Fun with a drunk

Shawn watched the scene in front of him with awe, pity and shock. "How long has he been doing that?"

"About fifteen minutes," Hunter answered. He was videotaping the entire thing. "Before this he was treating us to his rendition of "The Greatest Love of All". I about killed myself."

Jeff was grinning like an idiot. "This is great. Now I'll always have something to hold over him."

The three of them kept their eyes on Matt. The older Hardy had gotten insanely drunk on tequila and was making an ass out of himself. At the moment he was dancing on a table, bumping and grinding like a stripper.

Santino Marella was also there and he decided to put his two cents in. "He looks like the love child of Stone Cold Steve Austin and Snoopy the Dog."

Shawn frowned. He wasn't sure how the Italian came up with that strange conclusion. Matt had a lot of skin showing at the moment and it was as white as it could get.

"Santino, it's Snoop Dog, not Snoopy the Dog," Hunter tried to explain.

Jeff held up his hand. He had a mischievous look in his eyes. "Now hold on a second Hunter. Don't correct the man. He could have meant the Snoopy that actually is a dog."

Santino frowned. "There's a real dog named Snoopy?"

Jeff nodded. "Yeah. And his owner Charlie Brown was hitting on your girlfriend earlier today."

"What? He dared to try to take my Beth Phoenix away from me. Tell me, Jeff Hardy, where is this Charlie Brown? I want to open a can of ass whip on him!"

"Room 306. You better hurry though; I heard he wanted to show her his "Great Pumpkin", if you know what I mean."

Shawn laughed as Santino stormed away. "That guy is so dumb. I love it."

"Who's room did you really send him to?" Hunter asked.

Jeff had the biggest grin on his face. "The Undertaker's."

Shawn and Hunter's jaws dropped. The Undertaker was in an especially foul mood today. The thought of Santino pounding on his door and demanding to know where Charlie Brown was made them laugh like crazy.

"YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY RIGHT ROUND LIKE A RECORD BABY!" Matt sang at the top of his lungs. He was spinning and swinging his arms around.

Jeff giggled. "He is so wasted."

"He is," Hunter agreed. "You know, we could probably have some fun with him. I bet he's open to just about any kind of suggestion."

Shawn grinned. "Ooh, I have a good one. Matt! Hey Matt!"

Matt stopped, looking confused. "Santa?"

"No, but close. It's Shawn."

"Oh. Why did you make the room stop spinning?"

"Because I have a mission for you. I need you to go out in the lobby and start dancing with random people while singing my entrance music. Can you do that?"

"Sure." Matt jumped down from the table (almost falling on his head in the process) and ran out of the room. Shawn, Hunter and Jeff followed him. There was no way they were going to miss a moment of this train wreck.

The first person Matt ran into was JBL. "I think I'm cute, I know I'm sexy," Matt sang. He was doing the Party Boy on JBL. "I've got the looks that drives the girls wild."

JBL looked disgusted. "What in the hell do you think you're doing Hardy? I am a wrestling god! You cannot do this to me!"

"You may be a wrestling god, but I'm a sexy boy! Sexy boy! I'm not your boy toy! Boy toy!"

Jeff was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his face. "Oh man, this is awesome. Thank God for tequila."

"Hey Matt!" Hunter yelled. "Shawn's got another mission for you. He wants you to take off your clothes and shout "Viva la Cock" while running around the hotel."

Shawn tried to protest but Matt already had his clothes off before he could say anything. "Viva la Cock!" Matt yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Hardy, if you come over here again I'm really going to kick your ass," JBL threatened.

Matt had no interest in JBL though. "Viva la Cock! Viva la Cock!" Everybody was staring at him now. Everybody except JBL seemed to be finding this whole thing amusing. But then a really, really pissed off man walked into the room.

"WHO IN THE HELL SENT THIS IDIOT TO MY ROOM LOOKING FOR CHARLIE BROWN?" Undertaker yelled. He was dragging an unconscious Santino Marella behind him.

Matt stopped jumping around. "It was Jeff!" he exclaimed triumphantly. "Jeff did it!"

"Matt what the hell?" Jeff whined. "How could you accuse me of such a thing?"

"Cuz you always--whoa!" Matt stumbled and tripped over his own feet. "Ow!" He got back up to his feet. "You do those things like that. You tell the lies about the Charlie Browns and the Snoopys."

"You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying," Jeff said. He looked at Undertaker. "You can't believe I would do something like that."

Undertaker glared at him. "Actually Hardy, I can. You do those kinds of things all the time."

Jeff's eyes widened. He knew he was caught. "Uh…Matt was making fun of you earlier!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Shut up!" Undertaker snarled. "I don't care who did what because I'm going to kill the both of you!"

Hunter chuckled. "This is great. I'm going to put this on the internet and it'll be the most popular video on YouBoob."

Shawn frowned. "It's called YouTube Hunter."

"Is it really? Well that sucks. But hey, that means I can make my own website: YouBoob dot com. It's going to be great!"