Chapter 20.2
Misaki dried her tears in the elevator grateful no one else was using it at this time at night. She put on her brave face and internally resolved to give no outward appearance that she had just left her apartment as a result of a heated argument. If she encountered any other tenants or staff, she was sure an emotional Misaki would stir up gossip. Tora may just be a middle manager, but people took interest in him because of his last name and they seemed to take interest in her because the two were often seen around each other. At least here in her complex. It was impossible to be completely discrete about their relationship here at home since they did share a one bedroom apartment.
Misaki waited until she got out of the apartment complex before fishing her cell phone out of her purse. She started to dial her mother's number but hung up before the call went through. Her mother would already be asleep. It was past midnight. As she considered it, most everyone she knew would already be asleep. She thought of going to a hotel, but she didn't want to be alone. She wanted privacy, but she also wanted to have a shoulder nearby to cry on if she found she needed one. She didn't know exactly what the pages in her hand would contain and she needed to plan for various possibilities.
She realized that Takumi would still be awake. He had been at the same dinner party and he had to collect his car from the tow yard. Should she ask if she could stay at his apartment? On the one hand, she didn't feel she knew him very well. They had only reconnected a few days ago. On the other hand, she'd been told that they had once been very close and Takumi's actions seemed to support this information. It was also likely that this journal addressed events that would have occurred during the time of their relationship. He might be able to shed some light on her journal entries, if need be, or at least offer another perspective. Besides, he had insisted that she come speak to him before he returned to England. If she visited him tonight, he wouldn't try to reschedule his travel plans. And his apartment had a couch that looked like perfectly adequate accommodations for the evening. In reviewing the pros and cons, she decided it was worth asking if she could stay over at his place for the evening.
She dialed his number hoping he hadn't already gone to bed. The phone only rang once before he answered. "Misaki!" Takumi answered in a cheerful voice.
"Hi. I ummm…. I was wondering if that offer to get together tonight was still on the table," Misaki started. This was so awkward. How exactly is one supposed to invite oneself to be a house guest without any notice? It didn't seem to make it any easier since she was making such a request to a celebrity that she didn't really know terribly well. Maybe she was making a mistake. But it was a little late. She had him on the phone. She could go over for the hour, hear whatever he wanted to say, and then she'd consider explaining her situation to him if the mood seemed right. If, after an hour or so, she felt she was intruding, or if she was in a better place mentally, she could still go to a hotel.
"Absolutely!" Takumi responded. "I'm really glad you were able to fit me in."
Misaki smiled. Thank goodness she hadn't woken him up. "I'll catch a cab and should be there in about 20 minutes." Traffic at midnight was light. She should make good time.
Takumi was silent for a minute. "I know a driver that lives pretty close to you. I'll call him right now and have him pick you up. Look for a black limousine that should pull up in front of your building in about 5 minutes. If I can't reach him, or he can't make it, I'll call you right back."
Misaki was about to object, but before she had a chance, the phone went dead. He'd hung up on her!
Misaki took stock of her situation. She had left her apartment without a coat, a change of clothes, her toiletries, and she was wearing an evening gown and heels. How stupid did she have to be. She'd left her apartment in a huff of emotion and while she had started to calm down, she couldn't bring herself to return just yet. But she was totally unprepared. Maybe Takumi kept some of those unisex one size fits all pajamas at his apartment just like he did on his jet? That would be a start. Maybe she could find a convenient store still open somewhere. She'd check her phone for open stores near Takumi's place once she had a chance to set her things down. As Misaki was absorbed in her thoughts, a gentleman in a uniform approached her and asked her if she was Ms. Misaki Ayuzawa. She confirmed her identity and found that this was the driver a Takumi had hired.
Misaki thanked the driver for meeting her so late in the evening. He smiled and said he would happily accommodate any request from Mr. Walker. He further informed her that he been asked to waiting outside Takumi's apartment in order to bring her home once she was ready. Misaki blushed. She wasn't going home tonight. She wasn't sure where she would be going.
