ok here we go with chap 20! Sorry for not updating. New years eve was my birthday and it turned out to be the birthday from hell so I didn't really have any inspiration.

what happened in the last chapter

" So at dinner then?" Padfoot questioned breaking remus from his train of thought.

" Yes sure then, but in the mean time not a word to the Weasleys about what's going on with harry or what we saw. Something tells me that harry wouldn't be to happy if we told them."

Sirius nodded and in that moment they were back into the Weasley crowded living room

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" Come on kiddo, up you go. It's time for dinner." Sirius whispered softly into a sleeping harry's ear. As remus watched from his spot by the door, gradually lighting up the dim room more and more as harry began to stir.

Finally giving up on falling back asleep with his godfather whispering to him he sighed and opened his eyes. Only to have his glasses thrust in right in front of his face. He guessed that sirius or remus must have taken them off while he slept.

" Thank you." the chosen one said in a husky voice, he had really fallen into a deep sleep.

Using his energy harry took a deep breath and hopped out of bed. He realized then that he hadn't even bothered to take off his clothes or even get under the covers.

" Come on now, downstairs for some of molly's meatloaf and then you can head back to bed if you want." Remus stated as he began to walk out and ushered the slowly moving pair out with him.

There was no conversation as they all walked down the stairs. For reasons unknown to him harry was still feeling very uncomfortable around anyone and was just all around very upset.

When they were halfway down harry legs started to cramp up, he guessed that that would happen sooner or later with all the running that he had done only hours before. Yes he had practice from running from his uncle and his cousin with his goons but that seemed to be such a long time ago compared to where he was now. He finally had a home! And remus and sirius were now in his life for good, nothing could take them away. But for some reason he couldn't get as excited about that as he had done in the past. Maybe it was the threat of the war coming closer and closer or maybe it was all the damage that his so called relatives did. But for now harry couldn't pin point any reason why he was feeling so sad.

Eventually the pain and throbbing became to much and he had to stop on one of the steps. Harry let out a sigh of annoyance while he closed his eyes and racked a hand through his unruly hair.

With his eyes closed harry didn't see the worried look remus and sirius exchange. Both agreeing that maybe talking about what their godson was going through at dinner didn't seem like the best idea they had ever come up with. Especially since all of the Weasley clan was going to be around and listening in. They knew that harry would eventually tell all of them the extent of the abuse and hurt but it would probably be better for harry to do it on his own time. When he was sure he was over it and didn't blame himself and when he was ready to handle a very sad Molly Weasley.

" You alright there pup?" Sirius asked gently.

"Yeah fine, my legs are just hurting something fierce, probably from all of that running I did for no reason." he said with a small laugh and a slightly joking tone. Obviously trying to lighten up the dark mood that had suddenly fell between every one but nothing was working.

"Harry you were also hit with a cruciatus curse, don't you remember?"

the boy-who-lived searched his brain for a few minutes looking for that moment but it wasn't there. Sure he was feeling the side affects of it, but he couldn't place when it had happened, after he ran into that snake in the forest everything seemed to be a blur.

" no no I can't sorry." and with that harry began to walk back done the stairs.

Before following after him remus turned to sirius and said. " I don't know exactly what that means but I doubt that it's a good sign."

Sirius groaned and rolled his head back. " Great just what harry needs more bad signs."

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Dinner was more chaotic than either remus or sirius wanted. Everyone in the house wanted to see and talk to harry. Even though the harry had made it clear just by his body language that he wanted to be left alone and eat in peace.

" Oh you poor dear! After all you've been through to find out that those scars are infected! You must be overwhelmed." Molly exclaimed for what seemed like the eightieth time since they sat down.

Sirius was suddenly regretting telling her the news. After she started up again on how sorry for him she felt and asking him if he was in any pain he had had enough.

Sirius and remus were surprised at how many different reactions the Weasleys were having to the news that harry had been neglected.

Molly was very concerned and constantly wanted to know if harry was alright. However Arthur was very distressed and almost looked confused. Sirius had told remus that he guessed it was because Arthur was trying to figure out how harry was always around him and he never picked up on something being wrong. Bill and Charlie looked extremely sad and hardly talked for the rest of the night only saying a few words here and there. The twins had looked like the world had ended and that they would never be happy again. And ginny had taken just not talking at all and looking very pale.

Ron nevertheless had the strangest reaction of them all. His whole face was white during dinner and every now and again looked over in harry's direction only to look back at his plate again. But his face also hinted at him being embarrassed, probably because he was the one that had told harry's godfathers in the first place.

Sirius made a mental note to later tell him that although he had betrayed harry's trust by telling them when he wanted no one to know, he had helped harry from hurt and injury in the long run.

