A Hound From Hell

"Honey are you sure you can handle this ?" Maria asked.

Matt rolled his eyes at his girlfriend. She was getting all worried about nothing. She had a photo shoot to go to and needed somebody to watch her poodle Mr. Kettles. Matt had volunteered himself for the job, but for some reason, she seemed strangely reluctant to let him do it. "I'm sure baby," he assured her for the hundredth time.

"Alright," she finally said. She bent down and patted Mr. Kettles on the head. "You be a good puppy for Daddy," she told him. "Mommy will be back as soon as she can."

Matt waved goodbye to her. "Alright Mr. Kettles, lets--hey, stop eating my Pop Tart!" He went to move the dog away from his precious cherry pastry. But Mr. Kettles had other plans. He let out a demon like growl and snapped at Matt. Matt jumped back just in time. This was not the sweet little Mr. Kettles Maria had described to him. "Okay, lets just calm down," he said. "How about I give you a piece of the Pop Tart? How would you like that."

It turned out that Mr. Kettles did not like that at all. He started barking like a crazy demon monster thing and sent Matt running behind the couch for safety.

"Hello?" Shawn said as he came in the room. The Showstopper was clad in full DX gear. "Anybody home? Oh look, a Pop Tart!"

"Shawn no!" Matt tried to warn his friend.

It was too late. Mr. Kettles saw what Shawn was going for and freaked out. He sank his teeth into the Heartbreak Kid's leg. "GET IT OFF!" Shawn screamed. He started thrashing around wildly. "GET THIS CRAZY THING OFF OF ME!"

Matt got out of his hiding space and tried to get Mr. Kettles off of Shawn. But Mr. Kettles had other ideas. No matter how hard Matt pulled, Mr. Kettles would not let go of the death grip he had on Shawn's leg.

"JUST KILL IT!" Shawn screamed. "KILL THIS CRAZY THING!"

"I can't kill it!" Matt explained. "It's Maria's dog."

"I DON'T CARE IF IT'S VINCE MCMAHON'S SECRET LOVER! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL IT AND YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT RIGHT NOW!"

Mr. Kettles finally let go of Shawn and bit Matt's finger. Matt cursed loudly and aimed a kick at the crazy dog. But Mr. Kettles moved at the last second and he ended up kicking Shawn in the groin. "Oh shit," he muttered. He grabbed Shawn, who was now in the fetal position and dragged him towards the door. It was time to come up with a plan.

XXX

"What's it doing now?" Shawn asked when he finally recovered from the shot to his testicles.

"It ate my Pop Tart," Matt grumbled. He was glaring daggers at the small dog. "And it peed on the floor."

"Bastard," Shawn said with a sigh. "So what do we do now?"

"Well, I've thought about it long and hard, and there's only one solution."

"We kill the dog?"

Matt paused. "Okay, there's two solutions. But the one I'M talking about is an exorcism."

Shawn looked at Matt like he was crazy. "An exorcism? Are you serious? Who the hell do we know is capable of doing something like that."

"I was hoping you would know how to do it."

Shawn smacked Matt for being an idiot. Matt punched Shawn for smacking him. Soon the boys were wrestling around on the floor and didn't hear Jeff come in the room. "What the hell are you two doing?" he finally asked.

They looked up and saw that Jeff was actually holding Mr. Kettles. And what was even more surprising was that Mr. Kettles wasn't growling. Hell, he was actually licking Jeff's face.

"How did you do that?" Matt asked in amazement.

Jeff shrugged. "I don't know. He's liked me ever since I started sharing my Pop Tarts with him." He started to laugh. "You should see how he gets when somebody tried to take them away from him. He gets all crazy and…guys? Where are you going? Well Jesus, you don't have to leave. I--eww, what smells like piss in here? Come on Mr. Kettles, let's get out of here so I can introduce you to the wonderful world of Skittles."