"Brittany." An eerily quiet pause, followed up with a less quiet sigh. "Brittany, get up now."
Said blonde girl stirs groggily as she releases a long, winded breath against her heated arms that she was using as a temporary pillow. Her barely audible groan is smothered by the cool kitchen counter as her mother repeats her name louder and with more authority than she originally did, signalling that she was deadly serious. Brittany lifts her head up from the table to meet the disapproving look in her mother's eyes. The eyes narrow as her daughter slumps back down against the kitchen counter tiredly and waves her hand in apparent dismissal. Her mother's eyes narrow dangerously as she walks over to Brittany's side of the kitchen island, moving past her daughter and opening the fridge behind her.
No one was worth leaving the warm embrace of a much needed sleep. Not her mother, not Paul, not even Lord Tubbington. Speaking of which, she felt the ball of fuzz circle her stool and wrap his long tail around her legs. A concerned meow sounded in her ears.
Great, now even the cat knows she's upset.
She doesn't know why, but no matter how hard she tried she could never fall asleep when she really needed to. Even though she was dead tired, her thoughts just wouldn't let her rest.
She hears her mother sigh deeply, and she can just imagine her mother pinching the bridge of her nose in exasperation. The image causes Brittany's lips to quirk up bemusedly. The faint smile quickly disappears when she hears the familiar clacking of Paul's expensive shoes against the kitchen's tiled floor that her mother insist that she mop regularly.
The loud screeching of a kitchen stool, shortly accompanied by the loud sound of an apple being bitten and chewed loudly causes her to wince and adjust her arms so that they were covering her arms.
"Wouldn't you be more comfortable in your bed?" She hears Paul ask obliviously. "That can't be good for your back."
"Don't bother," She hears her mom interject snidely along with a few papers shuffling and the closing of her leather briefcase. "I have been trying to get her to talk, move, do anything for the past half hour! So fine. If she wants to spend her day slumped over the counter like her drunk Uncle Murray, I won't disturb her. For her sake I hope all that slouching doesn't affect her dancing technique. We're going to have to start calling her 'Quasimodo'."
At that Brittany starts to wonder what Santana would look like dressed as a gypsy. She'd probably own it, or make it the latest fashion trend, or something. Oh yeah, she would make one helluva sexy gypsy.
Meh, I shouldn't try to form coherent thoughts this early in the morning.
"She's been like this for the past two weeks." In the back of her mind Brittany notes that her mother seemed awfully bothered for someone who no longer cared. "I think it's time that we call that doctor that we were discussing a while back. What's his name?" Her mom then continues snap loudly as if it would magically summon the memory.
"Doctor-"
"I am not going to see a stupid shrink!" Brittany growls, annoyed, as her head slowly rises. She blinks a few times to get used to the onslaught of light illuminating the kitchen. Damn, she would kill for a pair of sunglasses... and a coffee.
"What has gotten into you?" Her mother says exasperatedly as she shakes her head back and forth slowly. If Brittany didn't know any better, she'd say that her mother legitimately cared for her well being."You said that things were getting better at McKinley. Did something happen with the new friends you made? You were over at that Rachel girl's house just yesterday after school and the Friday before, and those were the only times I saw you make any effort to move!"
The past two weeks have had Rachel in a nervous wreck. Brittany on the other hand doesn't understand why Rachel's worrying so much. Rachel keeps telling her that Quinn Fabray takes revenge very seriously and often went to great extents to get her way. But so far Quinn hasn't shown any sign of making an attempt at destroying Rachel's not-so secret club. And even then, it's not like everyone would leave the club because they're embarrassed... Right? What's so weird about signing and dancing in perfect sync in Rachel's basement?
Everything.
"What happened to dancing? I thought you said that you were taking it up again?"
God damn it, Paul... Way to bring that up again.
She loves dancing. It makes her heart flutter and dissolves all the unnecessary weighing her down, but now she can't get anywhere near that dance studio without remembering Santana, her hair, her smile, her dark skin reflecting beautifully under the dim lights, how her lips taste like cinnamon- Oh, and how she is deliberately going out of her way to avoid her. Can't forget that one.
That, amongst many other things, is what she can't understand, and refuses to leave her mind no matter how much she willed it to leave her in peace. It was obvious that Santana had made her decision, and that she should respect that. But a small nagging feeling in her gut couldn't stop her from wondering what made Santana feel the need to ignore her? She thought that they had came to an understanding after that moment they had. Is it possible that she missed something crucial in the Latina's body language. She's supposed to be a master at reading people, so why is it that this one girl has her stumped?