"You know that won't be necessary. It's quite late and I'm sure you need to rest. I have no idea how long I'll be staying so I'll just plan on taking a cab." Misaki was doing her best to sound normal but now that she was in the comfort of the limousine and she was hidden from public view the emotions she had been hiding were trying to escape in the form of more tears. The driver was an empathetic man and could see she was in distress. Eventually he coaxed out of her that she had just left her apartment without any overnight supplies because of an argument with her boyfriend and was not sure where she would be staying tonight. All that she was sure of was that she would not be going back at home this evening. The driver told her not to worry. If she made him a list of everything she needed, he would procure the items while she met with Mr. Walker and he would also investigate hotel option available for the evening.
Misaki felt a sense of relief. It wasn't that such tasks were difficult, but tonight she felt she would prefer to spend her energy focused on other things. It was nice to have someone offering her support and understanding. It was comforting.
They pulled up to Takumi's apartment and the kind driver gave her an encouraging smile as she again dried her tears and exited the car. "Mr. Walker mentioned you are one of his oldest and dearest friends," he said as he helped her get out. "I understand it is hard to have a fight with your loved ones, but you must know that Mr. Walker is an excellent confident and I am sure you will feel better after you confide in him."
Misaki smiled a little. She still had not decided if she would mention the events of her evening to Takumi, but if this kindly gentleman had thought it would help, maybe she should.
Misaki didn't even need to knock when she got to his apartment. He'd left the door open and was sitting on the couch staring at the elevator waiting for her arrival. He jumped up and ran over to greet her as the elevator doors opened. It reminded Misaki a little of a puppy waiting for its owner to return from work. Poor Takumi. His life must be so lonely. As she thought about it, he had been a bit clingy these past few days.
"Misaki," he said smiling, "I'm so glad you could come by tonight. Tora didn't mind?" Misaki's face twisted in a bit of pain at the mention of Tora's name and a Takumi took note of Misaki's red eyes. She'd been crying. He frowned and led her to the couch. "I'm going to make you some coco. You just sit here and relax. I'll be right back." Takumi noticed as he turned toward the kitchen that Misaki had set a large book on the coffee table after sitting down. He couldn't be sure, but that book looked familiar. It looked like a journal that he used to catch her writing in. She used to try to hide it from him but she'd had it for years. Naturally, he had, on occasion, walked into a room unexpectedly and found her quickly stuff it into a drawer or behind her back and bursting into a deep blush. It was the blush that had made the impression in his mind. He'd put two and two together and determined it was her diary. The blush had convinced him that she had been writing about him. He'd always wished he could know what was in there, but would never violate her privacy. He figured that she'd show it to him after they'd been married a few years and they could relive their youth together. He had remembered being grateful she had the foresight to document their relationship because those years had been some of the happiest of his life. He'd never gotten a good look at that book, but the book on his coffee table was the same size, same color and appeared to be about the right age.
A few minutes later, Takumi returned to the couch with two cups of hot chocolate. He handed one to Misaki as he sat down beside her. She had remained silent while he was in the kitchen and her face now appeared emotionless. "So Misaki," Takumi began, "I asked you over tonight because I needed to tell you something about my life. Something personal… that… well... that I'm ashamed of. I needed to tell you about it because I think it got in the way of our destiny and I think that you went through a lot of pain thinking I didn't care about you when in reality I cared about you more than I could handle." He paused to gauge her reaction. She seemed a little bit vacant, like a piece of her was somewhere else. She didn't have the focus she normally had and he decided that even though he needed to open up to her he needed to first make her open up to him. Of course he knew Misaki. He knew that this was a feat easier said than done. Of course it would be best to let her decide when to confide in him, but he did need to return to England eventually and, with a Tora in her life, who knew if she could still see him in that role. He'd need to prod her.
"Misaki," he said gently, "I know it's none of my business, but you look like you've been crying. Did something happen after the dinner tonight."
Misaki looked down at her hands. She had called him because she wanted someone to cry on. Because she didn't want to be alone. Now here he was asking her to open up. But it was so hard. She had been so blind and to tell this to someone to explain why Tora's actions had hurt her so much… it was daunting. As she thought about it, the tears began falling in earnest. It was not a trickle, but it was gaping sobs. Her body shook and her nose ran. Takumi didn't say anything, he just took her in his arms and held her as she cried into his chest. She decided in that moment that she'd made the right choice. She felt like shit, but being held by someone, having them stroke your hair and tell you it was going to be okay… well... she still felt like shit but at least she no longer felt alone and that was something.