Late that evening, Hermione, Harry, Ron and Ginny were still sitting in the hotel-room, having ordered dinner there. It was the most awkward conversation Hermione could remember having had with her friends, ever (and that included the one they had after her break-up with Ron), so she was actually relieved when a knock sounded at her door.
Relief that quickly gave way to horror when she saw who was on the other side of it.
"Zabini? Malfoy? Nott? What are you doing here?"
"I assume all your friends are still here?" Zabini asked. At her nod, he pushed her aside and entered the room, followed begrudgingy by Malfoy and Nott.
"We all need to talk," he told everyone.
Harry and Ron already had their wands out, watching the Slytherins distrustingly. "Harry, Ron, they're alright," Ginny intervened before a fight broke out. "Put away your wands. Blaise is right, we need to talk about this."
"Blaise?" Harry asked while shooting a surprised look at Ginny. "I wasn't aware you knew him that well."
"All three of them joined us for the party last night, when everyone was too drunk to remember Hogwarts-rivalries" she explained. "Which is probably why those two happened." She pointed at Draco and Hermione, who stood as far as they possibly could from one another and looked highly uncomfortable.
"HOW COULD YOU HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN?" Ron burst out. He had managed to keep an impressive hold on his temper until now, but standing in the room with one of the people he hated most who also happened to be his best friend (and ex-girlfriend)'s husband was too much. "When your friends are drunk enough to do stupid shit like that, you don't leave them out of your sight!"
Ginny looked slightly guilty.
"In her defense," Blaise said. "From what I recall Ginny was almost as drunk as our two lovebirds here."
Both Draco and Hermione shot an offended look at Blaise, but remained quiet.
Harry put his hand on Ron's shoulder in an attempt to calm him down, and said: "There is no point in wondering who's to blame, now. What's done is done, and we need to figure out how to handle it."
"Well said, Potter, well said," Blaise said. "If I may?" Without waiting for confirmation, he went on to explain his plan. "Obviously, the news is already spread, and there's nothing we can change about that, so we need to do some serious damage-control. To make this in anyway plausible, we're all going to have to play along. Potter, if you can just tell the press you support your friend in her decisions and that you were indeed aware of their relationship, that would be great. Ginny, I think for you our best shot is to play the: 'I knew all about it and wanted to help my friends out, why do you think I wanted my henparty to be in Vegas so badly?' Spin that story to your friends, too."
Ginny nodded. "That might actually work, if we find a good enough reason for them to marry so suddenly and secretly."
Blaise opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again when he realized he didn't have the slightest clue as to how to answer that.
"I might have an idea," Hermione said, eyeing Draco warily. "I remember some parts of our conversation, last night, and you mentioned something about being bethroted?"
He looked displeased at having to share the information with everyone, but he couldn't deny it was their best chance at salvageing this mess.
"That could work, yes," he said. "My father bethroted me to Astoria Greengrass before being sent to Azkaban. The only way to annul such a contract is by being already married."
Blaise nodded enthusiastically. "Perfect! You will give an interview to the Prophet and tell them you were already in a relationship, and that this was the only way to make sure you could stay together. Add in something like 'we never planned to marry this young, but in the end, when we marry doesn't really matter, as long as we get to spend our lives together' with a lovesick look in your eyes, and I'm sure they'll fall for it hook, line and sinker!"
"Blaise, why the fuck do you sound so happy about all this?" Theodore said, voicing what everyone was thinking.
"Yeah, sorry," Blaise answered. "I'm just really good at this sort of thing." He beamed, looking so proud of himself Hermione could hex him.
Draco leant forward and slapped Blaise on the back of the head. "Could you please remember that this is actually a tragedy for me?"
"Except that it isn't, now, is it?" Harry remarked shrewdly. "I mean, it's awfully convenient that you were looking for a way out of your bethrotal, and that Hermione got drunk enough to agree to your stupid plan."
A beat of tense silence filled the room.
"I can assure you that, if I had this idea in my right mind, I would have picked literaly anyone over your Golden princess here. Moreover, I seem to remember it as being Granger's idea."
Everyone's gaze turned to Hermione, and she sat there with her mouth hanging open like a fish caught out of water.
