The Jeff Hardy Show, Part 2

Jeff gathered Matt, Shawn and Hunter around a table while a camera was filming them. Despite getting a RKO from Randy Orton at the end of the last edition of the Jeff Hardy Show, Jeff convinced WWE dot com that he had something so important to announce that they agreed to put the show back on the air.

"Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, this is a very scary time for me," Jeff said. He looked completely serious. "I, Jeffery Nero Hardy, am pregnant with my first child."

"WHAT?" Shawn and Hunter yelled.

Matt groaned. "Jeff, you are not pregnant. You are a dude. There is no way you can even get pregnant."

Jeff gave his brother a dirty look. "Oh yeah? How do you know? There's this one dude who had a baby and now he's pregnant again! What do you got to say to that?"

"That pregnant dude used to be a woman. He's legally a dude now but he's still got the uterus and some of the other female parts."

Jeff frowned. "Really?" He looked at DX for confirmation.

Hunter nodded. "That man's P used to be a V."

Shawn shrugged. "I think Hunter's right. And I also think it's a good idea to get all your DX merchandise on WWE Shop dot com."

Matt shook his head. "You can never resist a cheap plug, can you?"

"Never. They make my life worth living."

Jeff sighed. "Okay, maybe I'm not pregnant. Well shit, this puts a damper on my show. What are we going to do now?"

"We could ask John Morrison if he's pregnant," Shawn suggested. "He kind of looks like a chick."

"Or we could do something I always find extremely fun," Matt said.

Hunter shook his head. "Matt, I know you've been lonely since Maria broke up with you, but a gay orgy is not going to be fun for all of us."

"It will be for you," Jeff muttered.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I wasn't talking about a gay orgy you idiot!" Matt yelled. "I was talking about finding Orton and annoying the hell out of him."

Hunter's eyes widened. "Oh! Oh yeah, annoying Orton. That's a great idea."

So the four of them grabbed the camera and set off on their quest to find and annoy the Legend Killer. They ended up finding him in his locker room.

"Oh hell no!" Randy shouted. "Get out now!"

"Oh come on Randy," Jeff pouted. "We want you to be part of the Jeff Hardy Show."

"Yeah Randy, be a part of the show," Hunter said. He set the camera up in the middle of the room. "This show is very near and dear to our hearts and we want to share it with you."

"Screw this," Randy muttered. He tried to leave but Shawn and Matt shoved him back into his chair and they held him down so he couldn't leave. "What the hell are you doing?" he yelled. "Get off of me!"

"Calm down Randy," Matt said. "We just want to ask you a few questions."

"Yeah Randy," Jeff said. He held an imaginary microphone up to Randy's mouth. "Tell us Randy, what was the deal with those pictures that involved you and the shower? Did you know there was someone out there with a camera? Did you agree to have your picture taken at that moment? How did they come into Hunter's possession?"

"Do you like being the gay community's favorite wrestler?" Hunter asked.

"Yeah," Matt said. "How do you like being Hunter's favorite wrestler?"

"I'm not gay you idiot!"

Shawn frowned. "Are you sure? Because there was that one time you--"

"Finish that sentence and die Shawn!" Hunter warned his best friend.

Randy tried to get himself free. "Let me up you idiots! This isn't funny!"

Jeff nodded. "You're right. This isn't funny." He started tickling the back of Randy's neck, making the Legend Killer squeal and wiggle around in his seat. "THIS is funny."

"Holy crap, he's really ticklish," Matt said. He started tickling Randy's ribs.

"Stop it!" Randy yelled. "This is not funny! I'm going to kill you all, I swear to God!"

"You can't swear to God," Shawn said. "It's a sin."

"Is it really?" Hunter asked.

Shawn shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought I'd say it."

John Morrison and the Miz chose that moment to walk into the room. The Shaman of Sexy and the Chick Magnet stared blankly at the sight of two of the greatest tag teams in WWE history tickling a former WWE champion. "Um…are we interrupting something?" Miz finally asked.

"Nothing too terribly important," Hunter replied. "Hey Morrison, are you aware you have glitter on your abs?"

"I'm very aware of that fact," Morrison replied. "I'm the one that put it there."

"Glitter!" Jeff shouted happily. He let go of Randy and started rubbing his face against Morrison's stomach.

"What the hell are you doing?" Morrison yelled.

"Jeff get away from him!" Matt ordered. "That is just wrong in so many ways."

"Oh and tickling me is just fine and dandy?" Randy snapped.

"Is it me, or is this episode of the Jeff Hardy show even stranger than the last one?" Shawn asked.

Hunter nodded. "Oh it is. It definitely is."