I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.
Nemo
…
Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
All I wish is to dream again
My loving heart
Lost in the dark
For hope I'd give my everything
...
My flower
Withered between
The pages two and three
The once and forever bloom gone with my sins
...
Walk the dark path
Sleep with angels
Call the past for help
Touch me with your love
And reveal to me my true name
…
Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
All I wish is to dream again
My loving heart
Lost in the dark
For hope I'd give my everything
….
Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
Oh how I wish to dream again
Once and for all
And all for once
Nemo my name forever more
….
Nemo sailing home
Nemo letting go
….
Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
All I wish is to dream again
My loving heart
Lost in the dark
For hope I'd give my everything
...
Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
Oh how I wish to dream again
Once and for all
And all for once
Nemo my name forever more
...
Name forever more- Nightwish
…
Charming
Milla sat on the chair by Juice's bed and read from the book she brought with her. She had a feeling that between him and Chibs she wouldn't get much conversation so she came prepared. Now that he was sleeping in a drug induced slumber she realized that her decision to bring the book had been a good one. She could always stash it when he woke up, she didn't want to miss a minute with him. She settled into the chair to read and only left when the nurses showed up. After a while she had the need to get up and went out in the hallway. She'd barely stepped out the door when she heard the click of heels.
"Fancy seein' you here. How's Juicy?" Gemma asked as she looked at her daughter and waited for an answer.
"He's good, right now he's sleeping. Listen, before you lecture me, I'm just here as a friend. I know the Club may not be...ok...with me and him just yet, the pesky marriage and all...but I need to be here." She explained and Gemma nodded.
"No need to worry darlin' everyone's lost in their own shit, probably glad you're here with him so they don't have to be. I'm having a family dinner tonight and I want you there." She thinly veiled her command and Milla actually looked sheepish.
"I can't, I have to go with Fiona. Apparently there are people who aren't too happy with us and I need to put out a couple of fires. It's for Little Clay's safety." She said and Gemma nodded.
"Come to the house when you're done?" She asked and Milla nodded.
"Yeah, I'll be there. It just depends on how big the fire is that I have to put out." She took a breath and calmed her nerves a bit. Her text from Jimmy hadn't hinted at anything good.
…
Keegan leaned against the wall of the Marina's office, smoking a fag and checking texts. The whore had sent him one telling him she was in Charming and not to bother checking in and Jimmy was wonderin' where the fuck he was. He smirked; things had been goin' so well. Zoebelle had put the King and his cronies away for a while. Lord knows how they made bond but Keegan could deal with that, they were only out temporarily after all. His smirk turned into an all out grin as he thought about the Latino bane of his existence, the little fucker had been stabbed. The shame of it was that he was still alive. Well, soon as Zoebelle's connections came through he'd be gone and his lovely wife wouldn't have a soul in the world...except his son...Clarence was the only one he felt anything for. The boy may have had his mind poisoned but he was still Keegan's own blood. Once his whore of a mother was taken care of then things would be set right, he'd get his son a nanny then put him up in world class boarding schools. He nodded, that was the way ta go.
So far the only major snag had been the old bitch keeping her mouth shut. You'd think she'd want vengeance for what had been done, or the attention it would garner... Instead she stayed silent and the Club had to be lured into traps in other ways. No matter, soon enough she and her whore daughter would be in their own shallow graves, he just had to think of the location. He chuckled and stood straight when the boat pulled into harbor. Cammy'd just gone on a run to check on their stock that would be ready for delivery tomorrow.
"How'd it go?" He asked and Cameron glared at him.
"Heard that there're grumbles in Charmin' I t'ink the bikers are onta us." He said and Keegan scoffed. There was no way, Zoebelle snipped any loose ends.
"They aren't that smart." Keegan said with conviction. "In a few weeks we'll be flush with money and all our problems will disappear. Now come with me fer a drink, toast our good fortune and superior intelligence."
Cameron followed behind Keegan, feeling like he'd been talking to a wall. The boy relied entirely too much on the white hate kingpin and his thugs. He didn't look at the situation from the right angles. They had to be careful now; the Sons weren't the kind of men to underestimate.
…
"You're sure I'm not hurting you?" Milla asked as she rested her head on the pillow next to Juice.
