Chapter Ten

The next day Elizabeth set off for London accompanied by Mr. Gardiner. Their goodbyes were rather protracted as Mrs. Bennet lamented them both for abandoning her.

"I don't know how we will manage without you, Lizzy," she cried, standing in the hallway, swaying alarmingly while Kitty and Lydia held an arm each to stop her from falling.

"Go," whispered Jane.

Elizabeth gave her sister a final hug and followed her uncle who was impatient to set off from the house.

They were soon settled in the carriage and her sisters came to wave her off.

"Goodbye, Mama," Elizabeth cried as the carriage pulled away and her mother came out of the house, waving and crying.

"Oh Lizzy, Lizzy… I will miss you."

Mrs. Bennet's words were lost in the wind as the carriage continued down the short drive. Elizabeth sat back with relief. For a moment she had been frightened that something would happen to prevent her leaving.

"I'm so grateful for your invitation, Uncle. I will miss Longbourn, but I shall enjoy some time away."

"You're a good girl, Elizabeth," said Mr. Gardiner. "Jane will take care of your mother, and it is nice for us to have you to ourselves for a while. Mrs. Gardiner is looking forward to seeing you. It has been too long since you were with us."

It was pleasant to feel so welcome and Elizabeth knew a month spent with her uncle and his family would be a great joy. But her present happiness was tinged with worry about Jane and Mr. Bingley. She wondered whether Jane's concerns for her future were unfounded. However, it was unlike Jane to say anything unless something was truly wrong. Elizabeth hoped whatever Mr. Bingley's business troubles were he would resolve them. It wasn't about Jane marrying a wealthy man. She and Mr. Bingley were meant to be together. Neither of them were given to grand gestures, but in their quiet friendship it was obvious to those who knew them well that they adored each other.

After spending some time watching the passing countryside as the horses gradually carried them onto the open roads, Elizabeth found her eyelashes fluttering and she fell asleep aware of nothing until they stopped and her uncle gently shook her arm to say they were stopping to rest the horses.

Elizabeth was glad to get out of the carriage as she had been sleeping a little awkwardly and she ached rather badly. Mr. Gardiner suggested a short walk before they had some refreshments and a rest, to which Elizabeth eagerly agreed. As she linked her arm with her uncle's, she raised the issue of the family's future which had been troubling her.

"Uncle, I have been thinking that I ought to seek some useful occupation."

"What do you mean, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth blushed. "None of us are yet married. Jane, we hope will be in the fullness of time, but our financial situation I understand is perilous."

"It is not quite as serious as that, Elizabeth," said Mr. Gardiner.

"Uncle, I am not Mama. I am not of a fragile disposition and I need to know."

Mr. Gardiner frowned. "This is not something you should concern yourself with."

Elizabeth tried not to sound impatient. "Uncle, I loved Father, but he admitted to me himself that if he died matters would be quite serious as he had not made enough provision for us all."

"Elizabeth, your father was a very private man, but he did make me aware of your situation in the event of his death. You are fortunate that Mr. Collins will allow your mother to stay in the house. However, in time there will need to be some changes made to living expenses."

"Do you mean we may have to let some of the servants go?"

"Yes. And in the future your mother may be forced to move to more modest accommodation."

Elizabeth was grateful that her uncle had told her the truth, but he had painted an alarming picture of what would happen if they did not get married and have homes of their own.

"I have been thinking what I might do. Perhaps I could get some work. I don't know what I could do."

Mr. Gardiner stopped walking and had to apologise to a man who was walking the other way after nearly tripping him up with his cane. "But Elizabeth, this is not what your father would have wanted."

"I know it is not, sir, but if it is true that Mama will have to make economies I do not want to be a burden to her. My father saw that I read widely, played the pianoforte, spoke French, painted a little. I do not know what I can do with these skills. but there may be something."

"Elizabeth, it is not what you were born to," said Mr. Gardiner firmly. "Now we will talk no more of this. Let us return to the inn and enjoy our meal."

Elizabeth said no more, but she was a little disappointed. She had thought Mr. Gardiner would agree that finding a position would be a good idea considering their financial circumstances. Perhaps when they were back in London he would be able to give the matter some of his attention. The only role she could think of for herself was as a governess. She was fond of children, but whether she could look after them every day, she was not certain. And what would it be like to be a servant? A governess she knew had an elevated status in a household, but they were still servants. It was a puzzle. Despite her uncle's reluctance to discuss it with her she knew that if their financial situation was as poor as had been indicated to her something would need to be done to prevent them all falling into penury. Knowing there was no more she could do at that moment, Elizabeth pushed the thoughts of her future to the back of her mind and thought about the pleasures awaiting her during her stay in London. Mr. Gardiner had mentioned an invitation to a ball and she felt excited at the prospect.

