Chapter 3

Takumi had never been one to wear his emotions on his sleeve but Misaki's words were such a shock that he temporarily dropped his guard. His face showed confusion but it was the feeling of pain that had caused Takumi's mask to drop. Every word Mizaki had spoken had felt like a fresh dagger was being plunged into his heart. This was worse than bearing her anger. At least if she showed anger or pain he would know that what they had, had been real. But this… this was saying that he had been completely insignificant to her. And the worst part was that she appeared to be completely sincere. There was no malice in her voice, no cruelty in her features. All indications were that she honestly didn't remember or, more importantly, she didn't remember them.

His mind switched back to its analytical mode as he ran through possible explanations. Did she truly feel such absolute indifference toward him that she actually forgotten him? He didn't think that possible. They had known each other too long and had spent too much time together for her mind to forget him even if she had never felt any type of emotion toward him. Was she being figurative and trying to tell him that he no longer had any place in her life? Even if she was a master actress and deliver that line with such sincerity, that just wasn't her style. She was honest and strait forward. She'd rather make sure her feelings were perfectly clear than try to send her message in the most painful way possible. Maybe this was her anger? Could she be punishing him for what he'd done. If this was her plan, she had been very successful. If she hated him that much, it meant she still cared. If she still cared about him, he knew he still had a chance to win her back. He searched her face. He didn't see anger on her features. Misaki could hide her emotions in her eyes and on her lips, but her heart had a mind of its own and her heart could never be silenced. If she was embarrassed or angry, her heart would voice its protests by sending blood shooting toward the surface turning her cheeks varying shades of red. He had spent countless hours devising schemes to make her heart speak to him. He knew its voice as well as he knew his own. Yet, there was no sign of a blush. She had not said this to anger him. He was at a loss.

"Misa," he said, the hurt and confusion evident in his voice, "why are you saying that?"

Initially, Misaki had assumed that Mr. Walker had some sort of business connection to her. Now she knew that she had been mistaken. If he was using her first name, or a nickname, and was showing such raw emotion, this must have been someone she had known on a personal level. Her embarrassment showed itself in the form of a blush.

Misaki was torn. She was a private person and didn't like to discussing her personal life with individuals outside of her family and close friends, but Mr. Walker's behavior seemed to suggest that he had once been a close friend. She had been in this situation on more than one occasion. It was one of the reasons she used to avoid events at her old college and high school. People would approach her and when she didn't recognize them, they would seem hurt or indignant. It was always awkward and it left her feeling guilty. More importantly, it was a reminder of all she had lost and that sense of loss would turn into a sadness that would linger for days. She had discovered that the best way to avoid this guilt and sadness was to ignore her personal preference for privacy and to be open and honest about this one area of her life. The strangers would no longer be hurt and more often than not they would begin to relay information about their shared past. These stories would either help her remember small bits of her life, or she would at least have a story to hold onto that would lessen her sense of loss.

"I apologize Mr. Walker," she said obviously sorry for causing him upset. "I was in a very bad car accident about three years ago. I am still recovering but I have made exceptional progress. One symptom that I continue to battle is retrograde amnesia. I am able to remember most of my life, but names, faces and some events are completely lost to me. My condition continues to improve each day, but if we were acquaintances when we were in our late teens to our early twenties, I must admit that there is a strong possibility that I may not remember you. Alternatively, I might remember a time we spent together but, rather than recognizing that it was time spent with you, my mind may recall it being a memory involving someone that shares a similarity with you. If you can refresh my memory," she continued, "how is it we know each other."

Takumi was heartbroken. How could he begin to tell her in all the ways that they knew each other? 'We knew each others' very essence, from each others' moods, mannerisms, likes, dislikes, innermost thoughts and fears. We knew each other right down to our very souls. Our love could rival that of Cesar and Cleopatra, Napoleon and Josephine and Adam and Eve. We knew each other as our everything.' No. he couldn't tell her that.

How could he be lost in her memory? How could she remember some of those years and not remember him? He had thought of her nearly every moment of every day for the past three years, and she hadn't even known that they had met? It was unfathomable. It was the stuff of fiction.

"We met at Seika High," he said as sadness filled his heart, "we actually dated for several years."

Misaki's face brightened. She thought she might know who he was now. "Do you sometimes go by the name a Takumi Usui?" She asked optimistically.

Takumi's heart began to lift, "Yes. I was going by that name back then. You remember me then?"

"Well my mother and sister had told me that I dated Takumi Usui in high school but I had no idea that was you. I can't imagine a Walker going to Seika High. I don't remember very much about you I'm afraid but my mother and sister seemed to think you were amazing. Suzuna is still single if you're interested in a date."

He was not interested in Suzuna and he was hurt that her only memories of him were scant. Still, she'd said she was getting better and he would happily make new memories with her. Maybe he should be grateful. If she didn't remember him, she couldn't remember the hurt he had caused her. He had won her over once and he was sure he could do it again. He could still be persistent and he liked to believe that after all these years he may have even learned a thing or two about the art of seduction. "Well, what about you," he asked, "Are you still single as well?"

Misaki blushed. She had never been one to be comfortable discussing her love life even to close friends. She may have been close to Mr. Walker at one point, but now she felt like a complete stranger was asking her something very personal. "I'm mainly focused on my career," she said trying to dodge the question.

Her blush was enough. Takumi had his answer. She was in a relationship and it looked like it was serious.