"Not at all." He lied smoothly, his back was protesting as he moved his arm around her and his side was sore but that didn't matter. What mattered was that she was in his arms. As if sensing his thoughts she moved her mouth up to his and he kissed her gently. Before it could get heated she pulled away and pressed her forehead with his.
"Can we pretend for a little while?" She asked and he looked at her quizzically before she continued. "Pretend that I'm yours and you're mine...no obstacles."
"I already am baby. Have been since you walked through that door." He smiled and she sighed in contentment before she kissed him, once she was free there would be no pretending.
…
Later that Night...
Milla took a deep breath as she stood at the doorway to the safe house with Doyle standing behind her like a big muscular shadow. She didn't want to be there, especially if Jimmy was going to be as angry as she assumed he was. She knew she'd done wrong and was willing to apologize but at the same time she could defend herself. She was about to knock again when the door opened and Luke ushered them in.
"Well hello there little miss Milla. A bit strange seein ya here, without me givin ya leave an' all." He said it jovially but, as always, she could hear the implications and they pissed her off.
"I won't apologize for coming home Jimmy. Yes, I should have told you I was leaving but you weren't in town and my family needed me. That's what's important now." She stood her ground and Jimmy smirked.
"Aye, yer ties to yer family are important. I just don' like ya goin when I feel ya ain't comin back. It's a good t'ing I was already stateside, or I might've missed yer arrival with my wife." He gave Fiona a sharp look and Milla straightened but Jimmy didn't let her speak. "I know she surprised ya too. I just wanted ya ta know that this subterfuge wasn't appreciated. Now I have another task for ya, it's in two parts. One, ya keep quiet about me bein' here. I have a feeling some t'ings are happenin that I'm not gonna like and two, when I tell ya ta go back ta Belfast, ya go. You agree ta my conditions?"
Milla stood in front of him with her face blanked. She suddenly felt trapped and needed a way out but she knew that agreeing with him would be the easiest, safest thing.
"I'll agree to your conditions if you agree to mine. It's another two parter." She threw his words back at him. "I'll do what you ask if you, one, take care of my husband. You've been double dealing me for months here, contracting other people to do your job then holding back because you "need him" for some bullshit job. No more, Keegan dies."
She looked at him, her eyes hard as stone and her mouth fixed in a grim tight line. For the first time Jimmy could see that this wasn't the little girl who'd come a long way from home anymore, this was a woman who would get what she wanted, no matter the cost and he was impressed.
"Two...when he's gone and I'm free you let me go. I come home to Charming and our deals are done. No more True IRA shit for me and all my debts are clear. When I'm home it's to stay." Her eyes were still hard and Jimmy couldn't help but relent. With Keegan gone he'd have nothing more to hold over her head, she'd also greatly reduce in value so sending her away wouldn't be such a blow.
"Aye, you do this for me and I'll follow through." He put out his hand to shake and she shook on it, happy to be done with it.
…
"Thank you Doyle." Milla said as they drove toward her parents' house.
"Fer what?" He asked and she gave him a tiny smile.
"For staying by my side and not saying anything to Jimmy." She said the last quietly and he nodded but didn't say anything. He didn't need to, she understood why he did what he did, he could see the understanding in her eyes. As they turned into her parents' driveway she sat straight up, there was Deputy Hale...David…standing at his Jeep. When they stopped he walked over to her door and when she rolled down the window he looked surprised to see her.
"Milla?" The last time he'd seen her had been when she left Donna Winston's funeral, she' been acting like a zombie and he'd thought that she'd learned just what her so-called family was capable of and left for good. He'd apparently been wrong.
"Deputy Hale." She greeted with a nod. "What's happening?"
"Can you step out of the car for a moment?" He asked and Milla raised an eyebrow and forced him to continue. "I'd rather tell you face to face."
Milla nodded and felt deeply concerned as she stepped out of the car. As she stared at David he took a breath and started.
"Luann Delaney was found beside her car this afternoon. She'd been beaten with blunt objects, such as a baseball bat, and the perpetrators left her for dead." He said gravely and Milla's hand flew to her mouth as she stifled a sob. It couldn't be, her Auntie Lu couldn't be hurt like that.
"She's not..." Milla couldn't say it and Deputy Hale shook his head.
