Couples Therapy

Shawn stared at the two people sitting across from him. "We need to get this all sorted out," he informed them. "I know you guys went through something very strange, but you need to get past it. We need to get to the way things used to be."

Jeff shook his head. "There's no going back now Shawn. Last night changed everything. My ass will never be the same again."

Hunter rolled his eyes. "It's him that's being all weird," he informed Shawn. Randy did the same thing after that night. I like to call it the "morning after freak-out".

"Oh that's typical of you Hunter. It's everyone else that has the problem. Everyone else is crazy and you live in your perfect little Hunter world."

Shawn frowned. "But you are crazy Jeff."

"That is not the point!" Jeff yelled. "You're supposed to be our therapist. Support me on this or you're not getting your chocolate later."

Shawn sighed. "Hunter, open up to us so I can get my chocolate."

"I don't wanna. This is stupid. We don't need couples therapy."

"Oh, so last night didn't mean anything to you? Was I just a cheap fuck?"

Hunter looked totally bewildered. "You're the one that said last night didn't mean anything. You said we only did it for the privilege of seeing Beth and Stephanie together. Why are you suddenly acting like a crazy jackass about this whole thing?"

"I don't know! I haven't been this confused about my sexuality since I kissed Shannon when I was seventeen."

"Okay, I really can't do this," Shawn said in defeat. "You need to go to somebody who's either gay or bi, because I don't know what to say to either one of you." He sighed. "If only one of you was a girl. Then maybe I could help you."

Hunter and Jeff looked at each other. "I'm too big to be a girl," Hunter said quickly. "I would just look like an ugly transvestite."

Jeff sighed. "Alright, alright, I'll do it."

"Do what?" Shawn asked as they left the room. "What are you two doing?" He didn't get an answer. He slumped down in his chair. "Oh boy. I have a bad feeling I'm going to see something very strange."

Matt came into the room. He looked very happy with himself. "I am the king!" he announced. He sat down next to Shawn. "Where are Hunter and Jeff?"

"I don't know and I don't want to know," Shawn told him. "We've been playing Couples Therapy and it's just very weird."

Matt frowned. "Couples Therapy? Jeff and Hunter aren't a couple."

"Yeah, well, I'm not so sure about anything anymore. Beth and Stephanie were still looking cozy this morning. Either those four crazy kids are going to switch partners or there's a weird four way relationship brewing. I can't tell which one's going to happen."

Hunter came back in. "I think we solved your problem Shawn," he said as he dragged Jeff into the room. Jeff now had on a halter top, a black mini skirt, fishnet stockings and high heels. His purple hair had also been put into pigtails.

Matt's jaw dropped. "What in the hell did you do to my brother you jackass?"

Hunter put up his hands innocently. "We just thought Shawn would have an easier time helping us if Jeff looked like a girl."

"Actually now I'm just scarred for life," Shawn said slowly. "This has got to be the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life."

Jeff pouted. "I don't think I look scary. I think I look really sexy like this."

Edge chose that moment to walk in. He took one look and Jeff and groaned. "Why are you always in heels when I walk in? And why are you dressed like that?" He looked at Hunter, Matt and Shawn. "Why can't you people ever be normal?" he yelled. He didn't wait for an answer to any of those questions. He just stormed right back out of the door.

"He's just mad that he has to wake up next to Vickie every morning," Hunter said wisely.

Beth and Stephanie walked in. "Oh my God Jeff, you look so pretty!" Beth exclaimed.

Jeff bounced up and down happily. "I know I do. But I need make-up."

Shawn shook his head as Beth started digging through her purse for make-up. "I love how she doesn't even question why he's dressed like that. She just goes with it."

"After awhile, that's all you can do with Jeff," Matt pointed out. "There's no explaining that enigma." He licked his lips. "You want to go to Dairy Queen? A hot fudge sundae sounds really good right now."

Shawn nodded. "I deserve some ice cream. This couples therapy is hard work."