Chapter 7: where are my manors
Notes:
Thank you for the review Reddo-sama! I too love seeing Light suffer.
Summary:
Light and L get sorted by an official while making childish hand signs at each other. BB made a claim, surprise! L makes an even bigger claim - in a fight breaks out.
"Life's unpredictable patterns had a strange way of forming a connected web."
― D.A. Pupa, The Magician
…
…
Light, his father, L and Watari all entered room 523 simultaneously. The older gentlemen had been correct to say that the establishment they were in resembled a courtroom… however, its proceedings did not go at all as Light had expected.
Soichiro ushered them forward into the large empty room, towards the podium. There, on the podium - Light saw an impassive man sit; reading through some papers. Nobody else was in the room. The only thing he could hear in the silence were the shuffling of papers and quiet footsteps. Wood creaked - Watari had taken a seat in one of the front benches, Soichiro soon following suit. L shuffled to sit as well, however, Light held him by the arm to continue standing with him. He felt that L and Light were expected to continue to do so until the person of authority would address them. L didn't think so - he kicked the air in boredom. Light rolled his eyes and rolled his shoulders back. It took another 5 minutes of polite standing before the man looked up from his papers.
"You are Light Yagami and L Lawliet respectively, I presume? I must say it's not everyday we get twin arrivals. Welcome, let us get you situated shall we?" The man ruffled through a few more papers before coughing.
"Twin arrivals, you say… Pray tell more?" L perked up at this morsel of information. Light exhaled patiently.
The man raised a brow at L, "Yes, most people arrive individually, from different embryo's. You two came from the same."
"Embryo… the dark mass in the place of white?" L pressed further.
"The Weightless White." The man corrected.
"Are we brothers then… in this place?" L continued. Light made a noise of disgust at the insinuation. Watari smiled slightly; he thought Light would have made an interesting addition to the kids at Wammy's. Watari couldn't help but chuckle… oh how that would have gone.
The man held back a muffled chortle, "Oh gods, no. It's just what it's called. You are in no way related to the other, it is just a portal. It's just rare to have people use the same one, the embryo's are spaced extensively apart." The man waved his hand, trying to dismiss the train of conversation, "We are veering from proceedings, however. Let us get back on track."
"Of course." Light answered this time, trying to shut L up. L inquisitively peered at him, wondering why Light wouldn't like to know more. Light glared at him. An unsaid conversation ensued purely from their expressions.
Back off, L, you can find out more later. Light discreetly flicked his finger.
Not the same information you'll get from a person of authority. Have you no sense of curiosity? L motioned both his hands at the man, innocently.
Have you no sense of dignity? We are in a proceeding, not a lecture. Light grit his teeth and pointed at the podium.
Oh, I'm totally respectable. An inquiring mind doesn't diminish that, rather… accentuates it. L gave him bedroom eyes.
I swear to god, L. He just admitted you were deviating from protocol. Just shut up, and let me handle this. Light brushed his hair back and smiled his most disarming smile at the man at the podium - luckily the man was reviewing his papers again.
"Thank you for taking your time to our questions, sir. I greatly appreciate the effort, and we will be glad to take our questions to when they are more appropriate."
"It is of no problem at all, Light Yagami. It's quite the public knowledge. We've all experienced it, but I digress. Let us move on." The man motioned to L. L nibbled his thumbnail. "There's been a request put in by one that goes by the name of 'Beyond Birthday' for you to move in with him. It says here that mentioned he was meant to be your significant other and that you have had an intimate relationship with him. That you'd probably deny it at first, since you had a petty fight, but would forgive him and that moving in would be the next best move. It was his job to take care of you and your work had you died."
Light was shocked at the mouthful that was just said. What the hell? L's eyes had enlarged to the size of great discs, he too was appalled. The audience too held a surprised reaction. Watari palmed his mouth, while Soichiro didn't seem to enjoy hearing about L's 'love life'.
"...Beyond Birthday… I'm… sorry sir, I'm afraid I will have to reject the proposition." L murmured quietly.
"Oh is that so? He said you would say that, the offer will continue to be open if you decide to change your mind…"
"No, no, I think I will have to reject this completely and definitely. I have no such intention of… being such, and more so - I deny anything that he has stated. It is not all true. We are not at all as close as he describes… Further, I have someone else in mind if we are to discuss… living situations." L glanced at Light from the corner his eyes.