She's like a math problem... -Oh shit, do I have a math test on Monday- I'll study later- No, I probably won't- Yeah, I'm right – I'm craving bagels- Does the school cafeteria have bagels?
She knows that it's incredibly selfish to be mad at Santana. She's just came to a shell-shocking self-realization. It's not everyday that one finds out that they were secretly a unicorn all a long. It was simpler for her to just be a zombie. A very cute, stunningly beautiful zombie whose lips tasted like overpriced Italian food and cinnamon. Before, all that she had to do was what she was told, then receive all the praise for doing so, and now that Santana figured out her true unicorn she could never go back to acting like a plain ol' zombie-
Okay, now it's even hard for herself to follow her own thoughts. Damn, she really needs her head back in the proverbial game.
Anyways, she just thinks that Santana is being a little inconsiderate. There she said- thought it! Santana wasn't the only one who was confused here. Not only was there the whole, "BAM! This very hot girl who you thought hated you is actually a closeted lesbian and is crushing on you!" there was the also the newly discovered, "And you kinda like her back too..." Which was kind of a pain in the posterior. Not that she still hasn't forgiven her yet, it's just that it would've been nice to get through her senior year without that much drama.
Unlike Santana, she actually needs other people to help her get through personal drama. She would talk to the Glee Club, but from the few times she's met with them, she doesn't feel that they know all that much about relationship mending. So that leaves her skyping with Carlos or the twins at some ungodly hour of the night till they get tired of her blubbering and decide that sleep is more important.
"Brittany! Paul, she's starting to worry me." Her mother shouts in her ear, surprising her head to fall out of her arms and her nose to smack into the counter top.
She feels a firm hand grasp her shoulder causing Brittany to snap out of her inner monologue and stare blankly at her mother.
"Actually I take it back." Brittany says as she hops off the stool. "I think that maybe getting some outside help would be a good idea." Brittany starts to walk back to her room but stops in her tracks. "As long as he's not one of those creepy guys that make you lie down on the couch. Those things remind me of that alien probing nightmare."
The two parents stand stalk-still as they watch the blonde teen bound up the stairs skipping two at a time, their mouths open in shock.
"So..." Paul says, interrupting the eery science that filled the room. "Do you want me to call him?"
The older blonde woman shook her head in awe at Brittany's stool.
"Let me talk to her first once I get back from my meeting. Hell if some random stranger knows more about my daughter than I do. I swear, that girl is hot one moment then cool the next."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
"Hello, my name is Santana Lopez and I am... confused."
"Hello."
"Hi."
"Hey, Santana."
The Latina looks uncertainly around the room at the different people sitting in the obnoxious, orange chairs all facing each other in a circle. She takes a shaky breath and plays with her fingers as she casts a sideways glance at the older man next to her with a calming appearance.
He was holding a clipboard in his hand and he only looks up from it to give her a comforting smile and motioning for her to continue. His ugly, grey sweater looked so uncomfortable that it made Santana subconsciously scratch her neck in discomfort. She wouldn't be surprised if this man shopped wherever Berry did.
"Why don't you start from the beginning?" A twenty-something year old woman with long blue dyed hair, black leather jacket, and spiral tattoos spilling out the top of her white tank top suggested nonchalantly as she slumped further into her chair and crossed her arms. "That's where most people start."
The part condescending and part husky tone that she used caused Santana to unleash one of her famous Lopez glares. The woman's eyebrow quirked bemusedly, as if daring the Latina to say something. Regretfully, Santana is the first to look away, leaving her feeling as if she lost just a little bit more of her credibility.
"I have this friend- Um, well maybe a friend isn't the right word in this situation." She laughs awkwardly to herself as her eyes become trained to the floor. "But she's definitely something."
She sees some of the few people in the room nod their heads sympathetically, as if they know how she feels. No one knows how she feels.
"I came here because I am all out of ideas, and I'm also at the end of my rope. It's not a nice feeling and I want my life back. I would kill not to be here right now." She said as she crossed her arms and sneered at the handful of people in the room. I want to be hanging out with friends, finding an outfit for Karofsky's party, texting some college guy that gave me his number at BreadStix yesterday that I should find hot. But no! I'm stuck in a creepy room that reminds me of a mental ward, talking with some socially awkward people who I wouldn't be caught dead with in public."
