Main Character in the Story:

*Kim So Hyun as "Athena" Myung-hee Park

Minor Characters in the Story:

*Brenna D'Amico as Marilyn Rivera

*Robert Downey, Jr. as Himself

*Patricia Velásquez as Mrs. Ramirez

Chapter XV: What Do You Want?

~o~

.

.

~o~

"I don't understand it, Marilyn!" I say as we collect our stuff from our desks. She places her supplies in her bag neatly, whereas I just stuff things in and hope nothing gets crushed in the process. "I love him. You don't know how much I love Tom. But all he does is making me cry, and I am always feeling just that little hint of depression in me. I am supposed to be happy, smiling, feeling like the luckiest person in the world… why I do always feel like a little girl crying over her lost doll?"

"Has he done something to make you cry?" Marilyn zips up her bag and looks at me.

"He doesn't have to anything. His presence causes all the pain. He's perfect; I'm not. He's talented; me? Not so much. He's rich and successful; I'm sure as hell, not either of those things. He's amazing, handsome and famous and I'm… I'm just Athena Park… I'm just Park Myung-hee, the girl nobody knows. And if they do know me, they will most likely know me as the girl who was missing for years on end. He's way, way out of my league. I never see what he could possibly see in me. I'm sure he has told me numerous times, but I just don't believe in any of it. It just sounds like bullshit to my ears."

"Hurry up, girls. I do have a lunch I would like to eat." Our History teacher says.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Salerno." I reply. I zip my bag closed.

"Could it be your fault, then?" Marilyn asks.

"What? How could it be my fault? It's his stupid-ass, life-ruining perfection that's causing me a lot of pain."

"Yeah, but everything you said sounds like you're hating on yourself rather than hating on him. You're giving him positive qualities, and yourself negative qualities. Instead of looking at the brighter side, you're looking at the darker side, and that way of thought is making you depressed. You're making yourself cry."

I take in all her words. Why do I have a feeling she's right? "So you are saying I am blaming him for something that I am doing."

She shakes her head yes.

I sigh. "Instead of admitting you are right, can't I just keep on hating him for hurting me like that?"

"Not unless he's doing it on purpose."

I sigh even deeper. "Fine. You are… you are probably right?" I sling my book bag over my arm.

"I should be. I learned how to do that in Psychology class. I'm surprised it helped."

"Yeah. Do me a favor and don't get used to it?" I walk ahead of her and out of the classroom.

She catches up and keeps up with my pace. "You know. Maybe you should work on that."

I snort. "You make it sound so easy. This is a simulation of a situation. This is the real thing we are dealing with."

"I'm not an idiot, Thena. I never said it would be easy. But it wouldn't hurt to work on it a step at a time. It's time you start laughing with Tom instead of crying. I'm more than willing to help you with it."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Maybe she can help me. Can I really change? Could I possibly have the chance to feel better about myself? Or all these questions are crazy thoughts created from hopeless wishing? "You know what? I'm going to see him this summer. Let me work it out as much as I can. Then, when I get back and if I still want it, you can help me. Deal?"

"Yes, yes, yes. Wait, you're going to see him?"

I nod my head.

"In England?"

"Yes."

"Where all the hot guys are?"

I let my shoulders rise and fall with my "No idea" face.

"Oh my gosh, have fun! Last time I was there for a fashion show. The Four Seasons hotel staff were so nice-"

"I am not going to a hotel. I am… um… I am staying with him. With Tom."

I feel like I spoke another language, because she gives me such a confused look. "You're staying in England."

I raised an eyebrow. "I think we had just covered that."

"With Tom."

I nod my head.

Now I'm a little confused. "I swear, it's like I just said all of this already."

"That's not why I'm repeating it. You just said you have emotional issues when you're around with Tom. Now you're flying to England to spend a summer with Tom… Now, how does that makes sense?"

I shrug it off. "I think I will be fine. I can handle it."

"Look." I stop right at the cafeteria entrance and face her. "I need to see him. I still miss him, and this Susannah-thing is driving me nuts. Plus, this is England we are talking about. I have always dreamed of going there. I would still find a way to go even without Tom's invitation." I hesitate as I think my next thought through. Finally, I wrap my arms around her and hug her. I count to three in my head before letting go. "Thank you for your concern, but I will be fine."

"You hugged me." She says in shock.

"Yeah, don't start getting used to it." I walk up the hallway into the most dangerous room of the school: the cafeteria.