"Funny how alcohol can distort memories, isn't it?" she managed to say, nervously.
Blaise shot her an unimpressed look. "First things first. You," he said, pointing at Hermione. "Are going to have to learn how to be a better liar."
"Hermione can lie when she has to, don't worry about that," Harry said. "Remember how she lured Umbridge into the Forbidden Forest?"
"Oh, I do remember that," Theo said. "Draco spent at least a week ranting about what a very Slytherin tactic that was."
"I did not!" Draco protested.
Both Blaise and Theo shot him an unimpressed look.
"Blaise," Ginny said. "What do we do next?"
"Right, stay focused. Granger and Draco, you have to be seen leaving together from the hotel. Preferably acting all lovey-dovey. Potter, if you could be there too to say goodbye, and act cordial with Draco, that'd be great. I'll act as if Granger and I are practically best friends, and Ginny will be all chummy towards Draco. Once we're back in England, our married couple here will have to give an interview," he ignored Hermione's deep sigh. "And that is the tricky part. Because you can bet that those reporters will do everything in their power to find some negative thing to exploit, so you are going to have to be convincing. Let's practice!" He exclaimed.
"Shouldn't we figure out what we're going to say first?" Hermione asked.
"Nope," Blaise said. "Improvise."
"But—" Hermione objected only to be silenced by Ginny, who forcefully moved her to sit on the bed. Blaise did the same with Draco, so the married couple ended up sitting side by side in front of their friends.
"Ok, now try to imagine you're hopelessly in love," Blaise said, only to be met by the scoffs of Draco and Hermione. "Come on guys, work with me here. Draco, put your arm around Granger's shoulders."
Draco complied, albeit reluctantly.
"Granger, lean into him. And for the love of Merlin, smile, both of you!"
The result was one of the most forced and uncomfortable sights Blaise had ever witnessed, and he groaned in frustration. "How the fuck am I supposed to work with this?" he cried out. "I can't do this, it's hopeless!"
"No, no it isn't," Theo said. "Yesterday, before disappearing to get married, they spent hours conversing drunkenly at our table, didn't you see them? Because I remember thinking that they actually had rather impressive chemistry and they seemed to be able to hold an interesting conversation without insulting each other. If you could do it last night, you can do it again."
"What exactly are you suggesting, Theo?" Draco drawled. "That we get smashed everytime we go out in public? I'm pretty sure the journalists might notice that."
Theodore rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. All I'm saying is that you can do it if you actually want to! Just try to forget everything you know about each other, and focus on what you were thinking last night."
"That sounds a lot like what Malfoy suggested to me," Hermione muttered, her cheeks red.
"Come on guys, we're actually doing this for your sakes!" Blaise cried out.
Hermione took a deep breath before nodding. "Very well. Let's try."
Draco groaned in annoyance, but succombed to the glares of his friends. "Fine."
"Just ask us a question," Hermione told Blaise.
"Mr and Mrs Malfoy," Blaise said, taking on a ridiculously high voice. "Allow me to ask what everyone is wondering: how did you go from schoolyard enemies to hopelessly in love and even married? Surely there must be a delightful story of forbidden love behind all this."
Blaise was acting so dramatically it was impossible to take him seriously, and while Harry, Ron, Ginny and Theo had a hard time hiding their chuckles, the bride and groom looked murderous.
"I'm going to hit him," Hermione muttered.
"I'll hold him down," Malfoy said, rolling up his sleeves.
Harry abruptly stopped laughing and stared at them in awe. "Did you two just... agree on something and choose to work together out of your own free will?"
This only caused the rest to laugh harder and Hermione and Draco to become angrier.
"I'm glad you all find this so funny," Hermione bit out, glaring at her so-called best friends. "It's only the worst thing that could have possibly happened to me at this time."
"The worst thing?" Draco said loudly. "You should praise yourself lucky you managed to trick a Malfoy into marrying you!"
Blaise burried his head into his hands with a pained sigh. "What an idiot," he muttered.
Harry and Ron couldn't help but agree, and hurried towards the door, dragging the others with them.
