A Disastrous Dinner

Hunter put his arm around Stephanie. "This is really, really nice," he said in appreciation. "I can't remember the last time you and I got to spend any time alone together."

She nodded. "I know. And the restaurant Mom recommended to supposed to be all fancy and romantic."

"I figured it had to be since we're taking the limo." He frowned. "Why haven't we left yet?"

The limo door opened and Jeff, Beth, Matt, Shawn and Rebecca let themselves in. They were all dressed up but the effect was kind of ruined because they all had Jeff's freaky face paint on.

"No!" Hunter groaned. "Why are you guys here?"

Shawn frowned. "We're going to dinner, remember? You were talking about it earlier."

"I was talking about me and Stephanie going to dinner by ourselves! I didn't invite all of you!"

"Well that's just rude," Matt scolded. "We went to all this trouble to make ourselves look nice and now you act like you don't want us to come."

"That's because we don't want you here," Stephanie said. "And why are you wearing that face paint?"

"Well, we could tell you, but then we would have to kill you," Jeff informed her.

Hunter and Stephanie chuckled.

Beth glared at them. "You know, you think he's joking, but he's really not. We will have to kill you if we tell you."

That shut Hunter and Stephanie up.

When they arrived at the restaurant, the poor people who worked there looked scared to death of Jeff and the others. Hunter was shocked they were even given a place to sit. "Okay look guys, if you're going to be here tonight, please, PLEASE behave," he pleaded. "This is a really high class restaurant and you don't need to be pulling your shenanigans."

"Shawn wants crabs!" Jeff announced loudly. He beat his fist against the table. "Let's get a dirty slut over here so he can get the crabs!"

Rebecca smacked him on the back of the head. "He wants crab cakes you idiot. They're a kind of food. I've explained this to you a hundred times today."

"Shawn wants crabs! Shawn wants crabs!"

Matt shook his head. "You might as well give up Rebecca. He's not listening to anything but the voices in his head."

"I hear voices in my head, they talk to me, they understand, they talk to me," Shawn sang loudly.

Beth threw her fork at the Heartbreak Kid. "I know you think you can sing, but you really can't. So please, for the love of God, stop trying."

Stephanie rubbed her temples slowly. "God, this is already turning into a disaster. This can't get any worse."

Jeff tapped Matt on the shoulder. "Hey Matt, do you know what the hand said to the face."

"No, what?"

"SLAP!" Jeff proceeded to slap Matt right across the face.

Matt glared at his brother. "Oh you are so dead!"

Hunter shook his head as Matt started chasing Jeff all around the restaurant. "Why did you say this couldn't get worse?" he asked Stephanie. "Were you trying to jinx us or something?"

"I don't see why you said I can't sing," Shawn said to Beth. Them and Rebecca were ignoring the others. "I can sing perfectly fine." He looked at his wife. "Can't I honey?"

Rebecca looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "Uh…I plead the fifth on this one."

"What do you mean you plead the fifth? Why are you pleading the fifth?"

"Because she doesn't have the balls to tell you that your singing sucks," Beth said.

"So does that mean you have balls?" Shawn asked.

"Not literal balls Shawn."

Shawn wasn't listening to her though. "Hey everybody! Beth Britt has balls!"

Jeff stopped right in his tracks. "What? When did you get balls Beth?"

Matt tackled Jeff from behind. "I got you, you little bastard! Come here you fucker!"

Hunter smacked his forehead as Matt power bombed through a random table. It was safe to say the two people eating at that table were not pleased by having their food covered with Jeff's body. "Okay, this is getting ridiculous! All I wanted to do was have one quiet and romantic dinner. Was that too much to ask for?"

"Apparently yes it was," Stephanie replied. "Honey, I hate to break this to you, but I think you need to find yourself some normal friends."

"I know I do honey. I really, really do."