Wow, I cannot believe it took me this long to write another chapter. However, with school and jobs and all I have been busy. Though, it's here now so hopefully u haven't stopped reading.
Normally you would have to have a blow horn and a forklift to wake Sirius, but not this morning. In fact, he couldn't remember if he had slept at all. He was tossing and turning all night long, wondering what tomorrow would bring.
Thoughts that he hadn't thought of when he came up with the plan crossed his mind. Things like what if Harry freaks out because he looked in without his permission. And worries from what he would see in Harry's past. Sure, he had found out that Harry and the dark lord had a special connection and had dueled every year almost in the past. But he never really found out if Harry had been tortured or what had gone on in those years he was stuck brooding in a cold cell with only the dementors to talk to. No one really bothered to give up information on what had happened in some of the encounters and some claimed that they simply didn't know at all. Clearly stating that Harry was usually always alone when the battles they had went down.
He had felt guilty the whole night while knowing that if only he had been there than maybe Harry could have gone to him for help or maybe he could have stopped his godson from seeing some of the things that he knew only a few had gone through and lived to tell about. If only he hadn't gone after Peter than he would have had the chance to be there. Than maybe, he wouldn't be stuck still awake with worry about the past at four and five in the morning.
Finally, he figured out that he had to go through with it all. No matter how much he felt guilty or how much he wanted to take back what had happened he had to see what the said golden boy held back from the real and wizarding world. Sirius knew that he wanted either him or moony to be who the seeker knew he could run to if his friends couldn't help him. And for that to happen he knew that he needed to know what went on in the past.
He had found out early from Hermione that Harry didn't like or want pity. That he just wanted to be treated like everyone else and did not really like to gloat about how he had beaten Voldermort at his own game once of twice. So it lead him up to the conclusion that he could never really just walk up to his godson and ask him to explain in detail what kind of horrors he had gone through. There was no way in hell that he would want to make Harry relive every single horrid moment. The ex- convict already felt bad enough for doing it in his fourth year at Hogwarts (A/n in the book) and knew that he couldn't do that again. To just have to sit there and watch Harry's eyes slowly glaze over with some unknown emotion after describing to them what he had gone through.
So he had it all deiced and planned by morning. The whole night to think about it thoroughly had really given him the idea that by looking inside the pensive it would be easier for him to grasp Harry's past and easier for him and the boy who lived to talk about later if he saw it first hand.
The day would go on as normal, no one but maybe Remus knowing what would happen later. Then everyone would slowly leave, and Dumbledore would show up right on time as always. After Harry had laid his memories in the drawing room, he would wait until nighttime when not a soul would walk in on him and then take his choice of memories and watch them through. Up until he thought he knew a little more about Harry's younger days.
His mind started to began to dream up some horrors about what had happened between Harry and the dark lord when he heard a crash and some laughing coming from the hallway.
It would seem that Harry and his friends had woken up and Ron being half-asleep still had walked straight into a wall, or at least that's what Sirius saw when he poked his head out of his room.
The boy who lived caught his eye when Sirius walked out of his room still chuckling to himself about Harry's friend. Harry sent him a shy smile before Ron shot up from the ground and threw his arm around Harry's shoulders to steady himself. Promptly knocking Harry off balance and him off balance and making the group release another round of laughs.
"Having fun this morning I see?" Sirius questioned with humor in his tone.
"Yup." Harry replied as he stood up and offered his hand to Ron.
As if the hallway wasn't full enough Remus came up the stairs. He promptly raised a single eyebrow at everyone that was currently being filled by all the people that had been in their house yesterday.
" Well since you've all started your day in such a fun way, you'll be glad to know that breakfast has been taken care of." and with that he left, though you could still hear his laughs echo down the hall when he herd the stamped of people heading downstairs.
The only ones that didn't though were Sirius and his godson. The seeker had watched his friends run into the kitchen like the hungry teenagers they were before he looked over to Sirius, when he noticed that he was still there, and gestured with his hands for him to go ahead.
