The Trial of the WWE Superstars

"What the hell is this all about?" Undertaker asked. The entire company had been gathered in the catering area. For some reason, the area had been transformed from a cafeteria to a courtroom. "Who did all this?"

Kane shook his head. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

Matt, Jeff and Shawn came in. Shawn stood by judge's bench that had been set up. Matt sat at one of the tables in the front of the room. "Everybody sit down," Shawn ordered. "The trial will commence shortly."

"Trial?" Chris Jericho said in disbelief. "What trial?"

"The trial of the WWE superstars," Shawn answered. "Now sit before I make Jeff chase you down with a steel chair."

Everyone reluctantly sat down. Just moments later, Hunter came in wearing a judge's outfit. "All rise for the Honorable Judge Helmsley," Shawn ordered.

"But we just sat down!" Miz complained.

Hunter pulled his sledgehammer out from his robes. "He said rise you assholes!"

Everyone stood back up until Hunter took his place at his bench. Then they all sat back down. "Okay, who's up first?" Hunter asked.

Jeff opened his notebook and looked at it. "Eggs, milk, twenty bags of Skittles…wait, that's my grocery list." He turned the page. "Kill Matt if he does not surrender my Beanie Baby. Oh, that's a note I wrote to myself earlier. Damn it." He turned the page again.

"Dude, I don't have your stupid Beanie Baby," Matt said.

"Liar!"

"Boys," Hunter growled.

"Here it is!" Jeff said. "The prosecution would like to call Legacy up to the stand." He looked around. "Wait, we don't have a stand."

"I couldn't find anything good enough to be the stand," Shawn said. "They can just stand by Matt. He's the defense after all."

"Okay Legacy, get your butts up here," Hunter ordered.

Randy, Ted and Cody reluctantly came up to sit with Matt. "This is stupid," Randy muttered.

Jeff cleared his throat. "Mr. Randy Orton is being charged with a lot of counts of recklessly punting people in the head, three counts of assaulting the McMahon family, one count of assaulting our own Judge Helmsley here, destruction of private property, and just plain being a jackass."

"Your Honor I object!" Matt said.

"Overruled!" Hunter replied.

"But your Honor, most of those charges come from my client simply doing his job!"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Hunter shouted.

"Ha ha, you got yelled at," Jeff said gleefully to Matt. He went back to his list. "Mr. Ted DiBiase and Mr. Cody Rhodes are accessories to all these crimes because all Barbies must have accessories. And besides from that, I charge Mr. Cody Rhodes with being a closeted homosexual."

"Are you trying to say I'm gay?" Cody asked.

Randy looked pissed. "Did you just call me a Barbie?"

Ted just looked lost. "Don't we get a chance to defend ourselves?"

Jeff looked at Cody. "Yes and you're being charged because you refuse to come out. It's okay to tell us what we already know; we're not going to judge you." He looked at Randy. "Yes, you are a Barbie. Only you're uglier and have no boobies." He looked at Ted. "No, you don't get to defend yourself. That is not how this trial is going to work. You will accept my charges and you will like them!"

Matt raised his hand. "Your Honor--"

Hunter smashed his sledgehammer against the ground. "Enough! Legacy is guilty on all charges! Get 'em Shawn."

Shawn picked up his Bible and proceeded to smack each member of Legacy with it. "Jesus just kicked your ass!" he exclaimed.

Jeff looked down at his notebook. "Okay let's see who's next…oh there's my Randy and Cody gay fan fiction story."

"You wrote a gay fan fiction story about Cody and Randy?" Shawn asked.

Jeff shrugged. "I was bored." He turned the page. "I want to call Edge up to the stand."

Edge started to come up but Matt smacked him on the head with a chair. "He's guilty Hunter," Matt said.

Hunter nodded. "I know he is Matthew. Jeff, who's next?"

"Ms. Vickie Gurerro."

"Excuse me?" Vickie screeched.

Everybody winced. "Shawn…" Hunter started to say.

"I can't Hunter," Shawn objected. "She's a woman."

Jeff took the Bible from Shawn. "It's okay, we understand." He walked back to where Vickie was and hit her in the face with the Bible. As he was walking back up to his table, he stopped and looked at Kane. "You're next buddy."

Kane got up. But instead of joining Matt like he was supposed to, he choke slammed Shawn instead.

"Hey, order in my court!" Hunter shouted. "I ought to hold you in contempt!"

Undertaker stood up. "That's it. I've had as much as I can take. I'm out of here."

"Sit down you bastard," Jeff said. He hit Undertaker on the back of the head with the Bible. "We're not done yet."

Undertaker turned around and grabbed Jeff by the throat. "What did you just say boy?"

Matt laughed at the terrified look on Jeff's face. "You're in trouble now."

Hunter hit his sledgehammer against the ground again. "Order! Order in my courtroom damn it!"

Undertaker tossed Jeff into Hunter, sending both men sprawling on the ground. "This courtroom is adjourned," the Deadman announced.