In touch with the feminine side

"Guys I should go soon," Hunter said regretfully. "Stephanie's been really mad at me lately."

Shawn frowned at his friend. "Mad at you? How can she be mad at you?"

"She says I spend all my time getting in trouble with you guys and I don't spend any time with her anymore."

Shawn, Matt and Jeff gave Hunter a sympathetic look. The four of them were sitting in the locker room playing Go Fish. No trouble had been started yet, but it was only noon, so they had plenty of time left in the day.

"You could always tell her we're cool and she's annoying," Jeff suggested. "That'll shut her up."

Hunter glared at him. "That will also guarantee that I'll never again for a few years so I'll have to veto that idea."

"You've knocked her up twice within the past couple of years! Maybe her uterus wants a break!"

Matt threw down his cards. "I can't deal with this. All Maria talked about yesterday was marriage and babies. I can't deal with it today too."

"You don't want to marry Maria?" Shawn asked.

"I don't want to marry anybody. Not for awhile anyway. Can we just drop the damn subject?"

"I want to have a baby," Jeff announced, completely ignoring Matt's plea. "Babies are fun."

"Your kids would be scary," Hunter said. "I don't think the world is ready for your spawn."

"What about your spawn? They're going to grow up to be sledgehammer wielding maniacs!"

Shawn's cell phone rang suddenly. "Someone answer that for me."

"Why?" Matt asked.

"It's going to be Rebecca and I don't want to talk to her. She's going to scold me."

"Why would she scold you?"

"Matt, would you just answer the damn phone? You'll find out soon enough!"

Hunter grabbed Shawn's phone and answered it since the older Hardy was too busy asking dumb questions. "Hello? King of Kings speaking."

"Hunter?" Rebecca said. She sounded pissed. "Put Shawn on the phone."

"Uh…I can't. He's afraid to talk to you."

"He better be. You want to know what he did last night?"

"Sure."

"The neighbors caught him running around in my favorite pair of high heels."

"WHAT?" Hunter yelled in shock. "Rebecca, hold on a second." He put down the phone. "Why would you wear your wife's high heels?"

"You did what?" Jeff said in disbelief.

Shawn turned a deep shade of red. "I was curious! I--I--they were just there and I thought they would fit and they did but I broke them and people saw me…"

Hunter got back on the phone with Rebecca. "Uh look, Rebecca, he's really sorry and really embarrassed. Maybe you should make like Jesus and forgive him for his cross dressing sins."

Rebecca was silent for a moment. "I didn't say what he did was a sin. I just wanted to know WHY he did it."

"Oh. Well that's easy to answer. He's a drag queen who's been living in denial all of these years."

"HUNTER!" Shawn shouted. He snatched the phone out of Hunter's hands. "GIVE ME THAT!"

Matt shook his head as Shawn left the room. "You are so mean," he told Hunter.

Hunter shrugged. "Hey I was just trying to get him to take the phone. What am I supposed to tell Rebecca, the truth? That high heels are kind of fun to try on?"

Matt raised his eyebrows. "And you would know that because?"

Hunter blushed. "Uh…no reason."

Jeff started to laugh. "Dude, you have so totally been trying on girl shoes." His eyes widened and he started jumping up and down like an idiot.

"Oh God, is he having a seizure," Shawn said. He had finally come back in the room.

"No, that's just how he looks when he gets a really crazy idea," Matt explained. "And judging from the amount of jumping he's doing, this one is really nuts."

XXXX

"I told you this one was really nuts," Matt said. He and Shawn were watching Jeff parade around in a pair of Beth's red high heels.

"I don't think this is nuts Matt," Hunter said. He was putting on a pair of Stephanie's high heels.

Matt rolled his eyes. "Why are you three so into your girlfriend's shoes thing? This is not normal!"

"Name one thing we do that is normal," said Shawn.

"Well I can't but that doesn't change the point I'm trying to make."

"Oh lighten up Matt," Jeff said cheerfully. He started dancing around the room. "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…"

At that moment the door opened and Edge walked in. The Rated R Superstar saw Jeff and Hunter and stopped in his tracks. "Uh…can someone try to explain to me what in the HELL those two are doing?"

Matt shrugged helplessly. "There's no explaining Jeff and Hunter. They're unexplainable."

"Well they better get explainable really quick because Beth and Stephanie are going to be here any second."

Hunter looked horrified. "Oh shit!" He quickly tried to take the shoes off but fell over, knocking down Jeff too. Beth and Stephanie walked in at that moment. They stared at their boyfriends for a long time, their mouths dropped in shock. Finally Stephanie broke the silence.

"Hunter this is getting ridiculous. If you want to wear my shoes so bad you can just ask."