart was still conflicted.
Kaze returned to the mess hall in the evening, relieved of his shift. He meant to grab a plate and take his meal in his room with Azura, but he spotted Mozu nearby, her cheek pressed against her fist and her other hand tapping irritably on the table.
"Mozu, is something the matter?" he asked, sitting opposite her. She slid her eyes toward him and made a disgusted expression.
"Ugh, great. Just. Great," she muttered. "Do ya mind?!"
"Mind what?"
She sighed, obviously frustrated. "When a gal's havin' a bad day, the least ya could do is let her be," she said tiredly.
"You're my partner," he said simply. "At the very least, we should look out for each other."
"Hmph."
"Is it about Azura?" he asked, concerned.
"No, thank the gods," Mozu sighed. "Though it's not entirely unrelated..." she added under her breath.
"What?"
"Nothin'. Don't mind me."
"I know you don't like me much, Mozu, but..."
"It's not that I don't like ya," she said, looking surprised. "You're a good sort, and a great fighter. I just wish the men in this army would keep it in their pants," she added under her breath.
"...Men? Plural?"
"Shit," she swore, avoiding his gaze. "Er, don't mind me none. I'm just thinkin' 'bout... a friend."
"I see."
He decided not to push her further. Clearly it was a personal matter, if not for her, then for someone she knew.
"Perhaps you should take the rest of the evening off, Mozu," he smiled. "I'll take over for you tonight."
"What, seriously?"
"Yes, I'll tend to Azura's needs, so you go ahead and rest."
"But I gotta draw milady's bath and prepare her underclothes and-"
"Not a problem," he chuckled. "I'm her husband, it's not improper for me to do those things for her."
"Oh, right," she said thoughtfully. "Well, if you're sure..."
"I am, now off with you."
"Don't order me 'round," she muttered, but she still got up from her seat and left the mess hall.
Corrin took a deep breath, steeling herself for the storm that she knew was about to break. Laslow took her hand, squeezing her fingers gently.
"If you want, I can speak to Lord Xander alone," he offered, but she shook her head.
"I think he'd probably have you imprisoned if you go without me," she said, rubbing her temple.
"Our dungeons are actually fairly nice," he suggested, making her laugh a little.
"No, I'll come," she said.
They both stared at the door to Xander's room apprehensively for a good minute before she gathered the courage to knock. Peri opened the door.
"Oh, hey Laslow- oh, Lady Corrin! Hi!" she said brightly. "You here to see Lord Xander?" she asked before either of them replied.
Corrin nodded. "Is my brother in just now?"
"Sure is," Peri grinned. "Want me to get him?"
"I can do it," Laslow said smoothly, and Peri shrugged, letting him in. "I'll be right back," he said, turning back to glance at Corrin briefly. The door shut behind him and Corrin was left alone in the hall, her heart beating loudly in her ears.
Gods, this is almost as bad as it was to ask permission for Azura to marry, she thought nervously. But those had been different circumstances; as afraid as she had been for Azura's life, her sister wasn't commanding the army like she was.
She fidgeted with her hands, lost in thought.
I know I said I wanted this... but am I really going to be able to get away with it? I'm the commander, I'm under direct orders from Fath- from King Garon to lead this invasion... No matter what Azura and I plan to do about overthrowing him, the fact is that I probably won't be able to lead the army at all for at least the next year...
And politics aside... am I really going to be able to raise a child?
She was interrupted by the door opening again.
"Lord Xander will see you," Peri said, slightly less cheerfully than before. She let Corrin in and gestured toward Xander's parlor. To Corrin's surprise, Peri didn't lead her in. Instead she left the rooms altogether, shutting the door behind her with a bit more force than necessary. Corrin stared for a second before remembering she was expected.
"Corrin, good evening," Xander smiled. He was seated in a chair by the fire, a book resting on the armrest. Laslow was standing next to him, alert, but when Corrin came in he moved toward her. She gave him a small, nervous smile but shook her head. He faltered, unsure whether he should go to her side or remain at his liege's.
