A/n thank you everyone for the lovely comments. Cloudshape - thank you for your thoughts. You are so right that these two need to talk about their feelings. Unfortunately, even if Snape was capable of being honest about his feelings at this point, he still won't have a conversation like that with Hermione while she is still his student. As for Snape's and Hermione's experience level; no Hermione doesn't have much experience, although I refuse to make her a Virgin simply because I think our society makes too big a deal about virginity, yada yada yada. Snape, on the other hand, is a bad boy. And remember there was over a decade between the first and second wars. He had plenty of time to dip his wick. Just because his patronus never changed doesn't mean he didn't get laid. Anyway, more on that in later chapters. Thank you so much for your thoughtful responses, all of you!
Snape uses the success of the potion to teach Hermione how to write an academic research proposal. It takes them a few weeks to get the paper written and enough of the potion produced, which Snape has named 'Lucid Dream.' By the time they have the paper completed the the potion ready to ship to St Mungo's for trials, Yule is almost upon them.
Hermione has reluctantly agreed to spend the holiday at Grimmald Place with Harry, Ginny, Ron, George, and any other stragglers from the DA that show up. But she isn't looking forward to spending the time away from Snape. She did ask Snape about remaining at Hogwarts over the holiday, but he was quite adamant about her spending the time away from him. The rebuff had hurt her feelings, of course.
Two days before Yule she asks him one more time. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay for the holiday?" she asked him while they were cleaning up from a particularly difficult few hours of brewing.
A long silence stretches out between them. Hermione thinks he may not answer at all. Snape straightens up and leans against a table. He folds his arms over chest and looks at her, his face like a stone, the way it has been since the night in the infirmary.
"Of course I want you to stay, Miss Granger."
"Then why are you making me go?"
"You're a grown woman, Miss Granger, I can't make you do anything. I've asked you to go because I think it will be good for you to spend the holidays with your friends. And, more importantly, because I am not a monk, and if I wish to remain employed at Hogwarts, I don't think I should spend the holidays in an empty castle with you."
Hermione blushes a deep scarlet at this, but holds his gaze. Snape's stone facade breaks a little when she turns red at his comment and he gives her his best predatory look. Her mouth falls open in a little "o" and it takes all the self control he has not to kiss her surprised mouth.
Snape takes pity on them both, then, crossing the distance between them and taking Hermione in his arms. He cups her head gently against his chest and allows them both a moment to breathe each other in.
"Why does this have to be so hard?" Hermione mumbles into his chest. She hears a low rumble in his chest in response, and she realizes he is chuckling softly. Before she can be offended, though, he bends down and kisses the top of her head.
"You won't be my student forever, Miss Granger." He straightens up and, reluctantly, disentangles himself from her. "Enjoy the holiday with your friends. If not for your own sake, then do it for mine, and theirs."
Hermione nods, unable to speak, her head swimming with the ramifications of what he said. 'You won't be my student forever.'
Snape's words carry Hermione through the winter break on a cloud of happy, hopeful longing. Her friends all agree she looks much improved from the summer, and when she mentions Snape's new potion, the grumbling is minimal.
Christmas eve, after much frivolity, Harry finds Hermione tucked into the library with an enormous book on her lap.
"What a surprise," Harry says when he finds her. "This is a party, Hermione."
"I listened to Seamus' stupid jokes for an hour, Harry. Now I just want to read."
"A Hogwarts owl came by looking for you," Harry says, dumping a small package next to her on the chaise.
Harry can't help but notice the way Hermione lights up as she picks up the package. "Who's it from, do you reckon?"
"Snape, I'm assuming," Hermione says, holding it against her, but making no move to open it.
"Snape's sending you Christmas presents now? Since when?" Harry is a bit incredulous.
"Since we became friends, I suppose. Really, Harry, it's not a big deal. It feels like a book. He probably just wants me to get ahead on whatever he has me studying next."
Harry looks slightly mollified at this. "How is he, anyway?"