Light was flabbergasted. Double what the hell? Oh no, he couldn't mean… the 'deal'. No, no way. No way he was going to let L just get away with whatever the hell he wants to do. Light should have a choice as well, even if he did want or didn't want to live with the insufferable man. It didn't matter what he decided. However, at least then, it'd be by his own will! He wasn't about to let L take that away from him.
Deciding on his plan of action, Light began sweetly, "Yes, as a matter of fact... if that offer is still open, I would like to take it. Please let Beyond Birthday know that Light Yagami would like to take L's place in the offer." He gave pause, waiting for the man on the podium to take in this information. "I'm sure he would not disagree, as I too was tasked with taking care of L's work after he had died. We are in the same boat. I believe… we would be pleasantly acquainted. I promise I will be a very good roommate."
L growled lowly, unhappy at Light's unexpected move. Light continued beaming his patented cordial smile. Light was busy relishing L's surprised face. It was priceless. Frame-worthy, even.
L narrowed his eyes, trying to decipher Light intentions. What the hell are you planning, Light… His obsidian eyes bore full force on Light. Light embraced it with pride.
The man shuffled in his seat, flipping through what sounded like some more pages. No one could see what he was looking through. "I see…"He took a moment deliberating, "Well, fortunately, the request specifically states that he welcomes anything he is given… and I will count that as such. Your request is approved, Light Yagami."
L's eyes widened, "No!" He blurted out unexpectedly. The man on the podium startled. Light was smirking like crazy. He appreciated that surprised, genuinely lost face on L so much. God, that taste of victory. It was too good. L's glare intensified on Light for another second longer, before he turned to face the man on the podium.
"It is not approved by me! Sir. I must request you rethink this." L stated this in his commanding, timbre voice. Every now and then, L would glance at the smug serial killer to his right with a disapproving expression. Light shook his head, assured of his victory. There's nothing you can do to change this… L… Admit it. It's my win.
The man on the podium raised his brow, "In what authority do you request this, L Lawliet? I can only approve this if you give me sufficient evidence."
L sighed disapprovingly again, begrudging Light for pulling this stupid stunt. If he was going to do this, well - L wasn't going to pull any punches. L cleared his voice and coughed… Then, he began, "In truth, I will confess, it is not something I was going to say in front of Light Yagami's father, however, since the situation calls for it… I will have to say and hope this remains a secret between us all. I apologize beforehand, because I know you didn't intend to disappoint your father. I am outing us both. Sir, we are… together. Unless he intends to break his promise… I have every reason to request that Light Yagami stays with me."
…
…
…
The room was excruciatingly silent as every person in the room gawked at the frog that was L that just told everyone he and Light were gay. Very, very gay. Gay enough to live together. So gay that it made Soichiro Yagami think about every single time Light and L touched while in the Kira Taskforce in a whole new light. Every single fight that broke loose, every single hand on each other's shoulder. They only ever touched each other and nobody else. Blood rushed to both father and son's cheeks simultaneously. Immediately, all hell broke loose.
"L, you bast-"
"Light! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Dad! I'm-"
"Yes, father - I'm sorry we didn't tell you until now."
"Ryuuzaki, how dare you do this to my son!"
Light internally screamed. "Stop interrupting me!"
"I should have known, why didn't I realize this earlier!"
"Dad - it's not what you think!"
"Father, I believe it is about time we get to know each other better."
"Ryuuzaki, say one more thing-" Soichiro Yagami threateningly got up from his seat.
"Order, order!" The man on the podium stressed out. The gavel resounded twice before everyone re-organized themselves formally. Soichiro sat down and shook his head. Watari bemoaned the lack of popcorn. Light sighed and covered his face with his hand. L was joyfully smiling, index finger on his bottom lip.
After ascertaining no more fights were about to break out, the man on the podium spoke in a more dominant tone, no longer forgiving of random outbursts. "You will not speak out of line. We will discuss matters fairly and my decision will be final. Neither of you have declared interest in staying back at the outhouse for people that haven't arrived. Beyond Birthday has expressed interest in rooming with L Lawliet, which he refused because he wishes to room with Light Yagami. Light Yagami has expressed intent in rooming with Beyond Birthday, therefore it should be fair that all three of you live together. I repeat: this decision is final. If you have any more objections take it up with someone else. If you have any more questions, pester the library. I will be relaying this decision to the housing clerk, they will guide you on what to do next. Good day to you all."