"Good evening, Xander," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "I... uh... there's... something... I need to speak to you about."
Her brother raised an eyebrow, concerned.
"I see. Have a seat, little princess," he said, gesturing at the ottoman nearby. "Laslow has told me that this talk concerns him as well, is that right?"
"Y-yes, brother."
Laslow inclined his head slightly. "Milord, I would prefer to sit by milady's side, if it please you."
"That's forward, even for you," Xander said sharply. "I'd rather you didn't flirt with my sisters in my presence, Laslow."
"Actually, Xander," Corrin said, swallowing the knot in her throat. "I... don't mind... it might even be... for the best..."
Laslow looked like he wanted nothing better than to take her in his arms and spin her around, but he somehow managed to regain his composure a second later, striding over to stand at her side.
Xander frowned at her, glancing from Corrin to Laslow.
"Alright, what's going on here?" he asked sternly. "I don't want to get the wrong idea, but-"
"It's not the wrong idea," Corrin said in a rush, clasping her hands tightly in her lap. "I'm... expecting a child."
Corrin had expected Xander to get angry, to shout or threaten Laslow. Instead, he groaned, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose.
"Oh for the love of the gods, of all my sisters, I never expected you and Azura, of all people, to be this reckless."
Corrin and Laslow shared a confused look.
"Y-you're not angry?" she asked timidly. Xander gave a long, tired, sigh.
"I'm furious, actually," he said grimly. "But not at you. And not at the father either... which I'm guessing is you, Laslow?"
"Y-yes, milord..."
"I expected better from my retainer-"
"It wasn't his fault," Corrin said immediately. "I was the one who-"
"No, milord, it really is my responsibility-" Laslow cut in.
"That's not true-!"
"Enough!" Xander said loudly. "Let me finish what I meant to say, for goodness' sake," he said tiredly. "As I was saying, I expected my retainer to at least ask for my sister's hand before everything got complicated, but that it's not really my place to tell her what to do. It hardly seems like you forced her, or I doubt you'd still be alive," he said drily. Laslow gulped.
"I would never," he said, setting his jaw.
"Right. In that case, what I'm angry about is the fact that it's so complicated to protect you once its come to this. Unlike Kaze and Azura, I hadn't heard of you two being romantically involved at all."
"That..." Corrin began, but Laslow placed a hand on her shoulder.
"We were being careful, or so we thought," he lied. "My deepest apologies, Lord Xander. Please punish me as you see fit."
"No," Corrin said firmly. She hesitated a moment before placing her own hand over his. "If you're punished, then I should be as well."
"Don't be stubborn, milady-"
"I'm not," she said softly. Perhaps it was knowing that he was willing to take the fall for her and their child, but she felt resolved now. "Xander... I know it's sudden, but I want to ask you to give us your blessing."
Xander raised his hand to his lips, thinking.
"You are aware that your circumstances are completely different from Azura's, don't you, little princess?"
"Yes."
"Your life does not belong to you alone, and it doesn't belong to your child either. You know this."
"I am fully aware, she said, her fingers tightening slightly on her lap. "I carry the weight of this entire army on my shoulders."
"Unfortunately, you do. Marriage is one thing, and easily arranged, but what do you plan to do about your pregnancy? You cannot lead and you cannot fight in your condition. Do you mean to go through with it anyway?"
Corrin closed her eyes, breathing deeply.
"I will carry the child to term. And... I will continue to fight as well."
Laslow made a shocked noise, and Xander accidentally knocked over his book.
"What?!" Laslow cried, obviously caught of guard. "You can't fight like this! You're-!"
She turned her red eyes on him unnervingly fast and he fell immediately silent.
"I hate to say it like this," Corrin said, turning back to Xander. " But I have a duty to my country as their princess and commander. I can't come first. The army needs to know that I'm willing to put my life in danger, the same as them."