Mrs. Gardiner was there to greet them when they arrived, along with their children who were eager to see their father. Elizabeth saw immediately that her aunt was expecting another child.

"You did not say so in your letters," said Elizabeth.

"No, I did not, Lizzy. I thought you had enough things to worry about," said Mrs. Gardiner, laughing as her children ran noisily around their parents, trying to show their father what they had been doing in his absence.

Lizzy was happy for her aunt, but she did worry as Mrs. Gardiner had been most unwell when giving birth to her last child.

"I hope everyone is taking great care of you," said Elizabeth.

"I do my best," said Mr. Gardiner, "but it is not easy."

"You are very good," said Mrs. Gardiner, returning his affectionate smile.

Elizabeth saw the exchange and she could not help thinking how different the Gardiners were with each other than her own parents. She had loved her father deeply but it had been clear to her that whatever affection he had felt for her mother when they married, it had quickly disappeared leaving feelings of mild contempt. Elizabeth had often winced when she had seen her father use his sharp wit to tease her mother, inevitably leaving Mrs. Bennet bewildered and bitter. Her parents should never have married.

"Come, children. You can see your father later," said Mrs. Groves, the family governess, who took the hand of Betsey, the Gardiner's youngest child, and urged the others to follow her. "I am sorry they are so excited, sir. They have missed you."

"And I have missed them," said Mr. Gardiner. "Now go. We will speak later," He promised his second son.

William looked disappointed that he could stay no longer, but he was an obedient child and followed Mrs. Groves up the stairs.

Mrs. Gardiner led Lizzy into the pretty morning room and sat down.

"Now Lizzy, I would like to hear all your news," she said, patting the seat beside her.

"Are you comfortable, Aunt?" said Elizabeth, looking at her tired face.

"Lizzy, I am very well, so please do not fret. It is still quite early."

"You must rest while I am here and I shall help Mrs. Groves take care of the children."

"No, Lizzy, I will not allow it. You are here to have a holiday."

"But it will be good practice for me," said Elizabeth unthinkingly.

Mrs. Gardiner looked puzzled. She looked at her husband and then at Elizabeth. "I do not understand. Practice for what?"

Mr. Gardiner looked disapprovingly at his niece. "Elizabeth, we said we would not talk about this again."

Elizabeth had the grace to look embarrassed. She was a guest in his house and she did not want to offend him. It had not been deliberate. "I am sorry, sir. I spoke without thinking."

"I still do not understand what you are talking about, Elizabeth. Why should you need practice in looking after children?"

"I…" Elizabeth looked up at her uncle.

Mr. Gardiner sat down in the chair opposite his wife. "Elizabeth is thinking of looking for work."

Mrs. Gardiner seemed as shocked as her husband had been. "Work, Lizzy? I cannot think what has put such an idea in your head. It was not what you were born to."

Elizabeth looked at the concern on their faces. She did not want to pain them in any way, but she had to try and make them understand her thinking on the matter. "Circumstances change," she said quietly. "I know it is not what Father would have wanted, but he is no longer here." Her eyes filled with tears. "I do not want to be pressed into marriage."

Mrs. Gardiner was equally upset. "Elizabeth, it is a natural path for you to follow to get married and have your own family."

"But it is not what I want. I never have."

"That is because you have not met a suitable man," said Mrs. Gardiner, echoing the thoughts of Jane and Charlotte.

"And where is it that I might find him? Our circumstances are such that I will rarely be in good society to meet someone I would want to marry."

Mr. Gardiner looked unusually serious. "Elizabeth, sometimes we have to do things we do not want. You may have to act out of duty."

"And get married to a man such as Mr. Collins? Father certainly would not have entertained the idea. I would rather become an old maid like Aunt Clara," she said, thinking of her father's sister who had never married and lived in genteel poverty surrounded by her cats, reading and doing good works for those even less fortunate than herself.

"Your aunt's life is not as romantic as you might imagine" said Mr. Gardiner firmly. "Now I think enough has been said on the matter. Elizabeth, you must not close your eyes or your heart to marriage. I have no doubt you will find a good man like your sister."

Elizabeth said no more. She could not confide in her uncle that Mr. Bingley and Jane might not have the future that everyone was anticipating.