Celluloid Heroes

Part 2.

Darwin cleared his throat to get everybody's attention.

"I think you'll be happy to know that our hard work wasn't all in vain. All the bugs we planted are in working order. Miss Belova just confirmed it," he said, getting a general murmur of approval from his teammates.

So far, so good. But it's going to change after I announce the next phase of the plan.

While the adaptoid mutant fully supported the theory about Simon Williams being the cause of Wanda's breakdown, he believed it's dangerous to make assumptions about the local heroes just because the Exiles used to know their counterparts. What if they end up in the world where Doctor Doom is the leader of Avengers, and Daredevil is a mob boss?

"We need information on the local superhero community, especially the inside info on Wonder Man and Scarlet Witch," Darwin said after voicing his doubts. "And that's why I decided that we must split. Three of the Exiles will stay here and the other three must go to New York to keep an eye on Scarlet Witch. That way we can cover all the bases."

Raza immediately asked if it's wise to divide the team. The mutant expected this question and reassured everybody that it won't be a problem thanks to Nico Minoru and her teleportation spell; if the situation arises they'll be only a phone call away.

"Iron Fist, I'm placing you in charge of the second team."

"What?!" Flash cried out indignantly, "You want to put Mr. My-Real-Name-Is-Not-Important in charge?"

"Can't imagine why," Nico said in a syrupy voice, "Surely our illustrious Captain Spider must be in charge; he has maturity beyond his years."

Darwin anticipated Flash's response, "Spider, calm down. There's a reason for my choice; I have a special assignment for you."

His words seemed to mollify the wall-crawler somewhat, enough to stop hurling accusations against Iron Fist.

"Your assignment is to go undercover... as a superhero."

If this can't get Thompson's attention, nothing can.

"Come again?" Captain Spider looked flabbergasted, and he wasn't the only one.

Darwin explained patiently, "We can't plant the bugs inside the Avengers Mansion; any listening devices can be discovered and traced back to us. The only way to make the local capes talk is to trick them into thinking that you are one of them."

Darwin put a lot of thought to that part of the plan. He crossed out himself and Raza Longknife immediately because of the appearance. Iron Fist's fighting style was too distinct for any competent martial artist. Crimson Dynamo was out of question because of her armor.

Flash Thompson, with his the relative inexperience can easily pass for a rookie hero. They come and go all the time, nobody pays too much attention to the rookies and nobody will question his origins.

0000000

"Lunge, attack, dodge! Faster! Attack, dodge! Faster! Watson, watch your balance!"

The training swords clashed and clanked as Melvin Potter and Mary-Jane circled each other, the redhead trying her best to keep up with the more experienced actor. They were rehearsing the fight scene between Baron Zemo and Spitfire on the rooftops of Montmartre.

When her movement started to get slower, he said, "Let's call it a day."

MJ Watson rubbed her aching wrists. Her arms and legs felt like lead.

"If you think it's bad, you should have seen me during the filming of Spartacus."

She leaned forward, expecting a story.

"J.J. believes in method acting. I learned it the hard way," Melvin Potter was the only actor she knew who could call Mr. Jameson "J.J. " and get away with it, "For three hellish months we did nothing but lifting weights, fencing, wrestling and running with sack of stones behind back. "If you want to play gladiator, you must feel like one of them," Melvin made a fairly good imitation of Jameson's voice, "At least now I know why gladiators were so eager to kill each other. It was the act of mercy."

"And..?"

"I broke my leg when we were filming the Capuan revolt. All the training from hell was for nothing. From that day on I swore I'd never agree to do my own stunts ever again."

MJ laughed nervously, "Too bad I didn't know that story when I was signing the contract."

"Relax. I doubt J.J. is going to send you on the rooftops without a stunt double. If he wanted to, you'll be on the strict training regimen since day one."

"Speaking of stunt doubles - did they find a new one for you?"

It was a legitimate question; after two of his stuntmen ended up in the hospital, people started whispering that the role of Baron Zemo was jinxed.

The Curse of Zemo. Honestly, the things people come with…

The actor answered, "Don't know where Brant found that guy, but he has a flair for cheap dramatics. He insisted that nobody can see him without Zemo's mask."

MJ asked with disbelief, "And Mr. Jameson agreed to it?"

Melvin shrugged, "The new guy impressed J.J., so the boss let it slide."

"He is that good?"

"He knows his stuff," Melvin admitted with reluctance, "I'll be hard pressed to keep up with him even when I was in top shape. Oh, well, nobody's getting younger," he assumed the fighting stance, "En garde!"

0000000

"Let's go through the plan one more time. Iron Fist, Captain Spider and Crimson Dynamo are going to New York. Miss Belova, you'll have to leave the armor here…"

He was interrupted by the blond heroine. "It's not a simple as you think," Darwin turned to Yelena with a heavy sense of foreboding. "You see, the armor of every Crimson Dynamo has built-in killswitch. If the enemy steals it and tries to tinker with it, the suit will explode. If I die, the suit will explode," she added in a same low voice, "If I don't enter a proper code every twelve hours, the suit will explode."

Flash Thompson gaped, "Your armor is a freaking BOMB? And you agreed to wear it? Are you nuts?"

"We live and die protecting our borders," Yelena said solemnly, "If you volunteer to join Crimson Dynamo program, you are warned beforehand what it means. I didn't back down; there is no greater honor than to give your life for your country," She added looking at Flash with mild distaste, "I don't expect you to understand."

