Star Wars: Remix version
Chapter Forty-Three: Plan B
The court of Jabba the Hutt was in the midst of a drunken, raucous party. Sloppy, smelly monsters cheered and make rude noises as Oola and a fat female dancer performed in front of Jabba's throne. Jabba leered at the dancers and with a lustful gleam in his eye beckoned Oola to come and sit with him. She stopped dancing and backed away, shaking her head. Jabba got angry and pointed to a spot next to him.
"Da Eitha!"
The lovely alien shook her head again and screamed.
"Na Chuba negatorie Na! Na! Natoota..."
Jabba was furious and pulled her toward him, tugging on the chain.
"Boscka!" He said. He was about to push a button, when there was a gunshot that echoed throughout the chamber. Jabba turned to the nice and Oola relaxed. Jabba nodded at two guards and they dragged the dancer away. An unnatural quiet swept the boisterous gathering. On the far side of the room, the crush of debauchers moved aside to allow the approach of two guards followed by Boushh, an oddly cloaked bounty hunter, leading his captive, Han Solo's copilot, Chewbacca the Wookiee.
Bib took his place next to his disgusting master, and whispered into his ear, pointing at Chewbacca and the bounty hunter. Jabba listened intently, then the bounty hunter bowed before the gangster and spoke a greeting in a strange, electronically processed tongue (Ubese).
"I have come for the bounty on this Wookiee" Boushh said. Threepio was shocked. How could Master Luke allow Chewie to get captured.
"Oh, no! Chewbacca!" He said pitifully.
"At last we have the mighty Chewbacca" Jabba spoke in Huttese. He let out a loud, long, blood-curdling laugh and turned to Threepio, waving him closer. The reluctant droid obeyed.
"Oh, uh, yes, uh, I am here, Your Worshipfulness. Uh... yes!" Threepio stammered. Jabba continued speaking, as Threepio nervously translates. Boushh listened, studying the dangerous creatures around the room. He noticed Boba Fett standing near the door.
"Oh. The illustrious Jabba bids you welcome and will gladly pay you the reward of twenty-five thousand" Threepio translated. Boushh said something in Ubese.
"fifty thousand. No less" Threepio translated. Jabba immediately flew into a rage, knocking the golden droid off the raised throne into a clattering heap on the floor. Boushh adjusted his weapon as Jabba raved in Huttese and Threepio struggled back onto the throne. The disheveled droid tried to compose himself.
"Uh, oh... but what, what did I say?" He asked. He turned to Boushh. "Uh, the mighty Jabba asks why he must pay fifty thousand" The bounty hunter held up a small silver ball in his hand. Threepio looked at it, then looked at Jabba, then back to the bounty hunter. The droid was very nervous and Jabba was getting very impatient.
"Because he's holding a thermal detonator" Threepio said, panicking. The guards instantly backed away, as did most of the other monsters in the room. Jabba stared at the silver ball, which began to glow in the bounty hunter's hand. The room had fallen into a tense hush. Jabba stared at the bounty hunter malevolently until a sly grin crept across his vast mouth and he began to laugh.
"This bounty hunter is my kind of scum. Fearless and inventive" He spoke in Huttese. He continued and Threepio translated.
"Jabba offers the sum of thirty-five. And I suggest you take it" Threepio said worriedly. Bib and the other monsters studied the bounty hunter and waited for his reaction. Boushh released a switch on the thermal detonator and it went dead.
"Zeebuss" He replied.
"He agrees" Threepio said, overjoyed.
The raucous crowd of monsters erupted in a symphony of cheers and applause as the party returned to its full noisy pitch. Chewbacca growled. As he was led away Lando and Boushh eyed each other. Lando nodded to Boushh as the bounty hunter leaned against a column with gunfighter cool and surveyed the scene, his gaze stopping only when it connected with a glare from across the room. Boba Fett was watching him. Boushh shifted slightly, cradling his weapon lovingly. Boba Fett shifted with equally ominous arrogance. Lando passed by Boushh and slipped him something that went unnoticed by everyone except Boba Fett.
Gamorrean guards lead Chewie down a hallway. When a tentacle reached out at the Wookiee, Chewie's ferocious roar echoed against the walls and the tentacle snapped back into its cell in terror. It took all the guards to hurl Chewie roughly into a cell, slamming the door behind him. Chewie let out a pathetic howl and banged on the iron door.
