Operation Get Some Pants On Jeff

"Oh I love Skittles, yes I do. I love Skittles, how about you?" Jeff sang under his breath. He was at the arena for Smackdown (still naked of course). He didn't actually have any Skittles but he intended on finding some. He started heading towards the vending machine when he saw Hunter standing in his way. The Cerebral Assassin was armed with a pair of jeans. "No!" Jeff said stubbornly.

"Yes," Hunter insisted. He started to advance towards the Rainbow Haired Warrior. "This is for your own good Hardy."

"Screw you Hunter!" Jeff turned around to run away only to be caught by Shawn and Matt. "No!" he whined as they held on to him tightly. "No pants! No pants!"

"Yes pants," Shawn said. "Pants want to be your friend again. Pants are not your enemy."

"Yes they are," Jeff said. "They're evil. They must die!" He stomped on Shawn's foot and bit Matt so he could run away. "You're never going to get them on me! Do you hear me you freaks? Never!"

"Jeff get back here!" Hunter yelled. He was running as fast as he could. This was getting ridiculous. He chased Jeff all around the arena three times before Jeff tripped and fell.

"OW!" Jeff screamed. "I hurt my knee! I hurt my knee Hunter."

"Yeah, you really did," Hunter said sympathetically. He had to play his cards just right to accomplish his mission. That's a pretty nasty owie you have there." He feinted like he was going to examine the scrape more closely but he really ended up trying to force one of Jeff's legs into the pants.

Jeff's eyes widened. How dare Hunter try that? The betrayal! The nerve of that big nosed bastard! He kicked Hunter in the knee as hard as he could and scrambled up to his feet so he could start running again. "It'll never work Hunter! You'll never get my pants on! I will be naked forever!"

"Jeffery Nero Hardy!" Beth shouted at the top of her lungs. She came out of Stephanie's office and tried to do everything in her power to stop him. "Get your pants back on this instant! What exactly do you think you're doing?"

"I'm streaking!" he informed her. He moved her out of the way so he could keep running. "And you can't stop me Beth Britt! Nobody can stop me! Not you, Hunter, Shawn, Matt, Stephanie or any of the other bastards in this locker room!"

Undertaker suddenly appeared. "What did you say Hardy?"

Jeff gulped and skidded to a halt. "Other way! Must go other way!" He ran off in the other direction and found himself face to face with Edge.

"Damn it Hardy!" the Ultimate Opportunist yelled. "Why are you still naked? Are you trying to give me nightmares?"

Jeff frowned. "No, I'm just trying to be happy. Don't you want me to be happy Adam?"

"No! I want you to go put some damn pants on!"

Jeff kicked Edge between the legs for yelling at him and took off running again. Why was everyone being so mean to him? Couldn't they understand that he was having fun being naked? Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

Suddenly everything around him turned red and creepy music started to play. "What the hell is going on?" he muttered. "I better not have a serial killer after me. That would really suck."

The Boogeyman popped up out of a crate. "I am the Boogeyman, and I am coming to get you some pants!" He held up a pair of jeans as proof.

"EW, they probably have worms in the pockets," Jeff said in disgust. He quickly got away from Boogeyman. "He doesn't even work here anymore. Why the hell does he keep showing up?"

Soon Jeff came across a vending machine. But there were two problems. One: he had no money because his money was in his pants pocket. And two (which was really the more serious problem) was the fact that the vending machine had no Skittles. None at all. He started running around again, looking into every machine that was in the building. All the Skittles were gone. Somebody had kidnapped the Skittles.

"Oh Jeff," Matt called out. The older Hardy approached his younger brother slowly. He was holding Jeff's pants in his hands. "Notice anything missing?"

"You bastard!" Jeff said. He put his hands on his hips and glared at his older brother. "You kidnapped the Skittles! That is just wrong!"

"Yeah I know it is," Matt admitted. "I'll tell you what I'll do to make it okay. You put on your pants and I'll tell you where I hid the Skittles."

Jeff bit his lip. This was going to take a lot of thinking and consideration. This was a very important decision.

Five seconds later, he had made up his mind. "Give me those," he said as he took the pants back. He slipped them back on and then looked at his older brother. "Now where are those Skittles? I demand that you release them at once!"

"They're in my bag you dork," Matt told him. He shook his head. "You know, sometimes I think you love those Skittles more than me."

"Well no duh," Jeff said as he rolled his eyes. "Here's the list of things I love: Skittles, Beth, Pixie Stix, Sour Skittles and then you and Daddy are tied for last. Since you guys are not fruity candy and I'm not going to have sex with either of you any time soon, you must come in last. He patted Matt on the head and then took off running towards Matt's locker room. There were Skittles to consume after all.