"It's not just your life, princess! You can't put an innocent child in harm's way!" Laslow said. "Weren't you the one who said you wanted this child?! Weren't you the one who said the dragon in you wouldn't allow you to hurt it?!"
"Exactly," she replied. "I have something no one else does; I have scales. I have plated armor, I have claws, fangs, horns. I can continue to fight on the front lines as a dragon; my body is far more resilient in that form, and I think... no, I know that I'll be able to fight up to the very last moment without harming the child, and I can do it more viciously and defensively than ever before."
"You're not invincible as a dragon, sister," Xander said sharply.
"No, but I have very capable retainers to watch over me," she said. "And..." she paused, unsure as she glanced up at Laslow. "I have you... don't I?"
He bit his lip, but he nodded. "Yes... you have me."
"The soldiers won't want you out on the field, putting yourself in needless danger," Xander said.
"I'll hide it for as long as I can," Corrin said. "When that becomes impossible... you can take over for me, brother."
"Gods damn it, Corrin!" Xander growled angrily as he got up from his chair. "I won't allow it, I won't let you put yourself at risk!"
"I'll do what I have to do!" Corrin shouted, standing up suddenly. "I'm the last person here who wants to hurt this child! I'm shaking just considering what might happen," she said, holding out her hands; they were trembling, but she wasn't able to stop.
"Then think about yourself! Pregnancy and childbirth isn't as simple as you think! The mother runs risks as well, you can both die from the smallest complications! And your health has been bad lately as it is-"
"Brother, I know I can do this," she cut in, digging her nails into her palm. "But if you'll oppose it... I won't hesitate to use my authority."
The room went silent.
"I'm Crown Prince, my authority supersedes yours, little princess," Xander finally said, eyes glinting dangerously.
"Only in matters of state," she shot back. "When it comes to this war, and to decisions about my own well-being, then even you can't overturn a direct command, Xander."
"Corrin!" he barked. Laslow took one of her hands and tried to pull her back.
"Please Corrin, don't do this," he pleaded. "Please..." He looked pale, his face lined with worry.
"I have to," she said. "I'm sorry. We just can't afford to lose our commander when we're this deep in enemy territory. It's too late to turn back now, and Azura and I are the only ones who have the ability to negotiate. With Azura out, it falls to me to try to prevent as much bloodshed as possible in this war."
"You don't have to carry so much by yourself," Xander said, that same worried look in his eyes. "I can lead in your place."
She shook her head, giving him a rueful smile. "I know you're worried about me, Xander... but in order for this war to come to an end with minimal casualties, the Nohrian army has to be led by someone who has ties to both countries. I know you would be a fantastic commander, but the Hoshidans won't see that."
"Perhaps, but even they think you're a traitor, Corrin," Laslow said, still clutching her hand.
"I'm a Nohrian, I don't deny it. But since we set out, I've been trying to prove that Nohr isn't as ruthless as the Hoshidans fear we are. They're willing to listen, if we show them that. And some of them will listen to me because I'm Queen Mikoto's daughter. Kaze is proof of that."
Xander stared at the flames, clearly thinking hard.
"I see," he finally said, sounding tired. "If you've put that much thought into it..."
"I have," she affirmed. "And... I don't want this child to grow up in a world full of war and hatred either," she said, deliberately interlacing her fingers with Laslow's. He made a movement behind her, but she ignored it. "I want to fight to make it a better place for children of any country to live in. That's my responsibility as an adult."
"You're a foolish, naive child, Corrin," her brother said, sighing. "But I can see I won't make you see sense. If you insist on being reckless, then fine, I won't dissuade you. But don't you dare die on me, little princess."
"I promise you I won't."
"Very well. That being settled, we need to talk about wedding plans..."
Azura had a headache.
She couldn't believe what Mozu had told her, and even when she'd marched up to Xander and demanded to know why he'd allowed Corrin to continue fighting once the winter was over, he merely grimaced.
"Corrin has decided that this is what's best for the war effort," he said flatly. "She would not be dissuaded."