"No, she's not dead. She was just beaten severely and right now she's in critical condition at St. Thomas. I think it would be a good idea for someone to be there for her. I can provide you with a police escort if you want to go." He offered and Milla nodded.
"I'm not family, will they let me-" She began to ask but he cut her off.
"Don't worry about that. I'll make sure you're let in. You're the closest thing to family she has here." Milla nodded and went back to the car. David nodded to himself before he went to his Jeep, happy that at least one member of the clan knew how to look beyond whatever their own shit was.
As Milla and Doyle drove behind David and his flashing lights she texted her mother to inform her that she'd be in later. Her Auntie Lu needed her.
…
A Couple of Days Later...
Milla was sitting at Luann's bedside, like she'd done a lot of for the last few days, and waited for the few minutes of consciousness that Luann had been able to give her. They'd managed to get the swelling in her brain now and were hopeful that today would be the day that Luann would regain extended consciousness so they could test for brain damage or neural issues. Milla was reading about "100 Ways to Please Your Man", and taking mental notes of things to try with Juice when he was healthy and they were free, when there was a moan from the bed. She looked up to see Luann's eye open, the other was covered in gauze, and heard more unintelligible moans.
"Lu, oh god, I'll get the doctor." Milla got up and ran into the hallway where she grabbed the first nurse she could and told her to get Lu's doctor. The nurse complied and Milla waited outside while the doctor ran tests on Luann.
"You can come in Mrs. Rafferty." The doctor said as he poked his head out the door and Milla nodded before she walked in and moved to Luann's side. She took her surrogate mother's hand in hers and kissed her fingers as the doctor spoke.
"We still have to conduct a battery of tests but from what we can tell from Mrs. Delaney's injuries she has the potential of making a decent recovery." Milla felt tears in her eyes and leaned to kiss Luann's cheek before the doctor continued. "That's not to say that her recovery will be complete. The damage to her left eye has been irreparable and an enucleation is the only option. Also, the damage to her left arm and hand is severe to the point where, while amputation is not the appropriate course of action, we do not feel that she will ever regain full use. Luckily, she is not showing signs of extreme neural trauma and I feel as though she will regain her faculties with hard work, persistence and a good care staff."
"Thank you doctor. I'll make sure that she's taken care of." Milla still clutched Lu's hand and the doctor nodded.
"I'm glad Mrs. Delaney has family like you to care for her. I'll leave you alone for a few minutes, then we'll take her down for a scan." Milla nodded and smiled down at her beloved Lu.
"You hear that, they're optimistic. I'm so sorry about your eye but we'll figure something out, get you a sexy eye patch or something." She shook her head. "Scratch that, we'll figure it out as soon as you're out of here."
"Cara-" Luann started before her dry throat stopped her.
"Cara Cara's good. Bobby's working with one of your girls named Chantal or Chantrelle, something like that. They're taking care of it all. No need to worry." She kissed Lu's hand and Lu swallowed before she tried to talk again.
"Cara...Cara...yours...Rosen." Luann said before she coughed lightly and Milla was sure she heard her wrong. "Call...Rosen...Cara...Cara...yours."
Milla stood shocked by the bed as the words sunk in. Luann had just told her that Cara Cara was hers. That couldn't be right, she was delusional. That meant that there was only one thing to do. Once Luann was in for tests she had to call the Club attorney.
…
Milla sat in silence as Rosen started packing up his briefcase. He'd been near Charming when she called and just happened to be on his way to track her down. Jax had called him regarding Cara Cara's ownership with Luann's inability to run things so he'd gotten the files together to talk to Jax and hopefully track down Milla. Luckily Milla had gotten to him first.
She still couldn't believe that Luann had drawn up paperwork to make Milla her successor. At the advent of Luann's death or grievous injury she'd made Milla Cara Cara's big boss. Milla knew next to nothing about the porn business and would have to find an executive officer to work for her while she was in Belfast but she could learn and she felt tears in her eyes for the second time that day. Lu had unwittingly just given her a reason to come home that no one would argue with. Wiping tears from her eyes she got out of the booth and leaned up to kiss Rosen's cheek. The man had just saved her life and didn't even know it.
…
The Next Day...