~o~

"What do you have next?" Marilyn asks me.

I point to the auditorium entrance as we approach it. "Drama."

"Oh. I have the third floor. I'll see you later."

"Alright. Bye." I wave goodbye to her and enter the open doors of the auditorium. Ask Ms. Ramirez about the play. I immediately reminded myself.

I set my stuff down on my usual seat and hurry down the aisle. I run up the steps and slip behind the curtain, out of my classmates' sight.

"Ms. Ramirez?" I call out because God knows if she will ever spends time in office.

"In here, sweetheart!"

I follow her voice right into her office.

She sits at her desk, her back to the door, clicking at a game of Solitaire.

"Hi, Miss. I was wondering if you have any more of those sheets about auditions."

"You're auditioning?" she says, spinning around to look at me.

"Considering it. I haven't decided yet."

"You need to decide that you'll do it. You can act, Athena. You have real potential."

I give her a small, effortless smile. "Maybe."

She pulls something out from underneath her grade book and hands it to me. "There are altos desperately needed in this play, just to let you know."

"Okay." I fold it in half and slide it into my back pocket.

"Athena, do me a favor. Just pop your head out the door and yell for Rob."

"Sure." I stick my head out into the open. "Rob! Ms. Ramirez needs you!"

"Thank you, dear."

"No problem." I exit her office and walked back out into the auditorium itself. I jump down from the stage and head back to my seat.

Five minutes later, Ms. Ramirez finally comes out and sits on the edge of the stage. "Alright, I have good news and bad news. Bad news is: you're going to have to move up to third now, Athena."

I get up disappointedly and grab my stuff. I side-step out of the row and move to the seat Ms. Ramirez is pointing to. I plop down and fake a smile towards her.

"Don't be like that. You know it's the same routine every day."

I don't respond as I stay silent.

She sighs. "Alright. Good news is: we'll be doing some helpful acting exercises today."

The entire class around me groans at the announcement. I think it's correct to say this is not good news for them. I, on the other hand, couldn't care less.

Ms. Ramirez echoes their groans, making fun of their reactions. "Ugh. Ms. Ramirez. That means we have to do work."

A few students laugh.

"Only we weren't patient enough to hear it's with Robert Downey, Jr."

Confused looks spread across everyone's faces; everyone except me. Hananim-ui Eomeoni. {Mother of God.}

"You don't believe her?" Someone shouts from behind the curtain. Then, at the center-stage, the curtains are thrown apart. Robert Downey, Jr. comes walking out in a bleach-white button-down shirt and pitch-black pants.

The air instantly fill with screams, shouts and whistles for such a legend as Mr. Downey.

That son of a… Dear God, kill me now.

It's a while before everyone else is calmed down, especially the girls. One of them even started sobbing uncontrollably. That's really sad.

"Yes, yes, my children." Robert says. "It is me. I am here. I promise, I am not hologram."

Ms. Ramirez has a wide, amused smile across her face. She looks back at the class. "I met Rob a few years ago in a clu—er, coffee place in New York. We've been pretty good friends ever since. He's here in Stamford for a few more days, so I gave him a quick call. He agreed to teach my last drama class today. That happens to be you lucky cookies."

"You are all lucky cookies, indeed. So here's how it's gonna work. Every time we start an exercise, I will demonstrate it with Claire." He gesture to Ms. Ramirez with his hand. "Then break off into two or more."

"And before I forget." Ms. Ramirez hops off the stage and grabs a yellow bucket of books off the piano. "You all have to take monologue book at random."

"Good. You guys will be needing that. But first thing we're gonna do is get up. Come on, all of you."

Quiet groans, of course, are the students' responses (myself included).

"Cut it with the groans like I'm making you lift weights. I'm forty-eight-years old, and standing is still as easy as the breeze for me. Up, up, up!"

He waits patiently until all our lazy bodies are up. Actually, he looks like he's doing more than waiting. He's… searching. He's scanning every face with his eyes up until he lands on… ugh, me. Wonderful. I totally needed him to see me.

He smiles and chuckles to himself.

I rub my eyes as I feel the stress coming on. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!

As Robert gives the directions, I hear someone breathing next to my ear. I look to my right to see who the hell it is.

A brunette girl with blonde streaks in her hair is staring at me, studying me, with the most curious look I have ever seen.

I wait for her to go away, but that clearly isn't going to happen. "May I help you?" I ask her with a creeped-out voice.

