Costume Party

"I love parties!" Shawn exclaimed. He was wearing his best suit again. "Especially costume parties. You want to know why?"

Matt, who was wearing a bathrobe, shrugged. "I don't actually care."

"Because I get to be a secret agent man!" Shawn said eagerly, ignoring the fact that Matt told him he didn't care. "I'm a secret agent man! A secret agent man!" He frowned. "What are you supposed to be?"

"I'm a young Hugh Hefner," Matt replied. "Now where are the others? We've got to get going before all the booze is gone."

Maria, Candice (who were dressed as sexy bunnies), Stephanie (who was a witch), and Hunter (who was a cow) came out to the car. "We ready to go yet?" Stephanie asked.

"Not quite," Matt said. "We're still waiting for Jeff and Beth."

"Why are you dressed as a cow?" Shawn asked Hunter.

"Why wouldn't I be dressed as a cow?" Hunter replied. "Cows are awesome."

Jeff and Beth finally arrived. Beth was dressed as a pimp and Jeff looked like a hooker (and a girl hooker on top of that). "Shouldn't the costumes be reversed?" Shawn asked. "This is more of Jeff than I ever want to see."

"I like it," Jeff said. He adjusted his costume, which consisted of a halter top, a short leather skirt, fishnet stockings and six inch heels. He also had on way too much make-up. "I think I look sexy."

"And I like being a pimp," Beth said. "That means I can pimp slap people all night." She slapped Hunter just to prove her point.

"OW!" Hunter yelled. "Damn it Beth!"

Matt shook his head and drove them to the party. It was being held at Vince's house. When they got there, they found Miz and Morrison (dressed as Pinky and the Brain respectively) being chased by Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes (dressed as an M&M and a giant hamburger). "That's just screwed up," Jeff said.

"You think that's screwed up? Have you looked in a mirror lately?" Hunter asked.

"You're the one who dressed me like a girl in the first place. Remember the couples therapy session we tried?"

"Don't bring that up," Shawn begged. "I've been trying to forget that."

Vince, who was dressed like a sailor, whistled at Jeff. "Well hello there beautiful. What's your name?"

"Jeff."

"Je--HARDY! WHAT THE HELL?"

"What? You were liking what you were seeing."

Stephanie looked disgusted. "Oh my God! My dad was checking Jeff out!"

"I think I just threw up a little in my mouth," Hunter said quietly.

Jeff put his hands on his hips. "Hey, I look hot as a hooker. You people can't even lie. I can totally see Vince's boner."

"Oh God!" Matt groaned.

Beth held her hand out towards Vince. "Hey, if you want time with my ho, you better pay me first. Show me that money."

Vince turned a deep shade of red and ran away. "Bye Vince!" Jeff said cheerfully, blowing the boss a kiss. He turned back to the others. "This is fun!"

Candice and Maria put their arms around Matt. "I bet this place has a lot of empty rooms in it," Candice said seductively. "We could go upstairs and have a little fun in them."

"Yeah, we could totally have sex in them," Maria said, stating the obvious.

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "We already knew that's what you two wanted, you dumbass."

Maria stuck her tongue out at Stephanie as she and Candice dragged Matt away. "Well that's just great," Hunter said. "Now we can't get Matt drunk and make him do stupid things. What are we supposed to do for entertainment now?"

"I could get naked," Jeff suggested.

"No!" everyone else yelled.

Jeff pouted his lips. "Why not? I look good naked."

"Yeah, but you're not getting naked here," Hunter said. "You can do that later."

Shawn frowned. "Did you just agree that Jeff looked good naked?"

Hunter's eyes widened. "Uh…no."

Jeff grinned. "You so did."

Beth tapped Jeff on the shoulder and pointed at Hunter. "Ho, go get that cow. I want you to get him and ride him hard."

"No, don't tell him that!" Hunter said. "He'll actually try to do it!" He screamed and ran away as Jeff began to chase him.

Stephanie shook her head. "Now look what you've started. We'll never tear them away from each other."

Beth grinned. "Good. That'll give us some time to ourselves."

"Oh that is just not fair!" Shawn complained as the two girls began to make out. "Why am I always the one that gets left out of the nookie fests? Ugh! That's it, Rebecca is going to start traveling with me. I need lovin' too."