"Sorry, I go to the yelling place a lot. I have rage." She added, not sounding sorry at all.
She bites down on her tongue hard and finds herself looking at the ceiling fan above her, refusing to make eye contact with anyone in the room.
"There are ways you know," A low booming voice comes from the bearded man with the clipboard. "To talk with us civilly since nothing leaves this circle."
"Carleton's right." A boy a few years older than her piped up. His voice was almost as high as that Kurt kid but not quite."There aren't many places in Lima that talks about stuff like this. We're all lucky to be her since this is a sacred place where we can be ourselves without judgement."
She laughs and mistakenly locks eyes with Carleton. His eyes reflect the hideous florescent lights causing them to gleam, his should-be ordinary grey eyes glinting mysteriously. The two of them stare each other down until Santana frowns and looks away.
"This is who I really am." She mumbles to herself as she sits back down in her chair.
"If you say so." The Carleton replies with a nod, not wanting to push the girl any further. "Okay, why don't you start off with telling us a little about how you got to this point."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Brittany, talk to me." Her mother said as she sat next to her on the bed. "We never talk."
"And who's fault is that?" Brittany grumbled as she got up from her spot on the bed and moved around the bed till she was facing her mother. "You never want to talk to me."
"I'd talk with you if you were a little more mature about things." Her mother replied, sounding very offended. You always ramble, you constantly ignore your chores, and you ignore school as if it's some annoying thing that will eventually go away-"
"Please, mom, just go. Come back up when you know when I'm going to see that doctor guy."
She crossed her arms across her chest and stared blankly at her shocked looking mother. She watched the older blonde woman blink vacantly a few times until she got up slowly from her daughter's bed, and left without another word.
Brittany let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding once she heard the door click firmly behind her.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Well... I'd like to start by saying that your story is not as rare as you may think it is. People have came and left the circle and I can confidently say that they left with more self-awareness than they originally had." Carleton said clicking his pen a few times before jotting something down on his stupid clipboard. "Unfortunately, I cannot focus all of my attention on anyone person, and even if I did it wouldn't resolve your situation in a day or two."
Santana grumbled angrily to herself, the gum stuck on the floor suddenly became very interesting. She didn't know what she expected when she came here. Maybe a little resolution. But all she did was tell a room full of gays and dykes about her romantic life.
"Why don't we all take a five minute break, then we'll just sit and chat for the rest of the time we have." Carleton said as he got up from his chair and straightened his ugly-ass sweater.
The six people in the room sighed, thankful for a chance to get up and stretch their legs, they got up from their chairs and headed towards the back of the room where an old coffee machine sat along with a few snacks and a couch that looked like it was dragged from the 60s.
Santana started to head over to Carleton to explain that maybe this social circle wasn't exactly what she thought it was.
"Carleton!" The boy that spoke up earlier jumped in front of her path and clapped his hands joyfully. "You would never guess what happened on campus today..."
Santana sneered and backed away, deciding to talk to the old man at the end of the meeting.
The Latina strode over to the table and fiddled around with the coffee machine, struggling to figure out how it worked. The buttons were sticky, the pot had a large crack in it, and she found herself gritting her teeth as she found herself with little coffee to brew. After a few minutes Santana found herself growling angrily in Spanich and pounding on the top of the machine.
"Easy, chica." The woman that had spoken earlier appeared beside her with a smug smile. Santana decided that she looked way to layed back to be here. Almost everyone here, including her seemed so tightly wound it was as if this room were a ticking time bomb and the only detonator was attention. "What has the poor machine ever done to you?"
Santana bit her lip as she clenched her fist angrily.
It made my day more worse.
"It's broken anyways." Santana shrugged, moving her hand over towards the basket of cookies. "This stupid group is a waste-"
"Uh-uh." The woman smirked and dragged the basket out of her reach. "You can break a tooth on one of those."
To prove her point the woman grabbed one of the chocolate chip cookies and knocked it against the table, a loud thud filling the room.
"Whatever, I wasn't hungry anyways."
At that, she could feel her stomach grumble lowly, but loud enough for the short haired woman to hear.
"You sure about that?" The woman said with a quirked eyebrow that seemed so much like the one that Quinn used.
Santana bit her tongue and turned back to the coffee machine, pretending to mash a few buttons around until the blue haired woman left. Luck apparently was not on her side today.