"Let's get out of here while we still can," Harry whispered. "You do not want to be caught in Hermione's crossfire."
The Slytherins didn't need to be told twice, and with a little push from Harry, Ginny followed them all out. As soon as the door closed, an explosion of sound could be heard from the room.
Theodore was listening at the door. "Did Granger just hex him? I think I might actually get along with her."
"I doubt Hermione would ever want to spend any time with the likes of you," Ron said.
"She won't have much of a choice if she wants to convince the world this marriage is real. Just like we will have to spend time with Malfoy," Ginny said, ever the voice of reason.
Harry snorted. "They can't even spend more than ten minutes in a room without trying to kill eachother. No one will be convinced."
"I don't know," Blaise said, shrugging. "We could say that they fight like a married coupe already."
Then they heard a loud yelp of pain followed by a myriad of expletives coming from inside, and looked at one another uncomfortably.
"Should we go make sure they don't kill each other?" Ginny asked hesitantly.
"Hell no," Harry said. "Hermione is without a doubt a better duelist than Malfoy, and if he does die all our problems are solved."
"Draco might be my friend," Theo said. "But there is no way in hell I would risk enduring Granger's wrath for his idiocy."
"Yeah," Blaise agreed. "Maybe this will teach him to watch his mouth."
Harry directed a calculating stare at the Slytherins. "You guys are not as bad as I thought. Maybe we could manage to get along, and sort out Hermione and Malfoy's mess."
"Now you're talking, Potter," Blaise said joyfully before shaking Harry's hand.
"Although you might want to stop reffering to Draco as Malfoy, considering that your best friend now shares his name," said Theo.
Everyone shuddered at that.
"Bloody hell," Ron voiced what everyone was thinking. "That's just wrong."
As it turned out, no one got killed that day, although the hotel-room suffered irreparable damage.
It was, however, the general concensus that they wouldn't rehearse anymore, and instead hope they would nail it on the first try tomorrow. Hermione and Draco would have little choice but to behave once surrounded by the press and other curious observers, right?
Still, it was with great anxiety that they all woke up the next morning. They had agreed to go down to breakfast as a group, make sure they were seen by everyone, before leaving the hotel where the newly-wed couple would say goodbye to their friends before portkeying to their honeymoon.
Of course, said honeymoon was actually Grimmauld Place, from where they would both head to their own homes and just make sure not to be seen in public for the following two weeks. These two weeks would be used to figure out what story they would tell the press, and practicing the interview, as some practice was obviously still required. But other than that, Hermione was looking forward to two weeks where she didn't have to see her husband any more than necessary, considering that after that it was time to go to Hogwarts and they would have to keep up the charade.
During breakfast, thanks to a little manoeuvring from their friends, Draco and Hermione sat next to each other and after a painful kick in the shin from Theo, Malfoy put his arm on the back of Hermione's chair.
They both managed to hide their discomfort, and after a cup of coffee and a very animated conversation between their friends, Hermione even forgot how odd this situation was and relaxed a bit, laughing at the banter between Harry, Ginny and Blaise.
When they walked to the entrance hall of the hotel, the only place from where they could Portkey, Blaise hissed: "Hold hands," and they complied, albeit reluctantly.
It had been good advice, though, because as soon as they walked through the door they were surrounded by journalists and fotographers, shouting question after question.
The hotel-security intervened, making sure that their guests weren't crushed by the press, and after a quick hug from her friends and an encouraging nod from Blaise and Theo, Hermione took out their Portkey, still carefully wrapped in a piece of cloth. She giggled when she saw Ginny wrapping Draco in a hug and Draco's panicked expression.
All the goodbyes were said, then, and they had nothing left to do but touch the Portkey. To Hermione's shock, Draco wrapped his arm around her and dragged her closer to his body, before whispering in her ear.
"Smile, Mrs Malfoy. Make them believe we're actually going on our honeymoon."
And smile she did, although those paying close attention might have noticed that it was more of a hysterical kind of smile. She never thought she'd feel relief at the nauseating feeling of portkeying away, but there's a first time for everything, apparently. If anything had proven that, it most certainly was this little holiday in Vegas.
Many thanks for your reviews!