Super Powers Rock…Most of the Time

Hunter held his sledgehammer high above his head. "I am Hunter, King of Kings! I look like Thor and I smash like Hulk!" He took his sledgehammer and started using it to hit anything and everything in his path. Hunter mad! Hunter smash!"

Shawn, Matt and Jeff came out of the cafeteria to see what was going down. "What the hell are you doing?" Shawn asked.

"I'm a superhero," Hunter told him. "I'm like a cross between Thor and Hulk."

"So you have super powers now?" Jeff asked. He stomped his foot and made a whining noise. "That's not fair! I want super powers!"

"So go get some," Hunter said. He started banging his sledgehammer against the wall. "I'm sure there are plenty left."

Matt groaned as Jeff ran off. "Why did you tell him that? Now he's never going to calm down and take his nap."

Hunter frowned. "He has to take a nap?"

"He didn't get enough sleep last night because some big nosed blonde bastard told him there was a psychic waiting for him under his bed to hijack his brain."

"I said I was sorry like ten times today! What more do you want me to say?"

"Guys!" Shawn interrupted. "What super power should I have?"

Hunter and Matt looked at each other before shrugging. "What super power do you want to have?" Matt asked.

"Uh…" Shawn started shifting from foot to foot as he tried to think of a really cool super power. "I want to be able to turn invisible." He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate before sighing in annoyance. "I can't do it when you guys are watching!"

Matt and Hunter rolled their eyes and turned around so they weren't facing Shawn. "So what super power do you want to have?" Hunter asked Matt as he destroyed a table with his sledgehammer.

"How about the power of sanity?" Matt suggested. "I'll be the only sane person in our little group of friends."

Hunter shook his head. "No way. Sanity is so totally gay." He started hitting his sledgehammer against the pop machine. "I think you should be Batman."

"Yes, because me dressed up as a giant bat is going to be a lot less gay than me just being sane."

"Oh come on Matt. You're dark and sexy like Batman. Hey Ted, Cody, come here for a second!"

The two youngest members of Legacy apprehensively approached Hunter. "If you need help with that killer raccoon again, you can just forget it," Ted said immediately.

"Don't worry, there's no killer raccoon this time," Hunter assured him. "I just want to know if you think that Matt would make a good Batman."

Cody frowned. "Why?"

"Just answer the question."

"Okay, uh…yeah, I guess so." Cody looked at Ted.

Ted just shrugged. "Yeah sure. Matt would be okay as Batman."

Hunter grinned and patted Matt on his shoulder. "See? You can be Batman, Ted can be Robin and Cody can be Batgirl."

Cody looked offended. "Why do I have to be Batgirl? I'm not even a girl!"

"He's right," Ted said. "He would be uglier in drag than Santino is. It's so obvious that I need to be Batgirl."

Cody stared at his friend incredulously. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Dude, Robin is so gay. And honestly, that would probably suit you better."

Matt and Hunter laughed as Cody slapped his friend.

Jeff came back to them. He now had a cape taped around his neck. "I'm going to fly," he informed them. "Hey Shawn, come watch me fly."

"Damn it!" Shawn yelled in frustration. "I can't be invisible when you look at me Jeff!"

"Jeff, you know you can't really fly right?" Matt asked as Jeff set up a ladder and started to climb up it. "Hunter doesn't really have super powers you know. He's just hitting things with his hammer. And Shawn isn't really invisible."

"Quiet you!" Shawn screamed. "I am invisible as long as you're not looking!"

Jeff stood on top of the ladder. "Ladies and gentlemen, this will not be a bird. It will not be a plane. It will be Jeffery Nero Hardy--the amazing flying Rainbow Boy!"

"Dude, that name is gayer than Cody over here," Hunter muttered.

"Hey!" Cody shouted.

"Oops, I meant Robin."

"Hunter, you are asking for it!"

"I'm assing for it? That's disgusting Rhodes. You need to stay away from my ass."

"Okay, here I go," Jeff said. He jumped off the ladder and tried to fly--but he only succeeded in doing a belly flop down to the floor.

Ted winced. "Oh that had to hurt."

Shawn nodded. He had temporarily stopped trying to say he was invisible. "I think we might have a situation here."

"Owie!" Jeff shouted. "That hurt!" He rolled over and kicked the ladder over. "Stupid thing!" He got up and yanked his cape off. "Dumb thing! It didn't help me fly!" He suddenly glared at Hunter. "You."

"Uh oh," Hunter said. He raised the sledgehammer to protect himself. "Jeff, let's think about this for a second."

"You lied about the super powers," Jeff growled. "YOU MUST DIE!"

Matt, Shawn, Ted and Cody watched as Hunter (who was still holding the sledgehammer) ran the hell away from Jeff. Jeff took off after him, but he wasn't running quite as fast as usual because of the nasty spill he had taken off the ladder. Finally, Shawn just sighed. "I think I know why I can't turn invisible. The lobsters took my powers."

The others turned around to look at him. "What?" they said in disbelief.

He grinned. "Sit down children and listen closely. This is an important tale that everyone needs to learn from. It's the tale of life, liberty, love…and lobsters. This story will be called…The Amazing Lobster Story."