Chapter 4

Charles was torn as Elsie pulled herself closer into his arms so that there was no longer any space between the two of them; he felt guilty that he had no doubt caused her these tears (and more tears over the past year than he would ever be able to count, he knew), and he felt guilty because of the way his mind and body were reacting to the closeness of her now. After all this time, he still hadn't forgotten the feel of her body pressed against his, her arms clinging around him, her soft hair tickling his chin as she buried her face in his neck... but now was not the time for intimacy; he wasn't sure if it would ever be time for that again.

Elsie's tears slowed after several minutes, and her breathing grew soft as she relaxed and drifted to sleep in Charles' arms. He continued to rub her back tenderly even after he was certain she was no longer awake, as the repetitive motion had a strangely soothing effect on him as well. Resolved to the fact that he was not getting out of the bed that night, Charles reached for the blanket to cover Elsie's chilled bare arms. As he did so, she stirred and whimpered softly.

"Don't go," she whispered hoarsely, pulling on the sleeve of his nightshirt.

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her as he covered her with the blanket.

Elsie sighed and reclaimed her place snuggled closely against Charles' warm body. He wasn't certain he should allow her to remain so near, but he couldn't bring himself to even consider abandoning her again.

Charles drifted in and out of sleep through the night. Various dreams haunted his brief moments of slumber, but all of them were of Elsie. He often awoke startled to find that she was truly in his arms; he had thought for certain that he would eventually awaken to realize that it had all been a mockingly sweet and fleeting dream. Charles was mindful of the time he was able to spend with her in his arms, as he doubted that he would ever get to experience it again.

Several restless hours passed until morning broke, bringing with it sweet, happy noises from little Charles. The older Charles reluctantly pulled himself out of sleeping Elsie's grasp and slipped out of the bed.

"Good morning, son," he whispered as he picked up the baby and cradled him closely against his chest.

He marveled at the way the child had slept peacefully through the night; he had heard numerous horror stories of babies crying all night and parents who didn't get a full night's sleep for at least a couple years.

Charles quietly sat down on the bed and lay the baby down beside his mother. The boy reached out and placed his hand on Elsie's cheek. Her eyelashes fluttered open, and she smiled sleepily at him.

"Good morning," she said to Charles.

"Good morning," he replied as she sat up in bed. "How did you sleep?"

Elsie dropped her head slightly as her cheeks flushed. Truth be told, she had a better night's rest in his arms than she had in all the time he had been gone.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, keeping her eyes focused on the wrinkled bed sheet.

"Don't apologize," he replied softly.

He felt the chill between them as he watched her pick up little Charles. He knew that she was thankful it was time to feed him because it would give her an escape from addressing the tension between them. He, however, was weary of avoiding the topic.

"Elsie," he spoke, looking up at her with saddened eyes. "Where did we go wrong?"

To be continued