"But surely you must know that-?!"
"Shh!" he hissed, looking around the hall for eavesdroppers. "Yes, I do know the circumstances, but she still would not yield. I have no authority to force her."
"You're the Crown Prince, brother!"
"And she's a dragon, for goodness' sake! And the commander to top it all off; I technically can't order her not to go. Besides... she's right. She's the only person capable of achieving negotiations with the Hoshidans. She understands the risks, but she still won't allow that to to come in the way of her duties."
"But what about her?! What about her... you know what?!"
"She says her body has become more resilient. Dragons, it would seem, are not a force to be ignored, especially under such... stress."
"Oh gods, this is ridiculous," she huffed, more upset than she expected to be.
"I agree, but she will go regardless. The most I can do is protect her beforehand with the wedding."
Azura was so angry that she made it a point to ignore Corrin for several days. It was hard, because her sister was apparently asking after her quite a bit, and she had to keep telling Mozu to send her away.
"She looks distressed, milady," Mozu said one afternoon a few days later. "Perhaps...?"
"I don't want to hear it," Azura snapped, mending a dress she'd torn earlier.
"But milady, ya fought for almost three months in your condition..."
"Yes, but not because I wanted to!"
"I'm sure Lady Corrin is torn up 'bout it as well..." she hesitated, picking up the naginata she'd been sharpening.
I know. I know I'm being irrationally angry. But I can't help it; she shouldn't be putting herself at risk like this!
A small part of her reminded her that she was the one who was most worried about leaving the army in Xander's hands in the first place. Her Hoshidan family would certainly be safer if Corrin was in charge, but...
I'm not willing to trade her for their lives, she thought through gritted teeth. I'm not that selfish and deplorable... at least not yet.
Kaze finds Laslow sitting on the edge of the castle roof, staring out over the town blankly with a drink in hand.
"It's dangerous to drink in a place like this," he says suddenly, revealing his presence. Laslow gives a small start at his voice but doesn't seem too surprised to see him.
"No more dangerous than going to war," he says, his eyes on the darkening horizon.
"You could lose your balance and fall."
"I don't plan to drink enough to do that," Laslow says simply. "I just... wanted some time to myself."
"Nervous?" Kaze asks, sitting next to him.
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't..."
"It will be fine. Everyone is nervous the night before their wedding."
"We didn't want to make a big fuss, but Lady Camilla insisted. Though, I'm more worried about what happens after..." he mutters.
Kaze looks up at the stars that are just starting to come out.
"But it's not your first time, so I don't see what there is to be nervous about."
Laslow spits out his drink.
"Whoa, wait, what?!"
"Well, I suppose the expectation is a little different," Kaze says thoughtfully. "But you should be fine."
"WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT MY SEX LIFE NOW," Laslow says loudly, his voice echoing in the night air. He immediately flushes.
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, I already told you you were heard," Kaze chuckles.
"Believe me, I know," he mutters, taking a drink.
"Speaking of which, why aren't you drinking with Selena, Odin, and the others?" Kaze asks, reminded of the conversation he overheard between Lady Camilla and her retainer. "I seem to recall being dragged off by you before my own wedding."
"Oh, well, Selena might murder me, so I'm trying to stay out of her way," Laslow shrugs nonchalantly.
"Why would she do that?!"
"Because she's Selena," he says simply. "And she gave me a warning beforehand."
He doesn't elaborate, and Kaze doesn't press him.
"Everything changes tomorrow," Laslow says a moment later, his eyes open but somehow clouded with something Kaze can't put a name to.
"I suppose it can seem that way, yes..." Kaze replies slowly. "But it's also wonderful, being with someone who loves you."
A small, sad grin twitches at the edge of Laslow's mouth. "I suppose it would be."
Notes:
And just as Corrin starts to turn her thoughts toward more pressing matters, Azura is suddenly far more upset about her sister's decisions than the people actually involved in the whole mess. Dramatic irony is dramatic.