The man on the podium banged his gavel twice more, and dismissed all of them out of the room.
"Good job, L." Light hissed sarcastically.
"Yes, I must say… I'm quite impressed with myself." L replied.
"I need an explanation for this… Light." Soichiro looked aged.
"You all can have a nice discussion later… perhaps, when we go out to eat some food." Watari was strangely in a good mood.
"We have to go to the housing clerk first." Light pressed, wanting to get some order in his life. It was a mess.
"You have no idea what you're getting into Light…" L shook his head, referring to Beyond Birthday, "You'll thank me later."
"I can take care of myself, thank you." Light huffed impatiently.
"Yes, but I can take care of you, better." L threw in unapologetically.
"Enough!" Soichiro didn't need to hear any of this.
"I hear breathing is a good exercise to calm the nerves." Watari hummed.
All of them groaned and tried to reach the housing clerk as calm as they could publicly muster. They navigated the hallways of the building until the reached an area with a few people in line. They were all waiting for their turn in what appeared to be several counters that stretched far into the long room. A sign above them that said Housing and Residential told them they were in the right place. An educational poster lined the walls saying 'Are you new here? Did you just get sorted? Well you're in the right place! Our clerks will guide you into an appropriate home.'
Watari and Soichiro sat down in some of the waiting benches while L and Light lined up miserably together in one of the shorter queues. The wait was unexpectedly short and the lined moved quickly. The two genii didn't have anything to say to the other, still steaming from the events in the courtroom. Although L was pleased with himself, he was mostly irritable that they were going to be housing with Beyond Birthday still. This was going to get chaotic, and he was trying to find a way out of it as soon as possible. Light was similarly stewing in potential plots to find independence from the whole situation… not to mention he still wasn't sure how to get around the whole 'deal' he made with L.
The housing clerk perked up from her desk and greeted the two genii pleasantly, "Welcome to the city! L Lawliet and Light Yagami, was it? Here are your keys to your apartment. I hope you enjoy the stay!" She handed them a brochure with directions around the city, some sort of pass ticket, and two silver antique looking keys. "Use the pass anytime you would like for the bus, and food. You'll have to trade it in later when you visit the Careers Office. Don't lose it!"
Careers office? What the hell? What is this place? Light furrowed his eyebrows, "Do we have to so immediately after this?" This was too much.
"Oh no, not at all. Feel free to visit the office whenever you would find convenient. Some people are perfectly content without ever going… though it does severely restrict access to things. I recommend visiting it, I myself would find it boring to have nothing to do. But people survive, sometimes they rely on people who've previously arrived. Whatever floats your boat."
"I see…." People… who didn't work? God. This place was as rotten as it was on earth. Light thanked the clerk who shouted for the next people in line. He moved out of the way quickly. No wonder the line had gone so fast.
Light's stomach growled embarrassingly. Food did sound nice. Watari's offer looked more pleasant by the minute… however, he dreaded the ensuing conversation explaining his mythical 'intimate relations' with L. Fuck.
Soichiro and Watari waved for them from the bench as soon as they were out of the queue and ushered them over.
"Let us be off." Watari smiled, "You both look tired, you'll get a chance to rest soon, I promise." The elderly gentleman bowed and lead them towards the exit of the building.
"...Yes, that would be nice, Wammy. Thank you."
"Thank you for… guiding us all the way here, Quillish, Dad."
"It's only right, son. I am your father after all…" Soichiro looked a little distant, most likely still thinking about his son's relationship with another man. "Let us speak more… at breakfast." They slowly walked out of the building, back into the the outside. It was misty still, and the floor west wet from rain and muddy slush of melted snow. The group headed towards a bus stop nearby in silence. The tapping of busy footsteps and the sound of cars were pleasant to hear… It looked just like an ordinary city.
That just made it all the more jarring because… the city was not normal. Nothing was, and Light didn't believe it ever would be again.
Welcome, to the city.
...
Endnotes:
sorry boys, it's an apartment (im so punny, kill me)