Sirius admitted a growl that sounded a lot like padfoot he began to stand. Remus, knowing that sirius was at the end of his stick put a hand on his shoulder and forced it back down. While lightly saying, " don't worry let me see what I can do."

He sat up a little straighter and looked across that table at . " Molly I do think that harry is,"

The ex dada professor was cut short when in a haste harry got up without a word causing his chair to fall back and suddenly ran up the stairs.

Everyone was shocked most of all Molly, she had been right in the middle of trying to get another answer out of him.

Not even asking remus if he would join him sirius got up and went after harry. His eyes were filled to the brim with worry and concern was etched all over his face.

" Oh! Remus this cant be good! He has no idea what to do with an abused boy." she said as if she knew herself.

You could hear ron groan out "Mom!" in annoyance. Apparently he was getting tired of his mom talking like that too for she had been all night.

Remus as feeling annoyed as ron simply said, " He does molly know quite a bit after the family he had to grow up in so don't think not. He also cares for harry very much now," he paused briefly to cough into his hand, " if you'll all excuse me I feel the need to go and see if harry is fairing well."

Well that definitely shut the woman up! And also caused the rest of the room to look at with raised eyebrows. They had never heard remus say something like that, he was always so quiet and soft spoken. But tonight he had reached his limits. He didn't care if he sounded rude, she was on his and Sirius's nerves after all. And he didn't even give a thought to asking for forgiveness later.

All he wanted to do was make sure harry was alright and then get them home so they could possibly discuss it there.

Not giving a glance back to the table he pushed his chair back and got up following that same path sirius and harry both had only minutes ago.

Remus reached the door and as soon as he went to grab the knob sirius opened it. Remus gave him a questioning look but sirius softly explained that he had heard him coming up. The ex-convict moved out of the way and let remus in while pointing over to the boy-who-lived.

Harry was standing with his back to them, staring out the only window in ron's bedroom. Just staring not saying a word or even moving. Remus took a guess that if he could see his face too you could see that he wasn't even blinking.

" He's been like that since I got up here. I can't get him to open up and tell me what's wrong. Think maybe you could try?"

Without a word spoken remus moved across the room and stood beside harry. Looking out the window also and at harry out of the corner of his eye.

" It's a very beautiful night tonight isn't it harry?"

The chosen one gave a sigh before answering, " Yes, it's brilliant." He didn't even look up at remus.

" That's why I've always liked to go outside for my transformations other then be locked up in room like I some nights had to while at Hogwarts. I guess that I was more fun getting to use all of my heightened senses on sniffing weird plants and what not. It gave me a feeling of freedom and relief that I understand you get while riding on a broom." Once his speak was finished he gave harry a few moments of silence to process the meaning of all that he had said.

" I do. When I'm on my broom it's like nothing can catch me and I have the whole entire sky opened up for me to fly somewhere that I can finally have peace." he looked over to remus and began to speak more. " but that would be running away wouldn't it, letting wizards down, that is if I leave without killing Voldemort."

Remus stretched out his arm and put it on harry's shoulder, pretending for harry's sake not to notice the way harry leaned in to him as if looking for comfort. He knew that the young wizard probably hadn't done it on purpose or even noticed he did.

" Not at all cub, not at all. Everyone deserves a break for peace and quiet every now and again. And you of all people I know need one the most. Just get passed Voldemort and then you're free to live however you want. No more safe houses, being scared, or fighting. Just you padfoot and I."

" I've never actually thought that hard about it but now that I do it's a win win isn't it? I can either kill Voldemort and get a life with the two of you, or I lose and die and get to rest….. Yes I'll be letting down the wizardering world but it'll finally be over. I'll have peace and then at least I can say I tried. Not just ran like a git like Lockhart."

Both of the boys godfathers were taken back by the statement they had never thought that something like that would come out of the boys mouth however it made more sense when he added.

" … and then I'll get my mom and dad and Cedric back."

" Come on pup lets get you home, maybe remus will even make you some hot chocolate and we can talk." sirius came in.

At the mention of talking harry looked rapidly around the room and both men sensed his panic.

" Don't worry that will come later, for now I really want to hear that story of you flying an invisible car to Hogwarts or maybe the one about the flying aunt. And best of all dobby will be waiting there for you, and you know he'll want to say hello."

Harry's face brightened and he left the room. Saying that he was heading down to tell the Weasleys that they were leaving and ron that he didn't blame him. He promised he would come back up once he was done. Remus was grateful for that he couldn't imagine heading back downstairs after all he had said.

" You don't think that he really meant that do you? You know the wining if he dies thing." sirius asked worriedly.

Remus ran a hand through his tawny brown hair and replied, " He might be depressed padfoot. With all of the pressure he has on him to save the world right when he's of legal age and from the abuse. But I can tell you one thing if he does get suicidal than were going to be facing lost of bumps in our road to recovery."

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