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You Can't Always Get What You Want
...
I saw her today at the reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she was gonna meet her connection
At her feet was a footloose man
...
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need
...
And I went down to the demonstration
To get my fair share of abuse
Singing, "We're gonna vent our frustration
If we don't we're gonna blow a 50-amp fuse"
...
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need
…
Charming
Gemma stood at the end of the bar, her eyes moving to the hallway that held the dorms. Juice had taken Milla back there about two hours before and neither had resurfaced. There were only two explanations for the time they'd been in there. The first was that Milla really was gone beyond the breaking point and Juice didn't know how to fix her. Gemma refused to think that. The second was that he'd found a way to get through to her and was bringing her back. Gemma was betting on that explanation and wanted to check on the progress, but every time she went near the hallway Piney would catch her eye and shake his head. He had been watching them too and Gemma could see in his eyes that he understood that whatever was happening Milla needed it and they'd ruin everything if they tried to interfere.
…
Eventually the tears stopped falling from her eyes and Juice continued to clutch Milla. He hoped that she was still there and wasn't retreating into herself again. There were too many people that needed her, and he was one of them. Right now he needed to talk to her, to see what she was feeling. He needed to know she was ok with what happened and if she understood that, while it wasn't a mistake, it couldn't happen again until things were sorted out for both of them. There was too much at stake for her. He looked down and saw her resting her head on his chest and it looked like she was listening to his heartbeat. Her eyes started to droop and he decided that she needed to rest, they could talk later.
…
Gemma decided that she'd had enough; her daughter had been in the room alone with Juice for far too long, long enough to rouse suspicion if the wrong person saw. Ignoring Piney's head shake she went to the door she'd seen them enter and heard the sound of snoring. It was a good sound; it meant that he'd gotten her calm enough to sleep. This was something they wouldn't have to hide; it was just Juice helping out Milla. She turned and walked out of the hallway, not wanting to draw attention to them, and resumed her spot by the bar. Once Milla was rested she was taking her home and they were going to have a talk about what she'd seen from her daughter. Milla was a Morrow and a Madoc; they didn't fall apart like that.
…
Milla opened her eyes and slowly blinked as the room came into focus. She lifted her head and tried to stretch some of the kinks out only to realize that someone had a death grip on her hand. Her eyes traveled from her hand in a dark calloused one to a broad defined chest and finally landed on that face she'd fallen in love with. As she saw him everything came flooding back. They're lovemaking, the kisses, him begging her to come back to them... It was all real and the soreness between her thighs could attest to the fact that he hadn't been gentle. She continued to look at him, taking in every angle to his face, definition of muscles, tats...everything that made Juice...Juice. She leaned up and placed a kiss to those lips she'd longed for for so long and cursed herself when he stirred. She'd wanted to stay like this forever.
"Hey." He said quietly and Milla gave him a small smile, her first in days.
"Hey." She responded somewhat awkwardly and Juice couldn't blame her. What they'd done was wrong on so many levels but it was also so painfully right. He looked down and saw that he was still clutching her hand so he let her go and moved a bit away. Milla got the hint and felt her face fall; he was ashamed of what happened.
"We should get dressed and go out; we've been gone a long time." He said as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and Milla nodded, suddenly feeling like something was wrong. As she turned her face from him Juice realized how his tone had sounded and grabbed her arm. She turned and he continued to pull her to him. Once she was in his arms he kissed her gently but when she tried for more he moved away.
"I'd give just about anything to keep this going but we have some shit we need to talk about." He ran a hand through her hair and ran his thumb over a spot behind her ear that he'd discovered was especially sensitive.
"I love you and I want to be with you. That hasn't changed." She said quietly and he sighed as he laid back and rested his head on his arm.
"I love you too, fuck if I know how to do anything else...but that means nothing when it comes to this Milla. You're a married woman, you fucked me. That's not going to look good for you." He said it in such a way that she couldn't argue and she wasn't planning on it. Instead she started laughing. "I'm serious, if they figure this shit out it looks bad."
"Juice...I can't possibly tell you how little I care about that. They can brand me the Whore of Babylon if they want and it won't change a thing. I needed this and I still need you." He looked into her eyes and saw the seriousness of her confession. She really didn't care what they thought.
"I care, I don't want anyone to say shit about you or think shit about you. You're going to be my Old Lady and I don't want this shit to follow you." He rose and took her face in his hands as her laughter stopped. He'd just said she was going to be his Old Lady, something she'd kept in her heart and in the back of her mind for so long.
"I won't tell a soul...Help me get out of here without anyone noticing." She said quickly and he nodded before he gave her a quick kiss and helped her into her dress once she was out of the bed.