She points to Robert. "You know who that is, don't you?"

I slowly nod my head yes.

"So how are you not freaking out?"

I shrug, unsure of what to say.

"Told you she was a freak." Someone next to her says.

The girl moves back to her spot behind me.

I have no idea why, but the other girl's comment really gives a blow to my chest. I am a freak. I knew that already. It's been that way since freshmen year. So… why did her words offend me?

After the strange encounter, my mind took it as an okay to drift off. I'm deep in the world of one of my fan-fictions, re-enacting a scene, when someone waves a hand in front of my face. It's a few seconds before I looked up at the person.

Robert is smiling at me, eyebrows raised. "You back, Little Myu-Myu?"

I glare at him. "Again with the name. What do you want?"

"Everyone else is paired up in a heartbeat. You seem to be the only student left without a partner."

"So what? You find this an opportunity to talk to me?"

"No… well, yes, but not just like this. I'm going to be your partner."

"Oh, joy." I push myself up off the seat and follow him to a spot he chooses by the stage.

He turns around and faces me. "Alright. Meditation."

"Eh? You actually meditate?" I raise an eyebrow.

He thinks about my question for a second even though it wasn't a very complicated question. Then he leans in close enough for no one else to hear him. "Not really. Some of the girls are just scaring me a bit. A couple of them looked a little evil when they are staring at me."

I nod my head knowingly. "The Goths. Yes, they always look like that. Don't worry about it."

"Right. You can just do the breathing techniques. I don't care."

"You are such a great teacher. I swear." I start taking deep, square breaths. Breath in, count to five, breath out, count to five. Igeos-eun salamdeul-i malhaneun geoscheoleom doum-i doel geos-ibnida. {This better be as helpful as the people say.}

"You probably assumed already that I'm here for you."

"No." I reply with the greatest amount of sarcasm. "You don't say. I would never have guessed."

"Alright, alright. Take it easy, Princess of Sarcasm. In truth, I don't want you. Gwyn does."

"Gwyn?" I repeat. "As in Gwyneth Paltrow? Why does she want me?"

He shrugs. "She likes you. She called you a rare gem. Kind, intelligent, mature. There's something very, and I'm quoting her, 'grown up' about your personality. I told her that was a hell of a first impression of Little Myu-Myu. But Gwyn usually has a good judgment, and she seems to have some kind of faith in you."

"So what does that mean? Does she want to be friends or something? Am I getting a gift out of this? What's the deal?"

"She wants to meet you. A movie, a spa day, go to dinner or something."

I begin laughing quietly. Surely, he must be joking. "I don't think so. I'm going to have to decline."

"Why?" He gives me a curious look.

"Because there are more celebrities in my life than three should be. Tom Hiddleston, Emma Hiddleston, you, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth. All you need to do is throw in Leonardo DiCaprio and Mads Mikkelsen, and I will be drop dead."

"You'd think a teen girl would think herself blessed with a life like that."

"Eom-ma-ya, {Oh my god,} stereotypes. I don't think I'm 'blessed'. I think I'm getting mixed in with the wrong people. People like celebrities are used to getting attention. I'm sure as hell am not. Celebrities go out doing what they love. I'm still in school; clearly I'm doing that.

He sighs. "Look, your life is getting to a point where you'll have to get used to it. If you stay with Tom for the long run, the celebrity life will become your life, whether you like it or not.

I absorb his words as soon as he finishes. He's right. Tom is beoming more and more famous by the day. His fanbase is rapidly increasing. And he still has more movies and plays coming his way. Soon enough, I won't be left with any other choice but to deal with it. I close my eyes and made a deep sigh. "When, where and what time?"

"Gwyn told me to tell you we're having dinner with some friends tonight at seven. You can wear a casual dress or something. I'll get your address from Tom."

"Wait, when you say 'friends'-"

"Alright! That's quite enough meditation for one day. Time for the next exercise."

I know for a fact that he did that to avoid the question. As the rest of the class time runs on, I can't do anything but dread over the fact that I am going to dinner with celebrities. Naega nae mulgeon-e don-eul jibulhaneun geos-eul algedoendamyeon, naega mul-eul masil su-issneun geos-eun geuge naega jinjihage yeoyuleul gajil su issgi ttaemun-ida. {If I find out I'm paying for my own stuff, I'm getting a glass of water because that's all I can seriously afford.}