The ex-convict just shook his head and walked over to Harry and threw his arms around his shoulders before starting to lead him down the hallway.
Breakfast went quite normally that morning, for everyone but Sirius. He was very content with the moment he had with his only godson that morning. Where they had taken a detour to get to the kitchen and Harry had answered his questions from last night that they did not get to.
Now he was happy just to watch Harry, Remus, and Harry's friends interact with each other. There was Ron stuffing all the food he could mange into and down his throat and mouth. Hermione and Ginny were happy just talking a giggling about something or another. He was also very amused to notice all of the looks and the quick glances that were shared between the youngest Weasley's and Harry, he could vaguely remember when he was that age.
Then on the other side of the table his godson and the twins were going over some thing. And from Sirius's eyes it looked to be very interesting to Harry and fun for Fred and George to go over. He made a mental note to himself to ask about it later… that was if Harry was still talking to him then.
Each passing moment he spent with the young fifteen year old he felt worse and worse about even thinking about looking into his personal memories. He was starting to think about it like an invasion of privacy again. This was what had him so worried that once Harry found out about it, if he did, then he would never trust or talk to him again.
He knew that he was only being melodramatic about it all. That there was no way no matter how upset Harry was that he wouldn't stop being around him at all. But no matter how much he tried to convince himself what he knew was true he couldn't help but have his doubts.
All of that combined on his worried thoughts about what happen in Harry's past made his face start to droop and causing him to pick at his food. Even if the rest of the people in the house didn't notice Remus did. He shot Sirius a cautious glance, one that the animagus could only shrug back to.
There was one good thing about that breakfast though. It was that it gave Sirius enough time to think over if he was going to look or not before Dumbledore showed up. And by the time that it was over and all the food was gone Sirius had made up his mind. That he had to do it no matter what the consequences might be.
The day was going by way to fast for Sirius and Remus liking. They had just recently taken home everyone that he been over that night. Moreover, just moments ago Dumbledore had flooed in from the living room. Secretly both of the older wizards had been dreading this moment, they both just refused to tell each other about it. Remus knew that there was something wrong with Sirius's today. He had been too jumpy lately and there were times when he was found getting lost in his thoughts when he was staring at the-boy-who-lived. Though he made sure that his insecurities about the whole, pensive ideas were never noticed.
He planned on taking care of the others worries before his as he always did. Nevertheless, that did not stop him from occasionally throwing a weary glance at Sirius or Harry that day. To be fair he was worried about both of them. Sirius because of how nervous he seemed to be that day. And for Harry because he knew that there had to be some moments in his past that he defiantly would not want to experience again.
It was shocking how things, such as time, could change at such fast rates. Only five minutes ago, Harry's guardians could remember thinking that time was moving way to fast. But now both of them were hoping that the clock would speed up.
Harry was inside the room alone with Albus; currently spill his memories into some sort of bowl that Dumbledore had brought in specially.
The clocks on the wall just went ticking away as the older wizards paced back and forth in the bare living room. Everyone else was in the drawing room, the one room that Sirius and Remus could not go into. Something about privacy and needed space was what Dumbledore said.
And right before Sirius was about to pull out his hair and Remus was about to fall head first into the book that he had been trying to read Dumbledore stepped out of the room behind Harry, with a hand on his shoulder.
"Young Harry happens to be very tried after today's activities, I believe that some sleep would be in order."
It was then and only than that, Sirius noticed that the pensive ordeal had been going on for three hours straight. Both of nodded at Harry and Albus as he was lead up the stairs by Remus, because he was feeling slightly dizzy. And Sirius stayed behind to bid Dumbledore a good bye. Once Albus was gone and he was sure he that Remus or Harry would not be coming down the stairs anytime soon he took one more look around. Before walking into the door that Harry had just exited, shut it, and locked himself in. The only thing had had to do know was chose which memory or moment from the golden boys past to watch.