Shawn's Birthday
"Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday dear Shawn, happy birthday to me," Shawn sang loudly. He was really excited about the fact that today was his birthday.
"I don't see why I have to wear this stupid thing," Hunter muttered. The pink birthday hats were really bothering him.
Matt rolled his eyes. "Would you stop complaining? This is Shawn's special day. You have to be supportive."
"But I look like a fairy."
"You look like that all the time," Jeff pointed out.
"What should we do first: cake or presents?" Rebecca asked, interrupting the potential Hunter/Jeff fight.
"Presents!" Shawn exclaimed. "I want my presents!"
Hunter handed Shawn one of the gifts. "Here, open this one. It's from me."
"Oh boy!" Shawn ripped it open eagerly, only to have his jaw drop open in shock. It was the newest issue of Playboy, only a picture of Rebecca's head was taped over the cover girl.
"I know you only look at you're wife naked now, but I also know she doesn't do stuff like this. So I figured if I put her face in there, you wouldn't feel bad about looking at all the naked chicks you want." Hunter sounded very proud of himself.
"Wow," Matt said in disbelief. He quickly handed Shawn his present to break up the awkward tension that had arose. "Open this Shawn."
"Hopefully it's not completely inappropriate," Rebecca muttered as Shawn opened the gift.
Hunter pouted. "My gift was not completely inappropriate. Everybody needs pictures of naked chicks."
"Oohhh, it's a new I-pod!" Shawn said happily. "Thanks Matt!"
"But I wanted a new I-pod Matt," Jeff whined.
"It's not your birthday Jeff," Matt tried to explain.
"I don't care! You were supposed to get me one anyway!"
"Jeff please stop whining," Rebecca pleaded as Shawn opened another present.
"Hey I got a Slip 'N' Slide!"
Matt glared at Jeff. "Why would you get him that? He's going to end up hurting himself."
"I know," Jeff replied. "But it'll make me laugh so it'll all work out."
"I want to play with it right now," Shawn informed them.
"Let's eat cake first," Rebecca suggested. "Then all of you guys can go outside and set it up."
"Cake!" Jeff yelled happily. He ran into the kitchen and immediately crashed into something.
"What did you break Jeff?" Matt asked as the rest of them went into the kitchen.
"Nothing!" Jeff said defensively. "Jeez, why do you always think I'm breaking stuff? Do you think I'm a klutz or something?"
"Do you really want him to answer that?" Hunter replied.
"Boys settle down," Rebecca ordered as Jeff gave Hunter the finger. "Somebody needs to cut the cake."
"I'll do it," Shawn volunteered. He grabbed a knife from the drawer. "I know exactly how I want my cake cut."
Matt took a good long look at the cake. "Uh Shawn? Are you aware you have a Powerpuff Girl cake?"
Shawn rolled his eyes. "Well duh! I'm the one that picked it out." He started cutting the cake, making sure he beheaded the little cartoon superheroes. "Die you little freaks! Die, die, die!"
"Wow," Hunter said in amazement. "I'm actually concerned about Shawn's mental state right now. This is not normal behavior for a guy over forty."
"I want the piece that has the green girl's head on it," Jeff said.
"But that's the one I want!" Shawn objected.
"Who cares what you want?"
"I'm the birthday boy! People have to care what I want."
"Matt! Make Shawn give me the piece I want!"
"Hunter! Make Jeff stop whining for the piece I'm having!"
"Can't we all just get along?" Hunter asked.
"NO!" Jeff and Shawn yelled.
"Oh boy," Matt muttered. He knew this wasn't going to end well.
Jeff grabbed a piece of cake and shoved it right in Shawn's face. Shawn made a high pitched whining noise and did the same thing back to Jeff. Then before anyone could stop them, the Heartbreak Kid and the Rainbow Haired Warrior were having a full fledged food fight.
"Can't you stop them?" Rebecca pleaded. "They're messing up my kitchen!"
Hunter shook his head. "Sorry Rebecca. Nobody can stop those two once they get started." A piece of cake hit him right in the face. "OH YOU TWO ARE FUCKING DEAD!"