Milla couldn't believe the state of her luck. She'd just become owner of Cara Cara and even found a working arrangement that worked with her brother when the place started on fire. She wasn't an idiot, she understood that it was arson there was no other way around it, but it certainly felt like an act of god, a god that didn't want her to have a home or be happy. The only good thing she could think of was that the entire place didn't burn to the ground. Yes, the store room was gutted and the performer's area was in cinders along with the office but the structure still stood, only one of the servers was baked and the outlying buildings were untouched. This meant they could run on a skeleton crew and a few girls and still work, but it would only take a couple of weeks to get going and a few months to fix the damage in the studio. That is if the Club ponied up the money, which she doubted they would with the current state of things.
Her mind was on overdrive as she pushed Little Clay in the cart in the grocery store. He was playing with a toy plane that had been a gift from his Grampa Clay and talking a mile a minute as Milla collected food. Her mother was going to make an intimate, immediate family only, dinner and Milla had volunteered to do the shopping, anything to get out of the house and out of the hospital. As much as she loved Juice and Lu she couldn't stand it anymore. Her only consolation was that Chibs was out and the last time she visited he seemed to be over the majority of his animosity toward her. She wouldn't doubt that Fiona was behind that change of heart. Once she had the food she pushed the cart outside to where one of the hang arounds was waiting. She couldn't use Doyle as a chauffeur anymore and that was fine with her, he deserved a break. As she unloaded her bags she felt a presence behind her and turned to see Little Clay showing a tall woman in an ill-fitting suit his plane. The woman looked up and met her stare with cold eyes.
"Hello, Mrs. Rafferty, I'm Agent June Stahl with ATF. I was hoping we could have a quick word." She smiled and the curve of her lips looked wrong on her face, unnatural.
"I'm sorry Agent Stahl but I have groceries to get home and a little boy who needs a nap." She grabbed Little Clay and set him in his seat, keenly aware of the fact that Agent Stahl wasn't budging. Once Little Clay was buckled in and secure she turned to Agent Stahl. "I know what you want to talk about Agent Stahl and I know nothing. In case you haven't noticed I live in Belfast and I have no idea what happens around here."
"Well your presence here indicates otherwise. You arrived in Charming not long after Filip Telford's accident and the imprisonment of the majority of the Redwood Charter." She said pointedly and Milla scoffed.
"Imagine that, my mother tells me that someone I've loved since I was a teenager was injured and I come to offer support. Yeah, that's awfully suspicious." Milla shook her head. "I don't know anything about anything Agent."
Milla was getting ready to get in the car before Agent Stahl spoke up again and forced her to turn around.
"What about the True IRA? My sources show you're pretty chummy with several of their members. I mean you're married to Keegan Rafferty, one of Jimmy O'Phelan's middle men and very close to Fiona Larkin and her daughter. You mean to tell me that you don't know anything at all?" She asked and Milla sighed deeply.
"No, I don't know anything at all. I'm just a wife; I'm not even on the fringes. In other words, I'm worthless to you." She crossed her arms over her chest and Stahl looked at her.
"Quick question, do you know where your husband is? According to our sources he dropped off the radar nearly two weeks ago. You don't think something happened to him do you?" She asked, hoping for some tell on Milla's part. In reality she knew exactly where the Irish asshole was and wanted wifey to spill. She could offer a good deal for a young mother who cooperated.
"Did your sources check all the pubs from Belfast to Dungloe? He can't walk past an establishment without sampling their wares. Now if you'll excuse me I have some frozen items that need to be returned to a freezer and a little boy about to get cranky. Have a lovely day and please, leave me alone. I don't think your superiors would look upon harassment charges favorably." With the threat in the air Milla got in the car and had the hang around drive them to her parents' house, she had groceries to unload.
…
Later that day...
They lay in the hospital bed together with the curtains closed. After much begging and pleading on Juice's part he'd convinced her to see how far they could go and how quiet they could be. Soon enough he had his tongue down her throat and his hand between her legs. She'd managed a blow job earlier and his stitches hadn't torn so he deemed that progress but there was no way he was going to leave her hanging. Once she'd sighed in his mouth and clenched his fingers rhythmically he knew she was done and he removed his hand, disappointed that this was all they could do. He brought his fingers to his mouth and licked them clean as Milla lay panting on her back, her breasts pushing her cleavage to the fore. The way she looked at him made him feel like a god and he was glad she'd agreed to this. Then again, when she'd shown up she was upset so it really was no surprise that she wanted a distraction. He just had to convince her.