Raza's question was less emotional and more practical. He wanted to know if the killswitch can be deactivated permanently. She answered that it's technically possible but unfortunately the necessary equipment is only available on the main base of the Winter Guard.

Darwin hid his annoyance. Yelena's revelation put a serious damper on his long-term plans. He wanted to send the Russian heroine to New York, leaving her armor in the apartment to attract less attention. Now he had to improvise.

"Change of plans. Iron Fist, Captain Spider, you are going to New York with Sister Grimm. Crimson Dynamo, you will stay here with me and Raza Longknife."

0000000

"Sihal Novarum Chinoth!"

Nico Minoru slightly miscalculated when she used the teleportation spell, and the Exiles appeared two feet above the roof.

Iron Fist sent Chi to his legs and landed with catlike grace. Flash Thompson did two somersaults in the air and managed to grab the young witch with an outstretched hand. If not for his spider-like reflexes, she could break something important.

Iron Fist looked around the dusty warehouse and asked, "So that's the place Young Avengers used as a hideout?"

"Obliviously, not in this universe," Captain Spider quipped with a shrug.

Iron Fist shot Nico a concerned look. It seemed that the teleportation spell took a lot out of her. The witch looked like she was seasick.

"Are you all right?"

"I…I don't feel so good – Urrrp!"

Flash's spider-sense kicked in and he jumped aside just in time to avoid the rain of vomit.

Iron Fist reached out to her, pressed his hands against Nico's forehead and closed his eyes. The girl was enveloped in the golden light.

"I don't think this is a sickness," the martial artist declared after a while, "At least not in a traditional sense of the word."

"Not a sickness…? Holy crap!" Flash had a sudden high school flashback. The head was the same lovely shade of green when she barged into the locker room and told the unpleasant news to the shell shocked linebacker, "Why the hell Timebroker forgot to tell us that she is pregnant?"

"I'm NOT pregnant, you imbecile!" Nico's death glare could be more impressive if she wasn't looking green around the gills.

Iron Fist politely intervened, "I'm average at Chakra Healing, but I was able to determine that your Third Eye Chakra was disturbed by external force. Any guesses on how it could happen?"

Nico closed her eyes, still angry at Flash for jumping into conclusions. Then she uttered one word, "Mysterio."

"Are you sure?"

"When Mysterio tried to control my mind, I expelled him. He must have left (?) a time bomb of sorts as a farewell gift. That's the only thing that makes sense."

"Shouldn't it go off when you unmasked Goblin?"

"The Unmasking spell I used on Goblin was stored in my staff. When I tried to cast something new... BOOM!"

0000000

The silhouette of Baxter Building looked bright magnificent under the sunlight. Captain Spider jumped from one roof to another to have a closer look at the futuristic skyscraper.

In the wall crawler's homeworld Baxter Building was destroyed by the terrorist attack. The loss of one of the most famous landmarks nearly started World War Three. The anti-terrorist hysteria came to a screeching halt after Ben Urich showed the world a proof that the attack on the Baxter Building was an inside job. A bunch of nutjobs on government payroll wanted an excuse to invade Symkaria and underestimated the public's reactions. But the first scandal was nothing compared to the shitstorm unleashed once it was proven that President Osborn knew and approved of their tactics.

Ben Urich was forced to flee the country and seek the political asylum in Latveria to avoid a death sentence. Ex-president Osborn was shot on the steps of the courthouse; the identity of the shooter has remained a mystery.

Enough sightseeing; Darwin wants me to play a part of the superhero. I suppose this is as good time as any to start heroicking.

The wall-crawler's extended hearing rewarded him very soon. The high-pitched scream pierced the evening air.

Hold on, babe, Captain Spider to the rescue!

His instincts didn't deceive him; three minutes of running and jumping, and he could see the terrified young woman surrounded by a dozen of rough-looking men in the dark alley.

"Quickly, we don't have much time! Grab that slut and...!"

That wasn't his New York, but Flash knew exactly what to do in situation like this.

"Grab THIS, you halfwit!" Captain Spider descended upon them like an avenging angel, knocking out two of them. The tall thug swung the baseball bat at the hero. Flash grabbed the bat and used a fraction of his true strength to break it in two pieces.

"You sonofabitch..! That bat was signed by Fred Myers! I'll kill you slow for that!"

"Bring it on!"

The following fight was short; the thugs were powerless to against the wall-crawler's superior strength and agility. When the last of them was sprawled on the pavement, Flash turned to the victim, flashing his best winning smile… but the girl was long gone.

Captain Spider's disappointment didn't make him careless and he noticed somebody on the other side of the alley snapping photos. The photographer was trying to be discreet but the sound of the camera going off gave him away.

Flash groaned as he recognized the paparazzi. Out of all the people from his past, he had the misfortune to run into Puny Parker.

Why MJ tolerated him is a mystery. I mean, that's Parker we are talking about. Give him powers like mine, and I bet he'll screw everything up by unmasking in public or doing something equally stupid.

The wall-crawler followed Peter, staying out of his line of sight by using rooftops. When the photographer entered the Daily Bugle lobby, Flash used the spider-hearing. He was pleasantly surprised that Peter went straight to the assistant editor, and the photos were sold almost immediately.

Looks like camera geek had found his calling. He is no Sally Floyd, but it's a start.

Eager to head home tell Iron Fist about his first success, Flash suddenly felt the spike of spider-sense and heard the echo of the explosion. The black smoke was coming from the windows on the top floor of Baxter Building.

Not again..!