"My dad says that the more hungry you are, the more calories you use." Santana muttered, her eyes flitting towards the clock on the wall. She really hoped no one broke into her car.
"That's too bad," The woman said with a toothy grin, reaching into her inner jacket pocket and pulling out a clear bag of Doritos. "I guess I shouldn't interrupt your diet..." She trailed off with a teasing glint in her eye.
Santana sighed as she bit the inside of her cheek. Was this chick trying to seduce her with cheesy chips?
But I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday...
"Fine," Santana said walking towards one of the rooms corner where she left her purse, the woman shortly behind her. "But this doesn't mean I owe you anything."
The woman said nothing, she just chuckled lowly and lent against the wall, tossing the bag at Santana who caught it with ease.
"I gotta say, Santana. Your case brought tears to my eyes..." She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She brought one to her lips, a purple lighter in the other hand. Santana heard the faint clink, followed by the overpowering scent of smoke. "Tears of boredom."
Santana snorted and rolled her eyes before she grabbed a Doritos and licked most of the cheese off one side. So what? She had weird eating rituals.
She looked at the woman curiously. Her low, rumbling voice was familiar, but different at the same time. And even though her appearance didn't say such, she held herself with poise which was bizarre. Her long blue hair wasn't a home job, she should know ever since the 'I wanna be a blonde' fiasco of 2009. The woman probably got it done at a hair salon. She wondered what would be the reaction of her mother and father if she came home with blue hair.
"Like what you see?" The woman said smugly, her lips quirking bemusedly.
"Do most girls like that lesbian bad-ass act?" Santana retorted, her tone laced with venom.
"I don't know, do they?"
"I'm not interested." Santana sneered. "I don't even know your name. Not that I would like you if I knew."
The woman's hazel eyes lightened visibly as she slumped back against the wall.
"It's Frannie."
0o0o0o0o000o0o0o0o0o0o0
"I just don't know what to do, Carlos... I thought that she liked me." Brittany muttered defeatedly. "This was probably her plan all along, make me pout after her like a love-sick puppy, embarrassing me for the rest of my life. I mean, really? This isn't me. I should be out there dancing my troubles away and preparing for college life, but, C, she has this weird spell on me and I can't not think about her-"
"Britt..."
"And it's not like I can't find another girl or guy, right? And all those websites said that you shouldn't date at the end of high school since it means goodbye-"
"Brittany, that doesn't mean-"
"Did you know yesterday my mom said that someone in her office knows someone on the Julliard selection board, and that he owed him some favours? I could get an audition! And I didn't even care-"
"Shut up!" A feminine voice snapped.
Brittany's eyes were drawn to the other side of the screen where Lisa and Lilly looked as if they had to sit through a two hour lecture on fractions or powers. Carlos was rubbing his eyes tiredly which caused Brittany to feel guilty.
"Look we're all really happy that you got out there in the fist place-"
"But romantic drama was bound to happen at some point. You can't just expect that things will miraculously become better the more you bitch about it-"
"Stop being mean to her, she's gone through a tough time-"
"The only way to build people up is to break them down-"
"Brittany I know that you think going to this therapist might be a good way to talk about your problems in a safe environment," Carlos spoke loudly as the twins disappeared off the screen squabbling with each other. "I don't think it's a great idea."
"Why not?"
"Britt..." Carlos looked around his room before turning back to the blonde. "You don't exactly play nice with authority figures."
"Right..." Brittany said to herself, rubbing the kink out of her neck. "But I just think it would be nice to get some outside help that's not you guys for a change."
"What about your new friend? Raquelle, or something-"
"It's Rachel."
"Well all I know is that she seems to be doing a fantabulous job of replacing me as your BFF." Carlos said flamboyantly with a teasing wink. "Maybe you should try trusting your new friends like you trust me, Lilly, and Lisa."
"Well she does have to gay dads..." Brittany thought out loud.
"Dayum! Is everyone in that ghost town gay?" Carlos asked incredulously. "Babe, you need to let me visit."
Brittany giggled.
"Thanks, Carlos. I'll think about talking to Rachel."
"Girl, you better not be saying goodbye without us!" Lola and Lilly suddenly come back into view.
Brittany rolled her eyes, but smiled none-the-less.
"Bye guys, I'll text you later."
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A/N: I got my computer fixed! Suck it, Future Shop! Best Buy rules! And yeah I missed you guys, did you miss me ;) As always reviews are appreciated XD