Once they were calmed and cleaned up Milla got out of the bed and pulled the curtains back before she sat by the bed and watched Animal Planet with him. He kept watching her as she sat with him, amazed that she'd put her life on hold for him and proud. Even though it wasn't official everyone seemed to treat her like she was his Old Lady and he was grateful for that fact. They sat comfortably for a few minutes before Bobby and Jax entered the room. On their way in each hugged Milla before Bobby went to greet Juice. She smiled at their interaction before Jax turned to her and gave her a serious look.
"Can you go outside for a few minutes sweetheart? We have some Club business to discuss with Juice." Jax requested and she nodded.
"Yeah, I'll be in the hallway, come get me when you're done." She asked and her brother nodded, already planning on doing that.
Milla stood in the hallway, worried about what would be so important that they'd come to the hospital to discuss with their injured brother. As she contemplated Jax came out and leaned against the wall with her, not saying anything but with worry hanging off him like a cloak.
"I know it's not my place, but I'm here if you want to talk." She said quietly and Jax turned to her.
"I'm going Nomad; it just needs to be brought to vote." He said it quietly and was amazed when Milla just nodded.
"You feel this will fix whatever's goin on with the Club?" She asked before she turned to him. "Fix whatever's goin on with you?"
"Yeah, this is the only way." He said quietly and Milla nodded again.
"Good thing Tara's a good woman and puts up with your shit. Just be sure she knows how much more shit she's going to put up with. I have faith in her to care for your son and keep a home for you but you need to have the same faith and do your damndest to come back to her. I love you big bro and I'll support you." Milla said, not sure how her brother would react. He moved quickly and wrapped his arms around her, loving his little sister more than he thought possible. She got it and she supported him, now if only Gemma would let go.
"I love you Millipede, more than you know." He kissed her forehead and she nodded. She knew. He was the only one to call her back during her exile, she knew.
…
Later that afternoon Milla left the hospital, sad about leaving Juice but glad to finally be able to spend some time with her family. Even with the tension she'd be with her Dad, her brother and Mother. There was something about blood family that no other family could rival. Before she got to the car she knew she was waiting for a large, black sedan parked in front of her and she inwardly groaned. She knew who it was and he was the last person she wanted to see. As Jimmy stepped out of the car and she looked on his face she knew what he wanted.
"Now?" She asked in exasperation and Jimmy nodded. "Come on, I barely spent any time with my family."
"Tha's not my problem. Go to yer Ma's house, collect yer boy then meet us at the safehouse. I already got tickets for ya an Little Clay, Fi's stayin with me so I can keep an eye on 'er. I want ya back and with the army. There's shit brewin' in Charmin' an I wan' ya out of the way." He said and Milla sighed.
"Would this shit have to do with my wayward husband? I got shanghaied by an ATF Agent earlier, said the bastard's been off the radar for two weeks." She said and Jimmy couldn't help but smirk, the girl had balls.
"He's back on the radar an' yer not safe. Go, say goodbye to yer family for now. Yeh'll be back before ya know it." His command was light but she still heard it and nodded.
"I'll go, but remember our deal Jimmy. I go and you take care of this." She said brusquely and Jimmy nodded. He'd take care of things.
"I will, now ya go and I'll have Doyle come get ya." He dismissed her and got in, driving off while Milla swore, going to the car where the hang around was waiting but was smart enough to keep his mouth shut as she got in.
…
Milla looked out the window as they took off, feeling worse the higher they climbed. She felt like she was abandoning her family when they needed her the most but she'd made a deal and had to follow through. Her mother said she understood but Gemma was famous for saying one thing and feeling another so Milla was understandably wary of anything her mother said, but she'd assured her that she'd be back and that seemed to placate Gemma. With another in a long line of sighs she settled back into the seat. She really should try to sleep; she had a long flight ahead of her.
…
Author's Note: We're on the home stretch! One more chapter to go before it's over. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing I can't possibly tell you all how much you inspire me. I'm hoping to have the last chapter up by the end of the week so have a look out. Again, thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! :)