WWE Planet

"You know guys, I was watching Animal Planet," Hunter said one day before a house show was set to start. "And it was actually kind of awesome. It also got me thinking that we should have our own version of Animal Planet."

Shawn frowned. "But we don't have animals. I mean, we have dogs at home but they're not here with us right now. Besides, dogs are kind of common anyway."

Jeff jumped up and down. "I know what we could do! The other wrestlers could be our wrestlers and we could be the explorers observing them and talking about them like they're all important and shit. We could call it WWE Planet."

Matt raised his eyebrows. "Well as fun as that sounds, I've actually got somewhere to be right now."

"Like where?" Jeff asked. "You're only teaming up with Maria to--" he stopped and grinned. "Oh I get it. You want to get some pre-match sex. Good for you buddy!" He gave Matt two thumbs up.

Matt rolled his eyes. "Shut up Jeff," he snapped as he walked away.

Shawn shrugged. "Oh well, that just means there's more animals for us."

So Shawn, Hunter and Jeff crept around backstage until they found Hornswoggle. "Look at that boys," Hunter said in a hushed tone and a fake Australian accent. "It's a leprechaun. Originating from Ireland, this little nugget is known to reside under the WWE ring."

"Although he's been known to venture backstage to search for candy," Shawn added.

"That's right Shawn," said Hunter. "In fact, the only creature in the WWE that likes candy as much as the leprechaun is the Rainbow Haired Enigma with us right now."

Jeff giggled. "I like candy."

"We know you do Jeff," Hunter said, patting Jeff on his head. "We know you do." His eyes widened as he saw Mike Knox walking by. "Good God! A grizzly bear is coming right at us! What the hell do we do?"

"We have to get in the fetal position," Shawn said. "It'll leave us alone if we do."

So the three of them curled themselves up into the fetal position. Mike Knox looked down at them like they were nuts before walking away. "That was close," Jeff said as he sighed in relief.

"It was," Hunter agreed. The three of them got up and kept creeping along. The next person they ran into was Snitsky.

"Look at this thing!" Shawn exclaimed. "It's a Pale Bodied, Yellow Tooth Troll! It's hideous!"

Jeff frowned. "I thought trolls lived under bridges."

Hunter shrugged. "Maybe that table he's eating at is his bridge. One of us should run across it just to see what he'll do."

So Jeff ran and hopped up on the table. "Look Mr. Troll! I'm running across your bridge! MWHAHAHA!"

Snitsky shook his head and looked at Shawn and Hunter. "That is not my fault."

Shawn and Hunter looked at each other and burst out laughing. Jeff pouted and joined the DX members. "That troll was dumb. He didn't even try to get me off his bridge."

Hunter wrapped his arm around Jeff's shoulders. "It's okay Jeff. I think I found something a lot better." He pointed to the Divas locker room.

Shawn groaned. "We're not going in there."

"Well YOU'RE not going in there," Hunter corrected. "Jeff and I, on the other hand, are definitely going in there. Right Jeff?"

"Aye aye Captain!" Jeff said eagerly. He burst into the Divas locker room eagerly, closely followed by Hunter. This caused all the Divas to start screaming and trying to cover themselves up.

"Get out!" Melina shrieked.

"You're not supposed to be in here!" Kelly screamed.

"Only the gay guys are allowed in here!" Mickie added.

Hunter smirked. "Well obviously you guys haven't realized that Jeff and I are totally gay for each other."

"What?" Jeff yelled. "No we're not!"

"He's just a little shy to admit it," Hunter explained quickly. He wrapped his arm around Jeff.

Jeff gave Hunter a disgusted look. "I so hate you right now."

Kelly studied them carefully. "Well, if you guys really are gay, then maybe you should prove it. Kiss."

"What?" Jeff said in disbelief. "You can't seriously expect me to kiss this idiot."

Hunter dipped Jeff almost all the way back. "Hail to the King baby," he said, imitating Bruce Campbell from Army of Darkness. Then he planted a big one right on Jeff's lips.

"GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!" Jeff yelled. He pushed Hunter away and smacked him right in the face. "What is wrong with you, you freak? Everyone already knows we're not gay!"

Mickie nodded in agreement. "That is true. Although now I feel bad for Jeff so he can stay."

"What about me?" Hunter asked.

"OUT!" the girls shouted at once.

Hunter pouted and left. "What happened?" Shawn asked.

"My plan to prove I was gay backfired," Hunter explained. "I guess forcing a kiss on Jeff might have been a little too much."

Shawn stared at him in shock. "You know what? Don't explain anymore. I don't want to hear it."

Hunter sighed. "Fine. But what are we going to do now? One Hardy left us to get laid and the Divas are keeping the other one."

"Well I don't know about you, but I want to look at some snakes," Shawn said.

"Hmmm, sounds like a plan." So DX went off in search of some snakes. They soon found one in the form of Randy Orton.

"Look at it Shawn," Hunter said in a hushed tone. The Australian accent from earlier was back. "Look how it stalks its prey like an overgrown gay tiger."

"I can hear you!" Randy snapped.

Hunter smirked. "I know you can Orton."

Shawn tapped Randy on the shoulder. "I know this is going to sound weird, but I can I drape you over my shoulders? You know, since you're a snake and all?"

Randy gave him a strange look "No!" He shook his head and stormed off.

Shawn pouted. "He didn't have to be so rude about it. He could have been a lot nicer."

Hunter patted Shawn's shoulder. "You'll get over it Shawn. Now let's go annoy more people."