Late that night, there was complete silence in the throne room. The room was deserted, only the awful debris of the alien celebration giving mute witness to the activity here before. Several drunk creatures lay unconscious around the room, snoring loudly.
A shadowy figure moved stealthily among the columns at the perimeter of the room and it was Boushh, the bounty hunter. He picked his way carefully through the snoring, drunken monsters. Han Solo, the frozen space pirate, hung spotlighted on the wall, his coffin-like case suspended by a force field. The bounty hunter deactivated the force field by flipping a control switch to one side of the coffin and sliding the device Lando had given him into a slot. The heavy case slowly lowered to the floor of the alcove. Boushh stepped up to the case, studying Han, and then turned to the control on the side of the coffin. He activated a series of switches and, after one last hesitant look at Han, slid the de-carbonization lever. The case began to emit a sound as the hard shell covering the contours of Han's face began to melt away. The bounty hunter watched as Han's body was freed of its metallic coat and his forearms and hands, previously raised in reflexive protest, dropped slackly to his side. His face muscles relaxed from their mask of horror. He appeared quite dead.
Boushh's ugly helmet leaned close to Han's face listening for the breath of life. Nothing. He waited. Han's eyes popped open with a start and he began coughing. The bounty hunter steadied the staggering man.
"Just relax for a moment" He told the space pilot. "You're free of the carbonite" Han touched his face with his hand and moaned. "Shhh. You have hibernation sickness"
"I can't see" Han muttered.
"Your eyesight will return in time" Boushh replied.
"Where am I?" Han asked.
"Jabba's palace"
"Who are you?" Han asked, feeling the bounty hunter's mask. The bounty hunter reached up and lifted the helmet from his head, revealing the beautiful face of Leia.
"Someone who loves you" She said.
"Leia!" Han said, overjoyed.
"I gotta get you out of here" Leia whispered.
As Leia helped her weakened lover to stand up, the relative quiet was pierced by an obscene Cackle from the other side of the alcove.
"What's that? I know that laugh" Han whispered.
The curtain on the far side of the alcove opened, revealing Jabba the Hutt, surrounded by Bib and other aliens. He laughed again, and his gross cronies joined in a cacophony of alien glee.
"Hey, Jabba. Look, Jabba, I was just on my way to pay you back, but I got a little sidetracked. It's not my fault" Han protested. Jabba laughed and replied in Huttese.
"It's too late for that, Solo. You may have been a good smuggler, but now you're Bantha fodder"
"Look..." Han began.
"Take him away!" Jabba ordered. The guards grabbed Han and started to lead him away.
"Jabba... I'll pay you triple! You're throwing away a fortune here. Don't be a fool!" Han shouted, but he was dragged off. Lando quickly moved forward and attempted to lead Leia away.
"Bring her to me" Jabba said. Lando groaned inwardly and he and a second guard dragged the beautiful farm girl towards him. Threepio peeked from behind a monster and quickly turned away in disgust.
"We have powerful friends. You're gonna regret this..." Leia warned. Jabba just laughed.
The heavy metal door of the dungeon whined and slowly creaked open. A guard threw the blinded star captain into the dark cell and the door slammed shut behind him, leaving only a thin sliver of light from a crack in the door. Han was trying to collect himself when suddenly a growl was heard from the far side of the cell. He jumped back against the cell door and listened.
"Chewie? Chewie, is that you?" He asked. The shadowy figure let out a crazy yell and raced toward Han, lifting him off the ground with a big hug that carries them into the light, revealing Chewie. "Ah! Chew-Chewie!"
The giant Wookiee barked with glee.
"Wait. I can't see, pal. What's goin' on?" Han asked. Chewie barked an excited blue streak.
"Luke? Luke's crazy. He can't even take care of himself, much less rescue anybody" Han replied. Chewie barked a reply.
"A...Jedi Knight?" Han choked out. "I-I'm out of it for a little while, everybody gets delusions of grandeur" He said. Chewie growled insistently. He held Han to his chest and pet his head.
"I'm all right, pal. I'm all right" Han reassured to Wookie.