Once they were both dressed they went to the main room and after running into Koz and letting him know Milla was going to be ok they left. Gemma watched from the shadows. She'd let them have this extra time alone, her lecture could wait. As she observed them she didn't miss the way he'd reach back for Milla's hand and stop at the last second. The way she stayed within touching distance. It was obvious that their relationship had changed in a significant way and Gemma knew a "just-been-fucked" glow when she saw one. Once they were gone her eyes drifted over to Piney who was watching them with as much interest as she was. As her eyes met his the look was unmistakable, he was telling her to leave it alone. For once she'd listen to the advice. As long as she got her baby back it didn't matter how.
…
A Few Days Later...
"Alright, you'll have a car for us in the airport?" Milla spoke to her Bluetooth as she folded more clothes to go in her bag. "I really appreciate this Jimmy."
She hung up after the customary goodbyes and finished her packing. They were leaving on an early flight and she wanted to get ready. She sighed as she picked up her phone and saw the screensaver. She'd set up a slideshow and the new picture was one she'd taken of Donna playing with the kids. Donna...the pain was sharp and immediate and Milla felt like she needed to vomit but kept herself in check. She needed to get ready, Jimmy was anxious to have her back and she needed some time to grieve away from everything. She also had to make arrangements and plan her escape. Now that she had Juice, Keegan had become an obstacle she needed out of her way. With a sigh she picked up Little Clay's bag and started packing, getting lost in the monotony of the task until the familiar sweet smell of tobacco invaded her senses. She looked up to see her father looking at her. There was no pity or sadness in his eyes just a look of resignation.
"Hi Daddy, been there long?" She asked him as she folded the t-shirt Little Clay had insisted on getting from the museum.
"Nah just got here. I wanted to see you before the lunch. You sure about cutting the trip short?" He asked and Milla nodded as she concentrated on the packing.
"I need to get back. I'm so sorry Dad but I can't be here. Everything reminds me of her and I need to find a safe place in my head again." She put down the pants she was packing and turned to her Dad. "I'm coming back; as long as I'm welcome I'll always come back. This is my home and I want it to be Little Clay's too,"
She looked at Clay pleadingly and he moved from his spot leaning against the door jamb and enfolded her into his arms. He kissed her head as he felt her shoulders shake with silent sobs as she allowed herself a chance to show her emotions.
"Of course you're welcome back Angel. This will always be your home." He rested his head on hers and continued to hold her as her sobs subsided. He'd just gotten her back; he wasn't going to lose her again.
...
Belfast
"Hello?" Keegan asked into the phone, barely managing to hold his temper. He'd been put on hold for five minutes and he was not a man who liked to be kept waiting. He understood that it was just a power play and it was in his best interest to keep his cool but it wasn't easy.
"Mr. Rafferty, so good of you to stay on the line. I apologize for the delay but I'm a very busy man." The man spoke into the phone, his accent difficult to place but Keegan knew all about him and his little business and his ties to several unsavory characters.
"No'ting ta worry 'bout. I was hopin' you had time ta consider the offer I made earlier." He said as he breathed into his hand. It was colder than a witch's tit in the early morning fog.
"I've thought a great deal about the offer Mr. Rafferty and I think that it's reasonable but I can't help but think that there's a catch of some kind." The man said.
"Aye, can't pull the wool over yer eyes. I heard yer good at forcin' out certain elements from places ya set up shop and there's a group I want gone, in any way ya can. Ever hear a' the Sons of Anarchy?" He asked as he felt excitement seize his chest, he could finally be free of everything and Milla wouldn't have a place to go. She'd be at his mercy.
"I have heard of this gang Mr. Rafferty and I can assure you that plans for their removal have already been set into motion. Does this affect the offer?" He asked and Keegan could just imagine him examining his nails acting bored.
"Only as much as it cements it. I'll call ya Tuesday with details on the first shipment. I have ta inform my partners." He said as he breathed on his hands again. They couldn't seem to get warm, no matter what he did.
"Good, I'll connect you to my secretary to arrange it. Have a good day Mr. Rafferty." He said it professionally, no real feeling behind it and Keegan suddenly felt like maybe this wasn't a good idea but then he remembered just how much money he was going to get and the added destruction of the Sons. It was worth the risk.
"Ya have a good day yourself Mr. Zoebelle."
…
Author's Note: Sorry this took so long. I had to work out some issues with the story and had an overabundance of stuff I was working on. Also this is the end of events in season 1 and I'm about to embark on the last part of the story and the events of season 2. It's shaping up nicely and I'm so glad to have all of your support. Anyway. thank you all for your patience and for reading and reviewing.
Special Thanks: I wanted to take this opportunity to thank Verda Napoli, without her support this chapter and the entire trilogy wouldn't be happening. She's been an amazing sounding board and an amazing presence throughout the writing process. I know I never would have continued without her support so I ask that you support her as well and read her work. She's a constant source of inspiration and I want everyone to know how much she means to me and how amazing her work is. Thank you Verda for everything.