"Snape?" Hermione says, "He's as well as can be expected, I guess. Physically he seems fine. It's impossible to get him to talk about what's going on in his head, though. But- he's not as grouchy as he used to be, at least not when it's just us. And I've actually seen him smile and heard him laugh. Not often, but, it has happened."
"Huh," says Harry. "Snape laughing. It's hard to picture."
"I know. Sometimes I still feel like pinching myself."
"Well, since you obviously aren't going to open that with me here, I'll get back to the party." Harry makes it to the door. Then he turns back. "And Hermione?"
"Yes?"
"Hedwig is in my room if you want to send a reply."
"Thank you Harry," Hermione says. As soon as the door closes behind Harry she tears the package open. Inside are three things. A handwritten note, a sealed envelope, and a book. She reads the note first:
Miss Granger- I hope my note finds you well, and that you are enjoying the holidays with your pet dunderheards. Enclosed please find a quite famous book by Nickolas flamel. While it isn't really about alchemy I think you will find it worth your time. I have also enclosed a sealed letter. Do not attempt to open it. Keep it safe and I will tell you when the time is right. Please keep yourself safe. I look forward to your return. Yours, Professor Snape.
Christmas morning Snape reluctantly makes his way up to the great hall for breakfast. He is just now sobering up from a night of Ogden's. He looks around the table at all the cheerful faces and wants to vomit. He realizes he has changed his mind, but just as he is about to leave a great white snowy owl swoops into the great hall, drops a small package on his plate and swoops out.
"Was that Hedwig?" asks McGonagall, clearly confused. Snape gives her a surly stare.
"Potter's Owl."
Snape examines the package and sees it is from Hermione. "Yes," Snape replies, "Potter's owl."
All conversation has ceased at the table, and all eyes are on Snape and the package he is holding. "It's from Miss Granger," he says, as if that should explain things.
"Well, open it!" cries professor Sprout. "Merlin, boy, I don't think I've ever seen you get a Christmas Present from a Gryffindor."
The whole table has a laugh at this. Snape sees no option here but to open the package. He dearly hopes the gift isn't too personal. In the package he finds a note, a sealed envelope, and an oblong box wrapped in cheerful paper. He reads the note first.
Professor Snape- I hope this letter finds you filled with holiday spirit. Thank you so much for the lovely book, Enclosed please find your present (I hope it will be useful when you have to start grading your own papers once again). Also please find enclosed a Christmas card from everyone here at Grimmald place. I have to warn you- they were all very drunk and Goerge was involved, so open it at your own risk. I, too, am looking forward to my return to Hogwarts. Yours, Hermione Granger
Snape is relieved to find Hermione's letter above reproach. And then, because he knows they are all dying to hear it but too polite (or afraid) to ask, he reads it aloud to the Hogwarts staff. McGonagall nearly chokes on her tea when he reads the part about being 'filled with holiday spirit.' When he gets to the end, they all encourage him to open her gift.
He does, and when he realizes what it is, he actually cracks a genuine smile. "It's a quill that only writes insults," he says, and they all have a good laugh as it is passed around the table.
When the quill makes its way back to him he holds up the sealed Christmas Card like its a stick of dynamite. "Wands to the ready," he says, and tears it open.
There is a loud *crack* and the entire table is showered with confetti. Then, the card hovers, open, above the table. A perfect hologram of the kitchen table at Grimmald Place appears on top of the open card, and Snape can see many of his old students clustered around it.
"Happy Christmas Professor Snape!" they are all shouting, every single one of them clearly inebriated. "You may still despise each and every one of us," says a drunken Neville, "but we don't care. We love you!"
In response to Neville's remark there are many "That's rights" and "Hear Hears!" He can see Hermione has her face down on the table at this point. Ginny's figure, seated next to Harry's, stands up and says. "I'm sorry I hexed you, Professor. But if you make Hermione cry I'll do it again! Oh, and- Happy Christmas."
Harry's figure stands up last. It raises a little glass toward Snape. "Happy Christmas, Professor," Harry says quite formally. "Thank you for everything you've done for Hermione, and, well, uh, I'm sorry for what happens next."
Then the card explodes with a Boom, and the entire great hall is plunged into absolute darkness.